//------------------------------//
// Chapter 5. Celestia Want's Discord Tied to Her Bed, Cost of Leather Accounted For 
// Story: My Little Cartman 
// by Moon Flame 
//------------------------------//

The city of Canterlot was the crown jewel of Equestria and home of the two sisters Celestia and Luna, raiser of the sun and watcher of the night. The city itself was riddled with old streets, filled densely with shops and other welfares. These streets offered a sophisticated every-day life for the ponies living in the town. They all trotted along the pavements, socializing or just enjoying a lonely walk. To the sides of the pavement the houses of Canterlot was towering like a long wall. The main castle was the biggest of all the buildings, its golden roofs with flags piercing the sky offering no contest in this regard. Its white walls glistened due to its slippery surface, causing the castle to shine if you looked at it from specific angles. But despite the light from the warming sun the otherwise cooling window into the throne hall had been tightly shut, preventing the calm and sophisticated discussions inside from reaching ears of unwanted pegasus ponies.

  “FUCK YOU STUPID ALICORN BITCH, THIS IS MY MAGICHIAN HAT!!!” Starswirl the Bearded roared.

  “TAKE YOUR STUPID HAT AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASSHOLE YOU DANCING BROOMSTICK MERLIN PIECE OF SHIT!!!” Princess Lunas face had almost grown black inside her otherwise blue profile. Her alicorn body shook with anger. There was a total of four characters in the room. Princess Celestia was standing beside her throne. She had an unbothered smile on her face while her motherly voice informed.

  “I believe I saw the hat-hanger by the entrance Starswirl.”

Starswirl shook his head.

  “Oh no, did I just succumb to the South Park urges again?”

  “I believe you did Starswirl.” Celestia informed motherly.

  “It is getting worse, isn’t it?” Luna asked worried, having snapped out of her urges.

Spike the dragon was standing beside Luna. His small dragon wings placed on his head had been lowered and his pupils diminished in terror. He quickly snapped out of it, fearing he wouldn’t be a worthy ambassador of princess Twilight Sparkle if he couldn’t pull himself together.

  “It is quite alright sister.” Celestia replied Luna.

  “Yes Luna, our friendship is still going strong.” Starswirl dictated.

  “Yes indeed, even though the shittyness of South Park may be so strong that it breaks the fabric of dimensions, the magic of friendship will always be there to guide us toward understanding.” Celestia said motherly.

  “And now we will spread our magic their world as well, with the arrival of our new show My Little Pony.” Spike said, secretly bracing himself.

  “I only hope that the townsfolk of South Park will see the advertisement that we’ve we put up.” Luna said worried. Her royal face quickly widened into pure alicorn fury. “FUCK YOU STUPID WING! I’M GONNA FLY OUT AND CRASH YOU UP AGAINST A BUILDING YOU ITCHING ASS WIPE!!!” Luna shook her right wing.

  “There is no need to worry sister, I got word from Demandora that the posters have been placed all around South Park.” Celestia informed.

  “Yes.” Spike said while glancing nervously toward Luna. “There is no way the South Park residents are going to miss the advertisement for the show.”

  “How are the production going?” Starswirl asked.

  “From what I’ve heard the first episode is ready to air.” Luna informed.

  “Who is playing who?” Spike asked

  “Nopony is playing. The show is animated by a company named Marsh Bro, owned by a guy named Randy Marsh, I believe he is also doing the voiceover for you Spike. He wanted to do the voiceover for Twilight Sparkle but our agents talked him out of it, barely.” Celestia said.

  “Who is doing the voiceover for her then?” Spike asked.

  “Tara Strong.”

  “Does she sound like her?”

  “You wouldn’t believe it if I told you.”

Spike grabbed his neck.

  “Celestia. I’ve been meaning to ask you, about this Demandora character. I think I remember you mentioning her once.”

Celestia took a glance at her sister. They exchanged looks.

  “I’ll tell you later Spike. For now, we need to focus on bringing down Anabella.”

