Tainted Silver

by Bluecatcinema

Hazards Ahead

A couple of days after Eclipse's accident, Sterling joined the family for breakfast.

"Morning, all." He smiled.

"Mornin' Sterling!" Big Red grinned.

"Hi, Sterling." Globe beamed. "Sleep well?"

"Good morning, Sterling." Cherry said curtly.

"Hey." Huckleberry nodded.

"Morning." Eclipse declared.

"Hi, Sterling." Globe beamed. "Sleep well?"

"Like a log, kid." Sterling chuckled.

It was satisfying for Sterling to know that he had finally gotten every member of the household to accept him (or at least to tolerate his existence). It would make his remaining days there go that much more smoothly.

'Wouldn't want those guys thinking badly of me after I'm gone.' He thought. 'But I guess it will make the farewells a little tough...'

"Isn't this great?" Big Red grinned. "All of us, havin' breakfast together. It's like yer a real part a' the family, Sterling!"

"Thanks, Red." Sterling nodded. "I appreciate the sentiment. And I'm ready to get to work today."

"That's a pity." Big Red frowned. "'Cuz work ain't scheduled fer today."

"It's not?" Sterling frowned.

"Nope." Big Red shook his head. "Around this time a' year, most a' the cherry trees have been cleared. An' since one afternoon a' buckin' won't make much of a difference, me an' the boys are goin' campin' fer a day or two."

"Camping, huh?" Sterling mused.

"It's really fun." Globe smiled. "We go fishing, roast marshmallows, and look at the stars when night falls."

"You ever been camping, Sterling?" Huckleberry asked.

"Not in the... traditional sense." Sterling shrugged. "There have been times when I've had to sleep out in the open, but it wasn't half as fun as what you guys do."

"Well, then maybe ya need tah enjoy the real campin' experience." Big Red chuckled. "Why don'tchya come along with us?"

"Oh, I don't want to butt in on your family trip..." Sterling said awkwardly.

"If ya ask me, yer already family." Big Red grinned. "An' it'd be fun tah have ya with us. Right, boys?"

"Yeah!" Globe nodded.

"One more won't hurt." Huckleberry declared. "Especially if it means less work for me..."

"Eh, it's your call." Eclipse shrugged. "I wasn't a fan of camping to begin with. But it might just be an acquired taste."

"Are you certain you'll be okay, Eclipse?" Cherry asked. "You're still recovering from that tree falling on you."

"I'll be fine, mom." Eclipse assured. "Not gonna let a broken leg keep me from having fun."

"I like your spirit, kid." Sterling grinned. "Maybe I will come along... Unless you'd like some company, Cherry?"

"Thank you, but I'll be okay." Cherry smiled. "While you boys are away, I'll have time to prepare for this year's baking contest."

"Then it's settled." Big Red grinned. "We're all goin' campin'!"

"Good thing we have a spare tent." Huckleberry smiled.

"This is great!" Globe smiled. "We're gonna have so much fun!" He suddenly stood up. "I just have to head into town, and... take care of something first."

"You do that, kid." Sterling smiled, knowing full well that Globe was probably intending to bring some extra food for Bolero so he would be well-fed during his absence.

"Don't forget to bring a spare crutch, Eclipse." Cherry declared.

"I won't, mom." Eclipse nodded.

That afternoon, Sterling, Big Red and the boys departed the homestead.

"So, where exactly will we be setting up camp?" Sterling asked.

"Jest this li'l valley outside a' town." Big Red answered.

"It's where we always go." Globe revealed. "It's a great place. We first went there not long after pa took us in."

"Yeah, good times." Eclipse smiled.

"You didn't exactly enjoy yourself the first time, remember?" Huckleberry smirked.

"That was then." Eclipse scoffed. "Quit livin' in the past..."

Sterling picked up an odd smell coming form Big Red's saddlebags.

"Ugh, what is that?" He gagged.

"Don't ya worry 'bout that." Big Red chuckled. "That's jest some Stink Weed. Helps ward off the Cactus Coyotes."

"I can see why." Sterling held his nose. "Or should I say, smell..."

"Don't knock it." Huckleberry declared. "That stuff's saved our hides more than once."

"You're not exactly filling me with confidence here, kid." Sterling frowned. "If I'd known Cactus Coyotes would be an issue, I might not have come along."

"Relax, Sterling." Globe smiled. "We've been camping out here a bunch of times, and each time, we came back without a scratch on us."

"Bottom line: don't be a wimp." Eclipse smirked. "I was just starting to respect you. Don't want to lose that respect, do ya?"

"Point taken." Sterling rolled his eyes.

Shortly after, they arrived at the valley. It had patches of lush green grass, and a lake running through it.

"So, whattaya think?" Big Red asked.

"Not bad." Sterling admitted. "Definitely not a place I wouldn't mind spending the night in."

"Glad tah hear it." Big Red smiled. "Now, let's get set up."

The boys, Big Red and Sterling all set up their tents. Sterling was a little rusty, since it had been a while since he'd last set up a tent, but succeeded in the end.

'Not pretty, but it'll do the job.' Sterling thought.

Once that was done, Sterling saw that the boys and Big Red had set out to enjoy the area. Big Red and Globe watched the local plant life, while Huckleberry looked over some flowers, planning to bring some back to Prairie.

It was Eclipse's actions that intrigued Sterling the most; The young Griffon was gazing into the creek.

"Whatchya doin', kid?" He asked as he walked over. "Watchin' the fishes?"

"Something like that." Eclipse answered, never taking his eyes off the creek.

Suddenly, Eclipse thrust his talons into the water, pulling out a fish.

"Whoa." Sterling gaped. "Nice move."

"Big Red taught me a few tricks." Eclipse smiled.

"Lucky you." Sterling mused.

"Wanna give it a try?" Eclipse asked.

"No thanks." Sterling snorted. "Fish aren't really my favorite creatures."

"Come on, try it." Eclipse threw the fish at Sterling. "Catch!"

"Urgh!" Sterling juggled the fish between his hooves, finally dropping it back in the creek.

"Not bad for a first try." Eclipse smirked.

"Real funny, kid." Sterling pouted.

"If it helps, you did better at hanging on to the fish than I did the first time." Eclipse admitted.

"Oh, really?" Sterling grinned.

"...Though I wasn't really trying back then." Eclipse declared. "So let's say you broke even."

"I can live with that." Sterling shrugged. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get this fish stench off my hooves. Maybe that stink weed will help..."

As night fell, Big Red set up a campfire, and the group started roasting marshmallows. Globe was roasting three at once, perfectly cooking them.

"Somepony's an old pro at this." Sterling chuckled.

"I've had a lot of practice." Globe grinned.

"You ever roast marshmallows when you were roughing it?" Huckleberry asked.

"Not much." Sterling bit into his own, slightly mushy, marshmallow. "I just ate what I could scrounge."

"We all know that feeling." Eclipse mused.

"But now, ya all got it better." Big Red noted.

"All thanks to you, Red." Sterling replied. "You took us all in without a second thought. Takes a special kind of pony to do that."

"Eh, Ah'm jest a stallion, doin' what he knows is right." Big Red said humbly.

After they finished their marshmallows, the campers looked up into the sky, at the many stars shining above.

"Now that's a view." Sterling admitted.

"One I never get tired of." Huckleberry added.

"My favorite part of our trips." Globe smiled.

"Apart from the food?" Eclipse joked.

"Funny." Globe rolled his eyes.

"That's the great thing about camping under the stars." Big Red chuckled. "Gettin' tah look at the stars."

Not long after, they all got into their tents, ready to sleep.

"Night, Sterling." Big Red declared.

"Yeah, night." Eclipse added.

"Night." Huckleberry smiled.

"See you tomorrow morning!" Globe beamed.

"Night, fellas." Sterling chuckled.

As Sterling climbed into his sleeping bag, he reflected on how lucky he was to met a family like Big Red's.

'This is one nice family.' He thought. 'Kinda reminds me of this other family I met a while back…’ He then grimaced, glancing at his left hoof, ’Minus the crap that went down that day...'

Years ago...

A few weeks after the encounter with Easel, Sterling was in his quarters, reading. In accordance with Loveless's wishes, he was seeking out as much information on Nightcrawlers as possible before starting work on his project, turning to the archives within the Infinity’s lower chambers to find all he can on the subjects of Nightcrawlers.

There wasn’t much to find, given that Nightcrawlers, let alone Maelstroms, were rare as they come, and, as Loveless stated, Flatfoot had made off with a good chunk of the research. However, Sterling was able to extract some interesting information. He also made a point to look at news articles revolving around ‘unusual instances’.

As he did his studying of both materials, he came across an article from some years ago: there was a attempted assault on a mare by a stallion in Flankaster. It seemed like your usual attempted assault case, but what was interesting was that the stallion in question was thwarted by what the mare described as a "Thestral in sunglasses" and how he seem to use smoke to choke the offender unconscious. What was even more interesting was the Thestral reportedly had "black wisps" coming from his eyes.

'How about that.' He thought, as he jotted down some notes. 'Able to use smoke as a weapon… and that could just be a fraction of his actual power. Imagine if we could get that kind of power...'

There was a knock at the door.

"Hold on." Sterling put down the newspaper.

Sterling opened the door to find Loveless and Ricochet outside.

"Good morning, Sterling." Loveless declared.

"Hey, Loveless." Sterling grinned.

“Whaddup, Sterling, my pony!” Ricochet whooped.

“Heh, hey, Ricochet.” Sterling smirked.

Loveless took note of Sterling's research. "Hard at work, I see?"

"That's right." Sterling nodded. "It's been slow going, but I think I've found some good stuff. Of course, it would be easier if that Flatfoot guy hadn't taken all his research with him when he jumped ship."

“Yes, that is a shame.” Loveless admitted, “Not many ponies exist in this organization that knows dark magic extensively as he did.”

“Well,  if you need help, bro, I know a couple of guys who might know the stuff.” Ricochet offered, “How ‘bout that Tropics chick? I hear she’s a whiz in that dark magic stuff.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Sterling cringed, “After what happened with Jetstream, I don’t think Tropics would be open to the idea of helping one of his friends.”

"In that case, your options are even more limited." Loveless sighed.

"Tell me about it." Sterling groaned. "But I'm not giving up. I managed to find one or two good notes in here, and I'm not gonna stop now."

"That's the spirit, Sterling." Loveless smiled. "Here, I got you some food, courtesy of Ignite." A panel on Loveless's chair opened, and a claw carrying a bag of haybugers emerged.

