Patient Princess 762
“Well, I have to say that spell seems to have some very strange, but interesting, side effects,” the mismatched draconequus said with surprise.
I looked into his yellow eyes with red irises, and almost remembered his name. It was like reaching for something important and sadly realizing that it was just out of reach.
Another voice followed. “Discord, you have to help me bring my sister back!”
Again my memory failed me, the name of the female alicorn was at the tip of my tongue. I fumbled at trying to grab her name out of my memory, but again my reach did not go far enough. My teeth gritted in frustration. Her face swam into view. I saw magenta eyes filled with concern along with a blue, green and pink flowing mane.
“Luna, my dear sister, please wake up...”
Then my alarm clock went off, it was a loud buzzing noise that shattered my dream, and brought me out of a sweaty fearful sleep. Who were those figments of my imagination? Already the details were fading while I desperately tried to hold them close so I could make sense of them.
I lay for a second in my bed. Well, maybe more than a second. While the dream faded away, loss filled my heart. Tears flowed down my dark blue cheeks. I sniffled, and wiped them away in vain. After a few minutes more, the tears stopped and I pushed the sadness to the back of my mind.
Now, I just had the day to face. It felt strange to be up and about while the sun was shining. Yes, the Director switched me to the day shift. I prefered the night shift, but he wanted me to use my skills during the day.
Poor Luna Nightwing who loved the night was now a day pony. Damn. Well, I had spent enough time in my messy bed bitching and whining. It’s time to Carpe Diem as they say. Maybe the day has its own beauties like the night?
My sheets were wet and cold. A quick glance showed that the pillow was on the floor. Ha, you should have seen what the other pony looked like. My quick bit of levity was hiding the fact that the dreams were getting worse, but I shoved that unpleasant thought to the back of my mind as I made my bed.
One should not allow things like dreams to interfere with one’s duty.
A quick shower later, and I was a clean dark blue unicorn pony with bright blue eyes and a dark blue mane. Breakfast was an egg white omelette and a hay Equish muffin. I was used to more unhealthy fare but after seeing one of my patients... Damn. I must not think of her now. My heart started to beat faster, but I took a few calming breaths until it went back to its normal rate. There will be time enough to think of work.
Yes, I am Supervisory Psychiatrist Luna Nightwing. One of the side effects of being promoted, was to work the day shift. To start when usually I would be leaving to go home. I polished off the last of the muffin before setting plates to the side, and starting on my morning routine.
Let’s see, one quick look at the mirror to see if I have any crumbs hanging around my mouth. One must be presentable at all times. Even if the bags under one’s eyes are starting to get more noticeable. The pony looking back at me seemed to have a huge well of melancholy behind those bright blue eyes.
Damn.
I went to the closet and tried to forget what I saw in the mirror. It took me a quick second to put on my crisp white uniform with my ID badge on the pocket.
One final look at my empty and cold apartment and I was off. A quick use of telekinesis to lock my apartment door, then I went down the stairs. My hooves clip clopped as I galloped.
While I walked down the steps, a question crept into my mind. How many years have I been living here? Weird, I don’t remember... It’s probably no big deal, I had a bus to catch anyway.
The bright sunlight stung my eyes until I put on my sunglasses. Again, I longed for the soothing darkness of night, but I knew better. This promotion was good for me. I kept moving down the street past my neighbor’s home.
What the hell?
Earth pony Robert Hocks was grazing. Mouth chewing, grass in mouth grazing. I raised my sunglasses to see what was going on more clearly. Of course, the sun took the opportunity to stab me in the eyes.
I blinked a bit until my burning, tearing eyes adjusted to the light. Robert was still chewing and smiling. I like an occasional hay smoothy, but I would never eat the stuff right out of the ground. It’s just too nasty. One does not graze when better food is available.
Robert’s long suffering pegasus wife, Emma, walked by him and straight up to me.
“Emma, make the call and I will have someone take care of him. He will be in good hooves,” I said.
Tears ran down her face as she nodded.
I gave her a small smile then continued down to the bus stop. Something about today just felt really off. Maybe it was the dream I had this morning? No matter, once I get to the office, all of these strange feelings will fade away.
An orange bus rolled past me, and I started galloping to get to the bus stop. I don’t like being late. To me, it's an affront to the position even if the Director does not care. This time I was lucky, a crowd of ponies were waiting there. Some of them recognized me from other mornings. Even the ponies pulling the bus knew me.
I wonder if being royalty was like that. Ha ha. I was just a “shrink” as the laypony would say, not a princess. A patient thought I was... My ears and tail drooped. No, I must not think about that now.
I paid my four bits bus fare, and walked down the aisle. The blue and white interior was half full, but I could not sit by myself. The bus jerked forward, and I quickly chose a window seat next to a yellow mare and her orange fussy, gurgling foal. It would have been okay, but I could smell that the diaper was beyond full. Why do I expose myself to such things? I almost wanted to cough but I managed to hide my reaction by facing the window.
