//------------------------------//
// No Friendly Drop to Help Me After 
// Story: Rip Off the Wings of a Butterfly 
// by LA Knight 
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The question you should ask is not what was she to me, Luna. The proper question is, what was she to you?

Discord's words reverberated through Luna's skull as she lay in bed that night, staring into the darkness of her chamber as if that would give her some insight into her old friend’s cryptic words. No epiphany emerged from the shadows. No moment of enlightenment found the Night Princess, in waking or in dreams. She woke the next morning near dawn, bleary-eyed, head aching from the questions circling in his mind. Who was Eris, this foal who was somehow connected to Discord and, apparently, to Luna? How had Discord found her? How had he come to care so deeply for her? And care for her he did; Luna couldn't find it in herself to discount her foster brother's visceral reactions whenever Eris came up in conversation. What did the foal have to do with the mysterious Rosedust?

The princess was still pondering all of this as she trudged into the dining hall and slumped onto the bench. Within moments Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Starlight Shimmer had taken spots on either side and across from her. Remaining in a fog of exhaustion, Luna basically ignored the pegasus and pair of unicorns as they filled their plates and began eating. It was only when Rarity and Rainbow Dash both fell silent that Luna realized one of them must have said something to her, and she'd missed it.

"Hey, Princess," Rainbow Dash said, catching the alicorn’s eye. "You gonna train with us this morning?"

She shook her head. After she finished his meal, she needed to speak to Discord again. She'd already reported yesterday's happenings to her sister; now she needed to know more. She couldn't leave things as they were between herself and the draconequus. Like an idiot, she'd lashed out at Discord in attempt to get him to speak, attacking the only two things that seemed to be capable of truly hurting him—the mysterious Rosedust and Eris.

She could only blame it on her tiredness. Discord slept at odd hours but was most communicative during the day—when she was supposed to be asleep. Maintaining a balance between her duties as the Night Princess and her hopes for learning the chaos lord’s secrets was…difficult.

"Twilight will be there," Rarity added, then casually took a sip of wine. Luna frowned at her.

"Where?"

Now all three of her friends were staring at her. As if speaking to a particularly dull foal, Rarity said, "At our sparring session, darling. In the salle. Which we just invited you to."

Luna shook her head. "I can't. I have an important matter to attend to."

There was a long silence. It was Starlight, usually very shy around the Princesses of the Sun and Moon, who finally broke that silence. "You’re going to see Discord." She waited for Luna to cant her head in acknowledgement before adding, "You’ve been visiting him a lot these past few weeks." Luna said nothing, thinking of the illusion of the foal called Eris, and the unknown Rosedust, and Discord's claim that the changelings had imprisoned him. It was not something to share with her friends. Not yet, if ever. Starlight sighed. "I don’t think you can help him, Luna. I don’t think anyone can."

"It’s not fair to Celestia to make her think otherwise," Rarity added softly. Luna shot her a look of glacial sapphire and her friend mumbled an apology, hiding from the princess's ire behind her goblet of wine. Silence fell again. Any attempts at restarting the conversation were feeble, easily shot down with one slashing look from Luna.

At last the alicorn princess decided she could eat no more, and rose from the table. Her friends—three brave ponies who had once been willing to become Discord's friends as well—watched her go. Their gazes were heavy on her back as she left the dining hall.


.


The walk to the dungeon hall two mornings later led the princess down corridors of stone that echoed with her hoofbeats and shaded pathways where early-morning summer sunlight dappled across the floor and briefly warmed her skin. Beyond the arched roofs, she could see the sun still soft and golden with the last kiss of dawn in the sky with its peach and amber clouds, the magnificent work of her talented sister. Birds sang to welcome the new morning. Luna sighed, wondering if Discord missed sunrises, sunsets. He’d had always been fond of the stars, as well; he’d challenged her when she was just a tiny foal to try and make order out of the astronomical chaos he’d created in the sky, and so she had forged constellations. Did he miss being able to gaze up at the star-studded night sky the way he had centuries ago?

From morning light to timeless shadow, Luna stepped into the dungeons, where only torches held back to darkness. With every step the birdsong grew dimmer and dimmer, until it had been silenced all together, leaving only oppressive quiet.