"Thanks, Loveless." Sterling smiled, eagerly biting into one. "You're the best."

"So I keep hearing." Loveless grinned, “But bringing you food isn’t the only reason we came here.”

“Oh?” Sterling looked up, biting into his second burger.

“Yeah, we’re kinda needed in the Coils.” Ricochet rubbed the back of his head, “Father said it was urgent.

"Duty calls..." Sterling sighed.

"Don't worry, your work will still be there when you get back." Loveless grinned.

Taking a moment to put away the documents and finish his food, Sterling joined his comrades outside the room.

"Okay, ready to roll." He nodded.

"Sweet." Ricochet grinned. "Right this way, bro."

Once they reached the Coils, they found Doc, Solomon and Father waiting for them. They were gathered around a table, a radio in front of them.

"What's up?" Sterling asked.

"There is a priority message for the three of you." Father announced. "Gridlock, proceed."

"Ricochet, you there?" Gridlock's voice came out of the radio. In the background, there was the sound of fighting.

"Yep, I'm here, bro." Ricochet nodded.

"Are Sterling and Loveless with you?" Harlhooves's voice asked.

"Yes, we are." Loveless answered. "What's the matter?"

“Yeah, it sounds like you’re in a warzone.” Sterling frowned.

“...Actually, we’re in Saddleberia.” Harlhooves declared, “Me, Gridlock, and Nalik were sent here to infiltrate this group of criminal masterminds. It was supposed to be a simple assignment…”

“Until Nalik bucked up and blew our cover!” Gridlock snarled, “Now, those clowns are coming after us!"

“Where’s Nalik now?” Loveless asked.

Suddenly, the familiar scream of the racist prince blurted out.

"Don't kill me!" He screeched, the sound of rapid hoofsteps in the background. "I'm too handsome to die!"

“Who else but Nalik, am I right?” Solomon snorted.

“You got that right, Solomon.” Harlhooves admitted, as he let out a huff, a sound of a broken bone and screaming following, “But thanks to Nalik’s blunder, we’re going to be stuck here for a couple of days, cleaning up the mess. So we wish to ask a favor of Sterling and Loveless.”

“What’s the favor?” Sterling inquired.

“It’s nothing too difficult.” Harlhooves assured, “Recently, Gridlock and I have been observing a research group who have been developing some sort serum that dealt with biological regeneration.”

"Regeneration?" Sterling asked "As in-?"

"Growing back body parts?" Gridlock finished. "Something like that. We need something to help get us out of our funk over our failed project, so we figured we could seize their research and use it to develop our own serum. Use it to help give our agents an edge over our foes."

“However, there was some issues with the company funding the outfit." Harlhooves continued. "The money stopped flowing, and the group has since disbanded. We had already extracted information from the other members, but unfortunately, according to them, all the notes and information regarding their serum was left with the project head.”

“Unfortunately, nopony has seen her in months.” Gridlock grumbled, the sounds of crossbow bolts flying in the background, followed by dying cries, “We need you to go and find her for us. Think you can do us this solid?”

"Do you even have to ask?" Sterling smiled. "We're Ouroboros. We help each other."

"Well said, Sterling." Loveless nodded.

"Count me in!" Ricochet declared. "No way I'm sittin' this one out."

"Excellent." Harlhooves answered. "We left our notes on the target's location in the archives. Good luck with the mission."

"And to you as well." Loveless announced.

"We're gonna need it, with Nalik around-" Gridlock scoffed.

“Why isn’t anypony helping me?!” Nalik screamed out again.

“For Faust’s sake, Nalik, dodge!” Gridlock snarled, as there was a dull thud, and another scream, “I’m sorry, but we gotta go. Gridlock and Harlhooves, out.”

"Then it's settled." Father stepped forward. "The three of you will depart tomorrow morning."

"Of course, sir." Sterling nodded.

"Consider us already there." Ricochet grinned.

"I'll stop by the archives and pick up the relevant information." Loveless told Sterling and Ricochet. "You two prepare yourselves."

"Will do, bro." Ricochet nodded.

"Thanks, Loveless." Sterling smiled. 'I could that time to get a little more research in...'

The next morning, the group of Sterling, Ricochet and Loveless gathered the intel, then headed to the airfield, where they found Doc waiting for them by the carriage (pulled by two Pegasi) that would take them to Neigh Orleans.

"Hey, Doc." Ricochet smiled. "Come to see us off?"

"Actually, I'm coming with you." Doc replied.

"Really?" Loveless asked. "Surely three Ouroboros are more than enough to find one missing researcher?"

"They are." Doc nodded. "But Father insisted upon my joining you. He thinks I need to get out of the lab more often."

“Well, you have been very busy, what with that ‘little’ project of yours.” Loveless pointed out.

“I suppose so…” Doc admitted, “Still, I rather not be gone longer than I have to. So, if we could hurry this along, I would be most gracious.”

"Hey, the more, the merrier!" Ricochet smiled. He wrapped a hoof around Doc's shoulders. "Ever been to Neigh Orleans, Doc?"

"Can't say that I have." Doc admitted.

"I have." Ricochet grinned. "The night life is incredible. I'll even show you some after the mission's done. We are gonna par-tay!"

'Somehow, I doubt Doc's the type for partying...' Sterling thought.

The quartet boarded the carriage, which took them to Neigh Orleans. The area was mostly comprised of bayous and a large city.

"Nice view, huh?" Ricochet grinned.

"Sure is." Sterling nodded.

"You should see it at Maredi Gras." Ricochet chuckled. "Now there's a party…”

"Okay, gentlestallions, let’s focus on the task at hoof.” Loveless announced, “The pony we're looking for is an 'Erlenmeyer Flask', former researcher for the Parasol Corporation. Prior to her disappearance, she and her group had ventured to Neigh Orleans."

"Why would a bunch of researchers come all the way out here to the boonies?" Sterling asked, glancing out the window at the marshlands below.

"In my experience, places like these have a number of rare plants and herbs, which cannot be found anywhere else." Doc remarked. "Such flora are quite useful as ingredients in many mixtures."

"Plus, these swamps are real easy to hide in." Ricochet added. "Just the place if ya don't wanna be disturbed."

"The last Erlenmeyer was seen, she and the research team had made arrangements to stay at a private residence in the middle of the bayou." Loveless pulled out a file, showing a picture of male and female Earth Pony. "Owned by one 'Baker and Sweet Tea Hazard'."

"Hazard? That's an odd name for a family." Sterling frowned.

"More like 'awesome'." Ricochet smirked. "You think they're related to the Dukes of Hazard?"

"Not likely." Loveless shrugged. "According to their file, they're a small ranch family who own a good portion of the bayou. Husband's a rancher. Wife's a homemaker. Have two children and an elderly living with them."

"Do you think they may have anything to do with Erlenmeyer's disappearance?" Doc asked.

“Considering that all of the group except her left that place when their funding was pulled, it is possible.” Loveless mused, “According to info gathered by our agents, the Hazards like to keep to themselves, mostly.”

"Might be a good idea to stay on our guard, though." Sterling mused.

Soon after, they landed just outside the bayou.

"Okay, let's get moving!" Ricochet declared, stepping out. Both he and Sterling were dressed in casual attire, so to appear less threatening. Sterling was wearing a white-collared shirt, with saddlebags (carrying the tools for the mission, and for carrying any notes on the serum), while Ricochet wore a dirty t-shirt with a red vest.

"Perhaps not all of us. This terrain is a little too much for my chair to handle." Loveless frowned.

"And I fear I may stick out a little too much." Doc indicated his unusual appearance. "Meaning I came all the way out here for nothing..."

"It's a pity you guys are gonna miss out on all the action." Ricochet sighed.

"I wouldn't say that exactly." Loveless grinned. A device emerged from out of the back of Loveless's chair. It looked like a mechanical owl.

"Whoa, what's that?" Sterling asked.

"Something that should aid us in the manner of surveillance." Loveless declared.

"How is a metal bird going to aid us?" Doc asked.

"Like this." Loveless activated the owl, which took off, flying a fair distance away. Loveless then pushed a button on his chair, causing a small screen to emerge, with controls underneath. The screen depicted an image of the marshland. "See? Cameras built into the eyes allow for long-range recon. I also designed it to be able to carry up to seventy pounds in weight, and with real-life owl sounds, so that it can blend in."

"Nice!" Sterling mused. "Should really come in handy."

"You brought this along just so you could show it off, right?" Ricochet chuckled.

"It needed to be field-tested." Loveless shrugged. "And what better time than now?"

"Good call, Loveless." Sterling smiled. "Ready to do this, Ricochet?"

"You know it." Ricochet chuckled.

"Good luck." Doc urged, “And remember to keep your mirrors on. Keep us informed of any developments.”

“You got it.” Sterling nodded.

Sterling and Ricochet made their way through the bayou, the owl following close behind. Soon, they reached the front gate of their huge house.

"Look at the size of this place." Sterling gaped.

"Yeah." Ricochet snorted. "If this is what a ranch family can afford these days, we're clearly in the wrong line of work... Well, let's introduce ourselves!"

Ricochet pushed a button by a speaker.

“So, what’s our cover story?” Ricochet asked.

“Cover story? You mean you didn’t come up with one?” Sterling frowned.

“I thought you were going to do it.” Ricochet declared.

"Well, you could have mentioned it!" Sterling yelled. "Now what?!"

"I don't know!" Ricochet yelped.

“Whaddaya want?” A young stallion’s voice rang out, carrying that distinct southern accent.

The two remained silent, unsure of what to say.

“Dammit, Catfish, if this is another one of them ding dong ditches, I’m gettin’ Pa, and he’s gonna kick your ass!”

“Um, n-no, sir.” Sterling murmured nervously, quickly trying to formulate a plan, “You see, we are…”

Sterling glanced at Ricochet, who gave a uncertain shrug.

“...Insurance salesponies!” Sterling blurted out.

“...What?” Ricochet mouthed silently, dumbfounded.

“It was the only thing that came to mind.” Sterling hissed back.

“Insurance salesponies?” The young stallion repeated skeptically, “...Right. What kind of insurance are you sellin’?”

“Uh…” Sterling trailed off, as he whispered to Ricochet, “A little help here?”

“I gotcha.” Ricochet grinned, as he leaned in, “We’re here to sell you something that no homeowners should be without… volcano insurance!”

“The buck?!” Sterling gaped, utterly stupefied.