Yeah, I should work hard at saving my bits for a cart, or maybe a cart service. For now, it was bus rides with other ponies no matter what their station was in life. At least I could look out the window, and see buildings roll past.
I must have fell asleep because when I looked up, I was near my stop. Foal Stinky-Pants and her mother were gone. I flung my right forehoof at the next stop cord to make the bell rang. The empty bus stopped, and the driver waved goodbye. A quick gallop through the front door then I was outside in the bright yellow sunshine. It did not take me too long to canter along the green hedge wall of the Sanitarium until I reached the gate. One of the pony guards asked for my ID card. I gave it to him. After a few minutes, the gate buzzed open so I could walk through.
The front of Equestrian Acres Sanitarium was spread out in front of me. A walkway paved with grey slabs of granite led to the front doors. Along the walkway, there were white metal tables with red and blue umbrellas on top. Most of the tables were empty except for the tables near the front door. One table had a blue female pegasus while across the walkway there was a pink female earth pony.
Alongside the main door were white fluted columns that held up a balcony. The Director’s office was up there. Sometimes he would have lunches with his favorite doctors there. I remembered being at a few of those. I sighed, while I walked toward the front door. This was truly my home.
My apartment was where I slept, but this place, well, it was home. My friends, my work and my life was here. For some reason, that gave me a pang of sadness. Why? I pushed that thought away, and focused on being professional. I would not be doing my duties if I let myself get distracted.
When I walked next to the blue pegasus’s table, she greeted me. “Heya Luna, how goes it?”
“Fine, Rainbow Dash. How are you?” I checked out her dual blue crutches and the strange looking tortoise shell on her table. For one quick second, I thought that the shell was occupied, and the inhabitant had stretched out its neck and winked at me.
“I would feel better if you would let me go,” Rainbow Dash complained.
“You know I can’t do that. Only Dr. Oswald Snails can approve your release,” I replied.
Rainbow Dash had been admitted by her friends Soarin and Spitfire. They were concerned about her reckless search for more extreme stunts. Even though Ms. Dash seemed totally competent, inside she was overcompensating for feelings of inadequacy. Unless Dr. Snails can convince Ms. Dash to slow down, she will be a danger to herself, and others by accident.
Rainbow’s reply brought me out of my thoughts.
“Well, you are Snails’ boss right? You could force him. Well, not really force. You know what I mean,” Rainbow Dash said.
I hated to discuss certain procedures with patients, but I figured I could make an exception this time. “Yes, Rainbow, that is true but I would have to have a good reason. Snails would have to be totally incompetent in order for me to override him. Also, the Director would have to agree with my diagnosis.”
Rainbow looked at me with her red eyes. “Can’t you see this place is sooo boring me to death?” Rainbow Dash pleaded.
“I’m sorry if this place is not as exciting as performing in front of an audience of enthralled ponies, but you need to take care of yourself. Maybe you should discuss your progress with Dr. Snails, and see if he could do some adjustments to your regimen?” I suggested.
Rainbow Dash sighed. “Okayyyyy.”
My eyes went back to the tortoise shell. Rainbow Dash saw me look. “That’s Tank, or what looks like his shell. Rarity made it for me using paper makay,” Rainbow Dash explained.
“You mean paper mache,” I corrected.
Rainbow Dash yawned. “Yeah, that.”
I stood there as ponies walked past me while I watched Rainbow Dash doze off. Poor thing, her bones were riddled with microfractures. There was a very good chance that she will never go back to doing aerial stunts like she used to.
Imagine not doing the one thing or things that made you feel good. No more flying so fast the sky is just a blur. The feeling of loss would be quite crippling. For a few seconds, I felt that something was gone from my life. My heart was a painful aching void. Then a loud snore from Rainbow Dash brought me back to reality.
After a few minutes, I walked over to the pink pony. Pinkamena Diane Pie was a textbook example of a Bipolar Disorder pony. If they used pictures in the Psychological Disorders Review, her face would be there. Dr. Ralston Snips was her doctor but any doctor can talk to any patient.
Pinkamena looked at me with her bright blue eyes and sighed. I remembered when she was Pinkie, a pink blur of energy and happiness. When she calmed down it was another story.
“Hello Dr. Luna, how are you?” she asked.
“I am fine, thanks for asking,” I replied.
Pinkamena’s hair was mostly flat and straight. There was some frizz to it. I had a feeling that the balanced Pinkamena would be less exciting, but probably more thoughtful.
“You know Dr. Luna, I miss those high highs. Some days it seemed like the sky was smiling at me. I wish I could have that but then I remember the low lows. I would feel like I was below Tartarus,” Pinkamena said as she looked down.
I started to reply when Rainbow Dash walked by on her crutches.
She shakily stuck out a hoof. “Yo Pinkie!” Her crutch squeaked with the movement.
Pinkamena bumped it with her hoof. “Hey Rainbow.”
Rainbow Dash walked on her crutches into the building.
“Keep working toward balance Ms. Pie,” I said.