  “I know you said that she wanted to destroy Equestria, but are we certain that bringing her down is necessary?” Spike asked.

Celestia lowered her head in shame, yet her face twisted in determination.

  “I wish we had better contact with her. But for now, unless she makes a drastic turn in her beliefs, I’m afraid that we don’t have much of a choice.” Celestias voice grew firm. “Anabella has to be removed from power!”





The city of South Park was the shit stain of America and the home of its all the numbers in the alphabet president. It was indeed, with lack of nicer words of putting it, and interesting small town located in the mountains. The police force was all dancing with Hawaiian kilts instead of solving crimes, half the population enjoyed annual anal probes by aliens, the school bullying had become a self-aware endeavour toward nothing more than pure human misery aimed for the weak and minorities. But all this was just every day fodder for the children living in the town. Kyle and Kenny had just passed the cinema to their left when they caught sight of a new poster that had been nailed onto a light pole. All around them the bolstering community of South Park sailed by in their cars and prejudging minds, passing them right now was Craig Tucker and Clyde Donovan.

  “Dude, what is that?” Craig asked.

  “It looks like an advert for a cartoon show.” Clyde said.

The four boys walked up to the poster. The title read in capital letters

  “MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC. There were seven characters on the poster. Almost all of them seemed to be some kind of ponies. They all had cute smiles on their faces. The title had pink glitter jittered around it.

  “Looks like a show for little girls.” Clyde remarked disdainfully.

One of the cute ponies was purple and had wings and a horn, she seemed to be the main character. The others were of varying kinds with either horns, wings or none. One was pink, one had a rainbow coloured mane, one was orange, one was white, one was yellow and… Kyles face twisted in disbelief.

  “Cartman!?”

In-between the purple and the yellow pony one could see Cartmans chubby face peak forth, making some kind of ditty dance move with his arms. Craig’s face widened into a grin.

  “Wa… Wahahahahah!”

Several other boys from the South Park Elementary school walked by not far from them.

  “Hey guys! Look over here, Cartman is starring in a girl’s show!” Craig shouted. Kyles face gradually went from ‘worry of seeing his friend stuck in a foreign land’ into a mean grin. Soon the air was completely swallowed by ten or so boys laughing around the poster. Some of them took photos of it and posted online. Kyles smile twisted into bewilderment while reading the bottom line.

  “Where the hell is Equestria?”

  “Hurmur!” Kenny said.

  “We got to find him Kenny. I bet Demandora knows something.” Kyle tore the poster from the lamp post.

Ever since Stans disappearance Kyle and Kenny had tried to prove Demandoras involvement to the police. So far, their attempts had been unsuccessful, that being trying to snap the chief of police out of his Hula. All they had managed to get out from Demandora was a half-hearted promise that Stan was probably OK. All that aside, Kyle couldn’t wait to see the face of that chubby meat mountain once he found out that the entire school had seen this poster.

Kyle and Kenny were now walking toward Demandoras office. Kyle knocked on the door.

  “Demandora?”

  “Go away.” They heard Demandora answer from inside.

  “We need your help to get to Equestria.” Kyle said it out loud. Only the sound of humble students walking down the corridors could be herd while the silence went. The office door opened. Demandoras angry green eyes glared down at the boys.

  “Come in, and keep your voices down!”

Upon entering the boys was immediately greeted with an office in turmoil. Demandoras table was blurry with papers. The garbage can was filled to the brink with scrupled up papers lying at its side. Demandora didn’t look back at the boys while she went back to whatever she was doing before. Kyle and Kenny walked toward the visitor chair.

  “Don’t bother sitting down!” Demandoras voice was angry and tired.

  “What is going on?” Kyle asked.

  “I will help you.” Demandora said irritatingly while still turning the papers on the table.

  “So, Equestria is a real place?”

  “I said, KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN!” Demandora spelled.

The boys remained silent. Demandora raised her dark-haired profile and pointy nose.

  “I will help you, but then you are gonna have to do something for me.”

