Dadonequus Discord (Book 1)

by CrazedLaughter

Chapter 110

The captain held back his own sigh. For what reasons? You didn't know. "Yes my Queen, my apologies for questioning your actions"

Chrysalis gave a quick glance to you before looking at her captain, again, with a most gentle smile. "You are forgiven captain. It was merely a question after all."

She then turns back to you. her gentle smile becoming wider, cuter, as she looks at you with glistening eyes. "Just a little bit, Anon?"

...It was cute. But, dammit. The party. But, she does seem to want to really get into this. You decide a quick crash course would suffice. "How about a quick umm, explanation about friendship and then when I get back we can hang out?"

"...Hrn." She took a moment to think, and then she sat her cute little bugbutt down and saluted. "I'm weady for my lesson, Anon"

This was as cute as it was creepy. And it was only really creepy due to the setting. And the fact that you could swear you were being watched by the entire hive more intently with every moment. You look over to the captain, he looked a little unsure about all this.

"Ok, so you know what love is right?"

Chrysalis nods "Yep!"

"Ok, but… just in case, tell me what you think love is."

Chrysalis waves her hoof at you as she closes her eyes and smiles "Well that's easy, it's a foolish sentiment ponies have when they care deeply about one another."

...Oy. "Um, I wouldn't call it foolish."

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow at you "Then what do you call it?"

...Dammit, this might be a little tougher than you thought. You thought her thinking would match that "Cute" act she was pulling. "It's a feeling… wait, hold on." You just realized something. "Don't you love your "children"? you're always on about how you worry about their survival and stuff."

Chrysalis was stumped by that, she had never considered her feelings as "love". "Hmmmnnn. That's an interesting notion you have Anon..."

In fact, she was so stumped by that that she couldn't retain her form as she started to look around her entire hive. "But to answer that question, I'll just have to say that I love them in my own… special..way. A pony's love is different from our own. Theirs' is full of nonsense, a silly devotion to one another despite the fact that both the lovers in question are no doubt deceptive and secretive. And the same goes for a pony mother's love. Unconditional love? Unearned? Ridiculous..."

Well, you should have figured she couldn't keep up the cute act forever. "You don't love the children you've produced when they are born?"

Chrysalis shook her head "Of course not, when I birth my children I expect them to earn their keep in some way or form. Otherwise they are useless to me. But that's nothing I need to worry about. Of all the children I have birthed, only one had ever failed ALL my expectations." Christ, she was pretty hard hearted about her own hive.

Then again, if it was only ever one. Maybe it's actually not that hard to earn her care. But who was the one? Was it the one who went to the wedding? Well, if it was. At least it looked like he was doing well for himself.

You would ask her about it, but she probably has no idea where he went. Nor was he the point of the discussion...if it even was that particular one. "Well, Chrysalis. We can't be friends if you think that's what love is all about."

Chrysalis flashed an angered look at you for a second. But she caught herself, and smiled, "And why not Anon? Does my way of thinking bother you? One thing I do know about the act of friendship is that friends look past each other's differences. That is true, right?"


Hrn, you had to think about that. She definitely wasn't wrong about that. But, love did play into friendship. Sorta. "...yeah… but. Friends love each other too you know… just not the kind of lovey dovey love that a couple would have."

Chrysalis chuckled "I know it isn't, but you can't expect me to love you as a friend. Not yet anyway. Don't we have to get to know each other first? Hmm?"

...Wait, WAIT. Was she… giving you the lesson? When the fuck did it get turned around? "Yes, but. You… were. You were getting the wrong idea about love. And… ummm"

"Yes, but" She changed back to her filly form "It's my opinion. And even though we have different ideas about love. Friends look past such things. Right?"

...Fucking… shit… "...Right"

Chrysalis looked deeper into your eyes, her smile almost turning more seductive "And you accept my opinion on how frivolous love is, right?"

"...I..guess. But, it's still up to debate.." ...Shit, how the fuck?

"I won't deny you a debate, Anon. But, as long as we can accept each other's opinions, then I'm happy. Oh so very happy!" She acted giddy, floated up, and clapped her little hooves.

...Right... "W-well, I'm glad you're happy. I er-..." You didn't know what else to say.

She looked down upon you as she hovered. Then she started giggling. "Nothing to say, Anon? I guess I'm just a quick learner. You can go now, though I'd LOVE to talk with you when you're done doing whatever you were doing."

You were still silent, stunned. What happened? What the fuck just happened? "...Erm..yeah.."

...You were so… confused. You thought this was going to be showing her real quick that her thinking was wrong. And… then… that happened. It was like she scripted everything, down to her reactions.

