Existential

by Rose Quill


Another Life?

I looked at the two ponies across the table from me as i shifted uneasily on the cushion. Sitting like this was a little odd, but I copied their posture.

“So,” the wom…mare said, her voice almost exactly like Mom’s. “You’re one of t’ponies that helped in that unpleasantness a little while back.”

I nodded. “Yes, ma’am,” I said quietly. “My name is Sunny Flare.”

The stallion chuckled, the rumbling sound reminding me of Dad. “I got to say it’s a first to hear someone call you Ma’am that didn’t report to you,” he laughed.

“Hush it,” she said, a twinkle in her eye. She looked back to me. “So why d’you want to talk to us? Nothing especially special ‘bout us, is there?”

For a moment, I thought I could see a faint mark on her neck that corresponded to the spot where the angry green bolt had struck her.

“I wanted to see you to make sure you were ok,” I started. “But also…” I hesitated.

“Don’t be shy,” Gleam rumbled. “We’re willing to listen.”

I looked down at my hooves, momentarily wondering just how I could feel anything through them.

“On my side,” I said. “I’m a student at a prestigious private school. I have a handful of friends, and I have a wonderful set of parents and a cranky cat named Ember.”

The mare frowned. “I don’t see what this has t’do with…”

“But here, I don’t think there’s another me,” I whispered. “And it makes me worry if I actually matter. If anything I do will actually make a difference.”

I looked at them.

“And I think that because on my side,” I finished. “Your counterparts are my parents, yet when we met, you acted like you didn’t recognize me. It took me a few moments to realize that you weren’t my parents, but it still hurt.”

The Unicorn glanced at her husband, surprise still in their eyes.

“If we did that, please, realize it wasn’t intentional,” she said. “We were on a task, and we weren’t particularly blessed with luxury time.”

“I know that,” I said. “I just wanted to know, do you have a daughter here? Do I exist on this side?”

They traded a long look, ending with the copy of my father looking at me.

“Do you know if you’re adopted or not?”

I laughed weakly. “As many times as Mom has put me to task by complaining about the number of hours she spent in labor with me, I think I’d know,” I said shaking my head. “There’s also photos that she keeps trying to burn since they show her in the delivery room.”

“Sounds like you,” Azure whispered.

“Hush it,” he returned. The easy back and forth was starting to feel familiar, like dinner banter back home. I felt the tension in my back start to ease.

“When I was younger,” Azure started off. “I had a bit of an accident while exploring. Broke my hip and ruined my chance of bearing young. It was devastating.”

“A few years ago, while she was out exploring, she found this little filly that was more or less on her own and brought her back,” Gleam continued. “Also got herself a few busted ribs for it. Officially, she’s been ours for three, almost four years now.”

Azure turned her smile on me, a sad look in her eyes. “I’m sorry, lass,” she said. “But as far as a Unicorn like you, you’re unique in my eyes.”

“I wish we had some better news for you, Sunny,” Gleam said. “But I’m afraid I’m not sure what we can do to help.”

I nodded, feeling a little hollow inside.

“Ma!” a voice called out, followed by a young filly not too much younger than myself trot in quickly. “Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom invited me to go to Sugar Cube Corner to watch Trixie’s next show. Can I go?”

“Sure you can, sprout,” Azure said smiling. “But firstly, be apologizing to Sunny Flare here f’interrupting our conversation.”

Yup, I thought. That’s Mom, alright.

The filly turned to me and gave me a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled in that way kids have. “How do you know my Ma and Da?”

I smiled, mind racing. “I’ve known them for a while,” I said. “They know my parents, so I thought while I was here I’d visit.”

“So you’re like my sister?” she asked.

“Cousin would be more like it,” Gleam said.

“No, no,” I said. “I’m fine with sister. Always wanted a sister, come to think of it.”

“River!” a voice called out from the hall. Are you coming or not?”

The young filly spun and looked out the door, then hugged her mom and dad.

And then me.

“I’ll be home for dinner,” she said as she headed for the door, waving at me as I sat there stunned.

“Looks like you gained some family on this side,” Azure said. “The sprout seems taken with you.”

I smiled, feeling a tear leak free.

“Yeah,” I said.

“Anytime you want, you can come visit,” Gleam said, touching on something I hadn’t even known. “We’d be glad to let you stay over.”

Just like Dad could.

“I think I might take you up on that,” I said.


I was staring out the window when Sunset walked in later and sat down on the couch recently vacated by the counterparts of my parents.

“So,” she started, crossing her forelimbs. “How’d it go?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Honestly, finding out that my parents here couldn’t have me was a little heart breaking, but I kind of gained a sister out of the whole ordeal.”

“Ah,” she said. “River is a precocious little tyke, isn’t she?”

“Certainly a little more lively than we were at that age.”

“Part of that is the culture differences,” she said. “Here, we tend to be independent a lot sooner in life than on the other side. River just got her cutie mark and in a couple years it’s likely she’ll be out living on her own. Twilight wasn’t much older when Celestia sent her here, and Applejack was only a few years older when she and Mac took over the apple farm.”

“She looks so young, though,” I said. “Thirteen at most.”

“Fourteen as near as we can trace it,” Twili…Sunshine said as she came in and settled next to Sunset. “This world still operates on a junior adult process for independence as opposed to the senior student process our world does.” She tilted her horn and tapped Sunset’s.

“Sunny here is twenty-six by Equestrian years, and by the math we’ve done it tracks that all of us are at least twenty by those standards,” she said. “Most of our friends here started following their cutie marks in their early to mid teens.”

I leaned back. “I suppose I understand,” I said, glancing out the window again, seeing a group of young ponies run by, bouncing a ball by them under supervision of a dark Unicorn with what looked like a broken horn. “You guys are so lucky, you know? This place looks so peaceful and idyllic.”

“It’s got its problem spots,” Sunset said. “But most of it fits that definition.”

I watched as the ball game passed over the hill and out of sight.

“Would it be ok to visit from time to time?” I asked. “I do have a little sister to visit, after all.”

The two ponies across from me glanced at each other and smiled.

“I think we can work something out,” Sunset said.