  “Hurumph.” Kenny said.

  “But how will we get there?” Kyle asked.

  “Mission first, ways later. You are going to be sent to a world of magic that Hollywood directors would consider setting for clichéd love stories and stereotypical evil lords. Once you’re there you will look up princess Celestia.”

  “Princess Celestia?”

  “Hurm?” Kenny asked.

  “But how will we know how to find her?” Kyle asked. Demandora grumped.

  “She’s the ruler of the land. You are young and enthusiastic, you’ll find a way! Once you’ve found her you will walk up to her, and you will tell her that I accept her offer of fifty bits to keep Discord tied to her bed for a whole day, cost of leather accounted for.”

Kyle and Kenny stared blankly at the middle-aged woman.

  “Who the hell is Discord?” Kyle asked.

  “That is not important! Do you want to find your friend or not?” Demandora asked irritatingly.

Kyle remained silent. Demandora walked past them and approached the door of which they came from. She reached out her hand and locked it. Kyle felt all this talk about disharmony itself tied to Demandoras bed put his earlier worries into context.

  “Eh, what are you doing lady?” Kyle asked.

  “What I am about to show you now is going to make you want to scream so loudly with your annoying little child throats that the whole mountain side will hear you, but I promise you boys that of you utter as much as a vocal I am going to turn you both into wiggling bowling cones, do you understand!?”

  “But…”

  “Do you understand!?”

  “Yes, we understand.” Kyle said.

  “Good.”

Demandora reached down and un-buttoned her skirt. She let it fall down, revealing her half naked body to the boys.

  “Lady, you’re scaring me.” Kyle said.

  “You’re not scared yet, Kyle Broflovski.”

Demandora closed her eyes. There was a small sparkling sound. Slowly, the face of Demandora was surrounded by a dark aura, unnoticeable until she opened her green eyes, their green light standing out even more in the darkness. In front of her forehead a hole opened itself. The pointy edge of a horn slowly protruded out of it. The chin under her mouth widened. It seemed to grab the mouth and pull it downward, forming it into a bulb like shape. Her black hair turned green. Her backside grew bigger while she let herself fall forward and land on her hands.

The skin between her fingers mended. Dark blue hair started growing all over her. Her hands were now as big as her legs and her fingers had completely disappeared. Once they were put down on the wooden floor they made a Ko-Klock sound. On top of her head two long ears now pointed toward the roof. Out from her back a tail wavered. It was the same green colour as her long green mane. The horn of the blue unicorn gave out a green spark. Kyle suddenly realized that this was not a dream. He opened his mouth wide.

  “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Kyle and Kenny’s screams resonated inside a confined space. Demandora rolled her eyes while holding the bubble of silence around the boys. If someone would have happened to stand right beside Demandora one would only have seen Kyles wide open mouth while experiencing complete silence.

The minutes went. Demandora leaned her pony head out behind the curtained window and glanced over South Park. What a pathetic little town it was, not at all like the majestic sight of Canterlot. Demandoras horn lit up. She grabbed the letter that kid with the blue beaner drooled over before. Her green eyes stared dreamy at the footnote.

  I love you. Your one and only. Celestia

Demandora closed her eyes, a slight breath making up what was left of her flinching. She crumpled the piece of paper and threw into in the garbage can. She looked back at the two white bowling cones in the middle of the room. Her horn gave a spark. The cones turned back into Kyle and Kenny.

  “What was… What was?” Kyle panicked. He felt himself rise into the air. He hovered until he stared right into the green eyes of the blue unicorn, her blue horn glowing green.

  “Thanks for reminding me to never have fillies.” Demandora said and smiled. Her smile faded. “Now, keep your mouth shut and be glad that your knowledge of my home world leaves me with more than one choice.”

  “Of course. What are you?” Kyle asked after Demandora had put him down.

  “I am a pony unicorn from the land of Equestria. I was Celestias private…” Demandora paused. Her eyes grew hesitant. “…Humble student, before I was sent here.”

