//------------------------------// // Joe // Story: Field Notes from Equestria // by Admiral Biscuit //------------------------------// Field Notes from a Tourist in Equestria Admiral Biscuit When I was a kid, I'd always liked to read stories of adventure. Stories about explorers visiting new and strange lands. It was a great disappointment to learn that there weren't any new lands to be discovered. Mankind had visited every corner of the globe, and the days of boarding a sailing ship and sailing off to some unknown destination were for the past. Other books were fantasy, pure and simple. I suppose that's a lesson every child has to learn, just like how Santa Claus isn't real. But that never stopped me from resenting Mrs. Hawkins. And as it ultimately turned out, Mrs. Hawkins was wrong. • • • I quit my job and sold my house and even though every one of my friends said I was nuts, I didn't care. I'm sure that half the explorers back in the olden days had heard the same thing from their friends. And I have to admit that I had plenty of second thoughts. Plenty of days when I thought that ponies were just a mass hallucination. After the initial hoopla, there didn't seem to be any major changes, and I couldn't help but wonder if that's how people felt back in the old days. Were Italians celebrating in the streets when Columbus returned from the New World, or was it just another little bit of news that didn't affect them much? I don't know. I think that when you're living in history, it's hard to wrap your head around what will ultimately come. • • • It wasn't until I got through the portal that things started to change. On the one side, it was not too much different than any other government building. There were little offices and men and women in uniforms asking me questions, inspecting my luggage, inspecting my documents, and filling out forms. I got to spend the night in a guest room that wasn't much nicer than a prison cell. When I passed through, it was more of the same. The men and women had been replaced by mares and stallions, and of course the architecture and infrastructure in the building was different, but the experience was the same, and after an initial burst of enthusiasm it quickly wore down into tedious boredom. At least the guest room I stayed in on their side was nicer. I remember that night, I looked up at the ceiling for a long time and I thought about all the life security I'd just given up and thought that maybe I'd made a really bad choice. And I wondered how many times Columbus had thought that, as he drifted off to sleep in his bed on the Santa Maria. • • • The next morning, I got one more round of inspections and questions, and then I finally was allowed to cross the gates into Equestria proper, and as I stepped outside and saw pegasi soaring through the air and a small steam train waiting at the platform, I knew it had all been worth it. I felt like a kid again. I was the last person to board—there was nothing on the platform I didn't want to inspect, no motion that I wanted to miss. I had my eyes glued to the windows for the entire journey. It was probably rude; I could have struck up a conversation with any of the other ponies who were sharing my car, but I needed the time for the atmosphere to sink in. When we finally got to Manehattan, I made my way to the street, and got whisked off to my hotel by a stallion pulling a small cart, what I think was probably called a hackney. My room was up on the fifth floor, and it was the kind of room that would have been described in a brochure as "rustic" or perhaps "charming," since it had little else going for it in terms of amenities. Still, the bed was big enough to fit me, and the windows opened onto the street. The bellhop showed me the bathrooms, which were down the hall, and informed me of when meals would be served, if I chose to eat at the hotel, and then he was off with a little skip in his step as a result of the bit coin I'd given him as a tip. I had no intention of spending too much time in my room, so after I'd freshened up a bit, I decided to go out exploring.