Pinkamena nodded at me.
I nodded back and left her outside.
Cool air touched my face as I walked through the foyer. Along the walls, pictures of previous directors looked down on me. I had almost made it to the white marble staircase when a white male unicorn with blonde hair and blue eyes showed up.
“Dr. Nightwing, the Crazy Mare Crusaders are at it again!” Prince Blueblood said with annoyance.
I gave him a glare for using a prejudicial word. “Crazy?”
His blue eyes dropped. “Sorry, doctor.”
Prince Blueblood was part of a noble family, but they were poor. Prince was one of the few family members who was making some sort of money. He also preferred that the staff and friends called him, ‘Prince’.
I followed him as he led me through several hallways filled with ponies going about their business until we reached Recreational Area Five. The sight that met my eyes filled me with dismay. I gasped.
A bandage covered Apple Bloom was climbing up one of the tables. “Ahm going to get a cutie mark for being a mountain climber!”
Her bandaged friends, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle cheered her on. Bandages shone whitely on her horn.
I just knew something terrible was going to happen so I ran toward the table. My misgivings were not wrong as I saw Apple Bloom totter and fall off the table.
I will not allow a patient to hurt themselves while I am making my rounds. A blue glow covered my horn as I quickly cast a telekinetic net to catch Apple Bloom. The falling filly was caught and placed on the ground. She was lucky I was able to catch her in time. I still felt guilty for not helping them the other times though. No matter, I saved her now.
“Awww Luna, we were so close to being Mountain Climbers, and getting our cutie marks,“ Scootaloo said with somewhat unfurled wings. I could see that it was hard to totally unfurl her partially bandaged wings.
I wanted to crossly reply that their cutie marks should be of bandages, but that is not the way a trained professional acts. The best thing was to tell them that there were no such things as cutie marks, but I decided to be more diplomatic.
“You all have made great strides. Please do not ruin your progress by doing things that hinder your eventual healing,” I said with a smile.
For some reason that statement did not go well. All three fillies had drooping ears and tails.
I stood, patiently awaiting their reply.
Sweetie Belle spoke up. “Um, princess, um, Doctor Luna, we were just having fun.”
I looked into her green eyes and smiled. “There is nothing wrong with fun, but you need to find some sort of entertainment that does not endanger yourself or others. I remember that you used to draw and paint.”
“Paintin’ and drawin’ is fun, but we want to earn our cutie marks!” Apple Bloom replied.
“You do know that cutie marks do not exist. There are no such things as marks on a pony’s flank that shows their super special gift. All of you might have passed over your super special gift a long time ago because of your futile search for cutie marks,” I replied with a bit of anger. Well, maybe a bit more anger than what was needed.
“Ah understand, princess, Doctor Luna,” a downcast Apple Bloom replied.
All three fillies left with lowered ears and tails.
I made a mental note to have orderlies keep a close eye on them. It is very strange that they had relatives undergoing therapy in the building. A feeling that something was not quite right resurfaced. Maybe I was missing something important? A quick look showed three sad fillies walking away. No. I am not missing anything. One must not let strange feelings interfere with doing one’s duty.
While walking back inside, I encountered Rarity and Blueblood muzzle to muzzle. If I did not know their history of distaste for each other, I would have thought they were going to kiss. The narrowed eyes were good indicators that more hostilities were going to happen.
“Will I get more newspapers so I can finish my work for Hoity Toity?” Rarity asked.
“No! We are out of newspapers. You have used your allotment for this and next week,” Prince replied with a sneer.
This was a good time for me to step in and calm things down. I focused on being more diplomatic. Hopefully, I will do better this time. I took a calming breath.
“Excuse me, what seems to be the problem here?” I asked.
Rarity was the first out the gate with a high wattage smile from ear to ear. For a second, I thought about putting on my sunglasses. “Ahhh, darling Doctor Luna, you look simply ravishing. I need more newspaper for a special project and this ruffian will not give me any.” Rarity jabbed her white hoof at Prince.
I looked at Prince.
He gave me a sheepish look. “I’m sorry Dr. Luna but we are out of old newspapers and only have today’s papers. Some ponies have not had the chance to read them yet. Rarity has used up all of the newspapers.”
“Why should they read the news anyway? It’s full of mostly terrible ponies and terrible events. Anything remotely good is buried,” Rarity opined with a toss of her head that sent some purple hairs floating from her unkempt mane.
Rarity had been admitted by her friends Twilight Sparkle and Spike the baby dragon, after she had a psychotic break. Spike brought her an ancient book, and that was a stressor that triggered Rarity’s breakdown. Then she went on a spree, altering things to her standards of beauty. Of course changing things without permission is not allowed.
“Rarity, let me see what I can do. Can you return to your room?” I asked.
“Yes I can, and I eagerly await your decision!” She smiled another high powered smile, and cantered off to her room.
I could feel Blueblood’s glare like the warmth from a candle, but I ignored it.