  “Sent here? Why?”

  “That is not important. What’s important is that you find Celestia and tell her that I accept her offer of fifty bits to keep Discord tied to her bed for a whole day, cost of leather accounted for.”

  “Tied to your bed? For what?”

Demandoras face twisted in anger. Her horn started glowing.

  “Never mind, we’ll do as say.” Kyle said rapidly.

  “It’s a code phrase you idiot. You will find your other friend there as well.”

  “You mean Stan?”

  “Yes, although you won’t recognize him other than through his voice.”

  “His voice? Why?”

Kyle never received an answer. He felt a cold breeze coming from behind him. He looked back and saw a forest widen behind an opening portal. He felt himself rise into the air before him and Kenny was tossed into an unknown world.





Kyle turned around and saw that the portal had disappeared. Instead there were only the darkness of the forest. The tree trunks were big and windy, not at all like the mountain trees found around the outskirts of South Park.

  “Kenny, where are we? Do you think this is Equestria?”

  “Humrumpu.” Kenny answered.

Kyle got up on his legs.

  “Come on Kenny. We need to find Cartman and Stan.”

Kyle and Kenny wandered the forest for hours, hoping to find a trace of those colourful ponies that could be seen on the poster. Kyle scanned the area they walked over now. The ground was covered in small wood pieces. He shook, feeling the cold wind burn his skin, his legs aching from all the wandering.

  “Maybe we should rest, try and make a fire?”

Kenny leaned himself against a tree trunk.

  “Huuuuurm.” He sighed.

Kyle reached down and grabbed one of the wood pieces. He had two in his arms already when he held the third one. It started shaking violently. He dropped the wood in panic.

  “What the hell?!”

One by one all the wood pieces in the area started shaking. Some of them had started to slide against the ground by themselves. The pieces moved in on one another and started forming shapes. The shape slowly took the form of a wolf. Two glowing red eyes opened before Kyle heard a growling sound that caused his blood to freeze.

  “What the fuck is that!?” Kyle exclaimed.

  “Hurum!”

  “Kenny, run!”

Kyle and Kenny ran as fast as their child legs could carry them. They could hear howling in the air along with the sound of twigs snapping behind them.

  “Kenny, this way!”

Kyle ran through a patch of bare-twigged bushes. He felt his skin cut. His panicked mind did not bother investigating his wound. Kyle felt his foot jam. He fell forward.

  “Waaaa!” Kyles scream was cut once the ground slammed him in the stomach. He lost his breath. He tried to move but his foot had been jammed under a root.

  “Kenny, leave me.” Kyle managed. Kenny shook his head. “Kenny please, you don’t have a choice!”

Kenny looked up and saw the forest rumble behind Kyle. Kenny picked up a twig from the ground. He tossed it to the right, resulting in a rustling sound. The wolf changed course to see what it was. Kenny sprinted to Kyle, grabbed the root firmly and lifted it, allowing for Kyle to break free. The boys proceeded into the woods.

  “I think we lost him Kenny.”

Kyle heard a growling sound in front of him. His face widened in horror at the sight of another wolf rising on two legs. Kyle heard the other wolf closing in from behind. He felt the hopelessness flush over him. The timber face of the wolf was only inches away from him when there was a sudden blast. The wolf whimpered and broke into pieces. Kyle heard a rustling sound behind him. The red eyes of the wolf Kyle saw earlier came pouncing out from behind the tree line.

  “Move!” A female shouted.

Kyle felt himself being pulled sideways by an invisible force. The wolf landed on the ground and turned his red eyes toward him. Kyle saw a unicorn with a purple mane and light blue stripes appear behind the wolf. She leaned her head forward. A laser sound followed. The wolf whimpered. His body evaporated into pieces while his head went sailing into the woods. The head broke once it hit the ground. Kyle took a minute to catch his breath. His eyes looked wondrously at the beauty in front of him. The coat of the unicorn was the same color as the surface of a diamond. Her purple eyes looked bolstering at him while she spoke modestly.