Have you ever been shut up in pitch blackness for so long that you cannot remember the feel of the wind, the song of the sea, the sight of sunlight or moonlight or even the faint glimmer of the stars? Have you any idea what it's like, to be wrapped in silence so absolute that you only have the sound of your heart roaring in your ears and your own screams to listen to?

Did the shadows and the quiet remind Discord of his time in the changelings’ dungeons? Or the time he claimed to have spent, anyway? What had helped him through such terrible times, Luna wondered? She'd asked the day before, and the day before that, only to be ignored. She resolved to ask him again when she arrived at his cell this time. It was Midsummer's Day, the day celebrating her sister; Luna decided she was due for some luck.

But Luna slowed as she approached when she heard a snide voice ask, "Another drawing? Quite the artist, aren't you, Discord?"

Blueblood, Luna thought, rolling her eyes. Didn't her nephew have anything better to do an hour after dawn besides taunt Discord? Tryst with a chambermare or get drunk, for instance? Or pound on somepony in the practice yard? Squaring her shoulders, she picked up the pace.

"I've heard the guards say you're drawing a mare," Blueblood continued to jeer. A jolt of electricity snapped through Luna's body. A mare? Was it Rosedust? "Feeling lonely, are we, little draconequus? Who is she, the mare in your drawings? Your current favorite? Maybe I should pay her a visit; she must be something special if she can hold the interest of a chaos lord this long. What's her name?"

"If you do not stop talking, I will—"

"You'll what?" Blueblood demanded, laughing. "Reach through the bars and kill me? As if you could. And even if you were able to, well…Aunt Luna would really hate you then. And what would Aunt Celestia say? That would be your third attempt on a member of the royal family—or is that fourth? Who's next on your list? Cadence? The flitting brat-foal? What’s her name? Fluffy Farts? Besides, you don't need to answer. I merely wanted to see if you would. I already know your mare's name. Rosedust, wasn't it?"

At that, Luna launched into a gallop just as the sound of something heavy hitting iron bars echoed down the corridor. Luna rounded the corner to see Discord plastered to the grid of ensorcelled steel, lips twisted into a feral snarl, eyes blazing. Only Blueblood's broad, white back and golden blond mane and tail were visible to Luna, but the princess was fairly certain her nephew was sneering.

"Shut up!" Discord yelled. "Shut up!"

"Oh-ho!" Blueblood threw back his head and laughed. "Well, well, well. Don't you remember Aunt Celestia's lessons about sharing, Discord? Or didn’t you get that one before you stabbed our princess in the back?” He spat at Discord’s feet. “I promise not to hurt the silly little slut. I only mean to—"

But Discord rammed the bars again, hard enough that even Blueblood went quiet. Ivory brows knotted, dark mane standing up in wild, chaotic spikes, and shoulders and chest heaving with every ragged breath, Discord spat from between clenched teeth, "Get. Out. You filthy swine, get out!"

"Swine, am I?" Blueblood's voice turned savage. "You treacherous bast—"

"Blueblood!" Luna snapped, imbuing her voice with that regal coldness she’d learned in her youth. Her nephew turned and grinned when he saw Luna, glacier-blue eyes warming slightly, but the grin slipped away when he caught sight of the princess's expression. Blueblood opened his mouth to say something but Luna ruthlessly cut him off. "You will not speak to Discord, or of someone under his protection, with such disrespect."

Clearly flabbergasted, the prince said, "Aunt Luna…he's under house arrest. By Primordia and her daughters, he's in prison."

Icily, Luna said, "Which changes nothing. He is still a prince of the royal household."

"He was adopted centuries ago and he spit on that connection," Blueblood hissed.

"He is my brother, my friend, and under the protection of the four princesses of Equestria, and you will speak to him and of him with respect, or I shall take this matter to Princess Celestia herself," Luna snapped. Wide-eyed, Blueblood offered him a mocking, truncated bow and shoved past her, disdaining to bid her a proper goodbye. Luna didn't care. She didn't know what had possessed her to Blueblood with Celestia’s interference, but the half-insane rage and grief in Discord's eyes had forced Luna to act before she'd actually formed a thought.

Dismissing her nephew for the moment, the princess focused on the chaos lord. Discord's forehead was pressed to the bars; he ignored the needle-pricks of the magic meant to keep him imprisoned. His claws had relaxed from their tense fists. Now they lay palm-down against the window. Discord's breathing had evened out. He no longer panted for breath like a rabid wolf.

