The Jerk
Chapter 3
Luna stared in shock as the human brought its hoof (Appendage) down on the changelings head and crushed its skull. He turned around and gave them a questioning look.
"Well, assholes? You going to help me?" Once again she was taken aback by his language. She was about to respond when one of the other ponies spoke up.
"Nopony talks to the princess like that!" he said as he glared at the human.
"Buddy, I honestly don't give a fuck if she is the goddamned president of the shithole that used to be Earth, she can kiss my ass, and I can do whatever the fuck I feel like."
"THAT'S IT!" he yelled, and charged the human. He tried to buck him, but the human did an impossibly fast dodge to the left, and kicked the underside of the ponies stomach. As he did, she heard a sickening crack and a yelp of pain. He fell over clutching his side, trying to breathe.
"Any of you other assholes got a problem with me?" he said, cocking one eyebrow. This time Luna was able to respond first.
"No! We wish no quarrel!" she said in a fast jumble of words.
"That's what I like to hear. Hey, so do you assholes usually just stare at people. or were you raised with manners?" he said addressing the rest of the crowd. They shook their heads no in quick unison.
"Alright, let's get inside. I need a map." and with that, they all proceeded inside. Luna watched as the top heavy looking biped, despite being encased in some sort of white metal armor, gracefully and quickly walked inside. On his side was a small grey rectangular device with a barrel on the end. He was carrying a small pack that hung from his waist, that jingled as he walked. When he reached the door, he stopped and looked at her.
"Hey princess B? Are you coming or would you prefer to stare at my glorious ass all day?" he said. She flinched and blushed as soon as he said that. His only response was to shake his head sigh.
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Fawkes awoke in a dark room surrounded by the kind of horses he had seen earlier. They weren't exactly the same, but the color schemes were pretty much the same. They looked at him with a slight curiosity, but they refrained from making direct eye contact. He heard the door open, and he looked up to see a black creature that had holes in its legs with an insect like body walk in. He pointed to one horse and it instantly began crying. He looked over to it, to see that it was holding a baby in its arms. She cradled the child, and began crawling back in fear. The black insect like creatures horn began to glow, and the baby was wrenched from its grasp.
An evil smile spread over its face as it set the baby pony on the ground and brought its leg up over it. Fawkes saw what was happening and sprang forward with superhuman speed, and punched the insect so hard across the face its jaw broke. The creature took a tumble with the blow, and sprang up and instantly began to restrain him with some wall shackles. He broke out of them with ease, only to have several other pairs wrap around him. There were eventually too many, and he couldn't move. The insect creature fixed its jaw with the 'magic' and began to smile even more sadistically and brought its hoof down on the poor baby.
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I entered the small hut, and the room inside was noticeably larger than the outside gave the appearance of. The room was like a fucking stadium! What? No! How the fuck would I know how they did it? Just shut the fuck up and let me tell you the story! Anyways...Oh yea! So I walked in and this place was FUCKING HUGE! Honestly, it's like the house was built into a mountain and they hollowed it out, only the hut was in the middle of a fucking swamp. I looked around, and saw several of the horses training, sparring, etc. etc.
What most struck me about the size of the hut was the fact that the first time I looked in, it was a small hut with a fire going in the center. I honestly had no idea how they made the place so damn large, so stop asking. All the horses that saw me instantly began going on their guard and taking defensive stances around their 'princess'. I ignored them, and kept following her toward a small alcove at the end of the room. Inside was a white, (I can't believe I am saying this) unicorn that was brooding over several charts. He looked up, saw the princess, saluted, saw me, and charged. I was getting tired of this total bullshit so I activated V.A.T.S. and aimed a paralyzing palm shot at what I assumed would be a nerve bundle.
