“Guh, that was stupid…” Drifter growled under her breath as she paced back and forth restlessly in one of the many rooms the inn had available. All but one of the lights were out and the curtains were drawn back. The one light that remained on was little more than a pale blue night light designed to simulate the gentle glow and shade of a normal night.
She was so involved in her own mind that Drifter didn’t even notice when Twilight gently pushed the door open, letting a small stripe of orange light run across much of the room’s floor. Twilight saw Drifter pacing and gulped. Even this tiny motion drew Drifter’s attention. She looked to Twilight, her ears laying back almost instantly. She turned away from Twilight and sighed. “...Sorry if I was too harsh back there.” she finally mumbled.
“It’s fine, Drifter,” Twilight consoled gently, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her. “I understand, I think.”
“Maybe, maybe not,” Drifter commented doubtfully before shaking her head. “But it doesn’t matter. We’re not in some contest to see who's blamed themselves for bad things the most.” the hybrid’s eyes locked onto the night light, refusing to meet Twilight’s gaze.
“Of course not…” Twilight said gently before trotting up to Drifter timidly. “But… I guess I’m curious about what you’ve been blaming yourself for?”
“Nothing,” Drifter said instantly, still refusing to look Twilight in the eye. “At least not right now. I figured out how to dodge that bullet centuries ago.”
“Drifter,” Twilight said firmly, finally earning a glance. “...Please don’t lie to me about this. I’m no Applejack, but I’m sure she’d be calling out a lie right now if she were here.”
Drifter winced before shaking her head. “Ah… yeah… Applejack. She would, wouldn’t she? Heh… even with her… issues… she’s still one of the most keenly aware ponies I have ever met.”
“Issues?” Twilight asked, concern for her friend becoming very evident.
“I’ll let her show you when we get back to the Empire, Twilight. For now…” Drifter sat down on her haunches and at last met Twilight’s gaze with her own. “...You’re right, though. I have been, you know, beating myself up a bit… I know I shouldn’t be, I know exactly where all of the blame should go, but...”
“It’s easy to attack yourself when you fail,” Twilight echoed Drifter’s earlier sentiment. Drifter nodded.
“...Princess Luna is my aunt, Twilight, and the last member of my family that I actually care about. The only other one is… well, you know who it is.” Drifter growled out the last part, removing her gauntlet and trying to force her regular claws out of that hoof. All that came out were a few pointed nubs.
“You never fully recovered?” Twilight asked in barely a whisper, a hoof rising to her chest while she, too, fell to her haunches.
“No. He tore these ones out by the roots. Heck, even growing these nubs has been a miracle.” Drifter replied sadly while looking the hoof over. She could still remember quite clearly the white hot agony of having her claws ripped clean out of her hoof as if it were nothing…
“...That’s rough. Your father killed your mother and took away your aunt…”
“Horizon is not my father, Twilight,” Drifter said coldly before closing her eyes and putting her gauntlet back on. “My father died almost a thousand years ago. He was buried in a cemetery in Canterlot, with his wife, my mother, beside him. Horizon is a monster and abomination that I am just unlucky enough to share genetics with.”
“What about Princess Celestia?” Twilight asked, her voice cracking somewhat. It had been twenty years for the rest of the world, but for her? It was still a fairly fresh wound.
“...I can say I understand her a lot better now,” Drifter replied with the tiniest traces of a smile on her face. She stood and trotted over to her saddlebags, which were resting against the far wall. “Here, look at this.”
“Hm?” Twilight stood up and followed Drifter, who was now looking through one of the pouches. With a happy ‘aha!” Drifter procured a birth certificate. Twilight looked it over for several moments. Then her eyes widened. “This is you…” she breathed.
“Yeah. Me. Fresh out of Celestia’s womb. I don’t even think they knew I was half fiend, yet. I mean, the signs are all there, really. The eyes, the ears, the teeth. Even by normal thestral standards I was kind of an oddity.” Drifter replied with a distant look to her eyes.
“How did you get this?” Twilight asked gingerly.