  “Timber wolfs can be a bit frightening at first but once you know the right spell.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.” Kyle said and turned to Kenny. “And thank you Kenny. I would have been a goner back there if it weren’t for you.”

The unicorn trotted up to the boys. She had a backpack on her.

  “I may not know who you are or what you are, but what are you guys doing out here? Don’t you know how dangerous it can be to travel the Everfree forest alone?” There was a genuine worry in the unicorn’s voice.

  “You’re telling us that?” Kyle asked teasingly. The unicorn laughed.

  “Oh please, I was the private student of the princess herself, I can handle a few timber wolves.”

  “You know the princess?” Kyle asked.

  “Princess Twilight? Yes, I know her.” The unicorn answered.

  “Can you take us to her?” Kyle assumed Celestia was Twilights middle name. The thought of two princesses in one kingdom never hit him. The unicorn smiled approvingly.

  “Sure. What’s your name…Eh, whatever you are?”

  “I’m a human. My name is Kyle, and this is Kenny.”

  “Humprumpu.” Kenny greeted.

The unicorn smiled nervously at Kenny.

  “Ooooookay. Excuse me if I may be being rude but could you possibly say that again? I can’t hear you behind that orange ball thingy.”

  “Hurumpu, prumphururur, prupurum!” Kenny said merrily while closing his eyes. The diamond unicorn looked at Kenny like she was observing a filly taking his first walk.

  “Right, I believe I understand.” The unicorn said rapidly. Kyle immediately noticed that the unicorn had a laid-back personality.

  “What’s your name beauty… I mean…” Kyle blurted without thinking. The unicorn turned her blushing face downward and giggled. What cute little creatures these humans were.

  “Now, that is the first time somepony I just meet have ever said that to me.”

  “Sorry ma’am, didn’t mean to be creepy.” Kyle apologized.

  “We just faced a pack of timber wolves, I think ‘creepy’ was already taken. You can call me beauty if you want to…” The unicorn paused, then added with a squint. “Until it actually becomes creepy. Otherwise, you can call me Starlight Glimmer.”

  “Sounds like the name of a pop band.” Kyle remarked.

  “Hurumpu.” Kenny said.

  “Can you take us to the nearest town Starlight?” Kyle asked.

  “Of course. Just follow me.”

Kyle and Kenny followed Starlight through the woods. She now trotted ahead of them.

  “Wait. Hold on.” Kyle breathed. Starlight turned around. “I need to catch my breath.”

Starlight looked back hesitantly at the two tired humans. She needed to pick up the pace if she wanted to be home in Ponyville before dark, but she realized that the small legs of the humans would never be able to keep up with her trotting. She turned around and walked to them. She let her hooves crumble beside them.

  “Alright. Jump up.”

Kyle and Kenny looked at Starlight like they had just been asked to join Nasa on a space journey.

  “What’s wrong?” Starlight asked.

  “It’s just that…” Kyle hesitated. “I have never ridden a pony before.” Kyle said, secretly hiding the girly reason why he never would have tried it either.

  “The sooner you jump up the sooner you will meet the princess. I promise, I won’t bite you.”

Kyle and Kenny looked at each other. They shrugged and jumped up on the pony’s back.

  “So, where do you guys come from?” Starlight asked the two boys riding her.

  “We come from a place called South Park.”

  “South Park? Have never heard of that place before.”

  “It’s a town in the mountains, it’s in another world from yours. We were sent here by another unicorn.”

  “In another world? Now, that sounds exiting. Tell me more about it.”

  “It is a special place I guess, kind of a shithole. As long as you’re not black I guess it’s a nice place.”

  “Black?”

  “A race thing, depends on who you ask. But we all have our minority marks I guess. I was born into a Jewish family for example, Kenny here was born into a poor family.”

Starlight Glimmer listened with interest. Other than poor, she had no idea whatsoever what either black, Jewish implied. She was just glad to meet somepony who felt comfortable talking about their outsider traits, mostly because she herself had been an outsider before she became Twilights student.

