Journal of Occasional Nonsensicality

by Acryliks


War...

I slapped a nine down on the table.

“Well?” I asked smugly.

“Damn,” Vinyl said under her breath as she laid a four down on the table.

“Thank you!” I said happily, taking her card as well as mine and placing them in a small pile of cards next to me. I pulled another one from my in-hand deck and placed it face down in front of Vinyl.

“One, two, three,” I said, flipping my card and revealing a two. Vinyl did the same, and...

“What?! Are you kidding me? A one?” she exclaimed as I swept up her card again.

War was an intense game of pure, unadulterated skill and coordination.

“Son of a bitch! You’re so god damn lucky!” Vinyl yelled as she kicked the edge of the table.

Okay, maybe not...

“What can I say? It just comes down to skill, really,” I said as I sat back, taking a sip from my water as I did.

“Oh, please. It’s complete chance! Unless... you didn’t shuffle the deck in your favour, did you?” she asked as she leaned forward, glaring into my eyes.

“What? Me? Vinyl, how could you accuse me of something like that?” I asked, placing a hand on my chest to feign accusation.

“Did you?” she pressed. I laughed at this.

“Of course not, that wouldn’t be any fun,” I said as I drew another card from my hand.

“Go,” she said. I flipped my card, flashing a six.

“Yes!” she yelled as she picked up my card, her eight beating me. I chuckled a bit at this.

“This is where the comeback starts!” she proclaimed her upcoming win. She flipped her next card.

“...you’ve got to be kidding me,” she deadpanned. I smiled at the one that she had played. I flipped my card over, and...

“Ah, a tie. You know what that means,” I said as I drew three cards from my deck. She mirrored my movements, picking three cards and placing them face down. I did the same.

“Ready? One, two, three,” I counted, flipping a card with each number called. I quickly counted my cards.

“Seventeen,” I told my opponent.

“...nine. God... AH!” she screamed. I looked to her hand as I cleaned up all of the cards, and realized that she was in fact out of cards. I heard the sound of someone coming down the stairs, and turned to see Octavia coming down.

“Alright you two, I need to go and get-”

“FUCK!” Octavia was cut off by Vinyl screaming profanity as she walked into the kitchen, taking her loss in stride.

“Graceful, no?” I asked as I looked to Octavia. She did a double take at Vinyl’s outburst.

“I used to be completely against Vinyl, or anyone for that matter, cursing out loud, but after having lived with Vinyl for so long, I have honestly become dull to it at this point,” she said blankly.

“THAT’S THE FOURTH TIME IN TWENTY MINUTES!” Vinyl yelled from the kitchen. My smile grew wider.

“What were you two playing?” Octavia asked.

“War, just war,” I told her, taking all of the cards and shuffling them into a neat pile.

“Four times? You won four times?” she asked me.

“Yep. Vinyl doesn’t know the one rule about war,” I said darkly. Octavia glanced at me.

“Oh? And what is that?”

“...war. War never changes,”

...

“What does that even mean?”