“Volcano insurance?” The young stallion frowned, sharing Sterling’s disbelief.

“According to my uncle, who is a real whiz with volcanoes, a volcano is coming this way.” Ricochet added.

"You expect me to believe that?" The voice snorted.

"Oh, of course." Ricochet smiled. "I should've known a pony that sounds as smart as you would be a hard sell."

"Smart, huh?" The stallion declared, a note of pride in his voice. "I am pretty sharp..."

"Sharp enough not to let this offer pass you by without getting the particulars in pony, right?" Ricochet urged.

"Umm... I guess not." The stallion admitted. "Hang on, I'll open the gates..."

’Did he… did he actually bought that?!’ Sterling thought, dumbfounded.

“Hook. Line. Sinker.” Ricochet glanced back knowingly, enjoying the look on Sterling’s face.

“What are ya doin’, dum-dum?” A young female voice suddenly joined the conversation, her voice carrying a similar accent to the stallion, “Who’s at the gates?”

“Not it’s any of your business, sis, but I was havin’ a conversation with these salesponies. They want to sell us volcano insurance.”

“Uh-oh.” Ricochet and Sterling uttered in unison.

“Volcano- oh, Faust dammit, Cloak.” The mare groaned, “Did you forget what happened last time? When you bought that cloud insurance from the other guy?”

“Hey, I thought it was a sound investment!” The one the mare called Cloak rebutted, “Just look at them up there, just plotting… picking their moment…

“That was dumb back then, and it is dumb now.” The mare growled, “And I ain’t gonna have you throw away our rainy day fund again because of some scam!”

"Right, because I can't possibly have a good idea!" The stallion sneered.

"You said it, not me." The mare retorted.

"Shut up!" The stallion yelled.

"Yelling." The mare said calmly. "That's bound to get your point across."

"I said, shut up, swamp-breath!!" The stallion yelled again

Sterling and Ricochet shared an awkward look.

“Look, I’m sorry, you two, but we ain’t buying anything.” The mare said firmly.

"But, we..." Sterling struggled to explain, as he turned to Ricochet, whispering, “We’re losing them! We need to get in there!”

“I’m thinking, I’m thinking…” Ricochet grunted, as he leaned in once more, “Um, if it’s not volcano insurance you’re interested in, perhaps we could interest you with…”

He glanced around the property, hoping to come up with a valid idea. As he did, he noticed that some of the windows were boarded up, along with a few shingles missing off the roof of the house itself.

“...Storm insurance?” Ricochet spoke up.

“Storm insurance?” The mare echoed.

“Yeah, I noticed you got some boarded up windows. Are storms pretty bad ‘round here?” Ricochet asked.

“Well, we did almost have that tanker wash up in our bayou in that one storm.” The stallion mused.

"I thought so." Ricochet smirked. "Sounds like this place could use some extra protection."

"Oh, yeah." Sterling nodded, catching on to Ricochet’s idea. "It'd be a shame if a fine home like this was torn down by an errant hurricane, leaving you folks with nothing. A little insurance would definitely help you recover."

"They might have a poi-" The stallion started.

“Look, I really don’t care what kind of insurance you’re selling.” The mare cut him off, clearly trying to hide the annoyance in her voice, “Our family ain’t buying. Now-”

“What’s goin’ on here?” A second male voice joined in, sounding clearly older than the first two, but still bearing the same accent, “Is that pesky Catfish back again?”

“It’s nothing, daddy.” The mare declared, “Just some solicitors.”

“Ugh, ya think they would know better than to send them out to the middle of the bayou?” The older stallion grimaced.

“Well, don’t you worry none. I was about to send them on their way.” The mare said matter-of-factly.

“But pa, they were going to sell us storm insurance!” The stallion chimed in.

“...Storm insurance?” The older stallion repeated, “Is that right, Dagger?”

"Well, yeah." The mare admitted. "But they were tryin' to sell volcano insurance a minute ago, and Cloak almost bought it!"

“I did not!” The younger stallion growled.

“Well, I don’t know what to say about that volcano insurance, but I wouldn’t mind lookin’ into this storm insurance.” The older stallion mused, “Hell, we did almost have that tanker washed ashore in the bayou that one time.”

“That was what I was saying!” The younger stallion declared.

“But, dad-” The mare protested.

“Look, it’s worth a gander, Dagger.” The old stallion explained, “Besides, the two came all this way to sell us the stuff. It would be mighty rude to turn them away. And you know that I don’t abide rudeness.”

"Uh... Excuse me?" Sterling spoke up.

"...Oh, sorry." The older stallion said sheepishly. "Forgot this was still on... Please, come in!"

The gates swung open.

"Can't believe that we actually got in..." Sterling rolled his eyes.

"Believe it, bro." Ricochet smirked. "I really am that good."

“Seriously? Volcano insurance?” Sterling glared.

“Hey, next time, you come up with the cover story.” Ricochet pouted, “Besides, we’re in now, so we gotta make this count.”

After making their way up the path, they reached the house. It was a large, classical-looking structure, clearly having existed for many years.

"Looks even better up close." Sterling nodded.

"We're here!" Ricochet knocked on the door.

The door opened, revealing a dark-forest green Earth Pony with a yellow shirt, brown eyes, a balding brown mane (and beard), a pair of round glasses and a Cutie Mark of a pot of what looked like gumbo.

Two younger Earth Ponies came up aside him, both appearing to be young adults, slightly younger than Sterling and Ricochet themselves.

On one side was a very light green coated, blue eyed messy brown maned mare, wearing a old tank top, and a cutie mark of a hunting knife.

On the other side was a mud brown stallion, with a short black mane and a smaller beard like his father, brown eyes, and a dark blue sweatshirt, the initials N.O.H. on his left side, sporting a cutie mark of a bush with yellow eyes peeking out from it.

"Hello, gents." He smiled. "I am Baker Hazard. Nice to meet you!” He gestured to the mare, who sported a firm stare, “This here is my lovely daughter Dagger.” He then gestured to the stallion, who leaned against the door frame, “And this here is my son Cloak.”

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Sterling said politely.

"Hey, how are you?" Dagger declared, making a token effort to be polite, though it did not mask the look of dissent on her face.

"We're aces, little lady." Ricochet smiled. "How about you kid?"

"Eh." Cloak shrugged.

"Cloak, remember what we talked about?" Baker frowned. "Use words, please."

"I'm fine." Cloak muttered.

"Funny, you're not as talkative in pony, are you?" Sterling mused.

"He's just a little shy, is all." Baker revealed.

"Dad..." Cloak groaned, embarrassed.

"That's cool." Ricochet shrugged. "Someponies are just the quiet type."

"Yeah, right..." Cloak rolled his eyes.

"Please, join us for lunch." Baker told Sterling and Ricochet. "You can meet my lovely wife."

"Lunch does sound good." Sterling admitted. "We've traveled... quite a ways to get here."

"Right this way, then." Baker urged.

Sterling and Ricochet followed the family indoors. Loveless's owl hovered outside, observing.

As they walked through the house, Sterling took note of the antiques and paintings.

'Looks even better on the inside...' He mused.

Sterling also took the time to inconspicuously inspect the surroundings, glancing out of the windows and noting such things as a backyard, two other old houses (which looked just as old as the main one), a trailer, a greenhouse, and a guesthouse.

’Hmm, this is one big property. Hard to believe that only five ponies live here.’ Sterling mused.

"Boy, this is one big house." Ricochet whistled.

"Yes, it is." Baker chuckled. "And it doesn't help that the architects, for some reasons, decided to put the kitchen and dining room so far from the front door... ah, here we are." He smiled as he saw a room up ahead. "Come and meet the wife, fellas. Kids, get ready for lunch."

"Gladly, daddy." Dagger nodded, throwing a cold look at Sterling and Ricochet.

"Whatever." Cloak snorted.

As the three older stallions entered the kitchen, Sterling and Ricochet found an adult mare with a light brown coat, blue eyes, a black mane done in a ponytail, and a old-style white dress.

"I thought I heard guests." The mare smiled.

"This is my beautiful wife, Sweet Tea." Baker smiled. "Sweetie, these are two very nice insurance salesponies... I'm sorry, I didn't catch your names?"

"Sterling." Sterling declared.

"And Ricochet." Ricochet grinned.

"Pleased to meet you both." Sweet Tea beamed.

"These two are going to stay for lunch." Baker announced. "Hope you don't mind cooking extra, darling?"

"Not at all, dear." Sweet Tea kissed him. "You all go into the dining room and make yourselves comfortable. Lunch will be ready soon."

"Thanks, sweetheart." Baker cooed lovingly.

Sterling and Loveless followed Baker into the dining room. Dagger and Cloak were already seated, as was an old Unicorn mare with a pale green coat, gray mane, an old white sleeping gown with a red scarf wrapped around her neck. Her seat was a wheelchair, much simpler in comparison to Loveless’s own.

"Sit right here, fellas." Baker indicated two seats close to the old mare.

"Thanks." Sterling smiled, as he and Ricochet sat down.

The old mare suddenly glanced at the two, letting out a wheeze.

“Uh….” Ricochet murmured, being sat closer to the mare, “Is she alright?”

"Oh, don't mind her." Baker chuckled. "That's my mother, Duchess Hazard.”

"... Seriously?" Ricochet raised a brow.

"What?" Baker frowned, “Something wrong?

"Oh, nothing..." Ricochet chuckled.

Duchess let out a small rasp.

“It’s nothing to worry about, mother. Just some guests.” Baker smiled.

“Wait, that was her talking?” Sterling asked.

“Oh, yes. Suffered a stroke a few years back. Left her barely able to move or speak. The most you'll get out of her nowadays are those wheezes and gasps.” Baker explained.

“Eesh, sorry to hear that.” Sterling murmured.

“Don’t you worry, she’s a trooper.” Baker smiled, “She may not look it, but she’s very spirited for a mare her age.”

Duchess let out a loud wheezing sound.

"I can see that..." Sterling said awkwardly.

Shortly after, Sweet Tea entered, carrying a tray of food.

"Here we go!" She smiled, placing the tray on the table. "Everypony's favorite: Spurnish omelettes!"

"Mmm, it looks good, mom." Dagger grinned.

"You bet." Cloak smiled.

"Thanks, sweetheart." Baker beamed.

"My pleasure." Sweet Tea beamed. "I hope you gents are okay with these?"

"They'll do just fine, ma'am." Sterling said graciously.

"Glad to hear it." Sweet Tea nodded. "And I have some steamed carrots for you, Duchess."

