Ponies the RPG
Session 1 transcript.
Part 2 of 3
Transcript resumed.
“Our story begins with Twilight. She's reading an ancient tome of mystical knowledge in the garden of the main palace. It details a legend about the two royal sisters- how the youngest gave in to jealousy and anger, and became bent on conquest. As the evil Nightmare Moon, she attacked her older sister, only to be defeated using these ancient artifacts known as the Elements of Harmony.”
“Pfft!”
…
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Ray!”
…
“It's just- that name is lame.”
“The Elements of Harmony?”
“Yeah!”
…
“I liked it...”…
“Er- I think it's nice.”
…
“I suppose it is a welcome change from 'Korthogg the Blood Slayer' and stuff like that.”
“Tyra, your last character was literally named 'Hellfucker'.”
“That was an awesome name!”
“Ray!”
It is here the scribe wishes to remind audiences that a PG-13 movie is allowed one full usage of the F-word before rating 'R'. This story is rated Teen, and should be allowed one curse such as that before becoming 'Mature'. All future examples shall be replaced with the word 'hug' instead. Actual examples of the word hug shall remain unchanged.
“Can I just get back to the story?”
“I'd like that.”
“Okay. For Fleur's sake.”
“Fine.”
“Right. So the older princess of the sun used the Elements of Harmony to kick her little sister's arse and then banished her to the moon. Forever.
“Twilight finishes reading-”
“Hmm. The Elements sound like something I'd have come across in my past research.”
“Roll a mental check.”
(dice roll)
“12? You can remember hearing about the Elements, but you can't remember where.”
“I rush back to my lab to try and figure out where I heard about the Elements.”
“On your way, you run into a couple of old friends. They try to tell you about a party-”
“I ignore them and head for my lab.”“Oh- all right. Um-”
(shuffling papers)
“Your lab is also a library. Inside, your assistant, Sadie- Spike the Dragonborn- has just finished tidying up.”
“I rush in and call out for her- him.”
“The door hits Spike. Roll for potential damage.”
“One.”
“Lucky. Dragons are tough. Spike is only slightly dazed, though the present he was carrying has been ruined.”
“Present?”
“For the party. It's... not important.”
“Okay. I search the library for information on the Elements of Harmony.”
“Roll.”
“Eight.”
“No dice- er, so to speak. Spike?”
(dice roll)
“I find the book she's looking for.”
“Thanks!”“It says you need to look up 'The Mare In The Moon'. So you go over to your giant encyclopedia and read a snippet about the legend, which is a prophecy. It tells of an evil imprisoned on the moon that will be freed on the night before the longest day of the year- that's tomorrow.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, well- I send word of my discovery to the princess!”
“How?”
“By- Spike can teleport stuff?”
“Yeah, that's my special ability.”
“I have him write a letter and teleport it to the princess.”“Okay. A minute passes. Then Spike belches out a reply.”
“Gross. What does it say?”
“It says- Dear Twilight, I love you. You're my favorite student.”
“Wait, the princess is her teacher?”“Yes, Abby, now shush.”
“No, I agree. What?”
“The princess is Twilight's teacher! She's an immortal demigoddess, why can't she teach?”
…
“How does she have the time?”…
“Just- shaddup.”
…
“Whatever. The letter goes on to say that Twilight needs to stop being such a NEET and go make some friends.”
“But I'm doing research, I'm learning-”“She's sending your to a small town that you can barely see if you look from your library's balcony over the edge of the mountain city.”
“I'm in a building, in a city, built on a mountain, and I can't see the town?”“Barely.”
…
“Shit.”“Yep. Time to pack up.”
“I roll to stay behind.”“No.”
“I roll.”(dice rolls)
“Shit.”
“Critical fail. Not only are you going, you rush out so fast that you don't even tell anybody, and you take no luggage.”“What? But-”
“Critical. Fail.”“Uugh.”
“Right. So you're going to Blandsville to help organize for their Summer Sun Celebration- the longest day is tomorrow, remember. Once you arrive, the first person you meet is-”
(shuffling papers)
“Pinkie Pie. Diane, roll for reaction.”
(rolls)
“Yay!”
“Pinkie screams in excitement and runs away. Twilight is confused.”
…
“I've been sent to this town to organize the party, that's what I'm going to do. Come on, Spike.”“Okay. I've still got the letter, right?”
“Yes.”
“That should have everything we need to know in it. I guess... let's visit Abby, first.”
…
“Okay. The two of you head out to Sweet Apple Acres, the largest apple farm in the land. Run by the Apple Family. You meet Applejack right away.”
“I greet her enthusiastically.”
“How enthusiastically?”
“I just about take her arm off.”
“Sure. Then what?”
“I call out the rest of the family to show off the food we're making for the celebration.”
“Twilight, they ask you to stay for lunch.”“No!”
…
“My little sister Applebloom makes them puppy-dog eyes at you.”
“Roll for willpower.”
“2, shit.”…
“You stay and eat everything they put in front of you. After, you slowly make your way back from the outskirts of the town.”
“That's when I fly right into her!”
…
“Roll for damage.”
“I'm fine.”
“Me too.”“Me three!”
“Great. Rainbow Dash has just crashed into Twilight, but no one is hurt.”
“Now I show off for her.”
“Wait- is your character trying to romance my character?”
