Author's Note: And now for the trilling conclusion to... Actually, this isn't the conclusion to anything. This is just the second half of the last chapter. ...I have nothing to say, so let's move on with the story.
The children of Ponyville are quickly becoming stronger and stronger as the amount of ponies among the streets of Ponyville dwindles. Even members of our own group are falling in bunches now. It's actually pretty embarassing to be honest.
Monsters from the Everfree Forest? Piece of cake. All nine floors of Tartarus, as well as Cerberus? No sweat. An army of power-crazed school children? Now that right there is too much for us.
*facehoof* What is this world coming to?
Even though I'm not technically captured, I may as well be since Vine tied Atom and me to the chairs. Ugh, could this get any worse?
Actually, yes, it can. Because right now Applejack and Rainbow Dash are walking together through town. How is that worse you ask. Well, just sit back and watch.
"Ah really hope those two come to their sense on this." Applejack says to Dash. "It's plum foolish of them to be actin' like this. Friends are supped to be able to forgive each other, no matter what."
"I hear ya." Dash says. "Like that time when you and I fought on who was the better athlete."
"Exactly. Petty things like that can be solved with just a lil' talkin' and some apologies. Ah mean, all Blue really needs to do is say he's sorry."
"Well, it's not all Blue's fault. Atom did get pretty worked up over just a pair of shades."
Applejack stops in her tracks. "Just a pair o' shades?"
Dash stops and looks at her. "Yeah, that's what I said."
"Do ya have any idea what those shades meant to him?" she asks angrily.
Dash herself starts getting abrasive. "No, but I don't think he had any right to get so upset over something that was just an accident."
AJ stomps. "If yer coltfriend had been more careful, it wouldn't even have happened!"
Dash stomps herself. "Well, if YOUR coltfriend had any skills, he wouldn't have gotten hit in the first place!"
The two continue to argue about Atom and I arguing, which is a HUGE help by the way, as the Cutie Mark Crusaders come around the corner, hearing some yelling going on.
"I think I heard it coming from over here." Sweetie Belle says as she rounds the corner with the others behind her.
They look over at the source of the yelling and are surprised by what they see. "Is that Applejack-" Apple Bloom says.
"And Rainbow Dash arguing?" Scootaloo finishes.
Apple Bloom sighs. "Well, whether or not it is them, we have to do our job as town guards."
"Right." the others say.
They approach the two arguing mares and Apple Bloom steps inbetween them. "Alright, alright. That's quite enough."
They look at the fillies in confusion. "Apple Bloom, what are ya'll doin'?"
"We've assigned ourselves the new town guards after all that stuff Atom taught us."
"Yeah, and we heard you two arguing." Scootaloo says. "Sorry, Rainbow Dash, but we're gonna have to take you in for disturbing the peace." she grabs her by a leg.
Apple Bloom does the same to her sister. "You too, Applejack."
The two of them give each other questioning looks before smiling and deciding to go along with it. "Alright, Cutie Mark Crusader Guards, take us to prison." Dash says.
"Okay. Sweetie Belle, we'll take these two in, ya'll stay around here and see what ya can find."
She gives Apple Bloom a salute. "You got it."
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom take their two newest "criminals" as Sweetie Belle continues to go on a solo patrol.
While all the kids around town look for "law breakers", Graze desperately searches around for Ditzy, having seen no sign of her and thinking bad may have happened to her.
"Oh, where could that mare be?" he asks as he looks around. "She'd tell me if she wasn't gonna be around."
As Sweetie Belle patrols by herself, she notices Graze looking around frantically.
She decides to walk up to him. "Hey, Graze. What are you doing?"
"Oh, hey, Sweetie Belle. Just looking for something."
'Hmm, that's a bit suspicious. What could Graze be looking for? I've also always wondered why he always wears that full body suit. He must be hiding something.' she thinks to herself.
She grabs him by a hoof. Hey, what the?"
"Graze, I'm going to be taking you in for questioning."
"For what?"
"On accounts of suspicious activities."
"Sweetie Belle, I'm only looking for Ditzy. I can't find her anywhere." he says as he pulls away from her.
A thought creeps into her head. "Really? I know where she is."
"Really? You do?" his eyes narrow at her. "This isn't some kind of trick, is it?"
"Nope, I promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye." she says with doing the motions.
"Why does everypony keep doing that?"
"Pinkie Pie grows on you, whether you want her to or not."
He thinks about it for a moment before shrugging. "Yeah, that sounds right. Well, I believe you, so let's go."
Sweetie Belle motions for Graze to follow her to where Ditzy is: their prison, where she also secretly plans to "take him in for questioning".
(How many times have I used air quotes for this stuff? Answer correctly and you win a prize. A slow clap and a congratulations by yours truly.)
If even Graze was tricked that easily, I don't have much faith in the others.
Having left Sweetie Belle behind, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo take Dash and AJ down to Sweet Apple Acres to be captured. They reach to the outskirts of the orchard and get there to find Snips and Snails guarding the clubhouse. I'm sorry, prison.
