\|/-Her Highness's Hunters Campus-\|/
“Good to see each of you took the warning about arriving late to heart,” Bon Bon said to us from behind the lecture desk. Said desk had a lumpy, pointy object on top of it obscured by a blanket. “Hunting monsters is serious business; typically speaking, they aren't going to sit around and wait patiently for you to arrive before causing mayhem.”
An affirmative murmur passed through the room. Thunderhead’s expression somehow got even darker.
“Accordingly, we’re going to start your education by throwing you into the deep end. You're going to go through something this morning that I sincerely hope most ponies never have to deal with in their entire lives.
“Today, little ponies” – she yanked the blanket from the desk – “you face your worst nightmares.”
“A rock?” Steely Hoof observed.
On the lecture desk sat a smoky black crystal hooked up by a gold wire to a gold-inlaid, gem-studded plate of (what would have onety-four years ago been a prince’s ransom in) aluminum, and an on-off switch.
On the far right side of the desk sat a pile of bonbons, as well as several sets of mirrored, yellow-green-tinted wraparound sunglasses.
Bon Bon blinked at him.
“It is not just a rock, Steely Hoof. This,” she said, waving at the whole thing, “is a Sombran Nightmare Crystal hooked up to a Dark Magic Generation Array, or DaMaGe Array for short.
“Its function is, literally, to make your mind dredge up its deepest fears and live through them. Once it's powered, a pony looking at it will be locked into a nightmare scenario until either they break out of it, a physical shock jolts them out of it, or the crystal loses power.”
‘If you look around,’ Shadow, erm, said? 'you’ll notice a cornucopia of fear responses.
‘Even Bon Bon?’ I thought back at him as I scanned the ponies in the room. 'I find that a little hard to believe.’
‘Especially Bon Bon. A nightmare crystal, while a fascinating and useful device, is still one to be reckoned with. I’m a little surprised to see the Equestrian government has access to one, and puts it to use. The nightmare is a harrowing experience every time, and she clearly knows this. See how her ears are slightly drooping and her mouth is drawn, like a filly mentally recounting all of the sweets she’s eaten since her last dentist appointment? A healthy amount of dread.’
I could kinda see it, now that he pointed it out.
‘Okay,’ I acknowledged. ‘What about him?’ I thought, looking at Thunderhead.
‘False bravado. Puffed-up chest, mantled wings—subconsciously trying to scare the crystal right back by making himself look bigger. And I don't even need to be able to read his lips to tell he is trying to psych himself up.
‘Golden Gleam? Tight as a bowstring. Well, moreso than usual. There is a mare who’s seen some things she wishes she hadn't.’
‘And Steely Hoof?,’ I interjected. 'He looks more relaxed than ever.’
He’d practically melted into his seat, or so it looked to me.
‘He’s about as afraid as everypony else. His response is to try to force himself to relax, or at least appear relaxed. But I can still detect extra tension, and he's trying too hard besides.
‘And then there's you, trying to keep yourself distracted even as you vibrate like you need to use the little filly’s room.’
I stopped jittering. Mostly.
“Some of you may have encountered magical fear effects in the past. While the experience will be different, you go about fighting one such effect in much the same ways as you do another. Some ponies remember what they're fighting for. Some ponies think happy thoughts. Some ponies focus on their faith and hope. Some ponies clear their mind and calm themselves. Some ponies” – she smirked – “even manage to power through it on a wave of spite and contempt.
“It doesn't matter much which way you pick, as long as you have a few ways that work for you when there's a vampire staring you in the eyes,” she said as her gaze drifted to me.
She donned a pair of the yellow-green glasses and said, “These sunglasses are your first official piece of monster-hunting gear. The 'glass’ part is green sapphire. Between the material, the color, the polarization, and the mirror finish, you should be safe from any sort of gaze-based attack you’ll ever encounter. Note that this only counts for as long as you are actually wearing them; I’ve seen more than my fair share of statues of ponies who were lifting their sunglasses to get a better view. Also, if you manage to scratch the lenses and not just the coatings, then congratulations! You are literally fighting a monster made out of diamonds, or possibly some manner of corundum crystal.
“Golden Gleam, if you would pass them out to your teammates so we can begin—”
Goldenrod nimbuses… nimbi? Clouds of magic engulfed the glasses and set them, gently and precisely, on each of our faces.
“Thank you, Gleam.
“Now, this exercise is called a nightmare run, but that's something of a misnomer: there won't be any actual running involved.” She paused to let me and Steely Hoof supply some weak chuckles. “Anyhow, this is a standard exercise for ponies who want to defend Equestria from things that go bump in the night. As your leader, it's only right that I go first as an example.”
She walked over to the DaMaGe array and flicked the on-switch, causing sickly purple, black, and green light to crackle down the gold wires and into the black crystal. She tossed a stopwatch to Steely Hoof and said, “Since I know I can rely on you to keep track of time with precision, I want you to give us the time from when my eyes open to the time they stop glowing.”