The old mare gave another wheeze, a smile slowly creeping on her face.

“Hmm-mmm, this is good stuff!” Ricochet smiled, having already started on his omelette. "The red peppers in this are great!"

"Why, thank you." Sweet Tea beamed.

"They're fresh from our very own plantation." Baker added.

“Plantation? I didn’t realize you guys grew crops here.” Sterling asked.

“Yeah. I heard you guys were ranchers.” Ricochet declared.

“Well, we’re a little of both.” Sweet Tea smiled, “We have a few cows and chickens we take care of over at a nearby barn. But we also grow all sorts of stuff out here in the bayou. Peppers, tomatoes, oranges, onions, garlic...”

“Wow. That’s a lot of stuff.” Sterling declared, as he took a bite of his omelette. It tasted very good, nearly if not on par with Ignite’s own cooking, “Mmm, delicious.”

“You got that right.” Baker smirked proudly, his plate already cleaned off, “One of the many reasons I fell in love with her.” He then put more omelette on his plate.

“Oh, you.” Sweet Tea laughed heartily.

"It is really good, mom." Dagger smiled. "You're the best cook I know."

"Thank you, sweetheart." Sweet Heart beamed. "How was your day?"

"Pretty good." Dagger nodded. "I went out to the bayou, and saw a woodpecker egg hatch."

"That's nice." Baker smiled. "How about you, son?"

As Baker said this, Cloak was busy writing something on a notepad.

"Cloak, stop scribbling on that thing, and answer me." Baker admonished his son. "How was your day?"

"It was okay." Cloak shrugged.

"Just 'okay'?" Baker frowned.

"Yeah." Cloak nodded.

“You know, you seem more talkative over the speakers.” Ricochet told Cloak.

"And you seemed a lot more charismatic." Cloak shot back.

“Don’t you mind him.” Sweet Tea declared. “Cloak isn’t what you call the ‘sociable’ type. He would spend hours on that little notepad, writing stuff. The poor dear never could make friends…”

"Don't need friends anyway." Cloak pouted.

"As nice as it is, having guests, don't these particular guests have a reason for being here?" Dagger pointed out. "Like a reason they should be focusing on, rather than spending their working hours eating and making small talk? Don't you think you should help them with that, dad?"

“Oh, right.” Baker turned to the two guests, “So, you two sell storm insurance, do ya?”

“Well, we sell pretty much all sorts of insurance.” Ricochet lied, “Health insurance, dental insurance, auto-”

“Volcano insurance?” Dagger glared.

“Volcano?” Sweet Tea frowned. “Here in Neigh Orleans?”

“We like to cover our bases.” Ricochet defended.

"It must be taxing, going all over like this." Baker mused.

"I've always been an active kind of guy." Sterling shrugged.

"And I've been told I'm hyperactive." Ricochet smirked.

"Even so, it would be a shame if you had come all the way out here for nothing..." Sweet Tea mused.

“Actually, there was another reason we came here.” Sterling explained, “You see, we're trying to find another client of ours who is in the area. Do any of you know an Erlenmeyer Flask?”

The Hazard family collectively tensed up.

"Oh... Erlenmeyer?" Baker said, suddenly nervous, “You’re looking for her?”

“Yeah.” Ricochet nodded, “She started fallin' behind on her payments. We decided to talk to her about it, but she's just up and vanished."

"Oh my." Sweet Tea gasped. "How... awful."

“Huh, i never heard of salesponies going to all this effort to check up on a customer before.” Dagger frowned, obviously suspicious, “Wouldn’t you normally go and call the police?”

“We rather not have them involved.” Sterling said firmly, “According to her papers, she was staying here, presumably with you guys. Do you guys have any idea what happened to her?”

"Oh, she left." Baker said as cooly as he could. "Isn't that right, dear?"

"Yes." Sweet Tea nodded. "Some time ago, as I recall."

"Such a shame, too." Dagger declared. "It seems so quiet now, without her and her team in-"

"In the guesthouse?" Sterling surmised.

"...Maybe." Dagger cringed.

"When exactly did they leave?' Ricochet asked.

"A couple of months ago." Baker answered.

“Who the hell ya think you are?!” Cloak stood up, growled.

“Cloak!” Sweet Tea gasped.

“Whoa, take it easy, dude.” Ricochet frowned, “We’re just asking-”

“Well, we don’t take kindly to snoopers!” Cloak yelled, “And if ya don't knock it off with the questions, I'll be answering ya with my hooves, you-!"

"Cloak, that's enough!" Baker snapped, his face alight with fury.

Sterling and Ricochet nearly flinched, the then jovial stallion’s rage surprising them.

“But dad!” Cloak protested.

“I will take care of this, son.” Baker said coldly, “Now, kindly go the other room. We’ll talk about this later.

"Grr… fine..." Cloak growled, as he stormed out of the room.

'Well, well.' Sterling mused. 'The kid was pretty defensive there. Maybe these folks do have something to do with Flask's disappearance...'

"Sorry about that." Sweet Tea apologized. "Cloak's also got a bit of a temper.”

“I’ll say.” Ricochet cringed, “I hope we didn’t cause any problems.”

“Naw, Cloak just needs to cool off.” Baker sighed, calming down, “He's a good kid… just… different.”

“That’s subjective…” Dagger murmured.

“Well, if it’s alright with all of you,” Sterling declared, “How about, after lunch, we take a small tour of the property? Me and my friend would like to give this a place a little look-over, and figure out the rates for our insurance. Maybe I can take a look at that guest house first…”

"Oh, I'm afraid I must respectfully refuse." Baker said suddenly.

"Why's that?" Sterling frowned.

"Oh, it's such a frightful mess in there." Sweet Tea declared. "It's all musty and dirty, and stuff."

"Sounds pretty nasty." Ricochet cringed.

“Yeah. We hadn’t really gotten around to fixing it up from the last storm.” Baker admitted, “Trust me, you do not wanna go in there.”

“Well, all the same, in my experience, it's places like that which are the most at risk during a storm." Sterling lied. "So perhaps it's more important that I check it out."

"I'm sorry, but that's out of the question." Baker repeated, a bit more sternly.

“Sir, I’m just trying to help you.” Sterling urged.

“Hey, if daddy says no, he means no.” Dagger glared.

“I’m sorry, gentlecolts.” Baker began, “But if you don’t like my answer, then you can just lea-”

"Mom! Dad!" Cloak's voice rang out. "Grandma got into the crawlspace again!"

“What is he talking about? She’s right-” Ricochet turned to face Duchess… only to find her gone, “Huh… how about that.”

"Oh, not again..." Baker groaned. "Hang on, we’re coming!”

"We'd better fish her out before she gets too dirty." Sweet Tea sighed. "Come along, Dagger. All hooves on deck."

"Okay, mom." Dagger sighed, as she glanced at two, “Don’t you two run off anywhere.”

The family rushed out of the dining room.

"Quick, huddle!" Sterling urged.

Ricochet huddled with Sterling.

"Okay, these guys are definitely hiding something." Sterling declared. "The way they reacted when I mentioned Erlenmeyer makes me think that it has something to do with her. There's probably in some clues in that guest house. We should start our search there. Whattaya think?"

“Well, it’s a good idea, but these guys really don’t want us looking in there. You heard Baker, he was about to kick us out.” Ricochet frowned.

“Look, it’s fine, we’ll just come back when it’s dark.” Sterling explained, “With a property this big, we can easily get in and get out with them being none the wiser.”

“I dunno. You saw how that kid got.” Ricochet cringed, “If these guys really do have Erlenmeyer, they now know that we’re looking for her. They might try and get rid of her before we can get to her.”

"So what do you suggest?" Sterling asked.

"We should split up." Ricochet suggested. "I'll keep the family busy by asking them to show me around the place. You get into that guest house and look for her."

"That might work." Sterling nodded. "Let's do it."

Moments later, the family returned to the room.

"Grandma was a real mess this time." Dagger groaned.

"At least we got her off to bed." Sweet Tea sighed.

“Yeah, after drooling on me.” Cloak growled.

“Hey, don’t blame my maw, Cloak.” Baker admonished, “Ya know she can’t help it.”

“Hey, guys!” Ricochet smiled, “Is Duchess okay?”

“Oh, she’s just fine.” Baker nodded, “Now, where were we?”

“Actually, I gotta head out.” Sterling spoke up, “I just realized that I forgot my briefcase back at the carriage.”

“Oh, again, Sterling?” Ricochet fake-pouted.

“Sorry, Ric.” Sterling cringed, following his lead, “You guys don’t mind if I slip out, do you?”

“Well, I guess not. You just hurry back, y’hear?” Baker shrugged.

“You got it.” Sterling nodded.

“I’ll walk him out, daddy.” Dagger stepped forth.

“Oh no, I don’t want to be a bother…” Sterling frowned.

“Oh, it’s no bother at all…” Dagger said firmly, showing no intent of backing down.

"...Okay." Sterling nodded, suppressing a groan of frustration. 'So much for sneaking away....'

As Sterling followed Dagger out, not liking how intently she was eyeing him, Ricochet turned to the other three Hazards.

“So… about exploring the property…” Ricochet began.

“My answer’s still the same.” Baker frowned.

“I figured as much.” Ricochet sighed, “I’m sorry about that, by the way. Sterling’s really a great guy. But he is always on about being professional and thorough. It can be such a drag, y’know?”

“I reckon.” Baker rubbed his head, “I don’t mean to be harsh, but after dummy over here bought that bullcrap ‘cloud insurance’, you can’t be too careful.”

“Oh, come on, dad!” Cloak groaned.

“That was two hundred bits, boy! Do you know how much Jumbalaya we coulda eaten with that?” Baker rebutted.

"I don't even like that stuff." Cloak scoffed.

“Tell ya what.” Ricochet smiled, “How about we still do a tour of the property? I’ll leave the guest house alone, and after we are done, if you're still interested, I throw in coverage of the guesthouse, free of charge.”

“Well, that sounds swell.” Baker smirked, “You sure your partner won’t mind?”

“I’ll deal with him.” Ricochet assured him, “It’s the least I could do after that awesome meal your wife made.”

“In that case, sounds like a good deal.” Baker chuckled, “Shall we get started?”

“You betcha.” Ricochet agreed.

Outside, Sterling and Dagger reached the gates. Sterling glanced at the guesthouse, standing there, just within reach… only for Dagger to lean in.

"Well, this is it." Dagger sneered. "You can go and get your 'briefcase' or whatever it is. We'll be waiting, Mr 'insurance salespony'."

