//------------------------------// // Friends // Story: The New Normal // by TheMixtapeHorse //------------------------------// The dining car bustled with life as everyone began taking their seats for dinner. Max and Katie weaved through the small crowd to one of the booths, scooted in, and made themselves comfortable. Outside, the autumn sky glowed a beautiful amber red as the cornfields of Nebraska whizzed by. The scene reminded Max of a road trip he and his family once went on. He could feel himself in the leather seat of his mom’s Subaru, watching a never-ending horizon of grains slide past, only broken by the occasional road sign. He could feel the air conditioning blowing into his face and he could hear the snoring of his little sister in the back. Max snapped back to reality when Katie placed her hoof on his. “Max?” she said gently. “Are you okay?” He kept his hoof still as his heart fluttered. “Huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah.” He sighed and closed the curtain. “Corn makes me feel melancholy.” “Corn?” she snorted. Max rolled his eyes. “I grew up around the stuff, remember?” “How could I not?” Katie chuckled. “You remind me all the time, country boy.” “I’m not a country boy…” Max mumbled, crossing his forelegs. That’s when Max caught a glimpse of a familiar face. A pegasus a couple tables down from them was talking to a mare. It took a few moments for Max to remember, but when he did, he didn’t skip a beat. “Holy shit, Katie. It’s that guy from the bar.” Max said staring him down. “What guy? The donkey?” Katie turned around and scanned the car until she spotted him. “Isn’t that the singer that decked you?” The dark gray pegasus looked up from his table and froze, seeing Max glare at him from across the car. He got up from his seat and made his way to the couple, his walk affected by the gentle sway of the train. Once close enough, he pointed his right wing at the earth pony. "You... you…” “Hey, hey, hey,” Max said, retreating further into the booth. “We don’t want any trouble.” “...have a very hard head” he deadpanned. With his back against the wall, Max’s muscles locked into place. Katie’s horn glowed as she levitated a table lamp behind the stallion’s head, ready to defend her friend. "Did you know, my wrist hates your head?” the stallion declared, staring down the terrified earth pony. “What in hell were you doing getting in the way of my swing, anyhow?" he asked, shaking his right hoof gingerly. The couple glanced at each other then back at the rambling pegasus. "Cost me a bit to get it healed. Fortunately, I get discount rates at Vegas General." he then turned and smiled at Katie. "This your fella?" “Uh…” Katie squeaked. “This… is my friend, Max, yeah.” "Good." the stallion said. "Thought so. Now, what in the name of sweet tarnation are you doing on this train going to Chi-town?" He then shakes his head, letting his multicolored mane fly about some. "Weren't you at the show with him a couple weeks back?" “...yeah?” Katie muttered, still at a loss for words. “You’re… not here to kick my ass for breaking your wrist?” Max said, still just as stunned by the loquacious pony. "No, why? Do you think I should?" the stallion fired back before smiling at the two. "I got a good reason why I shouldn't. The wife is now manifesting a ten-inch cast iron skillet over my tuchis, ready to strike if I do.” He moved closer to their table to let a waitress pass by. “But where are my manners? I'm Hal Sleet, frontman of the Dippy Hippies, afternoon radio host at Retro Radio Two, and adjutant to General Blue Blizzard, head of the Nevada Aeronautical Survey, in no particular order." Max cautiously extended his hoof for a hoof shake. “Well uh… Nice to meet you. I’m Max, and this is Katie.” Katie floated the table lamp back to the table behind them and started giggling like a filly. “That’s an impressive resume, George Carlin.” Hal shrugged. “So, ya found out my dirty secret. He was my favorite comedian while going through Beep school, way back when.” Without looking back, he said, “Raven, put that pan down and come join us.” “Well that answers my question,” Katie said with a smile. “Nice to meet another returnee. I bet I’m the first one in a long time that’s got that reference, huh?” “I don’t remember any George Carlin skits