"Why?" Discord demanded softly, not looking up at Luna.

"Why what?" Luna replied, voice just as soft.

"Why did you defend me to him?" Because Discord kept his head bent, Luna couldn't quite gauge the new expression twisting his face. "Maintaining unity among the ranks, were you? Except Blueblood is your nephew, your family—your real family. So why?"

A sigh heaved through the princess, then she gestured to a guard for a chaise lounge. She'd made provisions to have one brought last night. Now the guard dragged the comfortable seat to the alicorn, who dropped into it with another sigh. Leaning forward, she studied the draconequus—the bowed head, the slumped shoulders, stringy feathers and fur, the exhaustion in every line of his body. Had Discord been sleeping these last months? It seemed likely that he hadn't, and even a chaos lord needed rest. Seconds ticked by in silence, then minutes. Discord didn't move. Neither did Luna. It was almost like those staring games they'd played when she was a foal, seeing who would blink first. In the end, they both moved at the same time, Luna leaning back as Discord lifted his head.

"I'll make you a bargain, Discord. For every question of yours I answer, you answer one of mine. Deal?" She ignored the pang that always shot through her when she thought of deals…when she thought of the tantebous and how she’d bargained with herself, her power, and created that dark creature.

Thin lips pursed as Discord considered. After a moment, he nodded slowly. "Very well…but it has to be an equal trade. No baring of my soul so you can tell me what you ate for breakfast. It’d probably bore me out of my skull, anyway."

Inclining her head, Luna replied, "Fair enough. Why did I defend you to Blueblood? Because he has no right to attack you in such a way; because no matter what you've done, no matter that Celestia has judged you a traitor for your crimes against Equestria, you don't deserve to be tormented by your own kin; and because you're my friend, my family, and that's what friends and family are supposed to do."

Pushing away from the glass, Discord scoffed. "When will you get it through your thick skull that I'm adopted?"

Unperturbed, Luna asked, "When will you get it through yours that I don't care?"

"Well, then, what about…" A muscle flexed in Discord's jaw, and his claws convulsed into fists before he forced them to relax. "What about…Rosedust? She is no kin of yours. Why should you defend her to Blueblood?"

"Because it is very obvious to me that you cared about her a great deal," Luna said gently, "and Blueblood should respect that, as I do."

This time Discord’s expression was clear as a cloudless sky. "Oh?" He snarled. "Do you?"

"I should not have said what I did before," Luna said. "I was angry. You're very good at provoking me. But then, that's what chaos lords are supposed to do, so I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised."

Discord stared at her for a long moment, then asked, "Are you drunk?"

Startled, Luna blinked. "No. Why?"

"Did that Applejack get you to drink that hard cider again?"

"Get me to…no. Why?"

Long moments of intense scrutiny passed, then amber eyes at last looked away and Discord said wearily, "Why are you here, Luna?"

"Because I promised you I would listen."

A wry chuckle echoed down the corridor as Discord shook his head. "We both know you're incapable of pulling that off. I told you to go away. So why are you here?"

"Because I promised."

They regarded each other for a few moments. Discord stood beside the fireplace now, mismatched arms folded and laid against the side of the fireplace mantel. His face was thin, and paler than ever, his eyes vibrant yellow against his unhealthy, dust-gray fur. There were dark shadows beneath those eyes, firming Luna's conclusion that he hadn't slept, and Luna saw that Discord's claws on his lion’s paw were ragged and torn to the quick, bloodied in places. Scrapes marred the knuckles of his griffon talons. What had he been doing to himself?

"My turn for questions now," Luna said, "unless you have something else you wish to ask." When Discord shook his head, the princess asked, "How did Rosedust die?" Because if Discord had killed her, then there was no point in continuing the conversation; if Discord could kill someone he cared for as deeply as he obviously seemed to care for Rosedust, then he was capable of anything, any treachery.

Dropping his chin to rest atop his forearms, Discord replied in a tight voice, "The changelings killed her. Poison."

"Were you with her?" Luna pressed.

A slow, somber shake of the head as xanthous eyes stared off into the distance, gazing down roads of memory. "No…but I should have been."

Baffled, Luna asked, "Why?"