"Thanks, kid." Sterling frowned, not liking her attitude.

"Take as much time as you like." Dagger closed the gate behind her.

As Dagger returned to the mansion, Sterling kicked up dirt.

“Ugh, dammit!” Sterling growled, “Now what do I do?”

"Hoot, hoot!"

Sterling glanced up, and saw Loveless’s owl, perched on the wall next to the gate. Then Sterling’s mirror vibrated, as if on cue.

“Sterling here.” Sterling declared, “What is it, Loveless?”

“Just checking in.” Loveless explained, as he and Doc were seated outside the carriage still, “I see that you and Ricochet got in. Did they know anything about Erlenmeyer?”

“Well, I can tell you one thing, they definitely know something.” Sterling growled, as he looked back at the guest house, “And whatever it is, it’s in their guesthouse. And I can bet you it’s Erlenmeyer.”

“And where is Ricochet?” Loveless asked.

“Still in the house. He’s going to keep them busy while I check out the guest house. But that daughter of theirs walked me off the property before I could slip away. I’m gonna need another way in there.”

“Well, you’re just in luck.” Loveless smiled, “When you and Ricochet went inside, I scouted out the lay of the land. There’s a back gate over by the south wall. Locked,  Locked, but I'm sure it's nothing you can't handle. Then you'll reach a back path that leads up to the guest house's back door."

“Okay, I’m there. Hopefully, Ricochet will keep them busy long enough for me to get in there and look.” Sterling declared.

“I will have the owl circling the property, and keep an eye out for anything.” Loveless declared, “However, I suggest that you keep your mirror on, so you are ready to get out at a moment’s notice.”

“You got it.” Sterling nodded, as he walked off into the bayou.

Meanwhile, Ricochet was led into the corridor outside the kitchen.

"These paintings have been in our family for years." Baker declared. "They're irreplaceable."

"The last thing we'd want is for them to be damaged by a storm." Sweet Tea added.

"Oh, yeah." Ricochet nodded. "Especially the picture of the old nag there." He indicated a portrait of a wizened mare.

"That's my grandmother." Baker deadpanned.

"Oooh..." Ricochet cringed. "Well, credit to the artist: he got every wrinkle!"

Dagger returned to the family.

"Mr Sterling's on his way to his precious briefcase." She announced. "One down, one to go..." She added under her breath.

"Too bad." Ricochet grinned. "Sterling's gonna miss all the fun..."

Meanwhile, Sterling was making his way to the back door of the guesthouse, the owl following him.

“Okay, I’m here.” Sterling nodded, “Here goes nothing…”

Picking the lock, Sterling entered the guest house. The place was pretty dark, the only source of light being dim, flickering light bulbs.

As he walked a bit further, he found himself in a kitchen. The place didn’t look all that good; there was litter all over the floor, the paint was peeling off the walls, dirty dishes in the sink and at the side of it, and on the table.

“How is it looking so far?” Loveless asked.

“Like a dump.” Sterling cringed, as he took a walk around the kitchen, the floorboards creaking beneath his hooves, “The wife said that the guesthouse was a mess, and she wasn’t kidding. Looks like nopony been in here for months.”

"All the same, it would be best to search the place." Loveless instructed.

"On it." Sterling nodded. "I'm gonna search the place from top to bottom..."

Back in the house, Ricochet was led into what appeared to be a children’s room. The colors of the wall was split into two, with one side being green, the other purple. The green side looked like a typical boy’s room, with hoofball and baseball posters plastered over the wall, with sport equipments and some toys cluttered around. On the purple side was a girl’s room, with a vanity, a chest with a few dolls in it, and to Ricochet’s amusement, a stuffed alligator doll.

“This here is Cloak and Dagger’s old room.” Baker explained, “They used to sleep in here when they were only foals.”

“So, where do they sleep now?” Ricochet asked, “They do live here, right?”

“Well, Dagger is studying at the local university to become a biologist.” Sweet Tea beamed proudly, “She wanted to be a bit closer to nature, so we decided to set up a trailer for her in the back, so she could slip out and do her work in peace.”

“Yeah, I think I saw it. You didn’t get far, did you?” Ricochet smirked at Dagger.

“What can I say? I belong here.” Dagger gave a small smile, “I couldn’t find it in myself to move far from ma and pa.”

“That’s my girl.” Baker hugged his daughter.

“Besides, if I left them with just dum-dum over here, they would go crazy.” Dagger joked.

“Oh, buck you!” Cloak groaned.

“Cloak, language!” Baker slapped the back of Cloak’s head, as he turned to Ricochet, “As for this dipwad, he hangs out in the house that’s attached to the barn. Though he always stays up late, listening to that awful rock music.”

"It's not my fault you're not with it anymore." Cloak snorted.

As he looked around the room, Ricochet noticed a series of trophies inside a cabinet, in a variety of bronze, silver, and gold.

“Hey, whose trophies are these?” Ricochet asked.

“Oh, those would be Cloak’s.” Baker revealed.

"No kiddin'?" Ricochet mused, “What for?”

“Well, our boy here is quite the inventor.” Sweet Tea smiled. "That's what he's always scribbling on his little notepad: All his brilliant inventions."

“Mom, it ain’t a big deal.” Cloak muttered.

“An inventor, eh?” Ricochet glanced at Cloak, “From the look of these trophies, you must be a good one.”

“Cloak’s always been very good with tools.” Baker declared, “I actually tried to get him work at a construction company one time…” He then grimaced, “It didn’t work out…”

“Hey, ain’t my fault that my boss was a moron.” Cloak growled.

“Really? Like it wasn’t with all the other places you worked at?” Dagger deadpanned, “All of your bosses happened to be morons?”

“I…” Cloak trailed off, before scowling, “I’m just better freelancing as an inventor, alright?”

“Really? When was the last time anypony commissioned you for anything?” Dagger challenged.

Cloak silently glared at his sister.

“Okay, you two, that’s enough. I think we should move on.” Sweet Tea urged.

“You’re right, honey. We still have half the house to check out.” Baker nodded, “Right this way, Ricochet.”

As the family and Ricochet left the room, Ricochet sidled up to Cloak, who was muttering curses under his breath.

“You know, being an inventor isn’t all that bad.” Ricochet told Cloak.

“Oh yeah, how ya figure?” Cloak huffed.

“Well, I got a pal who’s an inventor, and he’s one of the best guys I know.” Ricochet grinned.

“Yeah, so what?” Cloak asked.

"So, a talent like you could be considered very valuable to the right ponies." Ricochet smiled. "Ponies who would pay a mountain a' Bits for even one of your inventions."

"That much?" Cloak gaped for a moment, then composed himself. "Good to know."

The other family members had paid no heed to this conversation, Baker and Sweet Tea reminiscing about Dagger's childhood.

"Remember when she brought home that baby alligator?" Baker smiled.

"Boy, do I!" Sweet Tea chuckled. "We had to replace all the sofa cushions!"

"I was six!" Dagger pouted. "Aren't you ever gonna let that go?"

Back in the guest house, Sterling had trudged his way through the entire derelict household, from the kitchen to the attic, and the hallways. As far as he could see, the whole place was empty.

‘Ugh, dammit.” Sterling grimaced, as he was now in the living room, looking at a few cassette tapes he found by a TV, his hooves filthy from the search. His mirror was on the TV, still on, “I searched this place from the top, and the only interesting I found was these tapes about… ‘Sewer Gators’?”

“I think it’s that ghost hunting show I watched with Ricochet the other night.” Loveless mused, “Ricochet enjoyed it, but I just found the whole concept stupid.”

"Right now, I think I'd prefer a whole season of that to this." Sterling groaned. "I tell ya, I'm about ready to throw in the towel."

"Don't give up, Sterling." Loveless urged. "You never know, the answer might be right under your nose."

"I'll believe that when I see it." Sterling idly filters candle holder that was attached to the wall.

As soon as the fixture tilted, a small door opened up aside it.

“Hello…” Sterling lit up, intrigued, as he held up the mirror, “Loveless, I just found a secret door.”

“A secret door? Who the hell puts in a secret door these days?” Loveless asked incredulously.

“I dunno. Baker did mention something about the architects being weird that way.” Sterling shrugged as he passed through the door.

In the hidden room, there was a ladder, leading down below.

"The basement.." Sterling mused. "That is kind of cliche..."

“Yeah, but it’s a better place than any to hide somepony.” Loveless pointed out, “Though if you’re going into the basement, you might not get good reception on the mirror. We won’t be able to contact you till you get out.”

“Well, I have no other place to look.” Sterling declared, “If I’m not out in a half hour, call Ricochet to come get me.”

“Right. Do be careful, Sterling.” Loveless frowned, as he hung up.

“Okay, here goes nothing…” Sterling sighed.

Sterling made his way down the ladder. As he reached the half-way point, a rung suddenly snapped.

“Whoa!” Sterling yelped, catching the ladder a few rungs down, “Jeez, this place is coming-”

The rungs Sterling grabbed onto broke as well.

“Ahhh!” Sterling gaped, unable to catch the ladder that time, as he fell.

His fall was broken by two feet of water.

"Oh, yuck!" He pat up the stagnant liquid. "Guess somepony needs new storm drains." He looked up at the ladder, which was broken in several places. "No place to go but onwards now..."

Sterling made his way down the flooded corridor and found some steps leading to more doors.

"Let's see what's behind door number one..." He opened the door nearest him.

Behind the door was a laboratory of some kind, worktops and equipment covered in dust.

"Where's a broom when you need one.?" Sterling quipped.

As he looked around, he found a stack of papers. After blowing off the dust, he saw the title: "Project: Regen".

"Hello." He smiled, as he took a quick look through the notes. Most of the formulas were beyond him, but he could tell it was part of Erlenmeyer's work. "Looks like this trip won't be a total loss after all..."

As he continued looking around, he noticed a cell door, with a padlock on the handle.

“What the…” Sterling approached the door, examining the padlock, “Hello? Is anypony in there?”

Sterling peered through the bars, seeing a female pony huddled on a bed. She was a pale blue Earth Pony mare with long dark brown mane, a filthy grey tanktop, a cutie mark being of an Erlenmeyer flask… just like the description Sterling was given of her.

“Jackpot.” Sterling smirked, as he pulled out a pair of bolt cutters out of his saddlebags, and broke the chain, “Up and at ‘em!" He called. "You've been let out early on good behavior!"