Snips wakes up from sleeping as he sees them approach. "Oh, they're coming."
"Huh, wha?" Snails says, barely awake. Snips throws a rock at his head, snapping him awake. "Oh!"
They salute as the girls walk passed them up the steps. "Ladies."
The fillies nod, but the mares look at each other a bit worriedly.
As the girls open the door, they reveal a room filled with hogtied ponies. “What in tarnation is all this?” Applejack shouts.
“We weren‘t kiddin‘ when we said we were arrestin‘ ponies. They‘re tied up so they can‘t escape.” AB explains..
“And no we’re gonna tie up you two.” Scootaloo says.
“What the hy?!” Dash shouts.
“Get ‘em!”
Before AJ or Dash can even react, Snips and Snails sneak up behind the two mares and tie them both up. With them taken care of, they leave the clubhouse and head back down.
“Great work, you two.” AB says to the two colts.
“Yeah, but I think the prison is getting a bit crowded.” Scootaloo says. “Did you se how packed that floor was?”
“We could try moving them all over to the barn.” Snails says.
“Snails, that is-”
“A brilliant idea!” AB says, cutting Snips off. “Good going, Snails.”
The four kids head over to the barn to inspect it. They reach the large, red building and open the swinging doors.
Big Macintosh, having been inside the barn, doing his daily chores, looks as the door opens, revealing the kids.
“Apple Bloom?” he asks. "What are ya’ll up to?"
She looks at her brother and brings out a length of ribbon. “Sorry about this Big Mac, I’ll make it up to ya later.”
Big Mac’s eyes go wide as the foals slowly approach him. One hogtied red stallion later and the kids exit the barn looking satisfied.
(Stop thinking like that.)
"Snips and Snails."
"Yeah? We mean, yes, ma'am?" they say to AB, catching themselves.
"We'll take over guard duty and move the others into the barn. Ya'll are now on patrol duty."
"Haha, you said doody." Snails laughs.
"You got it, Apple Bloom." Snips says with a salute. "Come on, Snails. We've got patrolling to do."
Snips pulls his much taller and skinnier to follow him as they head off into Ponyville. Now I'm getting that feeling I got with Truffle Shuffle and Featherweight again, only even dumber. Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber.
Aren't are I so nice? I'm just kidding. I'm not that mean... most of the time.
"What exactly are we looking for, Snips?" Snails asks him.
"We're looking for anything that could be suspicious or against the law." he replies.
"Well, what about that Fluttershy mare? She lives by the Everfree Forest. That's pretty creepy. And why does she have so many animals?"
Snips gasps before leaning his hooves against him. "Snails, your genius is showing again?"
"Where?!" he says as he quickly crosses his legs.
Ignoring that, they head down to the other side of town to Fluttershy's cottage. The two colts make the log walk all the way from Sweet Apple Acres to the Everfree Forest, all the way on the opposite side of town.
Sounds fun.
They eventually reach the dirt path that leads right up to the cottage, huffing and puffing from all the walking. They slowly walk up to the cottage and knock on the door.
Fluttershy answers a door a moment later and looks at the exhausted colts. "Oh my, would you both like some water?"
Snips wipes his head and clears his throat. "No thanks. We're fine,"
"I could actually go for a-"
"Shh!" Snips hushes Snails before turning back to Fluttershy.. "We're actually here on official business."
Fluttershy curiously tilts her head. "What kind of official business?"
“We’re here to arrest you account of suspicious behavior!” he says, trying to sound intimidating, but failing due to his nasally voice.
Fluttershy’s expression drops. “Arrest? Me? I didn’t know I was doing anything bad. Honest!”
“Tough tulips, lady!”
Fluttershy starts to break down, tears brimming on the edges of her eyes. “I…I…”
Snips and Snails start feeling guilty as they look at the fragile mare on the brim of weeping. They look at each other as they try to think of a solution.
“Hey, Fluttershy?”
“Y-Yes?” she says, sniveling.
“How’s about instead of arresting you, you could join us in the guard?”
She gives a weak smile. “R-Really?”
“Sure, I’m sure the others wouldn’t mind.”
Rhino walks in up from behind Fluttershy. “Okay, Fluttershy. I think that toucan should be just fine. Just keep some ice on it’s tongue to reduce swelling on the bee stings and-” he stops as he notices Snips and Snails. “Fluttershy, what’s going on?”
“Oh, I’m just joining Snips and Snails in their new town guard.”
“What?!” he says in shock. “Fluttershy, that’s crazy.”
Snails turns toward the forest as he hears some noise. He looks over to see Vine coming out with Ciel, her having gone back home to grab the pet before returning to work.
“Ah It’s the crazy witch lady!” he shouts as he ducks behind Snips.
“Ah! You’re right!” Snips shouts back.
Vine raises an eyebrow at them. “Crazy witch lady? I’m not crazy or a witch!”
“Yeah, you are! What kind of pony lives in the Everfree?”
“And mixes weird potions?”
“And has a pet… THING?!”
Vine glares at them. “It’s called an ooze, and it has feelings. Isn’t that right, Ciel?” she says as she pets it.
