//------------------------------// // 59. // Story: 8-Bit Pony // by Dawn Flower //------------------------------// “Alright,” Twilight started. “We need to come up with a way in which we can cover the most ground of the castle as possible to try and find Nightmare Moon quickly, while at the same time making sure that we all stay together so that you all don’t start your own little adventures that have nothing to do with why we’re here, that take up even more of our time that we can’t afford to waste. “Now, I have several strategies in mind that we can start with, most of which involve…” “Uhhmm, Twilight?” Fighter asked, raising his hand. “Not now, Fighter. I’m trying to explain how we can find Nightmare Moon quickly.” “Oh, okay. I was just going to ask about that pony standing behind you, who looks kind of like a larger and more evil version of Princess Luna, who formed out of a black mist that just came in through the window.” After hearing what Fighter said, Twilight quickly turned on her hooves, and she did indeed see Nightmare Moon standing there, menacingly. Princess Twilight tried her best to approach this situation calmly and hopefully without conflict. “Princess Luna, I…” “Sorry, but Luna’s not here right now. You face Nightmare Moon.” “Call yourself whatever you want, you crazy alicorn bastard!” Twilight snapped. “I have had enough of all the crazy, stupid, asinine, stupid, evil, stupid, unnecessary, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid things that have been going on ever since this whole little adventure started, despite my all but getting down on my knees and begging the world itself to stop be so stupid! Just tell us what your evil plan is so that we can stop you like we usually do, so that we can get back to getting these two back to their own world so that there isn’t even the slightest trace of them left in ours and we can all go back to some semblance of normality! Why did you leave Canterlot Castle when you showed up the first time?” Nightmare Moon simply grinned smugly in response. “If you haven’t realised it yet, then that just means that my plan is working even better than I thought.” “What do you mean by that? Explain yourself. Now.” Twilight demanded. Nightmare Moon’s grin deepened. “You see, Fighter and Black Mage are special, in that they are so stupid and evil, respectively, that they alter the reality of the world around them, making other people stupider and more evil just by them being in the same world as them, and even more so in close proximity. The longer that they remain here, the stronger and more evil I will become, while all of you will start getting stupider and less effective at stopping me, and soon the contagious stupidity and evilness will spread across all of Equestria, infecting everypony, and thus ensuring my victory. “TL;DR: The longer that you draw this out only makes me more powerful and yourselves more ineffective.” “This is bad,” Black Mage spoke up. “She’s using our weakness against us, knowing that we’ll get distracted, so that we can’t beat her quickly.” Thinking over the severity of the situation, Twilight then suddenly realised something and faced Nightmare Moon again. “Wait a minute. If you’re trying to drag this out for as long as possible, then why did you reveal yourself to us just now, when you could have remained hidden and dragged this out even longer?” Nightmare Moon just sneered sinisterly. “Simple: because it changes nothing. Even though I have revealed myself to you, you have already been affected by these two so much that even though I have just informed you of how dire the situation is, you will still just spend all of your time focused on unimportant tripe instead.” “Hey, I take offense to that.” BM interjected. “I don’t do that… let’s talk about it.”