“I wasn't thinking of that, but I guess it does look that way...”
…
“I'm cool with it if you are.”
…
“Let's just move on. I introduce myself and apologize for messing her up.”
“I demand to know why she isn't doing her job.”
“Ouch. Okay, I take it back. Here's where I show off.”
“How?”
“I clear the skies of clouds in ten seconds flat.”
“Roll.”
(dice rolls)
…
“Huh. How 'bout that.”
“Like I said. Ten seconds flat.”
“Well, with the sky clear, I guess Twilight can move on.”
…
“Yeah. Um. After I get over the surprise, I head for the town hall.”
“There you meet Rarity, the beautiful mare in charge of decorations.”
“Beautiful?”
“Of course, darlings. Belle means beautiful.”“I roll for seduction.”
…
“What the hell?”
“Pardon me?”
“Geez, Sadie.”
“What? Spike's male. He's old enough, right?”
“Er- yes. Technically.”
“Great. I roll.”(rolls)
…
“Oh.”
“Three? Ouch.”
“Sorry, Sadie. Spike takes one look at Rarity and falls head over heals. Unfortunately, he's so mesmerized that he doesn't say a word the whole time. She'll remember him as being vaguely cute.”
“Serves you right!”…
“Right. Well, Twilight talks to Rarity and complements the decorations.”
“They are a delight, aren't they?”
“Mmm.”
“I try to give her a makeover.”
“What?”
“We don't have time for this. Twilight, roll for escape.”(dice rolls)
…
“Okay, I run away while Rarity is looking at outfits, and move on to the last item.”
…
…
“Oh! Is it me?”
“I walk up to Fluttershy as she's training some birds to sing a grand entrance song.”(dice rolls)
…
“You scare all the birds away.”
“You also scare me. So I don't talk to you.”
“Well if Fluttershy doesn't talk to me, I walk away. Come on, Spike.”
“I roll perception.”(rolls)
…
“You see Spike just as he and Twilight are leaving.”
“I've never seen a baby dragon! I rush over to talk to him, because he's a small animal.”
“What? No! Spike is fearsome dragonborn.”“Maybe, but he's also young. The youngest- sorry Rainbow.”
(grumbling)
…
“I talk to Spike about dragon things.”“Well I walk away with him.”
“I follow.”
…
“Whatever. We reach the library, where we're going to be staying.”
“Oh- okay. I should go, I guess.”“There's a party in the library!”
“What?”
“Surprise!”
“Pinkie, what are you-”
“While Twilight was out seeing the town, I spent the day organizing a surprise party to welcome her! And now the library is full of people talking and dancing to music and eating-”
…
“Nope! Nope nope nope! Twilight is not doing this.”
“Roll for incompetency.”
…
“Ah, crap.”
“Sorry. Zero.”“Nuts.”
(rolls)
…
“Mother-hugger!”
“You allow yourself to be pushed around by the party. Then, you try to get a drink and accidentally pour yourself a shot of pure Tabasco sauce, which you drink. You run off crying and take shelter in the bedroom upstairs.”…
“Why does the library have a bedroom? And an upstairs?”
“Ray, for the last time-”
“Whatever.”…
“Spike stays up dancing because he saw Rarity out there.”“Sadie!”
“What? He just wants to talk to her.”
(sigh)
…
“The night goes on. As morning gets nearer, Twilight fails to sleep. She whines about not getting to do research, but does nothing to shove the others out of the library. Finally, Spike comes to retrieve her for the party.”“I don't want to go.”
“Too bad. Everyone goes to the town hall. There, the mayor announces that Princess Celestia will soon appear and raise the sun. The curtains are drawn- and she's not there!”
(everyone fake gasps)
(Suri chuckles)
“Yeah. So, she's missing.”
“I roll perception.”
(rolls)
…
“You see some bluish fog creeping around the room. Seconds later, the fog comes together on the balcony in the shape of- Nightmare Moon!
(Suri speaks as Nightmare Moon)
“Oh, my beloved subjects. It's been so long since I've seen your precious little sun-loving faces...”
“Whoa. Good voice.”“Thanks. Now, don't interrupt.
…
“Why, am I not royal enough for you? Don't you know who I am? Does my crown no longer count, now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years? Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?”
“I did. But the princess didn't listen to me.”
“Well well well. Someone who remembers me. Then you also know why I'm here.”…
…
“Did we ever state that?”
…
“Um- crap, no. Okay, so, she's going to make it nighttime forever.”
“That doesn't sound so bad.”“Everything will eventually wither and die.”
…
“But isn't this place magical?”“Well- yes...”
…
“So what does it matter?”
“And isn't magic stronger at night, anyway?”
“Look, I think you're missing the point-”“I say, let her make it nighttime!”
“I agree! Nighttime parties are more fun, anyway.”“Girls-”
“All the nocturnal animals will be so happy! And I know the diurnal ones will get used to it.”“Girls.”
“Shoot, we're up before dawn on the farm most days anyway. Working in the dark should be easy.”
“Girls!”
…
...
“It's a bad thing. She's evil.”…
“Okay. Whatever.”“Great. Now, where was I... Oh.
“Remember this day, little peasants, for it was your last. From this moment forth, the night. Will last. Forever!”
(evil laugh)
This seemed like a good stopping place. I have to take a nap before I continue.