“I say we take her, Snips.”
“Agreed.”
“WHAT?!”
“Um, Vine, maybe you should just go with them” Fluttershy timidly says. “If you don’t mind that is.”
“Fluttershy, this is ridiculous.” Rhino says.
“I think we should take in the big guy too. He might try to stop the guard.”
“You can’t be serious!”
“Rhino, please just go with them?” Fluttershy says in a cute tone. She pouts as she starts giving him puppy dog eyes.
Rhino is unable to to hold his position as he caves under Fluttershy’s look. Vine doesn’t last much longer as Fluttershy also convines her to just go.
Okay, I have officially lost all hope if even the two most level-headed members of our group were captured. I don’t have much faith in Drax, Ice, or Dark..
Speaking of Drax, right now he and Spitfire are leaving the gym after a daily work out session. Did I mention the gym doesn’t have running water at the moment? Blame the owner for not paying his bills. Now they stink like sweat.
As they walk, Pipsqueak and Twist also patrol around the same area. Big coincidence, right? Ugh. *facehoof*
Pipsqueak stops as he smells something foul. “Ew. What is that?”
Twist stops as she too sniffs at the air. “Bleck! It smells terrible.” she looks at where the smell seems to be emanating from She points a hoof. “There it is!”
They dash across the street as they cut off Drax and Spitfire. “Halt!”
“Oh, hey, kids. What’s up?” Drax says in a friendly tone.
“Sorry, Drax, but you two smell awful.”
“We do?” he sniffs at Spitfire before covering his nose. “Pew! You really do stink.”
“Hey, you’re not exactly Mr. Squeaky Clean either.” she retorts.
As the couple argues, Twist looks up to see Ice sliding around on his ice slide. “Pip, you take care of these two. I’ve got another perp to catch.”
“Roger that, Twist.”
Twist falls the cool pony from down below as Ice heads straight to The Sleepy Stallion bar.
The blue stallion cuts off his sliding as he lands down and steps inside. He heads inside and meets Fern and Thunderlane up front.
“Hey, guys.” he says.
“Hey, Ice. Glad to see ya here, buddy.” Thunderlane greets.
“Yeah, want your usual cider?” Fern asks.
“You bet.”
“Alright, coming right up.” Fern grabs a mug and goes over to the cider tap as she fills the mug to the top with the golden, appley liquid.
Ice takes it from her magical grasp and takes a swig. “So, how have you guys been?”
“Pretty good, but most of my normal customers aren’t showing up.”
“Yeah, it’s been like a ghost town in here all day.”
“Huh. I wonder why that is.”
Before they all can continue chatting, Twist comes into the bar and gallops up to the front where she takes a seat to get up to their level.
“Ice, you’re under arrest for abusing your powers!”
“Say what?!”
“Hey, kids aren’t supposed to be in here!” Fern says.
Twist glares at her. “And you’re under arrest for selling a dangerous drink to ponies!”
“But this stuff is perfectly legal.” Thunderlane points out.
She points at him. “And you’re under arrest for aiding and abetting a criminal. All of you, come with me.”
I think Twist is getting a bit too into this.
All the ponies decide to go along with it despite the fact they have no real reason to… bucking morons.
Over in town, Truffle Shuffle walks the streets as he goes on a solo search for ponies. Nothing happens until-
“How many times do I gotta tell ya not to hog your book!” Dark shouts at a light brown colt named Lickety Split.
“S-Sorry, Mr. Dark Lightning sir. It won’t happen again.” Lickety says, filled with fear.
Dark snatches the book from him and brings out a shocking hoof. “It better not, or else!”
Lickety split goes off lickety split(oh, my puns are getting even worse) as Dark chuckles to himself before walking off. “I love my job.”
Truffle decides to follow Dark back to the library, knowing as well as everypony else how bad Dark is. He silently follows the black pegasus back to the giant tree as he knocks on the door once the coast is clear.
Dark answers it and looks down at the chubby colt. “Huh. I didn’t know they were letting colts sell filly scout cookies these days.”
“Actually, I’m here to arrest you on charges of bullying ponies unfairly.” he explains.
“What?!”
Twilight walks up behind Dark, having heard the conversation. “I warned you you were being too hard on ponies.”
“Actually, Ms. Twilight, your arrested too for library being a huge fire hazard.”
Spike laughs at the both of them. “Haha, sucks for you guys.”
“And Spike too for also being a fire hazard.”
The dragon’s eyes widen. “What?! I’m not a fire hazard!” he then belches, making a flame come out. He gives a nervous chuckle as he blushes.
Dark growls. “No way am I going to jail just because of some snot-nosed, little-”
“Oh, come on, Dark. He is only doing his job.” Twilight says. “What’s the worse that could happen?”
She’s going to eat those words.
Dark takes a heavy sigh before agreeing to go, if not for the only reason being Twilight said to.
Okay, that’s it, we’re officially screwed now. Game over, man! GAME OVER!
Author's Note: Why was this chapter so late? ...DON'T QUESTION ME, THAT'S WHY! But hopefully the length made up for it.