It was like any other day for Rainbow Dash. She woke up, ate breakfast, and attended to her weather duties. After that it was very boring for her. She had nothing to do!
"Uuuuugh!" Rainbow groned out loud, "So bored! But where to go when you're bored?" The cyan pegasus said.
"I can pull some pranks! No i did that yesterday. I could go to Pinkies! No, i don't want to bake anything today." Rainbow Dash thought.
Then it struck her. No literally it struck her. A butterfly hit her in the face while she was flying and not paying attention.
"I COULD GO TO FLUTTETSHY'S!" Dash said triumphantly.
Quickly, she raced to the shy mare's cottage. Then she saw her walking with Discord and some other...."thing".
Her first thought was that Discord was trying to play a trick on Fluttershy. But then she realised that he would never do that to his wifu.
"IS THAT THING GOING TO HURT FLUTTERSHY.....and Discord!" She thought' "Well not on this pony's watch."
She then attacked the place of his body that didn't seem to be covered in muscles.....
Meanwhile, on the ground.......
I walked on the path leading to Ponyville....and food. We were about 5 minutes away from Fluttershy's cottage when i saw something out of the corner of my eye.
Before I could react, I felt a very sharp pain in my groin "AHHHHHHH!!" I screamed, my voice raiseing a couple of octives.
"YES!! I GOT HIM!" A rainbow maned pegasus said before i couldn't here any thing at all.
I felt bile rise in my throat. And here I thought I had a cast iron stomach aftet that ride on the landing craft. But nope. I puked up any of the remaining food I had in my gut.
After about 2 minutes of pukeing the slop the cooks (if you want to call them that) fed me, I started to hear what the ponies in front of me were saying.
"Dude, you okay" Asked the bitch that hit me.
"Oh I've had worst," I growled, "Hey Discord, can you do me a favor and hold my arms for me?" I asked politely.
"Ummm sure, but why?" He asked.
"Oh you'll see" I said with a smirk.
With that Discord took hold of the my arms. I to a deep breath and, mustering all the curse words i could think of, said "YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH, I'M GOING TO PULL THAT RAINBOW MISH-MASH YOU CALL A MAIN RIGHT OUT OF YOU SKULL AND STRANGLE YOU WITH IT!! YOU STUPID BITCH, YOU FILTHY SLUT I'LL TEACH YOU TO FUCK WITH ME!!" All the while with me pulling at Discord's restraints.
I was catching my breath, with everypony (and Discord) starring at me with stuned expressions on there face. Poor Fluttershy looked like she was about to cry.
"Dude.....what's you're problem?" Rainbow bitch said.
"My problem.....MY PROBLEM?! MY PROBLEM IS THAT YOU JUST KICKED ME IN THE DICK ASS WIPE!!" I screamed.
"You're....what?" Big blue asked.
"MY PENIS!" I yelled.
"Oh.....OH. Well....you didn't have to say all those awful things to me." Dick butt said.
"AND WHAT IF I RAMED MY FOOT INTO YOU OVARIES, HUH?!" I said, in a blind rage.
"....."
"Thats what I thought. Pull that shit again and i do all mentioned things I said i would do. Got it?" I sneered.
She noded dully, still a little stuned.
"Good. Now....I apologize." I said, softening a bit.
"What?!" Rainbow asked, stunned.
"Well I guess I said a few things I'm not proud of....don't take this as a friend request." I said.
"Apology excepted?" She said.
"Good. But now that the only food that was in my gut is in a puddle on the ground, and if I don't get something in me soon I'll get grouchy. And trust me, you don't want to se THAT side of me. So....shall we."
"O-Okay," Fluttershy piped up.
"Okay then let's get moving," I said.
And we then went to the local dinner, like the characters from the Wizard of Oz, exept not as happy go lucky. Little did i know, the dinner was owned by the worst kind of pony.... a unicorn supremacist.
We walked into the little dinner, me even more hungry than I was after pukeing up any food I had eaten. I noticed I was getting looks of 'The fuck is that thing?', from the customers and workers. One unicorn gave me a particularity..... How do I put this? 'oh god kill it!'
That particular unicorn walked up to me and said "Excuse me, but we do not allow pets in this dinner." He said, a look of disgust on his face.
"I'm no pet buddy. I'm a human." I put out my hand for him to shake.
He recoiled and said "Get away from me you brute. You need to be put in a cage somewhere." He chuckled at his own bad joke.
"That's not very nice." Fluttershy said with a frown.
"Oh I'm sorry, did I offended you."
"Yes you did. Now apologise right now." Fluttershy said with a stern look on her face.
"Oh or what? You'll talk me to death." He said, with the most shit eating grin I've ever seen in my life.
"No. I'll transform you into a base ball, and score a home run." Discord chimed in.
"O-oh. Discord. Didn't see you there. I apologise Mr Ho-man." He said with a terrified look on his face.
"It's fine." I said with a smile.
He began to trot away, when i just heard him say "Mindless ape." Under his breath.
"Hey I heard that!" I said.
"And I hope you did you stupid fool!" I then proceeded to throw him into a wall, noticing how light these ponys are.
I returned to my booth, where Rainbow Dash was about to loose her shit laughing. "OH MY CELESTIA, I CANT BREATH." She said between laughter.
Even Discord and Fluttershy seemed amused. "Yes, it was pretty funny." Discord said.
"Yeah. That meanie deserved it." Fluttershy said.
"Well, it wasn't that great. But it wad pretty great." While I said this, I looked at the menu. He ordered a salad with blue chesse dressing and a water.
After I fnished my salad, we all walked out of the dinner. I asked Fluttershy where we should go next. She said "I think we should go to Ponyville and meet some more of my friends." She said with a smile.
And so we went in the direction of Ponyville, and I questioned who we were going to meet next......