“Prince, please use some of the funds from petty cash and go buy some newspapers. I have another task for you too. Find out what this special project is and give me a report,” I said.
He started to object, but then he saw the determined look on my face. “Yes, Dr. Luna.”
I watched as he cantered off to execute my order. Now, to get to work. There was another delay as I stood behind a bunch of staff-ponies and patients as they gawked at the show that Trixie Lulamoon was putting on. Even without her magic, she was doing pretty well. Even I stood, and watched as she made whooshing noises and moved her hooves to show the special effects. Ms. Lulamoon definitely had a talent for entertainment.
A beige mare next to me while she was watching the performance said, “Wake up, Luna.”
“What? I am awake!” I replied in a surprised tone of voice.
The pony looked back at me. “Sorry, that is the name of the routine.” Then she went back to watching Trixie.
Wake up Luna? What kind of name is that for a routine? For a quick second, I almost had an idea what the Trixie’s routine was about. I began to pant as the revelation loomed up my mind like an approaching train. No! No! I don’t want to know. I breathed a sigh of relief when the unsettling thought faded away. I moved on to safe and orderly thoughts. Trixie was disrupting things.
Of course, where she chose to do her performance was not the best place. I had to break away from watching her to get some orderlies to stop her, and return order to the stairs. I made a mental note to make sure Trixie had a decent place to do her next show. One of the dayrooms or an outside recreational area would do fine.
If she had her magic, she would probably put on quite a show, but there were special procedures for unicorns that were at risk. Since they could hurt themselves or others, a special substance called SpellBlack was placed on their horns that prevented magic use. It’s not too different from the material they used at sports events to prevent cheating. For some reason, Rarity did not get the procedure performed on her.
I did not worry about that as I waited for the crowd of spectators to disperse, then I was up the stairs and down the hall to my office. My hooves clicked on the shiny black and white marble floors.
My office, well, if you were expecting pictures of foals and family or friends, you would be disappointed. It’s just a well worn brown couch, a desk and chairs and, of course, cabinets. I guess I just never really thought about customizing my office after the many years I have been here. How many years have I been working here?
The number escaped me. Wait, that is not right. I should know for sure. I pushed that thought away to focus on the piles of forms on my desk. I glanced at my schedule for the day. Twilight Sparkle will be by for her appointment in two hours.
Damn.
I really should not curse that much, but Ms. Sparkle was a problem. I was so sure I had a handle on her situation, but she was steadily getting worse. I pushed that to the back of my mind too with an angry jerk of my head. Now, I have to fill out patient reports.
Two hours later, I was still immersed in my paperwork when Twilight Sparkle knocked on my door.
I jumped in surprise. The two hours were up? I suppressed a sigh while I looked at the pile of unfinished forms that awaited my signature. Well, they would have to wait. I quickly fished out Ms. Sparkle’s file and told her to come in with a slightly cross voice.
Twilight Sparkle came in and closed the door using a hoof. I could see that she was somewhat unsure of herself, it was probably due to my tone of voice. I could see the shiny black gleam of SpellBlack on her horn. She had scars on her sides where Rarity had placed paper mache wings. They were pretty, but I had them removed because the wings fed an unhealthy delusion.
Twilight sat in front of the desk while I discreetly tried to skim through her file.
“Excuse me, Princess Luna, but do I need to lie on the couch or sit in the chair?”
I looked up from the last page in the file. “You can sit in the chair. We agreed that Dream Therapy will start next week.”
I looked over her unkempt mane and tail. When she brought in Rarity for treatment, every hair was in place. Now, Ms. Sparkle looked like she does not care about her looks. Her delusion was occupying more of her time.
“How are you today, Ms. Sparkle?” I asked.
“I wrote ten letters about Friendship to Princess Celestia, Princess Luna,” Twilight replied happily. Her purple eyes seemed extra large with happiness.
I sighed and placed a small smile on my face. What was that saying? A bit of honey makes the medicine go down better. Yeah, I was going to have to be bitter.
I fixed Ms. Sparkle with a glare. “You do know that there is no such thing as Alicorns in real life. Draconequi rule our world with firm but kind claws. I allowed you to correspond with patient 762 because I saw there would be some therapeutic benefit to it but now it seems that whatever benefits I thought you would enjoy are being overwhelmed by your unhealthy fixation on being a Princess.”
Her ears drooped. “Princess Luna, you know that patient 762, Celestia, is a Princess,” Twilight replied with an angry voice.
The situation was spiraling out of control. I could feel my hooves slipping. As her doctor, I was supposed to lead her to a more healthier mental state but I was failing. I swallowed as the lump of incoming failure formed in my stomach. No! I will not fail! I took a breath to calm my racing heart then I began.
“There are no such things as Princesses. Princess Celestia is really Celeste HopperHauler, an earth pony that worked in the Canterlot Coal Mines. I am sorry, but I will have to insist that you stop sending her letters for the time being,” I pushed.