Squeezing his eyes shut, shifting to grip the mantel tightly with his paw, Discord drew a short, sharp breath. Let it out slowly, as if fighting for control of himself. He bowed his head; the ragged, black mane fell around his face like an inky curtain, obscuring Luna's view of his expression. He rasped, "Why does it matter?"

"Because you feel guilty for not being with her when she died," Luna said gently. "I want to know why." When Discord said nothing, she added, "Do you remember when I was a filly, barely more than a foal, and one of the original Guardians stole your spell book? Ripped out the pages and threw the binding on the midden pile? You remember that; I can see you do." Discord shook his head and rolled his eyes, but when Luna just stared at him, he gave a grudging nod. "You remember how Celestia found you raging through the library and you wouldn't tell her what had happened? You wouldn't explain to Celestia, to anyone…but you spoke to me. You trusted me then."

"I was young," Discord said coolly. "And stupid.”

Anger flashed through the princess, but she swallowed it back—with difficulty. Giving into her anger had pushed Discord away every time. She couldn't afford to let that happen. It seemed as if, despite his reticence, they were making a little more headway. She wouldn't let that progress slip through her hooves.

"I wish you would trust me, Discord."

"Yes, of course I'm going to trust you when you are the reason I'm here in the first place instead of with—" He cut off abruptly, glaring fiercely at the princess. A malevolent spark burned in the depths of poison-yellow eyes.

"Tell me," Luna said softly. "What were you going to say? Who are you supposed to be with? Tell me, Brother."

But Discord shook his head. "I won’t be tricked into baring my soul for your twisted pleasure, little moon. I owe you no answers."

"You promised to answer my questions. I'll forego the second to receive an answer to the first—why do you feel guilty for not being with Rosedust when she died? Because you could have saved her?"

"No," Discord spat. "I couldn't have saved her. You made sure of that."

"Then why—"

"Because I promised her!" Discord suddenly snarled, taking a single shaking step toward Luna. A feverish light burned in his eyes as he cried, "She was afraid to die alone. She was so afraid, and so I promised her, only to be far from her side when she succumbed at last. Because of you! She died, alone and frightened and in pain, because of you!"

"Discord—"

"Do you know what changeling poison does? To a mare? To a foal? To an…" He trailed off and turned away, to slam his fist into the wall. It left a smear of blood and tawny fur on the white stone, but it didn't seem to affect Discord at all. Pressing his claws flat to the wall, he hunched his shoulders and bowed his head, mumbled something so softly under his breath that Luna couldn't hear it.

"Discord…I never meant…"

The draconequus twisted around, eyes blazing, and he fixed her with a hostile look. "I don't care what you meant. That doesn't bring her back. That doesn't bring either of them back! That doesn't erase the fact that Rosedust's last hours were filled with suffering and agony. I was told her death was a hard one, that she died cursing my name with her last breath for betraying the promise I made her. But then, I suppose you're not surprised that I didn't keep my promise. After all, I'm never sincere, am I?"

Luna stared at him, at the way he shuddered, the sweat dampening his forehead and temples, the anguish in his eyes. Suffering and agony…because of Luna, because she'd stopped him from murdering innocent ponies…at least, that's what Discord claimed. Though she wasn't certain of the verity of the details, Luna believed Rosedust had died, and died a hard death, for it to strike Discord so.

"I'm sorry, Discord, for what happened to her," Luna murmured. And she was; surely he could see that. After struggling with the idea that it might not be the best question under the circumstances, Luna finally asked, "Did you love her?" She knew the answer, or was fairly certain she did…but she wanted to hear what Discord would say.

He scoffed, sounding weary again. He leaned against the mantel. "Don't be stupid. Me? In love? With a mere pony? You really are a blithering idiot, Luna."

And yet…the words didn't quite ring so sincerely this time. Or was that lack of sincerity just another ploy of Discord's to manipulate her? Ignoring his hostility—the only way they'd actually have a conversation that lasted more than five minutes that didn't involve curses and shouting—Luna asked, "What were you muttering before?"

"Nothing," Discord snapped, his expression hardening. "A bit of verse that seemed apt." A momentary softness crossed his face. "Rosedust told it to me," he said, as if to himself. "She had a gift for remembering such things."

"Will you not share it with me?"

Discord shot her a look that plainly said she was intruding on some important private recollection with her very stupid question. "Why? It's not important."

"Then why not tell me?"