  “So, what’s it like living in South Park?”

  “The days go by. One day you’re at the cinema, the next day you’re home playing video games, the next day you’re saving earth from an alien invasion.”

  “Sounds… “Starlight hesitated. “…Interestingly boring. Tell me more.”

The road was long and time plenty. Starlight kept listening while Kyle told her about some of the adventures that him, Stan, Kenny and Cartman had been on. Starlight knew she was hanging out with a group of friends that included Pinkie Pie, but she could safely say that these were some of the strangest adventures that she had ever heard of.

  “So, this Imagination Land, as you called it, filled with imaginary characters and make-believe characters was attacked by terrorists from your world? And then, to contain the situation, your government ordered a so called nuclear strike on it?” Starlight asked bewildered.

  “Yes, and that set of a worldwide discussion either the creatures living in Imagination Land were actually real and therefore was covered by the same human rights as us. The thing was even brought to international court. If they ruled they weren’t real than the government would have been approved to launch the missile. If they ruled they were real they would have had to stop the launch and I would have to suck Cartmans balls.”

Starlight’s face formed somewhere between interest and bewilderment.

  “You would have to suck his balls?”

  “Yes. Before the Imagination Land thing I made a deal with him that Leprechauns weren’t real, and if they were than I would have to suck his balls.”

  “And, when you say balls, you mean…?”

  “Yes, the thing you feel on your back right now.”

  “That’s an…” Starlight hesitated, stuck in her own vision. “…Interesting chain of events, and thanks for pointing that last part out." Starlight laughed nervously. "So, how did it go?”

Kyle told the rest of the story. The conversation eventually came to be about their friendship.

  “So, this Cartman. I know he’s your friend and all, but based on what you told me about him, he doesn’t seem to be that nice at all.” Starlight said with worry on her face.

  “I know that it might sounds odd, but he is actually our best friend in a way, even though he’s probably the worst kid in South Park.”

  “Why?”

  “I believe it has something to do with us hanging out since kindergartener. He is an asshole, but he is an asshole that we know. And you can always count on his feedback, even if the things he says makes you want to launch his fat ass all the way to Mars sometimes.” Kyle put his hand under his chin and ended rapidly.” In fact, make that all the time.”

  “Wow, that is…” Starlight interrupted herself. Indeed, this was a unique way of looking at friendship. Maybe she should speak to Twilight about it later. Speaking of.

  “What exactly do you want with the princess?” Starlight asked.

Kyle hesitated. He remembered Demandora telling him that that the message he carried was a code phrase. He wasn’t exactly sure how much he should tell this unicorn that he’d just met.

  “We’re carrying a message for her.”

  “Can I ask you what it’s about?” Starlight asked.

  “I don’t know exactly what it is about, but I believe it’s private.” Kyle needed an excuse.

  “Alright, I won’t ask any more questions.” Starlight said, then thought. What could be so private between Twilight and this unicorn that she needs to send two foreign creatures to deliver this message?

The pony ride eventually took the boys into the town of Ponyville. They approached the castle that Starlight informed earlier was Twilights castle. Kyle and Kenny jumped down from Starlight’s back. She knocked her hoof at the front door. There was a sparkling sound. A purple face of joy greeted them behind the opening door.

  “Starlight, nice to see you’re back from your home village!” The purple unicorn exclaimed and raised her wings.

  “Boys, this is Twilight, the princess of friendship.” Starlight informed. Twilight looked down at the boys with a greeting smile. Kyle stepped forward. He bent his knees in front of the purple princess and spoke proudly.

  “Princess Twilight Celestia. I come here with a message from Demandora the unicorn. She would like to inform you that she accepts your offer of fifty bits to keep Discord tied to your bed for a whole day, cost of leather accounted for!”

Discord was the spirit of chaos and a good friend of Fluttershy. Twilights smile swam in hesitation, as if to suddenly burst out. Oh, I DID request that! Starlight looked at her old mentor like she’d just announced that she was a pine tree.