“I found it in Celestia’s private chambers a few weeks after you and Luna were captured. She kept this one copy of my birth certificate, even after all this time. I… I admit, I was struggling just to stay focused at the time. I was distraught over losing you two, doubly so when my initial rescue attempt ended in failure… Everything felt like it had fallen apart around me, like… like I had been in control for all those centuries and then suddenly I… I wasn’t. I wanted something to hold onto. Something to ground me and remind me of something…”
“Remind you of what?” Twilight ventured after several seconds of silence.
“...I needed to remind myself of who I am and where I came from. I kept lying to and telling myself that I shouldn’t have failed so quickly when I faced Horizon for the first time, that I should have been there to help Celestia in Canterlot. I started feeling like… like I had lost my touch, or… I don’t know. It didn’t make any sense how I could go from routine success to complete catastrophe so quickly. This certificate… it reminded me that I may be half fiend, but I am still a pony at my core. I’m not perfect. I make mistakes… I’d put myself on a pedestal and thought I was above such mishaps. Remembering that I’m not…” Drifter made a small choking sound before lowering the certificate. “Remembering that I am still perfectly capable of making mistakes… it stung. It hurt. But I needed to know that so I could let go and focus on the real problem.”
Twilight put a hoof on Drifter’s shoulder in a comforting way, a sympathetic look on her face. “I take it some of that self doubt is still around though, isn’t it?”
Drifter nodded while putting away the birth certificate. “Isn’t that why you came up here after I punched you like that?” she asked before turning to look at Twilight again. “Yes, I still beat myself up every now and then over letting you and Luna run off to fight Horizon alone, or not doing something more to help.”
“You were the one to volunteer to fight Skeintooth, remember?” Twilight ventured cautiously.
“I remember, Twilight, and that was because I can’t hurt Horizon with my body, thanks to his damned genetic manipulation. If I hurt him, it has to be… indirect.” Drifter lifted her gauntlet and let the steel blades concealed within spring free.
“I see…” Twilight said. For several moments, the two sat in silence before it was broken again by Twilight. “Okay… I guess I should know this in advance, seeing as I’m going to be seeing them again before long…”
“What?” Drifter asked, letting her claws back into her gauntlet.
“...Do they- my friends, I mean… do they forgive me? For… for sending them away… breaking my promises?” Twilight asked carefully, her ears folding back.
Drifter smiled reassuringly. “I believe so. I mean, who knows how they’ll respond when they see you again? Plus, I think they’ve already taken most of that anger and bitterness out on me.”
“Huh? Why?”
“I told them that I knew about your intentions to send them back. I… got an earful from all of them and a few bruises from Rainbow Dash,” Drifter said, smirking slightly. “Boy, she was pissed.”
Twilight snickered weakly. “Yeah, that sounds about right…”
Again, the two fell silent. Drifter looked away for a moment. “You know, Twilight… this is nice, in a way. Just sitting here, talking… catching up. We haven’t really talked since you were freed from the stone.”
“Yeah… the same goes for Luna, doesn’t it?” Twilight noted.
“Mhmm,” Drifter hummed out a response before rising to her hooves and stretching a bit. “Maybe I should go fix that, eh?”
“You said it yourself, Drifter; She is your aunt. She’s family. Go spend some time with her before we head out, okay?” Twilight suggested while also standing.
“That sounds like the most relaxing thing I could do all week,” Drifter said before chuckling lightly. “Alright, come on. I think everypony is going to want to know we sorted this all out.”
With that, the two exited the room. For a moment, they went down the hall towards the stairs that would lead them back to the first floor and the common room. Before they reached them, however, Twilight reached out a hoof to bring Drifter to a stop. “Er, Actually, I have a question first.”
“Shoot.” Drifter raised an eyebrow.
“...I’ve been meaning to ask, but, who is this Blackberry pony? I don’t know who he is or where he came from. What’s his story?” Twilight asked, genuinely curious.
Drifter nodded slowly. “I don’t know much about his personal history, but i do know that he was a survivor in the heartlands of Equestria. He has a wife and son who should both be in the Empire right now. He was the one who found you and brought us to you. You can thank him for being free.”
“Oh, alright. I think I’ll go see him, then.” Twilight nodded before the two mares made their way downstairs.