Twilight Sparkle looked at me with a face that promised some sort of angry retort or maybe violence. “You are wrong. You are not a Psychiatrist, you are an Alicorn Princess--”
I could feel anger building up. My ears were moving back and my body was tensing up. How dare this patient tell me what I am!
I interrupted her angry outburst with my Medical Voice. “PATIENT TWILIGHT SPARKLE. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM TALKING ABOUT PRINCESSES!” The power of my voice flung her out of her seat and across the room. She hit the cabinets with a thunk, then she started to sob.
I heard Lyra Heartstrings as she knocked on the door. “Is everything OK in there?”
“Yes, we are fine. Please come in and take Patient Twilight Sparkle to her room,” I snarled.
As quick as anger flashed in my heart, it cooled down to the ashes of regret. I could taste them as I swallowed. Using my Medical voice is not allowed unless under certain situations. Every time I use it, I have to justify why. This time, well, other than the feeling that I was losing control there was no real reason. Something about Patient 762 just rubs my fur the wrong way. It’s not that she is hostile, far from it. No, I must not think of that now. I shook my head to clear it of the disturbing thoughts.
Twilight Sparkle gave me a quick glance filled with betrayal and sadness before she left with Lyra. That look hurt me, I felt like I had broken something important and fragile. Before I could dwell on the ramifications of my hasty act, the intercom on my desk buzzed.
“The Director would like to see you now,” Papershuffler, the Director’s secretary said.
Damn.
I know he had heard me. Almost everyone in the facility did too. Now I had to face the music. To be honest, I was probably not going to like the tune.
-------------------
Unlike my office which was bare of personal effects, the Director’s office was filled with all sorts of items from his family. Childlike crayon scribblings from his foals and photos of his family were everywhere while voices from downstairs drifted in from outside.
The Director, Hector Orderly was a DracoEquus with a white coat, brown mane and brown eyes. He seemed like a dour creature. I have never seen him smile. Wait, I did have lunches with him. I tried to remember when and if he smiled but the memories eluded me.
I waited patiently while the Director finished talking with someone on the phone. When the call was done, I was transfixed by his frank brown-eyed gaze.
“I heard that you used your Medical voice on a patient earlier today. Can you tell me why?” He asked calmly.
I looked away for a second and looked back. “Twilight Sparkle was too insistent that she was a princess. She also believed that Patient 762 was one too...” My voice trailed off.
“Getting into a shouting match with patients is a good way to lose their trust. You also jeopardized their chances for a return to a healthy state of mind,” the Director said while fixing his eyes on me. His white fur seemed to glow in the sunlight.
I marveled at the golden glow of his claws. “I am sorry, Sir, I will restrain myself better,” I said.
The Director’s gaze softened just a little bit. “Doctor Luna, I know you are having problems adjusting to the new schedule and your promotion. I still have confidence that you will perform your duties. However, I must reduce your workload for now until I am confident that you can handle the extra duties. Patient Twilight Sparkle and Patient 762 will be transferred to other doctors until you have proven yourself capable of taking care of their needs. Do you understand?” the Director asked.
Losing Twilight Sparkle hurt me, but somehow, the loss of Patient 762 hurt me more, though I don’t know why. I pushed away thoughts about my failures to put a determined look on my face.
“I will redouble my efforts to provide quality mental health care for the patients,” I replied. The loss of two patients still bothered me. I do not like being seen as incompetent.
The Director nodded yes. “Good day, Doctor Luna. I wish you well on your rounds.”
I left his office filled with anger and a sense of strangeness. Maybe I should have stayed home today instead?
No! One must do one’s duty even if strange feelings intrude! I stamped my left forehoof.
My anger faded away too quickly into sadness, but I soldiered on to do my rounds. I had to check on my patients. I would leave the task of telling Twilight Sparkle that she was no longer under my care for tomorrow. Patient 762, I will deal with today, at least I have not shouted at her. Yet. That task, I will leave for last. I know, I did a terrible thing to her, no, I will not think of that now. Time for me to head to the West wing so I can do my rounds.
In this wing of the Sanitarium, the rooms had doors with observation windows so staff and doctors can check the status of patients. While I tried to regain my composure, my hooves took me to Vinyl Scratch’s room.
I sensed her dream. To those who deal with dreams, it’s like walking along and smelling food being cooked. Good dreams smell sweet like cake or pies while fearful dreams have an acrid burnt smell. By the amount of fear in Vinyl’s dream, it smelled like she had burned a batch of cupcakes. If I don’t intervene soon, more things will burn like her precious grasp on sanity. I could not stand idly by while a pony is in torment. I took a deep breath to help me focus my magic and then I entered her dream.
-------------
Music was thumping and ponies were dancing. The mesmerizing beats that were making my hooves move were changing. Piano music was slowly growing in volume. I could sense the level of fear growing in Vinyl’s mind. She was up in the DJ booth looking at her dual record players with horror as though they were going to turn into twin vipers ready to bite. Her dance music was turning into something she did not like, jazz.