Princess Celestia had her eyes closed, her face hardened in concentration. The silence laid thick inside the throne room, its giant stone pillars being the only thing that offered subdue from its echoing voices.

  “SHIT FACE!” Princess Luna roared.

Lunas echo faded. Celestia pressed her lips tight. She needed to focus, feel the flow of shittyness that only a place like South Park could produce. Beside her Luna, Starswirl the Bearded and Spike had the same concentrating faces. Starswirl opened his mouth wide.

  “HAHRWAHRWAHRWAHRWA!” He blurted, his saliva flying through the air while his beard wavered.

  “Vagina.” Spike’s boyish voice echoed inside the throne room. Celestia could immediately tell that it wasn’t South Park urges.

  “Now, Spike, there is no need to use that language here, this is a formal meeting, after all.” Celestia scolded motherly.

  “Sorry Celestia.”

  “I WILL SHOVE MY HORN SO FAR UPP YOUR ASS!” Luna roared with closed eyes.

  “SUCK MY BROOMSTICK LUNA!” Starswirl did the same.

  “Almost there.” Celestia informed.

  “YOUR MOTHER WAS A WHORE!” Luna screamed.

  “Pony tits.” Spike awed.

  “What did I say Spike?”

  “Sorry princess.”

  “Urg, this is hopeless. We will never know for sure what is going on in South Park this way.” Starswirl sulked.

  “We have to try.” Celestia said determined.

Suddenly the door to the throne room slammed open. A messenger galloped inside.

  “Celestia, I got a message from princess Twilight Sparkle!”

  “Would you mind reading it Spike?” Celestia asked.

The messenger gave the scroll to Spike. The humble dragon opened it and read it out loud.

  “Princess Celestia. I recently got word from a messenger that had been wrongly addressed to me. The messenger informs about a unicorn named Demandora, and that she accepts your offer of fifty bits to keep…” Spike hesitated. He looked at Celestia with bewildered eyes. “… To keep Discord tied to your bed for a whole day, cost of leather accounted for.”

Luna and Celestia looked at each other.

  “So, it is true.” Luna said.

  “I hoped that it wouldn’t come to this!” Celestia exclaimed. Spike’s face dropped in shame. He wavered his arms.

  “Ok, ok. I’m sorry, I get it! I shouldn’t have read this out loud!”

  “No Spike, it’s a code phrase.” Luna informed. Spikes mouth bent sideways.

  “THAT was a code phrase? Who of you thought that up?”

  “She did.” Both Luna and Celestia said at the same time. Spike decided to cut straight to the chase.

  “Fine, but what does the code mean?”

  “It means that the cows are on the brink of…” Starswirl was cut when the door to the throne room suddenly slammed open again. A guard galloped inside.

  “Princess Celestia and Luna, the cows are attacking!”

  “What the fuck.” Celestia said. Luna turned to her sister

  “Wow, did you just feel the South Park urges too sister?”

  “Eh… Yes. Yes, I did.” Celestia said hesitantly while putting on a nervous smile. The events that would soon follow, Celestias choice of words would turn out to be well chosen.

  “Hey ladies, forget about those urges now! How do we stop the cows?!” Spike wailed.

There was a gasp. The guard that recently left was tossed back into the throne room and landed on his back. There were the sound of pointy hooves carrying a heavy load walking toward the room. Celestia and Luna looked growling toward the doorway. Spike’s face twisted in fear.

  “Did somecow say milk?” It was a highly pitched voice carrying a tinge of joking. Its source showed herself in the doorway with milk breast that were so big that they dragged against the floor as she walked. In fact, the huge tits of the princess were almost as big as the rest of her body. Her white coat was dotted with black spots. Her happy smile had an unnerving tinge of unbothered to it.

  “Anabella.” Celestia said darkly.