Shoving off from the mantel, Discord replied, "Because you're wasting my time. But since you'll not cease whining for it like a neglected puppy, I suppose I must indulge you." Staring into the fire, voice empty of any emotion, he recited as if dead, "'What's here? A cup, closed in my true love's hoof? Poison enchanted, I see, hath been her timeless end: O churl! Drunk all, and left…'" There was a hitch in Discord's voice, just the slightest waver, before he concluded, "'And left no friendly drop to help me after?'"

Wondering how to keep Discord talking, Luna murmured, "I didn't know her fate was mixed into the balance. Why didn't you tell me about her?"

Exhausted eyes flicked to her, then away. "It wouldn't have changed anything; you wouldn't have believed me." A pause, then Discord asked in an emotionless voice, "Do you even believe me now?"

"I see how much her death has hurt you."

Verdant eyes drifted shut. "Oh, you see, do you, little moon? You see. Tell me, what do you know of pain, Luna? What have you ever truly lost during the span of your perfect life?"

"For one terrible night and day, I thought Celestia was dead," Luna said coolly, and she thought he saw Discord flinch, almost imperceptibly…but it might have been her imagination. "You told me Celestia was dead when she set out to forge the Elements of Harmony, that the spells had cost her life. You looked me in the eye and lied to me." Discord said nothing, but his expression seemed to soften for a moment, and his eyes when they opened seemed full of sorrow. Acting on instinct, Luna didn't push the moment of softening. She merely asked, keeping her voice as gentle as she could, "And what of the foal, Eris? How did she die?"

Discord's eyes widened and his features twisted as if he'd been stabbed. His talons crept toward his heart before tightening into a fist. He squeezed his eyes shut. For several moments his throat worked convulsively, and he swallowed hard. The color drained from his face and the gray fur and burgundy feathers bristled. Luna had to fight the urge to jump to her hooves and demand if he was all right.

"Poison," Discord choked out, and the misery and hatred saturating that one word struck Luna like a kick to the belly. "The same as her…the same as Rosedust. And for that, when my sentence is ended here, I will hunt down Chrysalis, even if I must sojourn to the ends of the universe, and I will drive my claws through her heartless chest. I'll have her blood, even if I have to crawl over broken glass for it. Even if I have to drink it. Nothing in this universe will stop me from killing her."

Discord locked eyes with Luna and the princess's brow furrowed. Somehow, in the light, Discord’s eyes looked almost the same sickened color of changeling magic. It was there for a moment, a flicker of all-too-familiar cerulean-green, before it faded away, leaving only gold in its wake. Had the princess simply imagined that change? She couldn't be sure. Nonplussed, Luna tried to find something to say, but could think of nothing. She could only stare at the mad gleam of hatred burning in Discord’s gaze before he cleared his expression of all emotion.

With a sigh, the chaos lord moved to the table and sank into his chair. Papers covered the smooth wooden surface of the table, many filled with Discord's handwriting. A few seemed to display unfinished sketches, but they sat at such angles that Luna couldn't decipher them. For several long moments Discord shifted papers to and fro, eyeing them with a strange apathy. Then he held up his pointer-claw as if in warning.

"One question left, Luna," he said tonelessly. "Use it wisely."

Buying time to figure out a good question, Luna sat back and watched as Discord picked up a half-done sketch and studied it with an unearthly intensity. Amber eyes narrowed as they took in every charcoal-etched feature. The princes wished she was in a position to see the drawing but…wait…

"May I see that?" Luna asked, a spark of triumph beginning to grow in her chest. If Discord was drawing the mare who seemed to constantly occupy his thoughts, then at last Luna could put a face to her. But her hopes plummeted when he sneered and denied her. So much for getting her hooves on one of the drawings. Ponderous silence descended once more.

At last, unable to think of anything more pertinent, she asked, "Why did the changelings even have a foal like Eris?"

Discord sighed, shoulders slumping. He dropped the drawing to the table and let his head fall backward against the chair. Closing his eyes, he passed his claws over his face and down his snout, as if attempting to smooth away any telling emotions. Luna merely waited for him to speak. At last Discord said, "If I say this, I want no more questions. I will answer no more questions. Do you hear me? You will leave me in peace."

"As you wish. After this, I'll go. You'll not see me until tomorrow."

"Very well," Discord murmured. "The changelings had Eris because they had Rosedust…and because they'd captured me."