like that,” Max said with a raised brow. “That’s cause you’ve only seen his stand-up acts,” Katie said with a playful shove. “I’ve been a weather geek since I was a kid. Me, the hippy dippy weather pony.” Hal said, giving his head a shake, allowing his multi-colored mane to fly around some. “I thought it fit.” “Hal, one of these days, you’ll stop being so bizarre and actually show some sense,” said a black unicorn with a lavender horn and mane, coming up alongside Hal. “But, where’s the fun in that, Raven?” Hal asked innocently. Raven’s horn flared a pale violet, and a frying pan waved menacingly in the air. “What is this, some kind of eighties sitcom?” Max stated, seeing the frying pan waving about. “Where the hell did you get a frying pan?” Katie asked bewildered. The frying pan disappeared as Hal looked suitably chastised. “Maybe someday I will show you. Meanwhile, I’m Professor Raven Blacklight, of the ULV College of Magic and Fine Arts, and the wife of this loudmouthed, long-winded pain in the ass husband of mine who I will not let go of no matter how hard he tries,” she said, leaning against Hal. Hal looked down at the table. “Dammitall, twenty years of effort down the sanitary tanks…” he sighed, but with an impish twinkle in the eye facing Raven. “Anyway, who are you two?” Raven asked. “I’m Max and this is Katie,” Max stated, finally letting out a smile. He looked between Katie and Raven, noticing their striking similarity: light charcoal colored and violet maned unicorns. “Wow… Katie, you look like a mini her.” Katie blinked and looked at her reflection in the window. “No, I don’t! My mane is a darker and longer…” “You take yours, I take mine, and meet you at the bar?” Hal said to Max with a Groucho Marx voice and leer. Max looked at Hal with a tilted head and a stupid look. Katie rolled her eyes and placed her hoof on his again. “He’s fucking oblivious. You gotta be literal with this dork,” she said, looking at Max with a soft smile. The young stallion swallowed and looked back up at Hal. “So uh… What?” Hal sighed. “Okay, plan B.” He looked at Max. “Shall we let the ladies talk while we head over to the bar car for a couple of drinks?” “But, Hal, you don’t drink,” Raven said, a little surprise in her eyes. “No, but I can fake it well enough.” Raven rolled her eyes and looked at Katie. “So, can we join you, or shall we let the boys be boys while we take control of the situation? Hal, you’re sixty-two years old and you still have yet to grow up!” “Part of my charm,” he said. Raven’s horn flared as the skillet appeared and whacked him one upside the head with an audible clang before dissipating. “Hey!” Both Max and Katie groaned as if they were on the receiving end of a bad joke. “Well, if I was a sixty year old with magic, I’d probably be making a bunch of soap opera gags too,” Max said to Katie with a smirk. “Think you’ll be alright here with your clone?” Katie’s horn glowed, pushing Max out of the booth. “Go get drunk with your bar fight buddy. I haven't had proper girl talk in forever.” Max huffed and got onto his hooves. “Fine, fine. Meet you back at the room.” Raven glared at Max as he got out of the booth. “I am not past sixty! I’m eleven years younger than my husband!” she snapped. “Not to mention four months pregnant with our third…” Hal slipped in before getting a look from Raven that would shut up a phonograph. “You’ve had kids as a pony?” Katie asked, surprised. “I’ve got a lot of questions to ask you.” Max chuckled as he and Hal started walking down the aisle of the diner car toward the door to the lounge car, slipping amongst the tables and other passengers as they made their way to the front door of the car. Hal pulled the handle aside. “After you,” he mumbled, gesturing with a wing through the space between cars, the rumble and clank of the wheels along the tracks much louder with the door open. Once across the enclosed gap, they walked into the lounge area. It was similar to the dining car in design but consisted of comfortable sofas and loungers, as well as a large bar. Max climbed up onto one of the stools and rested his hooves on the counter. “So… how bout that weather?” he muttered, attempting to break the ice. “Remember, all you pegasi out there, it does no good to do something about the weather, talk to Nassie