I recognized the tune, it was a melancholic ballad called ‘Round Midnight’. It was played by Equinious Monk. This was one of my favorites, but to Vinyl it was pure poison. The poor mare was now up on the stage cowering under the hostile gaze of her audience. They had stopped dancing, and were yelling.
Something had to be done.
I used my magic to go through Vinyl’s memories. Imagine a large stack of records in their jackets. That is how Vinyl thought of her memories. I did not have too much time to idly look at the covers, the smell of fear was so bad now, I was coughing. Finally I found a suitable one, the cover showed Octavia lounging next to a cello. It took me a second to insert it into the dream.
As she started playing her cello, the music calmed the unruly crowd. I could feel the amount of fear lessen.
I watched the performance until there was no more fear. That was being replaced by feelings of happiness and lust. It was time for me to go.
-----------
When I left the dream, I took a quick glance into the room. Vinyl had a smile on her face. Huzzah for me! I have done one good thing today. I don’t remember a day this bad, actually I don’t remember any other days. My ears drooped while I tried to remember. No! I have done good things. I took some more deep breaths to help me focus on my duties. I focused on continuing my rounds. Again, one must do one’s duty. I walked down the dark green hall. My ears and tail drooped a bit.
I looked through Derpy’s window. She was just sitting on her bed looking at the wall. I knocked on the door so I could get her attention. A smile blossomed on her gray face when she turned her head and saw me. Derpy gave me a wave. I could see that she was doing fine so I moved to my next patient.
This one on the other hoof was not happy. I remembered his case file. Time Turner was interested in time but for some reason he had become fixated on the strange idea he was a Timelord in the shape of a brown earth pony stallion. The staff removed his “sonic screwdriver” and other items when he showed up in one of the recreational areas.
Time Turner was observing the activities outside his room. A smile lit up his face.
“Ah Doctor Luna, I hope you are well today.”
I sighed. He was going to try to convince me to set him free again. “I am well, thank you for asking, Time Turner.”
At the mention of his name, a grimace crossed his face then it was gone. “Dr. Luna, I must impress upon you the severity of the situation. The local timeline is majorly messed up. You must allow me to leave and to fix the situation!”
“Mr. Turner, I-, we have not found your ‘Tardis’ or any proof that you are a Timelord,” I replied.
He looked away for a moment and looked back. “How about my sonic screwdriver? Even an Alicorn of your standing must feel that something is off? Have you had incidents of missing memories? Does it feel like you are living the same day over and over? Do you even remember how you got here? Can you remember concrete details from previous days? Of course somepony of your standing would be able to remember how long you have worked here.”
His questions made me step back, it was like I was being interrogated by another doctor. My ears went back as I prepared to snarl a proper reply to this delusional patient that dared to question me so! Before I could frame a stinging retort, something tapped my right foreleg. I looked down at a purple and green dragon with a grey plush animal in its claws. My anger faded into sadness. I really did not want to face Spike and tell him the bad news about Twilight Sparkle.
I looked back at Time Turner. “I’m sorry but I have other pressing business to attend to.”
“Yes, yes, just like the last time!” Time Turner replied.
When I turned away to deal with Spike, I thought he said “Wake up, Luna.” No, I do not have time to even think about that. I looked back at Spike and prepared my words carefully.
“Dr. Luna, how are Rarity and Twilight Sparkle doing?” Spike asked.
I wanted to sigh but I managed to reply. “They are the same. No progress since last week.”
“That’s good, right?” Spike said with hope in his voice.
I did not want to lie to him but what could I do? Spike came every week. “Yes,” I said. I was spared from saying more lies when Lyra trotted up to me.
“I think there is something wrong with Fluttershy. She has not come out of her room in days. I hope that nothing bad has happened,” Lyra said, her golden eyes filled with worry.
Hearing Lyra’s misgivings about Fluttershy gave me a chill. I remembered that she was allowed a lot of freedom. If she wanted, she could skip a few meals though I don’t know why.
“Is Fluttershy okay?” Spike asked.
I looked down. “Yes, this is probably just a minor issue. Please go see Rarity or Twilight, Spike.”
Spike held up the toy for Fluttershy, and I used my magic to grab it gently. The toy went on my back. “Don’t worry Spike, I will deliver this to her.” He looked up at me with a small smile.
I trotted down the hall with Lyra to Fluttershy’s room. To my relief, Spike was already heading off to Rarity’s room. Good, I did not want to have him witness something disturbing. I could feel my ears and tail droop in anticipation of seeing something unpleasant.
Fluttershy’s door window was covered by a dirty brown blanket from the inside. Lyra gave me a fearful look. I shared her unease. It just took me a moment to unlock the door and open it.
A strange scene met our eyes. Fluttershy was moving her right forehoof like she was conducting a symphony. In front of her, three rats were standing on their hind legs and dancing. The moves were similar to what one sees at a ballet. Behind the pirouetting rats, several other rats were singing or squeaking in tune.
This would have been an interesting affair, but the smell of rotten food and the large horde of audience rats turned my stomach. I noticed that Fluttershy had several bite marks on her barrel.