My gambit payed off and the unicorn fell over mid stride, still frozen in a running position. Unfortunately the other ponies thought I was attacking him, and several lulz were taken from me. {Yes, I went there so STFU}. Several shots were aimed at me, and I received a lot of kicks to the stomach, chest, legs, groin, and arms for this. Thanks to my Winterized T-51b Power Armor (minus the helmet. I never liked that damn thing, too hot, and it obscured my vision too much.) I received little damage beyond the usual 'getting the wind knocked out of me.' I walked away from the crowd, who followed me and continually tried bucking me, and I picked up and still frozen white unicorn. I jabbed him several times, and he breathed in with a great gasp, then passed out. The horses backed away as I dropped him and backed away.
"You assholes gonna keep attacking me? I didn't kill him, I just paralyzed him." I said contempt practically dripping off of my voice.
"But he stopped moving!" shouted one in the crowd.
"DING DING DING! We have a winner! Isn't that was paralyzed means! Wait a minute! Don't tell me that you don't know what dumbass or asshole means? Oh god that would be horrible!"
The 'princess' stepped forward, and spoke to me.
"Excuse me? Do you have a name?" she asked timidly. Despite her demeanor I could sense a person on great power under her timid shell.
"Yea, it's John Johnson. But you can-" I was interrupted by a wave of snickers through the crowd. "Hey assholes? You got a problem with my name?" I pointed to a random horse "What the fuck is your name?" I asked
"Orange Specter!" he said proudly.
"Alright Orange Specter. What the fuck does your name mean?" I asked him.
He was taken off guard, and he began sputtering. "Well it means...well....it...it...-"
"Exactly asshole! Not everybody has a cool name like Orange Specter!" I began dancing around imitating those freaks from point lookout. "Hurr! Look at me I'm Orange Specter! Hurr durr! I like to make fun of people!" I stopped and looked at him and he began to cry. Oh god the sight of a pony crying was worse than people. It was like you took everything cute, and made it cry all at once.
"Hey, hey! It's okay, it's okay! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry." I said as I pulled him into a hug. I pulled out of it and looked him in the eye. "I really am sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry, I was just..." What was I trying to do? I had no freaking idea why I decided to single him out and humiliate him in front of everyone.
"I was being an asshole, and I'm sorry." I said, feeling like I was about to cry. Orange Specter hugged me tighter and cried onto my armor. He suddenly pulled away and ran off. I sat there looking at the orange horse that I just humiliated and I felt sadness again. He was probably just a kid, after all he did look pretty young compared to the others. I got up and faced the princess who was looking at me with a look that could rival president Eden. What? Oh my god, FUCK MAN! Do I have to explain everything to you? It was a joke! You know, because he didn't have any facial ex-. You know what FUCK IT! I give up trying to get humor out of you.
She gave me a look of contempt and I finished my statement from earlier.
"You can call me John." She looked at me in disgust and walked away. Great first impressions and I made a kid cry. This was going swimmingly! I approached her from behind and put my arm on her shoulder.
"Listen I really am so-" I was cut off as she bucked me and I flew across the room. She was A LOT stronger than all the other horses. Not many things can lift, let alone launch a man in full power armor. She walked over to me, and glared.
"What you did was inexcusable. That boy, never knew his father or mother. The only thing they ever gave to him was his name. He was taken away from them at birth." She got up and walked away, but this time I made no move to pursue her. I made not attempt to move from my position. I let my head fell back and I stared at the ceiling thinking about what I had done. According to my Pip-Boy, a full day/night cycle had passed before I got up and began to look for the horse that I had hurt.
All the horses that I saw gave me looks of disgusted contempt and walked away. I approached a brown one with a hourglass tattooed on his ass. He glared at me, but allowed me to speak.
"Uh, hey." I said trying to break the ice.
"What do you want?" he said, not bothering to hide his disgust.
"I want to know where to find Orange Specter."
"Why? So you can embarrass him some more?" He spat out.
"No, so I can make amends. I never wanted to make him cry, I just...I don't know."
"Well, it doesn't matter the kid locked himself in his room. He won't come out, and nopony can reason with him."