You just stood there.

She tilted her head in confusion. "Anon, are you ok? I thought you needed to go somewhere."

You were stupefied, you were thing to come up with a coherent thought. "… yeah… I'll..just… go..and erm… come back later.."

Chrysalis giggled again "Ok! That was lots of fun, Anon! I hope next time is just as fun!"


"Er… yeah..erm… you take care. Chrysalis.."

Chrysalis zipped down and nuzzled her head under yours "You too Anon, come realback soon!"

You didn't nuzzle back. You didn't know what happened. you just turn around, and head back up the stairs. None of that made sense to you. You could only hear Chrysalis's giggling as you head up the stairs. You thought you had her when she noticeably got angry for that split second. Did she even get angry? Or was it an itch of some sort? Because now she was giggling at you like a little schoolgirl.

You step out from the basement, and close the trapdoor. You go to the gravity stairs, but you were so unfocused, you couldn't manifest them properly.

...Something about that… didn't seem right to you. Did she just play you? Or did she take charge of the conversation and royally buttfuck you? You should have easily been able to pop off an obvious friendship lesson on her. And yet, it seemed it was so obvious that she turned things around on you. And what's worse, it was about accepting other's opinions. Geez, Anon. Fucking christ. Something so minuscule and yet still mind blowing.

Discord suddenly poofed next to you as he was straightening up his orange bow tie, he was overdressed for the occasion. With the suit, cane, and top hat. Seems he really grew attached to that outfit. "Ahhh, Anon. There you are. Are you ready for the party yet?"

...Right..the party. "Er..yeah, I just sort of. I'm… having a little bit of a moment."

"Hmmm?" Discord looked down at you as he pulled his bow tie tightly "What happened? Are you having a fashion crisis? Because I can tell you right now, that you are wearing absolutely nothing."

You suddenly have an epiphany as you slap your hoof to your face. "Dammit! She IS messing with me!"

"Hrnn?" Discord was confused by your sudden outburst "Who is messing wit-oh… wait." Discord started to smirk "Having trouble with your little mission Anon?"

Oh no, now he was gonna start. You slowly look up at him, cringing. "Don't, the party is about to start and the last thing I need is you chastising me."

Discord sighed "Very well, I suppose I could let this one slide. But I do have some advice that could put you on equal level with her"

You doubted it, he was probably going to suggest something silly that you couldn't do without the horn. "What?"

"Tell her what you actually are, what the plan is, and..OH OH! Start telling her things that you shouldn't know. Like her song from the season two finale. You'll have her absolutely shocked. Then you can make up anything you want afterwards and have her fear you. How does that sound?" Discord smiled at you happily, He was thinking to himself how fun that could be. How he could probably do it himself. But you doing it would be more effective.


"........." You were speechless, you were utterly UTTERLY speechless. He just went straight for that. ""

Then Discord's smile slowly turned into a stern, hard, look. "You already told her.....didn't you?"

"I..." Goddammit, it wasn't that you were afraid to mention it. It was the fucking fact that HE suggested it.

Discord was rubbing his temples, he looked very agitated with you. "You had the advantage. And you somehow ruined it, and now you're having trouble with her. Anon, Anon, Anon. I could not be more disappointed in you than I am right now."

"Ah… ah… D-discord. I.."

Discord was noticing just how dumbfounded you were. Discord then smirked, seeing an opportunity to blow your mind. "Oh, you must be so frightened and confused right now. "Oh no, Discord is going to kill me, and yet. Why would he even suggest such a thing, he must have been joking", Oh… but you'd be wrong if you were thinking that. You were thinking that, weren't you?"

You say nothing, your mind was racing. You thought you could mention this to him AFTER the party. Hell, you should be able to handle it right now. But now being in the moment itself. It was fucking terrifying.

"Silent hmmm?" Discord put his paw on you, he could feel you shaking in fear and worry. "Ohhhh, you must think I would even send you home over this. I could...."



Discord once again, pulling out a newspaper, whaps you on your head. "Bad Anon, Bad! Seriously, what am I going to do with you when you can keep it together over something so simple."

...WHAT?! "SO SIMPLE!? I TOLD HER OUR SECRET DISCORD! YOU AREN'T PISSED AT ME?! I..I..I broke your trust....I-I thought I could mess with her a little and..."

Discord shrugged "Ehhhh, that's fine. Like I said, I'm just disappointed you didn't play it up more. Now..." He whaps you again "How many times do I have to hit you with this thing?"