"What?" The mare woke up, noticing the stallion, "Who's there?"

"Erlenmeyer Flask?" Sterling asked.

"I think so." The mare rubbed her head.

"My name is Sterling Cross." Sterling announced. "I'm here to get you to safety."

"Oh, thank goodness." Erlenmeyer groaned. "I thought I'd never get out of here." She tried to stand up, but lost her balance. "Ohh!"

"Easy, I got ya." Sterling helped her steady herself. "Are you hurt? Did those Hazard ponies do anything?"

"I'm not sure." Erlenmeyer admitted. "It's all a blur..."

'Who knows what this poor mare's been through.' Sterling thought. 'That family must be a bunch of psychos...'

Meanwhile, the Hazard family were in their living room, Baker playing a piano, Sweet Tea seated next to him.

“Boy, the way Glen Miller played.” Baker crooned.

“Songs that made the hit parade.” Sweet Tea sang.

“Guys like us, we had it made.” Baker caroled.

“Those were the days!” The two sang in unison.

“Wow… are these two usually so lovey-dovey?” Ricochet asked, watching alongside Cloak and Dagger.

"Unfortunately, yes." Dagger sighed.

"Totally, gross, right?" Cloak cringed.

“Well, I have to say… you guys are the least psychotic family I've ever met.” Ricochet smirked.

“...That’s a weird way of complimenting somepony.” Dagger frowned.

Back in the guesthouse basement, Sterling helped Erlenmeyer out of the cell.

“Oh, thank you…” Erlenmeyer murmured, “Did any of them see you? The Hazards?”

“Don’t worry about them, I have someone keeping them busy.” Sterling assured, “But we do have a problem. I took a ladder down here, but it broke. So unless there's another way out, we're sunk."

"I think I know another way out." Erlenmeyer declared, pointed down a corridor. "This way, I think."

"Better than anything I've got." Sterling shrugged.

Sterling followed Erlenmeyer down the corridor.

“So, Erlenmeyer… do you remember anything that happened to you?” Sterling asked.

“I don’t know… my head’s all a fog.” Erlenmeyer winced in pain, “The last thing I remember is my research team abandoning me, leaving me to work on the serum alone. The next thing I know, Mr. Hazard and that creepy son of his locked me up in that cell. I must have been in there for two weeks.”

“...Erlenmeyer, it’s been four months.” Sterling frowned.

“What?! I’ve been locked up that long?” Erlenmeyer gaped, “Oh Faust…”

“Don’t worry, Erlenmeyer, we’re going to get out of here, and I’ll personally make sure the Hazard family pays for this.” Sterling scowled.

Erlenmeyer lead Sterling to a door.

"This leads to a storage room." She announced. "My memory's a little fuzzy, but I think we can find a way out there."

"Let's hope so..." Sterling mused.

They entered the storage room, finding it to be filled with many crates, drums, and even a couch for some reason. But as they looked around, it was clear that there was no exit.

"It's a dead end." Sterling groaned.

"No!" Erlenmeyer yelped in horror. "I was so sure... I... I..."

"You okay?" Sterling frowned.

"I feel... strange… oh..." Erlenmeyer mumbled, before collapsing on the couch.

"Erlenmeyer!" Sterling gasped. He checked her pulse, which was steady. "Poor thing passed out... Things can never be easy for me."

Sterling stepped out of the storage room and pulled out his mirror, attempting to contact Ricochet.

Up in the mansion, back in the living room, Ricochet picked up his mirror.

"'Scuse me for a second, folks." He told the family. "Just gotta use the bathroom."

“First door, next to the stairs.” Baker smirked.

Ricochet rushed into the hallway and activated the mirror. Sterling's image appeared, but it was blurry, and ill-defined.

"Ricochet, you there?" Sterling asked, his voice sounding like it was filtered through a paper bag.

"Yeah." Ricochet nodded. "Signal's kinda weak, but I hear ya."

“I was right, Ricochet! I’ve found Erlenmeyer and her notes!” Sterling announced.

“Oh, really?” Ricochet frowned, “This family seems so nice…”

“Oh, yeah, try telling Erlenmeyer that.” Sterling scoffed, “Look, I’m calling because I-”

Sterling’s voice became static.

“Um, what was that?” Ricochet asked.

“I said I need-” Sterling tried to repeat himself, but the voice went static once more.

“I can’t hear you, you’re breaking up.” Ricochet declared.

“Ricochet, I can’t-” Sterling growled, before the image suddenly vanished.

"Sterling?" Ricochet called, before growling. "Dammit, either these things are broken, or something's jamming the signal... I guess I’m gonna have to cover for him even longer. Hopefully he can manage on his own."

Ricochet returned to the living room.

"I'm afraid my associate will be away a bit longer." He announced.

"Why's that?" Dagger asked.

"Oh, he had to take an important call." Ricochet shrugged, “He told me he'll be back to pick me up.”

"I suppose this means you'll be staying for dinner." Sweet Tea mused. "In that case, I think I'll cook up my famous gumbo."

"Gumbo?" Ricochet smiled. "I love gumbo!"

"Then you're in for a treat." Baker declared. "Sweet Tea's gumbo is the best in Neigh Orleans."

"Oh, honey..." Sweet Tea blushed.

Down in the basement, Sterling was still on his mirror.

“Ricochet? Ricochet?!” Sterling yelled, “Oh, great… there has to be a way out of here… I just have to find it…”

Just then, Sterling heard a loud crashing noise from the storage room.

"Erlenmeyer?" He rushed back in. "You okay?"

Erlenmeyer did not answer, for she had vanished. Not only that, but a pile of crates had been moved aside, revealing a stairway that lead back to the first floor.

'Huh, That's one problem solved.' Sterling thought as he emerged into the guesthouse. 'But I still need to find Erlenmeyer... Better try Ricochet again, maybe I’ll get a signal now.'

Just as Sterling reached for his mirror, he heard a loud knocking noise back in the basement.

"Seriously?" He groaned. "Back down the stairs?"

Sterling made his way back down to the storage room.

"Erlenmeyer?" He asked. "You still down here?"

At that moment the light went out for a moment.

'You gotta be kidding me...' Sterling thought. 'Better bust out the matches...'

Before Sterling could do so, the light came back on, and he was greeted by Erlenmeyer, her face twisted and savage.

"RARRRRGH!!" Erlenmeyer screeched.

"What th- ugh?!" Before Sterling could finish, Erlenmeyer grabbed him by the neck and threw him with enough force to send him up the stairs and crashing into a wall.

'What the Tartarus was that?' Sterling struggled to get up.

In the brief amount of time it took for Sterling to stand, Erlenmeyer had already climbed up the stairs. With another savage screech, she charged at him with a knife.

"Hey, whoa!" Sterling instinctively raised a hoof to defend himself, but the knife slashed through it. "Argh!"

"Grahh!" Erlenmeyer lashed out again.

This time, Sterling was ready for her. He grabbed her knife and headbutted her.

"Yarrgh!" Erlenmeyer roared, dropping the knife. She lunged at Sterling, who struggled to hold her back.

"I don't know what's happening, but you need to get a grip, lady!" Sterling urged.

“BUCK YOU, YOU BUCKIN’ SCUMSUCKER!” Erlenmeyer screamed.

“Back off!” Sterling roared, pushing her to the ground. The mare was moments from getting up again… before the rage in her eyes dimmed, and she passed out once more.

"What in the name of Equestria is going on here?" Sterling asked aloud, as he slowly approached her. "Is she nuts? Is she-?"

Erlenmeyer's eyes snapped back open.

"Yarrgh!" She sprang back up, grabbing Sterling’s injured hoof and twisting it.

“Augh!” Sterling cried, trying to break loose without breaking the hoof.

Then Erlenmeyer grabbed him by the throat.

“Leave me!” Erlenmeyer growled, as she then threw him against the wall.

"Whoa!" Sterling yelped, smashing through said wall into another room. "Ugh... I really hate this mission." He groaned, as he once more struggled to get up.

Erlenmeyer stalked her way into the room, stopping only to pick up a sharp piece of wood from what remained of the wall.

“Go!” Erlenmeyer screamed in fury.

"Not this time..." Sterling quickly scanned the room, finding a small axe. He sidestepped Erlenmeyer's assault and grabbed the axe. "Bring it."

"Raarrgh!" Erlenmeyer charged, the wood raised.

Sterling swung the axe, cutting the wood in half.

"Grr!" Erlenmeyer snarled at the loss of her weapon.

"Ready to back off yet?" Sterling taunted.

"Yarrr!" Erlenmeyer lunged at him, grabbing the handle of the axe.

"Let... go!" Sterling struggled against her.

"Grah!" Erlenmeyer spat.

The two struggled for a few moments, until Sterling managed to pull the axe free, but stumbled and fell against a table. Undaunted, Erlenmeyer charged again.

"I said, back off!" Sterling swung the axe wildly.

The weapon buried itself in Erlenmeyer's neck.

"Gah... Guhhh..." Erlenmeyer gurgled, blood pouring from the wound. She dropped to the floor, dead.

Sterling panted rapidly, horrified and confused by what just happened.

“What the… what the buck was that?!” Sterling yelled, “Did the Hazards do this to her?!” He shook his head, “No… there’s something else going on… but what?”

His cut hoof stung.

“Ahh…” Sterling cringed, clutching it, “I better get this cleaned up first.”

Sterling made his way to a nearby bathroom. Luckily, despite the house’s state, there were still bandages to be found, and the plumbing still worked.  As he finished up, he saw Loveless's owl hovering outside the window, looking in.

Suddenly, Sterling’s mirror rang again, as he pulled it up.

“Sterling? Are you alright? What happened to your hoof?” Loveless asked in succession.

“Well, I got good news and bad news.” Sterling declared, “Good news is, I found Erlenmeyer in the basement, along with her notes.”

“What’s the bad news?” Loveless frowned.

“She’s dead.” Sterling grimaced.

“Oh Faust…” Loveless gasped, “What did that family do to her?”

“Yeah… it wasn’t them.” Sterling cringed, “It was me. I killed her with an ax.”

“...What?” Loveless repeated, his eyes widened, “You… killed her?!”

“Look, it was crazy.” Sterling groaned, “One moment, Erlenmeyer was some poor mare, traumatized from being locked up so long, the next, she went psycho on me! Came at me with a knife!”

“And you couldn’t simply disarm her?” Loveless asked.

“What’s going on?” Doc spoke from the side.

“Sterling killed the target!” Loveless told him.

