“—key poke.”
“Mrrrgffff...”
Something soft is poking me. “Pokey poke,” a familiar feminine voice says. The voice giggles before poking me again.
I take a sharp breath, my closed eye twitching. “I swear, you poke me one more time, I'm gonna—”
She pokes me again.
I quickly and angrily open my eyes, quickly stand up, the dried-up mud breaking off of me, and I angrily turn to face—
I blink in surprise.
The yellow pegasus mare giggles, retracting her extended wing to her side. “Hee hee.” She smiles a warm smile, her long, pink mane almost covering one of her eyes. “Good morning, mister grumpy.”
I sit down, dumbstruck.
It's Fluttershy. It's freaking Fluttershy!
...I honestly thought she was a tree in this universe.
For some odd reason, she squees, her folded wings fluttering on her sides. “Oh, goodness. Am I really that pretty to have made you speechless?”
I, uh, what?
She turns around, her long mane and tail swishing with her graceful motion. “Well, you're not bad yourself, handsome.” She winks at me.
Ooooooookay. I do not like this version of Fluttershy.
“A little dirty, but that's okay,” she says with a sly smile. “I like getting dirty, too.”
At all.
Purring, she suddenly leans closer, eyes half-lidded.
I gulp and lean back.
She leans even closer.
I lean back further—oh shiet, there's a tree right behind me. I close my eyes and turn my face away from her, whimpering.
“Aww, what's the matter?” I can sense her predatory smile as she whispers right to my ear: “I promise I won't bite ... much.”
“NOPE!” I quickly shove her away—she has a very soft fur—and march ... somewhere ... anywhere. “Nope! Nope! Bye!”
“You don't know where you're going, do you?”
“No thanks to you,” I reply with a grunt.
Fluttershy has decided to follow me wherever I go, and I'm powerless to stop her. Not for the lack of trying, but with her wings, and with her seductive way of talking, there's barely anything I can do to shoo her away.
I stop and sigh, feeling like I've passed this tree three times now.
To be fair, the trees around here do look the same if you don't look hard enough...
Anyway, how long was I walking since I woke up anyway?
I turn to the hovering pegasus beside me. “Hey, Navi.”
She blinks at me. “That's not—”
“Be helpful for once and tell me where Storm Forest is.”
She frowns at me. She sighs. “I already miss that stallion from earlier who could barely talk or move when I woke him up.”
I roll my eyes. “And I already miss that grumpy deer who guided me to the unicorns with no problem at all.”
She crosses her hooves and throws a ‘hmph!’ as she looks away from me.
I shake my head and move on. My ears twitch, hearing the pegasus' gentle wing flaps. “Why are you even following me, anyway?”
“Oh, I'm just waiting for you to get tired so I can finally get my prey,” is her quick reply.
“I was asleep earlier.”
“It's more fun to play with someone who's awake,” she says with a wink.
I look away. And no, I am not blushing. “A-are there no stallions in cloud land for you to—?”
“HA!”
Her reaction startles me.
“The only reason I stayed there for so long is because I felt bad for each and every one of them.” She sounds so smug. “They finish so fast, even with multiple of them, they can't ever satisfy me.”
I was originally planning to rate this crazy adventure of mine as teen when I get the chance of writing everything on a fanfiction site, but goddamnit Fluttershy.
She flies a little bit ahead of me, turns around to fully face me and says—
—aaaaaand I'm gonna try my best to ignore her, else I'll be forced to rate this adventure of mine as mature, and I'm not comfortable with that.
“—but after I saw that red and muscular and handsome earth pony stallion, I knew he was going to be the one,” Fluttershy is still going... She sighs a very happy and longing sigh. “Oh, how I miss his touch and his d—”
“DID YOU KNOW THAT THE SUN IS A GIANT BALL OF GAS BURNING BILLIONS AND BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY?!”
She blinks at me, and then arches an eyebrow. “...deep voice.”
Oh.
Wait... This is my chance! “...AND DID YOU KNOW THAT HE'S GONNA BE MAKING ANOTHER DELIVERY TO THE WINGED PONIES TODAY?!”
...huh. I didn't know that a pony's eyes can open that much. She quickly grabs my shoulders, shoving me back a little. “Are you sure?! You're not shitting me, right?!”
I blink. “Wow. Watch your language, girl.”
She hovers back with a frown. “I've said a lot of nasties not too long ago, and you're just now telling me that?”
“I may or may not have ignored you.”
“Whatever,” she shakes her head before putting on a hopeful smile, the very same that I'm used to seeing back when she's inside the monitor screen. “Is he really going to be there?”
Ooooh how I hate to lie. “Did I stutter?”
She blinks.
I roll my eyes. “I mean, yes, he is.”
“YES!” She punches the air and quickly zooms toward a direction, probably towards the pegasi's cloud land.
Wow, that worked, huh? I shake my head and walk after her.
She's gonna be sooooo angry when she finds out there's no trade going on.