You were barely even feeling it. Everything just felt… so damn wrong. " can you not be angry at me? I fucked everything up..."

"You did?" Discord looked left and right, acting confused "How so?"

"I..." You told her, that’s all you had. That you told her. "I let her know our secret"

"Yes… and?"


"Anon, What do you think is going to happen? That she's going to use the truth to tell everypony? Or eventually manipulate you with going with whatever she tells you in some insidious plot to conquer Equestria? Or perhaps use it to break our friendship? Oh, that would be quite an evil plan… if I cared. But I don't, and do you know why that is?"

...You didn't. You were too mind blasted to figure it out.

"It's really quite simple. If she tells the truth, I will most likely be forced to send you back, I will get a very very long talking to, and she will be sealed into Tartarus with no chance of escape. At least for the usual thousand years anyway. If she's smart, which is what I'm going all in on, she won't do anything with whatever you told her. Understand?"

...That, sounded right. You accepted that rational point blank. If only because you were so empty headed right now. "I-I do but..I'm just. I mean. I-"

"Yes, you're very surprised. Anon, I'm not Twilight. I'm not going to get angry over something like this. If you actually thought ahead a little more you might have realized that her knowing the truth means absolutely nothing. The only thing you have to worry about is the party. Now, are you going to bounce back from this or..." Discord holds up the newspaper and shakes it in front of you "...Am I going to have to whap you again?"

You raise your hoof and knock the newspaper away from his talons. "Dammit… I'm not a dog!" That didn't stop Discord though, he instantly produced another newspaper and whapped you.


And he whaps you again.


And again.


You rush towards him and bite his dragon like leg.

But he doesn't even react to your bite. No, he just detaches his leg and holds it up as you hang from it with your teeth. "Feeling better?"

You realize you weren't really biting him. But if you let go, you'd fall right to the floor pretty hard.

You can't answer either.

Discord puts you a little higher as he produces your saddlebag and puts it around your back. "There we are, and hrnnn..." Discord grabs one of your hooves and inspects it. It was a little dirty. "Well, that won't do."

While you were hanging on with your mouth, he put your hoof in a magically produced tiny tub of warm water, and then began to give you a… rather relaxing hooficure. He also started talking more effeminately. "Oh Anon, you juuuuuuuust wouldn't believe the gossip going around Equestria these days. I mean really darling, Diamond Dogs actually sharing their diamonds? How utterly absurd."

And you just hung on with your teeth. Feeling your little hoof be gently massaged, cleaned, and managed without the ability to do anything about it… though… Discord was oddly… very good at this.

"Oh and those DREEEAAADDFFULLL parasprites, once they get attached to you they never leave. And then, before you know it, they eat you out of house and home and you’re out on the street. Such little pests they are.."

You could now feel all the same motions on all four of your hooves… it was bliss. It was so relaxing that you simply entered a near euphoric state… until it made you forget you were hanging on to his leg, causing you to let go. But as you fall, a pillow appears right under you. Catching you with it's softness.

Despite the fright. You still felt oddly relaxed. You looked up at Discord. Not knowing how to feel once again. But you didn't feel prone to anger anymore at this point. You could still feel a gentle tingling at the tips of your hooves and in the center of the frogs.

"Feel better?" Discord asked, fluttering his eyes at you.

You cuddle into the pillow just a little, reluctant to answer. "..........yes."

"Are you ready to party?"

You sigh, you couldn't muster any more anger and demand him to apologize. You felt fuzzy.


"You sure? You're not going to worry about this? Because I'd focus your energy on two things. Rethinking your approach to our royal pest of a guest and getting down! Come on, we got a party to get to!"

You roll on your back, and look up at Discord. "So, everything is ok?"

Discord nods "Everything is ok. So relax, put on a smile, and let's get going."

You slowly stand up and take a breath, with the help of the forced hooficure. . You felt a lot better now. Especially since Discord learning that you told Chrysalis didn't end with you being tossed against the wall. You were lucky he was so understanding. Especially about your anger spurts.

Geez, even after coming to terms with how good he treated you. You just come into more situations to really cement that in."...Thanks Discord, I really needed that."

Discord gently gave you a pat on the head. "That's good Anon, you're welcome. Now.." Discord holds up a candy towards you, and then gently puts it on your nose "Want a treat?"

You sigh, you were going to take the candy and toss it back at him… but it had a scent of cherry. You take it and pop it in your mouth, tasted good.

You then stare at Discord, realizing you DID just take the "treat". "...Just because I took it doesn't make me a dog"

Discord raises his talons to snap you both away. "Whatever you say Brutus"

And with a snap, you both disappear.