  “Oh, why those downed faces? Don’t you know that friendship is all about the satisfaction after getting the happy taste of…?” Anabella turned her face and giggled to herself in a crazy manner. “…Milk.” Anabellas cow body was larger than any cow that could be found in Equestria. She had two minuscule wings on her back.

  “Can you even fly with those?” Spike asked. Anabella looked at the dragon, her face forming a happy awe.

  “Oh, look at that cute little baby dragon!”

  “You leave him alone Anabella!” Celestia demanded.

  “Maybe you too should have some milk?” The cow princess offered.

  “Enough of this!” Luna exclaimed and rocketed toward the ceiling. There was a laser sound when her spell went for Anabella.

Anabella jumped forward and landed on her front hooves. She hurled herself backwards and landed on her back hooves, allowing her to throw her massive milk tits up into the air. The spurt from the breasts collided with Lunas spell. Anabella then jumped forward and bounced over the floor using her giant tits. She made a front flip after one bounce, her breasts being thrown like a rope ball through the air. This allowed for her to make the last bounce harder so she could use her wings and fly up to Luna’s flight level. She then hurled herself sideways. There was a smacking sound when Anabella’s giant tits smacked Luna in the face. Luna made a triple back flip as she went tumbling down to the castle floor. Celestia raised her wings while her horn gave a spark. Anabella hovered helplessly mid-air.

  “Oh no, what do I do!? What do I do!?” The cow princess wailed. Her hopeless face quickly gained an evil grin. She raised her front hooves and hurled her backside forward, allowing her to fling her blobbing tits upward. She then slammed her milk breasts with her hooves, creating a spurt. The spurt rocketed Celestia right in the face. Anabella broke free, stretched out her hooves and landed on the castle floor with her breast. This allowed her to bounce forward, do an inverted 360 and land behind Celestia. Celestia turned her milk covered face around and saw Anabellas breasts come toward her. Celestia was tossed halfway across the room and landed belly against belly with Luna. Anabellas breast smeared itself all over the backside of her head, holding her down. Celestia spoke to Luna.

  “Sister…Her milk… It is… so disgusting HURLAAAAAA!” There were the sound of liquid filling up a confined space when Celestia vomited into her sister’s mouth.

  “Friendship is milk!” The cow princess dictated happily.

  “Fuck of Remona!”

Anabella turned around and faced Starswirl the Bearded. He spun his glowing horn around and created a hurricane. The wind caused the banderols inside the throne room to turn sideways, some of them loosened and went flying. Anabella smiled. She jumped up into the air and landed on her back hoof. She then raised her front hooves graciously and went for a ballerina twirl counter clockwise, her huge breasts flinging around as she went.

Starswirl stared in confusion as the happy cow princess turned his attack move into a dance exercise. She spun further and further away from the centre of the hurricane. She now came close to Starswirl. Anabella raised her front hooves as if to take in a round of applause while her huge tits smacked Merlin in the face. The thick milk from her tits caused his beard to slob, resulting in it twirling upward over his face while he went tumbling backwards.

The princess then went for her finishing move. Anabella raised her right leg, allowing her to come out of her twirl. She continued spinning with her body while facing the wall. Her huge tits made smacking sounds when they slammed against the castle floor, aiding her in her Proud Mary journey toward glory. Her breasts were so big that for every time they slammed against the floor they held Anabellas body airborne. Starswirl was using his hooves to turn away the slobby beard from his face when Ms Countryside arrived. Once the 1,5-ton cow arrived she made an inverted 90-degree impossible flip and used her flinging breast to perform an upper cut. Starswirl went on an 820-horizontal side flip with an inverted front flip, all while projectile vomiting, making him look like a fire work that somepony accidentally toppled before launch. Anabella landed perfectly on her hooves.

  “Friendship is milk.” She said while the fire work burned out on the floor. Her cow friends now entered the throne room dressed in armour. “Don’t you agree Spike?” Anabella turned her grinning face toward the shaking dragon. She continued in a dark tone. “Now, tell me, where can I find the pony that calls herself ‘The Princess of Friendship’?”