"Maybe I can try. I can be really charismatic if I want to." I said hoping to turn the conversation in my favor.
"Oh really? Well why don't you just get someone else to help you." He said.
Quest Accepted: These Asshole Horses!
Objectives:
Find Orange Specter's room.
(Optional) Convince the horse at the bar to help you.
I began to talk to him again, and he looked pretty suspicious.
"So other than that, how are you doing?" I asked.
"Cut the act jerk, I am not going to help you." I furrowed my eyebrows. 'This will be hard' I thought to myself.
"Relax. Looks like you are running low on whiskey there. Let me buy you another glass."
"Well, I won't turn down free alcohol. But I still won't help you!" he replied.
"Oh no doubt." I turned to the bartender.
"Two whiskey shots please."
"Money up front pal." he said. Goddammit.
"Are you sure you don't want to give me a free sample just because I am that likable?"
"Well, if you put it that way...Okay, just one free sample." 'Too easy' I thought again.
"So, what are you anyways?" he asked me as he began to drain his newly acquired alcohol.
"Human, or Homo Sapien if you want to get technical." He sputtered on his drink and began coughing.
"Like, an actual Human?"
"Uhh yea. Why have you heard of us?" I asked already not liking the way this conversation was going.
"Yea, before the reign of Discord you guys used to work alongside ponies."
"Well, what happened to us?" My curiosity now getting the better of me.
"Well, you began to wage war against us because of too many differences. You wanted and independent reign away from us. Eventually all the unicorns pulled away from the war and separated from the Pegasi and Earth Ponies. Without their assistance, we couldn't battle your kind. We were pushed back to our last stronghold, when the unicorns arrived and countered the humans final push. With the time they bought us, they explained they were working on a spell to rid our land of humans forever. They cast the spell, and the humans were removed from our plane of existence."
"Wait, so...what do you mean by 'spell'?"
"Simple, magic."
"But magic doesn't exist. Even in our fucked up world everything is explained by science."
"Oh really? What do you mean by, 'fucked up world'?" He asked and my blood went cold. I had been trying to avoid this subject of conversation.
"Oh well, you know it's nothing really."
"Well you aren't acting like it's nothing. Tell me." I saw an opportunity hop out and wave its arms around at me.
"So, you really want to know eh?"
"Yes."
"Show me where Orange Specters room is."
"Hey, I said no dude. Can you get that through your thick skull?"
"Well, I ain't giving one more ounce of information until you tell me where he is."
He glared at me, and I began to think it wouldn't work. "Fine, follow me." I mentally fist pumped.
Objectives:
(Optional) Convince the horse at the bar to help you: Complete.
(Optional) Follow the horse to Orange Specter's room.
We walked towards a hallway that looked like it came out of Tenpenny Tower except it was cleaner. He led me up several flights of narrow stairs and we finally stopped at a room labeled, 17B.
"Well, here it is. I'm going back to the bar, but you still owe me an explanation." He said as he walked off.
"Wait. What's your name?" I asked before he was out of earshot.
"Doctor Whooves." {Sry if I spelt wrong}
Objectives
(Optional) Follow the horse to Orange Specter's room: Complete
Find Orange Specter's room: Complete
Talk to Orange Specter.
I knocked on the door and, receiving no response, I knocked again. Again, no response.
"Hey kid, it's John again. Listen, I just wanted to say that I am sorry for humiliating you. I feel really bad about what I did, and if you don't want to accept my apology, that's fine, but I just want you to look into my eyes, and know that I am truly sorry."
When no response came again, I crouched down, made sure no ponies (As I found they were called) coming, I expertly picked the lock. It opened to an empty room, and a shattered window, broken appliances, and furniture scattered everywhere. Now I was no detective, but I didn't have to be to realize that someone kidnapped him.
Objectives
Talk to Orange Specter: Complete
Find out where Orange Specter went.
A/N You wanted longer length and all that bullcrap so here it is. Enjoy assholes! =P