Ponies the RPG
Session 1 transcript.
Part 1 of 3
Recording starts.
“Is it working? Are we recording?”
“I think so...”
“Move over, you're in my elbow room.”
“Can somebody lend me some dice, I left mine at home.”
“Ouch! Really, Bee?”
“I'm sorry, Ray, but we can't all wear our hair as short as yours.”
“You could.”
“Yeah!”
“D-Diane! Please put the scissors down!”
“Pfft. Party pooper.”
(door opens)
“Okay, okay. Everyone calm down.”
(shuffling)
(scraping noises)
…
“Is that a digital recorder?”
“Uh-huh.”
…
“Why?”
“I thought it would be fun.”
(deep inhale)
“Ooookay. Look, we're starting a new campaign today. Everybody got their character sheets?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Yep!”
“Oh yeah.”
“Okay, so everyone's good.”
“Um- I forgot my dice.”
“Crap. Who can lend Fleur some dice?”
“I've got an extra set.”
“Prepared as ever, Tyra. Are we good now?”
“I think so.”
“Great. Lets go around the table and introduce our characters. Sadie, you start.”
“Okay, so, I'm a young dragonborn, but my egg was taken and I wasn't hatched until I was in the regular world, so now I'm, I dunno, servant class or something.”
…
“What kind of breath?”
“It teleports small objects.”
“What, like rocks?”
“Um- I guess?”
“Right. Sounds okay.”
“I'm a mage-type.”
“Tyra, you were a mage last time.”
“Your point?”…
“Okay, but if you achieve god-hood again, I'm switching out. You'll be the DM, and I'll play my character.”
“What character?”
“I'm not telling.”
“Hrumph. Well, my mage has been studying magic her whole life, and doesn't really get people. She's kind of got a 'must save the world' complex.”
…
“Yeah, I'm gonna have to nerf that.”
“What? How?”
“Hmm. How about... how about if, every turn, I roll a d10 to see if you get inflicted by bouts of incompetency?”
“Lemme guess, and then I have to roll to see how bad it is?”“Only if I come up zeroes.”
“Ooh, ooh! I've read this story before-”
“Shut it, Diane.”
“Nyeah!”“Can we please act our ages?”
…
“What about it, Tyra?”
(grumbling)
“Okay, sure.”
“Me next!”
“Um-I think it's my turn.”“Go ahead, Fleur.”
“My, um, character, is very shy.”
…
“Okay...”
“And, um, she really likes animals...”…
“Anything else?”…
“Okay, Bella, you're up.”
“Gladly. My character runs a fashion empire! She started-”
This part of the session will be cut out, as Bella spent a long time describing the life of her character. More than half an hour. A break was called. The group ordered a pizza.
Much later:
“-And now she and her wondrous clothing are recognized world-wide!”
…
…
“Yeah, I'm not writing all that down.”
“Oh, come on!”
“What? That was like, fifty pages of material.”
“But- but-”
“I'm not doing that.”
“You must.”
“No.”
“Ah, come on, Suri. It was a pretty good backstory.”
“It was practically a novel. Plus, it would make her character way older than most of the others. I'm all for party differences, but I was kind of hoping to make all your characters be friends.”
“My character doesn't have time for friends. She's too busy studying.”
“Dammit, Tyra, it's called character development!”
…
(grumbling)
“Sorry. Look, Bella, appreciate all the thought. But can we, I dunno, cut it down? Or maybe just pick a spot earlier on in her life to make the 'present'?”
“I suppose...”
“There was this part in here where she was working in a small town-”
“Thanks, Abby. That sounds like a great spot.”
“Now is it my turn?”
(sigh)
“Yes, Diane.”
“Great! So, close your eyes. Look deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep into your mind. Picture this:”
…
“I'm a baker.”
…
…
“Seriously?”
“Whaaaaat?”
“Come on guys, I can't do all the work.”
…
“What if she's a clown?”“Oh, my. Clowns are scary.”
“No way, they go to birthday parties and stuff. That can be her thing. She bakes for parties, and then crashes the parties or something.”
“That sounds fun!”
“What if she plans the parties?”
“A party-planning baker-clown?”
“I love it!”
“Fine. Just- Abby?”
“I'm a farmer, and I live outside of the town. Me and my siblings live with our grandma. And I've got a big family. One of those that's spread all over the place and goes back ages.”“Sounds great. How many siblings?”
“Uh- A brother and a sister, I guess. One of each sounds good. Like our parents loved each other, but weren't a couple a horn-dogs.”
“You said 'were'. Are your parents dead?”
…
“Let's leave that open.”
“Right. That just leaves- Ray?”
“Saving the best for last?”
“I'd like to play the game today...”
“Fine. I'm a flier. I'm the fastest around, and I'm in charge of the magical weather.”
“Hang on- the fastest. That would mean a possibly infinitely high speed stat. You can't do that.”…
“Gimme the dice.”
“Shit.”“Gimme.”
(shuffling)
(dice rolled on table)
“Ha!”
“No way!”
“Holy crap!”
“Amazing.”
…
“Okay. Whatever dice-god you bribed, it's working.”
When asked about the incident, Suri declared that Rayanna had thrown three nat 20's at once. This scribe remains skeptical, but there is no evidence to refute the claim.
“So, the fastest flier.”
“Oh yeah. Hang on- check the rulebook. Isn't there some legend about fliers with superspeed?”
…“Yes...”
“I want-”
“Fine! But that's for later. Is there anything else to add before we start the story?”
“I'm trying to join this elite flying squadron. Only the best of the best can join.”“And why isn't your character in it yet, Miss Fastest Flier?”
“Because you wouldn't allow it for one.”
“Damn right!”
…
“And for two, my character's still pretty young. I'd say maybe even the youngest here.”…
“Fair enough. Okay, I think we're ready to start. Let's roll for play order and-”
“Whoops!”
“Tyra, what- Oh.”
“Sorry.”
“Shit, can she re-roll?”
“No.”
“I'm sorry.”
“Again?”
“Darn it!”
“I believe I should have a chance at being the main character.”
“Sorry, guys. But she rolled it fair and square. Okay, Tyra- Twilight. Looks like you're our protagonist.”
…
(shuffling)
…
…
“Okay. Everyone ready?”
(noises of affirmation)
“Okay. So, our story begins...”
Transcript interrupted. The scribe requires a break.