The show, or whatever it was, ground to a halt. The rats in the audience squeaked in alarm and then ran for holes in the baseboard. Most of the rats ran towards me and Lyra. The sight of a river of brown, grey and black rats running at me was unsettling to say the least.
I tried to raise my hooves so the foul creatures would not touch them but I had to keep them on the ground so I would not topple into the midst of the disgusting creatures rushing past me. Deep down, I knew they were more afraid of me then I was of them but I kept trying to keep my hooves off the ground so they would not touch them. Several creatures squeaked their last under my accidental crushing hooves as I panicked and gasped.
When the last of the squeaking horde ran past, Fluttershy trotted up. I could feel her gaze on my bloody hooves.
“Fluttershy, this is a violation of policy and health regulations. Rats are not allowed in a patient’s room. These creatures have no place here,” I said while I tried to keep my voice and legs steady.
Fluttershy narrowed her eyes as she realized where the blood on my hooves came from.
She screamed at the top of her lungs. “WHY WON’T YOU LET ME LOVE THEM?”
I stepped back. The force of her scream forced my ears back, it was not as powerful as my Medical voice, but it still had a lot of power.
Lyra cast a tranquilizer spell on Fluttershy. She slumped to the floor seconds later.
I left Fluttershy’s room to find a gurney and some ponies that would take it to Observation. A half hour later, Fluttershy was resting peacefully. Several ponies were sent to also clean Fluttershy’s room.
I placed the new toy on the sleeping pegasus mare’s stomach. I knew that the ponies cleaning her room would probably throw away all of her other plush animals. A bit of sorrow entered my heart. Poor Fluttershy, she loved animals and that was almost her downfall. For some reason, I could not remember the details of her case other than Applejack brought her in.
My lapses in remembering things was annoying me. How can I do my work if I can’t remember things? If there was something to kick or strike with my hooves, I would have done it, but there was nothing nearby. I let out a groan to relieve some of my frustration.
Maybe Dr. Whooves... or <i>Time Turner</i>... was right? No, he is a patient here. I know better. The scene in Fluttershy’s room had unnerved me. I need to be calm when I meet my next patient. My legs were still shaking and I was panting a little. That will not do. After a few minutes of standing and breathing slowly, I was able to get some degree of calmness.
I could not go back to total serenity. My next patient, 762, did things to my feelings. Again, I thought about going home but I managed to stop the next panic attack by thinking about duty. My right hoof trembled a bit too much when I knocked on her door.
A calm voice said, “Enter.”
A wave of fear filled me but I pushed it back. I used my telekinesis to open the door and with a lot of unease, I stepped into the room.
Celeste Hopperhauler, daughter of Ivan and Sofia Hopperhauler, gazed at me with warm brown eyes. She was a respected earth pony at the Canterlot mines. Everypony from the offices to the mines had good words to say about her. Even when she was just a filly, she managed to do the work of miner ponies even though her parents did not want her to sully her hooves digging for coal. Not only was she the darling of the workers, her business sense allowed the company to expand and thrive.
She had been obsessed about being a princess for several years before her parents sent her here. If Celestia, um, Celeste had been a bit less focused being a princess, they would have tolerated her antics much longer.
Patient 762 arose from her bed. I could see she had a piece of uneaten pink and white cake on a dish on her nightstand next to her bed. She was a grey earth pony with a light grey tail and mane.
Looking at the kind regard of her eyes, I felt like an unclean creature. Did I not have blood on my hooves? Against my will, I remembered what I had done to her. Celeste had sobbed when I had the orderlies take off her white wings, multicolored mane and horn. Maybe they were too rough with her? I can still see the scars on her sides, back and forehead. Each scar was a witness to my cruelty.
“Luna, my dear Sister, are you okay?” She asked with concern.
Again my mouth was held shut by conflicting emotions. A strange feeling of kinship arose in my heart but it was not alone. Shame followed next. How could a younger sister treat her older sister this way? No, she is not my sister, she is <i>my</i> patient. No, she is not my patient anymore.
Her eyes glanced at my hooves. A look of distaste crossed her face.
I pushed back the emotions, and focused my will. I was...no, am Luna Nightwing, Supervisory Psychiatrist. I must focus on my duties if I am to help my patients.
“There was an incident with a patient,” I replied.
“Is the patient…?” she asked as worry covered her face.
“Yes, the patient is resting. How are you doing?” I said.
“I am fine, thank you, but I worry about you, my sister,” she said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Your eyes are filled with such pain. Do not forget that I love you. I will always love you. One day you will understand and be free!” she replied while walking up to me.
I stepped back.
Celeste trotted up to the wall of her room.
A feeling of foreboding made a chill race down my back. I wanted to say something but I was unsure what.
With a voice full of emotion, she sobbed, “Luna, wake up!” Then she looked at me once more before rearing up on her hind legs and striking the wall with her head.