“What? Why would Sterling do that?” Doc gaped, “That’s so unlike him...”

“I didn’t-” Sterling grunted, “You had to see her! She manhandled me twice, throwing me up stairs and through a wall! She wasn’t going to stop till I was dead! It was me or her!”

“Calm down, Sterling.” Loveless urged, as he sighed, “I understand completely. I’m just relieved to see that you’re okay.”

“Yeah. My hoof hurts like hell, but I’ll live.” Sterling nodded softly.

“Don’t you worry about that, Sterling.” Doc spoke up, leaning towards the mirror, “Once you get back, I’ll get it all fixed up.”

“Thanks, Doc.” Sterling gave a small smile.

“Still, what could had happened to her that she would go off like that?” Loveless mused,

“I don’t know, but I gotta get out of here.” Sterling frowned, “I’ll give Ricochet a call and get him out of there. Erlenmeyer might be dead, but we still got her notes. That should be good enough for Harlhooves and Gridlock.”

"Hold on." Loveless declared. "Erlenmeyer may be dead, but perhaps her body might have something we can salvage."

"Really, Loveless?" Sterling scowled, “I’m freaked out about this, and this mission has been a real crapshow so far. Why do we need to add stealing a body to the pile?”

"Sterling, you know as well as I do that if we just leave Erlenmeyer there, Gridlock and Harlhooves will never let any of us hear the end of it." Loveless sighed. "Besides, you think the Hazard family is going to like it if they find their captive dead? It will raise questions."

Sterling growled in frustration as he stormed out the bathroom.

"Alright, fine, but I swear, this is the last time I do those two any fav-" He came across the room he was thrown into and where he left Erlenmeyer's body... only to find her gone. "...Uh-oh."

"Sterling? What's wrong?" Loveless asked. "You just went pale."

"Um, Loveless, the body's gone." Sterling said bluntly.

"What?" Loveless frowned.

“What?!” Doc echoed.

"Erlenmeyer! Her body! It's not there anymore!" Sterling yelped.

"You can't be serious." Loveless snorted. "Sterling, a dead body can't just get up and walk away!"

"You don't think I know that?!" Sterling scowled. He glanced at the blood pool, taking note of the ax. He picked it up, stupefied.

"Are you sure you killed her?" Loveless asked.

"I buried an ax in her buckin' neck!" Sterling yelled. "Nopony can walk away from that!"

“A mare going berserk all of a sudden is one thing, but a dead body disappearing like that?” Loveless asked, deeply concerned, “There is something freaky going around there.”

"At this point, I don't care." Sterling shook his head. "Screw Gridlock and Harlhooves! I ain't staying here another moment!"

“You know, I agree. You should get out of there now.” Loveless nodded.

Switching off the mirror, Sterling made to leave through the guesthouse's back door (in hopes of not being spotted by the family). But as he tried to open it, he found it was blocked.

“What the…” Sterling spluttered, jiggling the doorknob, “Why isn’t it…” He slammed his good hoof into the door, “Dammit, the stupid door must be jammed.” He turned back to the kitchen, “Maybe I should try the front door.”

However, when Sterling went to try the front door, the door would not open as well.

“The hell?!” Sterling snarled, as he tried pulling and pushing on the door, “What gives?!”

Something red caught his eyes, as he glanced down at the doorknob, as there was some odd device on the knob, giving off a red light. He could only assume that this was what was on the other door as well.

“Oh, buck…” Sterling cursed, as he switched on his mirror, “Loveless, we have a problem. I’m trapped!”

“Trapped? What do you mean trapped?!” Loveless frowned.

“I don’t know! I can’t get both doors open. There’s something on the doorknob, keeping me in!” Sterling panicked.

“Calm yourself, Sterling.” Loveless urged, “Show me the door.”

Sterling did as such, pointing the mirror at the door.

“Hmm, it looks like somepony designed some locking mechanism for the door.” Loveless mused, “Not badly designed, I might say. It seems you must have messed with something that set the mechanism off.”

“...Wait, there was something like this on the door to Erlenmeyer’s cell.” Sterling recalled, “Whoever made this, they must have made it in case Erlenmeyer got out.”

“Considering how the mare is now, I can understand why.” Loveless nodded, “Perhaps if you get back down there and shut the door, maybe it will disable the lock.”

"Worth a shot, I guess." Sterling frowned, “The sooner I get out of here, the better.”

Sterling headed back to the basement stairs, but along the way, he was intercepted by Erlenmeyer, alive and well… albeit an ax wound in her neck.

“Ahh!” Sterling gasped, “Erlenmeyer… you’re… you’re...”

“Sterling, what’s going on?” Loveless asked, the mirror still on.

“Oh, it’s okay, it’s okay…” Erlenmeyer slowly approached Sterling, “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“How… how are you alive?!” Sterling asked, “I… I killed you!”

“I know, I know, and I don’t blame you for it.” Erlenmeyer tried to soothe him.

“Considering you tried to kill me, I would hope so!” Sterling yelled, a bit scared. At this point, he regretted not bringing his crossbow.

“I’m really sorry about that.” Erlenmeyer frowned, “I didn’t mean to. There’s… there’s something wrong with me."

“No, you think?!” Sterling scowled.

“Look, I’m sorry!” Erlenmeyer repeateed, “I just don’t know what came over…”

"Erlenmeyer?" Sterling asked.

Sterling recognised the red rage in Erlenmeyer's eyes a second too late.

"Rrrrrrr!" Erlenmeyer snarled.

"Oh, bu-!" Sterling gasped.

“You shouldn’t have done that! It buckin’ hurts!” Erlenmeyer screeched.

Erlenmeyer snatched a screwdriver from a nearby table, using it to pin Sterling to the wall by his hoof, knocking the mirror away at the same time.

"GAH! MOTHERBUCKER!" Sterling screamed.

"Sterling! Sterling! Are you okay?!" Loveless yelled. "RESPOND! RE-" Erlenmeyer stood on the mirror, breaking it, as she went to fetch something.

"I swear to Faust, can this day get any worse?!" Sterling groaned.

Suddenly, a buzzing sound, which could only be one thing, was heard. Sterling looked up to see Erlenmeyer with a chainsaw.

"...Are you BUCKING KIDDING ME?!" Sterling yelled.

"He-he-he..." Erlenmeyer cackled madly as she advanced on Sterling.

"It... Won't be... That easy!" Sterling struggled against the pain, twisting the screwdriver, trying desperately to free his hoof. "Come... On..."

Sterling managed to pull his wounded hoof free, but he was a second too late; the chainsaw swung downward, slicing right through his hoof, lobbing it clean off.

"Gahhh!!" Sterling screamed, dropping to the floor in agony. Every moment of pain he had suffered up to this moment could not compare to the Faust awful sensation of literally losing his own hoof.

Through a haze of pain, he only glanced up as Erlenmeyer moved towards him, eager to finish him off.

Back at the Hazard house, Ricochet was with the family in the dining room, enjoying some gumbo.

"My compliments, Mrs. H." Ricochet smiled. "This gumbo is the best I've ever had!"

"You're too kind, dear." Sweet Tea blushed.

“Oh, nonsense, honey!” Baker smirked, as he dished himself his fourth helping, “I could go the rest of my life eating nothing but your gumbo, and never be sick of it!”

“You know, you guys are alright.” Ricochet smiled, “Even if you guys don’t end up buying our insurance, I’m happy to meet such a nice-”

Suddenly, there was a loud slam, echoing from the front of the house, alarming everypony.

“Huh?” Baker frowned, “What was that?!”

Suddenly, wheeling into the room was Loveless, his expression frantic.

“What the- who the hell is this?!” Cloak yelled, standing up.

“Loveless?! What are you doing here?!” Ricochet asked.

“Ricochet, what the hell are you doing?! Sterling is in trouble!” Loveless snarled.

“Holy crap, really?!” Ricochet gasped, jumping up.

“Yes, get your flank into gear!” Loveless roared.

"Wait a minute!" Baker gaped, nonplussed. "Just who are-?"

"No time to answer pointless questions!" Loveless yelled. "You all come with us, now!"

Both unnerved and intrigued, the Hazard family followed.

Loveless led them all to the guesthouse.

"The guesthouse?" Sweet Tea frowned.

"Oh no..." Dagger groaned.

Loveless wheeled up to the door, nearly running into it, as he tried opening it, but it wouldn’t budge.

“Dammit!” Loveless slammed his hoof on the door.

“What? Is the door locked?!” Ricochet frowned.

“Okay, who’s the asshole who put this lock on this door?!” Loveless snarled, turning to the family.

“Um, this ‘asshole’ did.” Cloak said arrogantly, “And it shouldn’t be locked, dummy. I designed it to only lock when-”

The sound of a demented cackle and a chainsaw echoed, causing everypony to freeze.

“Is that who I think it is?” Sweet Tea gaped in horror.

“Is that my chainsaw?” Baker blanched.

“Okay, ‘genius’, if you designed this lock, then you must know how to override it!” Loveless glared, “I suggest you do it, and do it now!”

"Okay, okay!" Cloak yelped, unnerved by Loveless's anger, as he pulled out a screwdriver. “Good thing I keep a screwdriver on hoof…”

As Cloak went to work, Loveless and Ricochet heard a familiar groan of pain.

"Sterling!" Ricochet gasped.

"He-he-he!" Erlenmeyer's cackle rang through the air.

“Oh, Baker, what do we do?” Sweet Tea quivered, hugging Baker.

“Hurry up, boy!” Baker demanded, terrified.

“Hey, I’m working as fast as I can!” Cloak yelled back.

Inside, Sterling struggled to get away, grasping his bleeding stump. Erlenmeyer was right behind him, waving the chainsaw around madly.

'Gotta find somewhere to hide... Somewhere I can find a weapon...' He thought desperately.

As he ran up the stairs, he saw a drawstring hanging from the ceiling.

'The attic! Of course!' He smiled.

With his good hoof, Sterling grabbed the string and pulled, bringing down the stepladder. Sterling rushed upwards, intending to pull the stepladder up after him. But Erlenmeyer's unnatural speed allowed her to climb up right after him.

"Raargh!" She swung the chainsaw.

"Buck!" Sterling flung himself out of the way, but the blood loss affected his balance, and he landed roughly on his shoulder. "Arrrgh!"

Outside, Loveless, Ricochet, and the Hazards heard Sterling's scream.

“Sterling!” Loveless glanced up at the attic. He turned to Baker, “Hey, is there a way into the attic from the outside?”