if you want something done!” Hal said in his official radio announcer voice. “Or would you like the bit about a line of thunderstorms and Russian missiles?” He looked up at the bartender. “Two drafts, please,” he ordered, putting a tenner on the bar from his outer saddlebag pocket. “You’ve got quite the voice for radio, you know that?” Max said while flashing a half smile. “Been with Las Vegas Retro Radio Two for six-plus years now. Afternoon drive. Two to six weekdays. Not for the next couple weeks, though.” Hal snorted as he waited for his beer. “Damn Blizz sends me to do his dirty work....” “Oh. You’re on the old people station,” he said with a laugh. “I only ever listen to Evolution Radio One. 90s to the Event.” Hal shivers some at those words. “Radio One… all the modern stuff. At least DJ Mixtape is a decent pony.” He then looked at Max. “Old ponies station? What do you consider Radio Three? The lead singer of the Hippies is the afternoon host of Radio Three!” “I’m just yanking your chain, old man. Music is great, no matter what age,” he said as the bartender brought them their drinks. Hal nodded as he raised his beer to his young companion. “Got that right, Max. To music, in all its forms.” Max raised his drink as well but didn’t take a sip. He stopped and stared at a strand of purple hair on his hoof. His face lit up as he sat silently. “Looks like you’re thinking of something else. What’s on your mind, other than a skull, two ears and a hunk of mane?” Hal asked as he slurped the suds off his beer. “Just…” Max sighed and brushed the hair off of his hoof. “Just thinking about someone.” Hal looked closely at Max, inspecting the young stallion. It took him a couple seconds to realize the emotions behind his words. He set his beer down and turned fully towards his young companion. “Do you love her?” he asked bluntly and without warning. “What?” Max bleated. “I… I do,” he sighed. “More than anything in the world.” Max set his drink on the counter. "Hell, she is my world. My everything. I lost my family, my friends, my entire world... But she makes me happy it happened. If The Event never happened, we would've never met." “Let me tell you something, Max,” Hal said as the train rumbled its way eastward. “The three of us, Janet, Carl and I, flew up to Vegas the morning of The Event. I was going to marry Janet because she was expected to be dead within a year, and I wanted her happy. Not four minutes after we landed, it happened. Sometimes I joke it took the end of the world to get us together for keeps. We stayed together and made it work.” “Difference between you and me is that Katie and I had no idea who each other were before The Event,” he said, pushing his drink glass around. “At best, I would’ve had her as a waiter at Olive Garden.” “Her as a waiter? Does she know a gender swap spell?” Hal said with a snicker. Max rolled his eyes and downed his drink in one long swig, Hal’s one-liners becoming too much for the young (sober) stallion. He slammed the glass back down onto the bar. “I don’t know what to do. I love her so much but I don’t want to drive her away with a clingy… crush.” “Have you seen the movie ‘Spaceballs’, Max? I can only offer this advice.” Hal said before shifting into a Ronny Graham accent. “Good. You love her. TELL HER!” he snaps out. Hal then looks at the bartender. “Another round, please.” Max grunts and shakes his head. “I’m gonna need something stronger if you keep up these outdated pop culture references.” “No, you won’t. How in the name of sweet damn all is she going to know how you feel unless you tell her?” Hal asked in his normal tones. “I don’t want to lose her!” he yelled, catching some glances from a few patrons. “What makes you think you will? Have you looked at matters from her point of view? She’s a young returnee like you are. Just because she’s a unicorn doesn’t make her immune to confusion, wonderment, and loss.” Hal said reasonably as the next two beers arrived. “Could be she’s just waiting for you to say something..” “I’ve been pushed away for expressing my feeling before.” he takes a sip from his glass. “I’d rather be with her and keep my feeling suppressed than tell her how I feel and having her discard me. I like what we have. I… I can’t jeopardize it…” “Does she like what you have, or does she