“Yes, ma’am!” he said, snapping off a salute.
Bon Bon turned to the crystal, which was now bubbling with purple energy, removed her green sapphire glasses, opened her eyes, and froze.
Her eyes were wide open, the whites glowing bright green around tiny red pupils. She took a sharp breath as the glow faded and she set her glasses back on her face. Then she turned the device off, unwrapped a bonbon, and popped it into her mouth in one smooth motion.
She had a relieved look on her face, like the one Dinky gets when I put lidocaine on one of her cuts. Also like Dinky, that look was gone in an eyeblink.
“Time, Steely?”
“Two point seven four seconds,” he said, tossing the stopwatch back over.
“Huh,” she said, looking at the watch. “Guess I’ve let my training slip.
“Regardless, I’m not expecting times that fast from you four, especially on your first day.”
Steely’s hoof shot up.
“Question, Steely?”
“What's special about that bonbon ya just ate?”
“Nothing really,” she said with a slight smirk, “except that I made it.”
That'd always been special enough for me.
“Good question, though. As for the implied part of your question, eating food – especially chocolate – helps you recover from both normal and magical fear. You’ll want to bring some with you on missions for when you have a chance to take a breather.
“Any other questions?” she asked, scanning the room.
I raised my hoof.
“Yes, Derpy?”
“What did ya see in there?”
“I’d rather not say,” she said, stonefaced. Then she softened. “I can tell you, though, that there weren't any monsters.
“One more thing before we begin: In the event you see something disturbing during a mission or in training, we’re keeping a counselor on-campus on Luna's pip. You can visit Miss Quiet Mind for free anytime you're not supposed to be hunting monsters or training.”
She scanned the room again.
“Seeing as there are no more questions, let's begin. Any volunteers to go first?”
After about two seconds of silence, Golden Gleam rose from her cushion and marched to the demonstration desk with a sort of smooth, clockwork grace.
She nodded to Bon Bon, set her glasses on the table, and looked into the nightmare crystal as it began to glow.
She froze, and her eyes did the same thing Bon Bon’s had, but for a lot longer.
After half a minute of breathless silence, Bon Bon glanced at the stopwatch, slapped Gleam’s glasses back on, cut the power, and said “Thirty-six seconds. You're dead.” as Gleam flopped to the floor.
Then her face softened again as she helped Golden Gleam back up. “Take two candies. They're good for you.”
Gleam took two bonbons in her levitation aura, nodded her thanks, and then haltingly, eyes unfocused, made her way back to her seat by her brother.
Steely Hoof wrapped her in a one-armed hug (with his non-metal hoof), and she melted into it, slowly nibbling her bonbons.
Bon Bon cleared her throat to get our attention back.
“If you have an ally whose glasses fall off and they become frozen in magical fear, there are a few ways to break them out. In descending order of preference: put their glasses back on, give them a strong physical shock, get rid of the source of the effect, or donate your own glasses. That last option is far from ideal, unless you're really good at fighting with your eyes closed.
“This isn't light stuff we’re putting you through, but we're not training you to face things we could just sic the EUP or the ‘Royal Guard’ on, after all. I made it through my nightmare that fast because I’m a veteran. I’ve seen a lot of things in my time, and, more importantly, I know how to deal with them. These nightmare runs will get easier the more you do them, just like the rest of your training exercises.”
She blinked and looked at the ceiling for a second as she took a breath. “If you want to drop out, you can do so without penalty. You won't be easy to replace, though.
“Now, seeing the looks on your faces, I’m going to save you the trouble of volunteering and just call out names as I see fit. Steely Hoof?”
“Yes’m?” he said, looking up from his sister for a second.
“You get to go last. Derpy, you're up!”
‘Welp, might as well get this over with,’ I thought as I stood up and walked to the desk.
‘Remember, my host: If all else fails, I’ll still be there with you in the end.’
And then I nodded to Bon Bon, removed my glasses, and looked into the crystal as it began to bubble with purple energy—
\|/-???-\|/
I was walking up to my house while being buffeted by thick fog, and I couldn't hear a sound except for my own hooves on the paving stone walkway. Even that was quickly swallowed up by the featureless white.
The door was off its hinges.
Dreading what I’d find inside, I trudged through the fog and nosed my way past the door. On the other side was a very unwelcome surprise.
“How good of you to finally join me, Derpy my sweet,” my ex-husband said. He was the same pale red as before, but even more gaunt and skeletal than I remembered. “I love the new place, by the way, even if it does have far too much window space for my personal tastes.”
I stared at him for a couple seconds before I recovered.
“You're dead. I dropped you off a mountain,” I pointed out.
“The proper term is undead,” he said through a fang-baring sneer. “You never were too bright.