“There’s a hatch on the roof. I can go get you a ladder!” Baker declared, ready to break into a sprint.

“There’s no time!” Loveless yelled. At the flick of a switch, his chair engaged its spider form.

“Whoa!” Cloak gaped, looking away from the door.

"I'm coming, Sterling!" Loveless yelled, his chair climbing the house.

Up in the attic, Sterling was practically helpless, too weak to move. Erlenmeyer descended upon him, smiling madly.

'This can't be happening.' Sterling thought, fear welling up in him. 'Not like this, please...'

Loveless suddenly came crashing in through the hatch, his chair landing in between them. With a push of a button, two gatling crossbows emerged from his chair.

"Okay, you freak, let's see you recover from this!" He roared, firing multiple bolts at Erlenmeyer.

"Yaaaarggghhh!" Erlenmeyer screeched, the bolts tearing into almost every inch of her body. Overcome with pain, she fell to the ground, unconscious.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Loveless snarled, overcome with a rage unlike any other, “You don’t get off that easily!”

Loveless started stomping on Erlenmeyer's body.

"How do you like that, huh?" He spat, stomping her over and over.

"That's enough!"

Baker emerged into the attic, Cloak having undone the lock.

"Don't kill her!" He pleaded. "It's not her fault! She's sick! Help your friend instead!"

Loveless looked at Sterling. The combination of terror and blood loss had put him into shock.

"Sterling..." He gasped. He pulled out his mirror. "Doc, get down here immediately! Your medical skills are needed!"

"I'll be right there!" Doc nodded.

Moments later, Loveless came down the attic's stairs, carrying Sterling on his lap. Baker was beside him, holding the badly beaten Erlenmeyer.

"Dad!" Dagger yelped.

"Miss Erlenmeyer..." Sweet Tea mumbled. "Is she okay?"

"She'll live." Baker nodded. "But Sterling may be a different story."

"Aw, jeez, Sterling..." Ricochet frowned, guilt all over his face.

"He's in bad shape..." Loveless admitted.

"I’m guessing because he’s missing this." Ricochet held up Sterling's missing hoof.

“Oh, dear…” Sweet Tea’s legs quivered, on the verge of fainting.

Doc rushed inside the guesthouse.

“I came as fast as I could, what happened- Lauren Faust!” Doc gasped, seeing Sterling’s hoof in Ricochet’s hoof.

“And who is this?” Dagger frowned, “Another friend we didn’t know about?”

“Now is not the time.” Loveless cast a sideways glare at her, then turned back to Doc, “Help him, Doc… please.”

"I'll do what I can." Doc held up his medical kit, “First off, Ricochet, I’m going to need Sterling’s hoof.”

“Uh, sure…” Ricochet cringed, as he gave it to him.

"Loveless, can you bring Sterling into the living room so I can get to work?" Doc continued.

"Of course." Loveless nodded.

"...I'll put Erlenmeyer somewhere safe." Baker said awkwardly.

While baker carried away Erlenmeyer's prone form, Ricochet approached Cloak.

"Hey, kid." He declared. "How ya holdin' up?"

"You guys aren’t insurance agents, are you?" Cloak asked, clearly unnerved by the day's events.

"Nope." Ricochet admitted.

"Then what are you?" Cloak asked.

"That's actually quite a story." Ricochet smiled. "Wanna hear it?"

"As long as it gets me away from this." Cloak threw a disturbed glance at Doc's work.

The two of them left the room together.

While Doc worked on Sterling, Loveless was waiting outside the living room with the family, fraught with anxiety. Next to him was Erlenmeyer, who was locked inside a chest Baker had fished out. She snarled and struggled, but could not escape. The remainder of the Baker family sat in silence, eyeing warily, not saying a word… until Baker spoke up.

“So… Loveless, is it?” Baker glanced at him, clearly not happy, “Would you mind telling me what in the hay is going on ‘round here? Because y’all sure as hell ain’t insurance salesponies!”

"I'll be asking the questions here." Loveless said coldly, locking glares with Baker. He was clearly in no mood for anypony’s nonsense, “I wanna know what some hillbilly family from the middle of nowhere doin’, holding a researcher captive for months on end?!”

“Look, it’s not as bad as it seems!” Baker retorted.

“Really?!” Loveless snarled, “My friend is in there, getting his hoof stapled back on, because the mare you were hiding went nuts and lobbed it off! What are you, a family of psychos?!”

“Now wait just a minute! I’m sorry about what happened to your friend, but we are not psychos!” Baker scowled.

“Then what could have possessed you to do all this?” Loveless demanded.

“...I don’t know.” Baker admitted, gripping the bridge of his snout, “You see, Erlenmeyer and her friends came to us a year ago from that company of theirs, asking to rent out our guest house for some research project that requires stuff from the bayou. They seemed like nice ponies, and they paid handsomely. And they were model guests… but then one day, there was some sort of falling out between Erlenmeyer and her co-workers, something about funds being pulled and them all getting laid off.”

"Her friends left shortly after, leaving Erlenmeyer all alone.” Sweet Tea recalled, “The poor thing had no job and was flat broke. We decided to let her stay awhile, and help her get back on her hooves. Things after that went smoothly for a time.”

“But then, one day, she didn’t come in for breakfast.” Baker frowned, “When she and her group first came here, they were insistent on not being disturbed, and even after her friends left, she wanted privacy still. But we were worried something had happened to her. So I went into our house, the place was a complete mess inside, which was weird, considering that she was always a tidy pony. Then I heard some noise down in the basement and when I went to go check it out, there I found her, destroying what I think was her lab, and acting like a rabid dog! I was barely able to contain her and knock her out with a wrench!”

“So… instead of going to a hospital, your idea was to lock her up in that cell?” Loveless scowled.

“We didn’t know what to do.” Sweet Tea stepped forth, “We had no idea what was wrong with her, but whatever it was, it turned her into…” She glanced at the chest, as Erlenmeyer let out another snarl. “...That. We feared that she might've caught something, and the last thing we wanted was for other ponies to catch it…”

“So you kept her here to contain what you thought was an outbreak?” Loveless raised a brow.

“That’s right.” Dagger admitted, “We ain’t proud of what we did, but if we had let her go free, she might had hurt somepony. That’s why daddy had Cloak put in that cell door and those locks.”

“It was our hope that whatever ailed Erlenmeyer would pass, and we could let her go…” Baker frowned, “But… it never did.”

“Hmph, well, thanks to your lapse in judgement, my friend almost died.” Loveless growled.

“I get it, alright?” Baker sighed, “We should had done the right thing. We never meant for anypony to get hurt… I was just trying to look out for my family and my home. As a father and a husband, I could do no less.”

Baker's words hit a tone with Loveless, sensing the sincerity within his voice.

“...I guess you couldn’t.” Loveless shook his head, calming down, “You didn’t know what you were dealing with, and I guess if anypony else were in you hooves, they would have done the same thing…”

“Well, apology accepted, I guess…” Baker gave a small nod.

“But you should all know that whatever befallen Erlenmeyer, it’s not contagious… it’s not even a disease.” Loveless revealed.

“What? How do you figure?” Dagger questioned.

“I have a theory.” Loveless explained, “Erlenmeyer here was developing a product that dealt with biological regeneration. I can only assume that, following the cutting of her funds and project and her friends’ abandonment, she was reduced to performing experiments on herself, such as testing her own serum.”

“Oh my… why would she do that?” Sweet Tea gasped.

“Who knows? She must have downed several trials worth of serums, causing her mind to lapse into these frenzies… where she got the enhanced physical capabilities is beyond me.” Loveless frowned.

“...Well, at least we know now she isn’t ill.” Baker murmured.

Suddenly, the living room’s door opened, as Doc walked out.

“Doc!” Loveless turned swiftly to face him, “How’s Sterling? Is he alright?!”

“I’ve done all I can.” Doc sighed, “I was able to get his hoof back on, but he has lost quite a bit of blood. We need to get Sterling to the infirmary for further medical treatment. I’ve already called our carriage pullers to bring a stretcher. They should be here any moment.”

"All things considered, he could have ended up a lot worse." Loveless grimaced. With a sigh, he pressed a button, extending two of his spider legs to grab Erlenmeyer’s chest, "Now, I think it's time we take our leave."

“Hey, what are you doing with Erlenmeyer?” Dagger asked.

“You see, Erlenmeyer was the reason we had come here.” Loveless said simply, “What we want with her and why is on the need to know basis.”

“Hey, wait a minute!” Dagger ran out in front of him.

“Dagger, don’t-” Baker tried to admonish.

“What is it now?” Loveless glared.

“Are you kiddin’ me?” Dagger snarled, “You lied to us! Broke into our guest house! And now you expect us to let you take Erlenmeyer? And you had the gall of calling us psychos?! We oughta call the cops on all of you!”

“Oh, please do.” Loveless scoffed, “But I wonder what the cops will be more interested in? A couple of ponies trespassing on private property? Or a family who kept a mare captive for several months against her will?”

“Wha-what? No… you wouldn’t dare…” Dagger stepped back.

“Just let them go, honey.” Baker ordered.

“But daddy!” Dagger protested.

“Look, it’s for the best. This family already has enough problems to deal with. With Erlenmeyer gone, it will be one less to worry about.” Baker stated solemnly. The hardness of his face clearly showed his distaste with the situation.

“But…” Dagger tried to make a rebuttal… but let out a huff of defeat.

“Thank you…” Loveless declared, “I apologize for any trouble we have caused you, but it is important that you forget you ever saw us. Keep quiet on what happened today, and you’ll never have to hear from us ever again. Ya hear?”

The Hazard family all nodded silently, Dagger glaring daggers at him.

“Good…” Loveless sighed, “Come on, Doc, let’s get Sterling home.”

"Of course." Doc nodded.

Loveless led the departure, carrying the chest containing Erlenmeyer, followed by Doc, the two carriage Pegasi (who came in and carried Sterling out on the stretcher).

"Hey, guys!" Ricochet caught up to them as they left the gates.

"Where have you been?" Loveless frowned.

"Just chattin' with that Cloak guy." Ricochet declared. "Y’know, he’s not all that bad."

"Chatting?" Doc asked. "Whatever about?"

"I'll tell ya about it on the way back." Ricochet shrugged.

As they made their way out of the bayou, Sterling groaned, clutching his now stapled on hoof, still bloodied from the dismemberment.

'You deserve a rest, old friend.' Loveless thought, glancing back at him. 'You definitely got the worst of it this time...'