I was so surprised at what she did, I did not do anything. Then the vision came. The plain gray earth pony was a white Alicorn with purple eyes and a multicolored mane. She was so beautiful! Her brightness was like the rising Sun.
Wings appeared at my sides and my memories? I was not a psychiatrist, I was a Princess! For one brief moment I knew who I was then it faded away.
I was left staring at a dead grey earth pony with a crushed head. Somepony nudged me with a hoof but I barely felt it. Then I was hit by a sleeping spell and I barely felt that too as my mind fell away into darkness.
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Waking
When I awoke from my spell induced slumber, I immediately felt around for a straitjacket or other restraints. There were none. Then I opened my eyes to survey my room. It was larger than a patient’s room. Good, I must be in one of the rooms set aside for visiting doctors.
Wait? I am a doctor? Yes! No? I am the Princess of the Night! I could feel the presence of the moon and it was just rising. I could just reach out and… NO! I am a Psychiatrist and these thoughts are precursors to madness. There are no such things as princesses.
Am I going to have to check myself in like Applejack or Cadence? Conflicting emotions filled my heart, and for a few moments, I could not think clearly. In desperation, I walked to the window and raised my face to the moon’s light. I basked in its soothing cool radiance until I remembered that it had been my cold dusty prison. After that, memories of my exile filled my mind with loneliness and rage.
I tried to counter those feelings with memories of my time as a psychiatrist, but no, there was nothing to find or use. Try as I might, I could not find any memories. When did I graduate? Where did I graduate from? What did I learn? Did I make any friends at the school? I could find nothing that disproved that I was a Princess. More memories rose up, the time the Elements of Harmony were used on me to soothe my rage. I remembered my love for my Sister, Celestia. Celestia, Celeste?
Why am I here? I don’t know but I no longer wanted to stay. How can I leave? I remembered what had happened to the grey pony. Maybe the exit is there? The logic does not make sense, but maybe this is not reality but some sort of strange dream?
I left the room and walked down the quiet empty hall. Somehow, I could feel the exit to the dream. All I had to do was activate it, and I would be out. When I reached the room, I noticed that the door was open. The sharp stink of bleach reached my nose. I sneezed. A few more steps and I could hear the sound of a wall being cleaned.
Inside, Prince Blueblood was washing the blood stains off of the wall. The brush was suspended in his magic.
I saw that he was not having much success in removing the stains.
He turned and looked at me. “I’m sorry Dr. Luna, but I was not able to get more newspapers. The local stores were out. Also Rarity was rather close lipped about her secret project.”
“I would like to study the room to get an idea of the deceased patient’s mental state. Can you give me a few moments?” I said.
Prince nodded then he placed the brush on the floor. With a quick glance at me, he left.
Something about that alarmed me. I don’t know why but I knew he was going to get the orderlies to do something to me. I had to to get away quickly. Even now I could hear in the distance, the clopping hooves of the orderlies coming for me. I looked at the bright red splotch of blood smeared on the wall. Was this my way out? The rest of the room looked sterile and grey.
The hooves were getting closer. I probably just had a minute to do something before they got me. I sighed before rearing back and striking the wall with my head. My vision was filled with a quick glimpse of a garden in the summertime. My head throbbed while blood dripped from my cracked horn. The hooves were at the door. Once they got it opened, somepony could cast a sleeping spell on me again.
No! This time, I must hit the wall with my head as hard as I can. For a second, I did not want to do it...what if I am wrong? Then I would be stuck in this place as a patient, with no magic. They will probably Spellblack my horn.
I looked at the door again. So far, nopony was there yet. This is not real or was it? I had to make a decision soon. Then I remembered sitting on a throne next to my beloved sister. Yes, this was just a terrible dream. I must do what is needed to get out.
My head was throbbing with an agonizing headache, and with a pained sigh, I reared back...
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Waking
I awoke to darkness. Wait. Then I removed my sleeping mask. The warmth of an Equestrian summer gently stroked my fur. A quick glance showed Discord trying to get a tan while my sister, Celestia or ‘Tia was muzzle first in a chocolate cake. I was home and my sister was alive!
One second, I was lounging on my chaise lounge and the next I had my fore hooves wrapped around my dear sister’s neck. Love filled my heart for my sister.
Yesss! I was back home. I squeezed my dear sister’s neck a bit tighter.
Then I heard the voices. My ears stood up straight on my head. At the edge of my hearing, it seemed like some ponies were talking..
“She is not responding to this voltage.” one voice said.
“Okay, lets raise it and see what happens.” The other one said.
“The current voltage should be enough to bring her out, why does it not work?” The first voice said.
“We are dealing with an alicorn, and all bets are off.”
After that, I thought I heard my sister sob.
No!
These were cruel phantasms conjured by my imagination. This was reality. The sleepy buzz of indolent bees, the golden warmth of a summer sun and my sister’s scent. Yes! This was real, not the barely heard voices.
I squeezed my sister’s neck a bit more tightly and forced my face into her multi - colored mane. THIS IS REALITY!
Maybe?