“But yes, that little tumble I took did cost me quite a lot of –” he ran his tongue over his red-stained fangs “– mmh, blood.”
Fresh blood. My house. No…
“Where's Dinky. Where's my slaughter,” I demanded.
“Our daughter? Such a polite little thing, unlike her mother. I can only wonder where she gets it from. She saw how thirsty Daddy was after all that blood loss and, well…”
He moved aside, revealing a shriveled, purple corpse. Like a fuzzy, filly-shaped raisin.
My blood froze, my wide eyes aligned, and a pit opened up in my stomach.
‘This isn't real This isn't real This can’t be real!’
‘You're right. What will you do about it?’
I let my head slump near the floor and flared my wings out, like I was bowing.
“A shame she didn't get to witness our reunion for herself. I did so enjoy having a daughter. I suppose we could always make another one, one way or another,” he said, stalking towards me.
I bowed deeper, disguising my disgust as a fearful shudder.
“Ya know, Railroad Spike,” I said quietly, letting my eyes unfocus, “I’ve been friends with predatahs befoah. Beautiful creatures, if a... little scary at first. They look at livestock the way you look at ponies. Especially pigs. One told me that with a pig, ya have ta bleed every last drop of blood out a’ them after they’re swilled, or they'll go bad.”
The vampire moved closer, to better hear me.
‘Just a little bit closer…’
“I’m curious how this little anecdote relates to the situation at-hoof. Is this your clumsy attempt at saying you want to try starting over with me? Because if so, I’m listening.”
“Well, to tell ya the truth, it's about a mistake I made when we met... last time,” I whispered.
“Yes?”
He was practically breathing down my neck.
‘Even if I can’t keep Dinky safe… doesn’t mean I can't save anypony!’
“Yeah,” I said. “This time, ya won't have enough blood left to feed a mosquitah, you pig!”
Then I thrust my wings down and slammed my head up into his chin, and the world shattered.
\|/-Her Highness's Hunters Campus-\|/
“Seven point two seconds. Not bad, even if this isn't your first rodeo. Eat this and take a seat.”
A bon bon popped into my open mouth, and the tension melted out of my back and wings as the confusion at standing at the front of a classroom drained from my mind. It was like waking up from a vivid dream.
Huh. I guess that's why they call it a nightmare crystal.
I made it back to my seat to watch the rest of the team do their own nightmare runs. Thunderhead made his in onety-four seconds, and Steely Hoof made his in onety.
“Okay, ponies,” Bon Bon shouted after Steely's run, “I’m giving you the rest of the hour off, as well as the next one so you have some time to recover and have a snack. I expect to see you on the field for warm-ups at onety-three-hundred hours, sharp! Enjoy your break, everypony.”
‘Thanks for the help, Shadow.’
‘What do you mean, my host? All I did was say a few words. You would have made it through in a few more seconds, at most.’
I could feel the smugness. He exudes it whenever he feels like he’s made a point.
‘Yeah, yeah, you're helpful, and could very well save my neck like that. I still don't want the “other services” you’ve offered.’
The smugness remained, but he didn't say anything else.
As we were trickling out of the room, I noticed Golden Gleam standing still by her seat, and walked over to her.
“You okay, Golden Gleam? Anything I can do to help?”
She let out a sigh before turning her head to face me with a weak smile. “I’ll be… I’ll be fine. At least in time for the next block of trainin’.”
“You're sure you don't want to talk about it? I could tell ya about mine.”
“Really? Seems like you’re hardly afraid of anything, way you blazed through your nightmare run,” she said, eyes downcast. “I’m sure you don’t want ta hear about mah… failure.”
With one of my eyes, I saw her gaze briefly flick to Steely Hooves.
“Mine involved family, too, if that helps,” I said.
She let out another sigh like a deflating beach ball. “Lucky guess,” she said.
“Not so plucky. I just see a lot, with these crazy eyes of mine.” I rolled my eyes out of sync with each other, earning an amused snort from Gleam.
“Don’t that hurt none?” she asked.
“Not really. They just kinda came untethered from each-otha when I was a filly, and I adopted.”
I flashed her a goofy smile.
“Well,” she said, “I might be willin’ ta talk about it later over drinks just…” she trailed off, before continuing in a whisper, “not with Steely in the room, okay?”
The smile she returned was just a bit more genuine than her last one.
“Sure. Hit me up sometime after I’ve put Dinky ta bed, and we'll stop by Berry's together.”
“Berry’s?”
“It’s a bar in Ponyville where they give government workers a discount. Really needed that discount some days. It's got a nice atmosphere, too, and it's not too loud.”
“I think I’ll take you up on that sometime soon, Derpy,” she said as she started moving towards the door. “In the meantime, I need ta find a snack.”
On hearing that, I dove into my saddlebags.
“Muffin?”