want more?” “What do you mean by that?” he asked. “You know how you feel about her. Do you know what she feels about you?” Hal asked before having a sip of beer. “Well… I can tell I’m her best friend.” he shrugged. “The only time we’ve ever been separate is when one of us has to work.” “Where do you two work at, if I may be so bold as to ask?” “I’m an on-scene social worker for the Dust Devils search and rescue team,” he answered. “And Katie is a jewel crafter at a nice shop on The Promenade.” “Working for Ace, eh? I part-time with him, a few days a year. Repaying debts that can’t be repaid any other way…” Hal sighed, looking through the bar mirror at something only he could see. “I don’t know how talking about work is going to help me with Katie,” he said poking at his drink. “Well, personally, I would say to her that you like her and don’t like the idea of being away from her very much. Tell her she is your stable point in life and offer to be hers.” Hal says, still looking into the distance. “I don’t know if I have the courage.” “Courage? Courage is not quite right, Max. Can you look at yourself in a mirror and say ‘I got the balls to do this?’ You need to know if she cares about you like you care about her. Best way of knowing is to ask her. I hid a lot of my feelings from Janet in the early days, but seeing as back then I never really bothered to hide anything, she knew full well how I felt.” Hal snorted before having a gulp of beer. “So did everyone else, yet I could not see that then.” “Do you think it’s obvious I have feelings for Katie? Y’know, even if you never talked to me?” Max asked over his shoulder. Hal looked contemplative as he first looked at Max, then the odd pieces of beer foam in his glass. “Let’s review what I know. I see the two of you at a bar where my group is performing. I saw her lead you out after my hoof went afoul off your head. I see the two of you together here, sharing a booth. I see you staring at a piece of her hair and getting a mooning look in your eyes and ears. Sure does add up to me that you have feelings for each other. What I don’t know is how strong. That’s up to the bird to figure out.” Max shoved his glass to the side and turned to Hal. “I mean, do you think it’s obvious to her?” “In my true and considered opinion, as a happily married stallion with proof of it, I would say…” Hal drained his glass, stretching the dramatic moment out, much to Max’s annoyance. “...yes. She’s a unicorn and she’s not stupid. I’ll get her side of the story from Janet later. If you see me with bruises, she decided not to tell me. She swings a mean skillet.” “Okay, so all that aside, what the fuck is with the skillet?” he asked with a weird look. That is a running gag between us that has lasted for years. Started in a role-playing game I ran, and now that she can do magic, she manifests it. She says she has to keep me in line with a cast iron skillet to the head or butt if I start acting stupid.” Hal said with a rueful smile. “Sometimes I need it. Works better than a willow switch with the kids, too.” “That concept is very… retro.” he laughs. “It suits you two well.” “She’s my best friend as well as my wife. We’ve been through highs and lows. We both know one will be there for the other. Also, we won’t hesitate to speak up when one of us is acting stupid.” Hal said with a smile. “If you listen to my show, you’ll find out more. She’s cool with it.” “Almost makes me wanna listen to your disco station,” he said with a smile. “You must have a lot of stories to tell. This life and last.” “Stories, not really. Hints, suggestions, observations, comments, mentions, but not real stories. My commentaries are much more entertaining. The politicians hate it, but seeing as I’m almost always right, they leave me alone. Now, there was one time when they got their revenge.” Hal said with a grimace. “Aided and abetted by my ever-loving with a ‘Hold Pony’ spell…” Max rolled his eyes. “You sure you don’t have any stories? We’ve still got, like, twenty hours til we get to Chicago. Er, Whinny City” “Oh, I got stories out the wazoo, but I don’t tell them on air. In private, that’s another story. How much do you want your ears bent?” Hal said with a sly smile at his new friend. “I’ve got all night, friend,” Max replied, settling into his seat.