Dadonequus Discord (Book 1)

by CrazedLaughter

Chapter 88

You follow Applejack into the tent. But you were panicking deep inside. More about your lost bag than what she had to say. But it wasn't like being alone with her wasn't that far off of being scary. Given what the topic matter is probably going to be.

Applejack finds a bench to sit on, and plants her butt and back hooves right on it. "Alright Anon, why don't ya take a seat right in front of me. I wanna talk to ya about somethin' important."

Hoo boy… Dem hips though.

You push a chair in front of her with your face, and then climb on top of it to sit. You don't say a word. But you were visibly nervous.

"Relax Anon, I ain't gonna chew you out. I just want to talk to ya about what's been going on lately. "

"W-what do you mean?" You barely personally knew Applejack. And here she was, having some serious sit down with you. At this point you wish you were under Fluttershy's wing, away from the panic you felt.

"Well, ya know I know about mah sister fallin' for you and you lettin' her down. Ah can't lie, when ah found out, I didn't know what to feel. Didn't even know she had a crush on you. And to tell ya the truth. I did get right angry with the way she put things. Sounded like you were just going after the richer girl." Applejack sighed "Now don't ya worry, I didn't tell her you were some scumbucket or nothin'. Ah didn't know the whole situation and I know how these things go. And ah didn't want to jump to conclusions since Fluttershy seemed so fond of ya. I was gonna ask you yourself what was goin' on, but then ah found out ya ended it with that other filly too. Somethin' about you not feelin ready. So, ya wanna tell me your version about what happened? I wanna make sure everything is on the up n' up"

There wasn't much to tell. Well, you couldn't tell her everything. Not about some of the actual reasons anyway. "There's not much to say. I didn't know your sister as well as I did Diamond. But that mostly happened because, well, I was stuck with her due to some punishment thing our dads cooked up. Your sister also didn't really show me any signs or anything, while Diamond was pretty much showing me all kinds of affection. I never really had that happen to me before. So you know, things went from one thing to another and i grew to like Diamond. And then, well. When I found out Applebloom liked me, it was sort of too late. So I let her down easy. But then as I thought about it. I realized the whole thing was complicated. And that I'm too young for this sort of thing. I just wanna stay single until I really feel I'm ready."

Applejack stared at your face. It looked like she was trying to figure out if you were lying or not. You weren't really. You were just hiding the fact that you were also an adult.

"That's how it happened?" She asked

You nod. "That's how it happened. I didn't mean to cause any harm." You were still nervous, you just wanted to get out of here and look for the damn bag.

Applejack wasn't done yet however "Anon, you seem like a very sensible young colt, ya got a lot of brains up in that head of yours. A lot of colts would have fallen apart in a situation like this but it sounds like ya kept a cool noggin'. Sounds like ya don't need any filly advice from me."

Nope, you didn't. you just wanted to get the fuck out. You chuckle nervously. "I guess I don't, t-thank's Applejack. Can… Can I get up now? I reeeeaaaallllyyy need to find that bag"

Applejack gets curious, she notices that you were very nervous. And if it wasn't her that was doing it. then... "What's in the bag that's got all yer screws loose?"

"Very important things. I mean, super important. Things my dad would be super angry about if I ever lost any of them."

Applejack cringed "hoo boy, that's pretty serious. Considerin' who yer dad is. Ok, I'll help ya look for your bag too if it's really that important"

Ok that's good, any help was good help. You rush up back on your hooves and rush out of the tent. "Thank's Applejack, yell if you found it!"

Applejack held her hoof out to you "Wait!" But you were already gone. "Gosh darnit, ah don't even know what it looks like. Guess I'll just have to pile up any bag ah see"

You rush outside and look around. The other tent was already down and the ring was being taken apart. You could see the five fillies around in different spots looking for your bag. Pinkie was chilling with Lyra. Angel was gone.

Fuck… someone must have taken it. Because everyone was still looking. You look around where the worker ponies were putting away the ring. No bag. NO BAG. FUCK. It couldn't be in the general area anymore.

You really begin to panic as you start shifting your step and moving side to side. Your thoughts filling with nightmarish thoughts. Especially if… oh god… what if it was changelings?! WHAT IF IT WAS TH-

Before you could finish your thought. You feel something flat and hard under your hooves. "What the?" You lift your right front hoof, and under it. Was a bit. Your bit? You look around, keeping your eyes close to the ground when you find… another bit. And another. Whoever took your bag wasn't very careful.

You trail off from the others and follow the bit trail. It leads right into the farm… and into the barn.
You can hear two familiar voices coming from inside. "...oh no..." You say as you open the barn door, and peer inside.

Snips and Snails. Where the fucking hell did they come from?! and how the hell did they steal your bag without anyone noticing. No fuck this shit. They were already looking inside. "So that's where my bag went."

You step inside, and you were none too happy about what you were looking at.
Snips and Snails immediately jumped in front of the bag to try to hide it. And they both smile as innocently as possible as snips speaks to you "A-Anon, w-what are you doing here?"

"Wondering why you two took my bag"

Snails begins to panic "He caught us Snips! T-the jig's up!"

Snips looks over to his friend and tries to calm him "Relax Snails, Anon ain't gonna do nothin' to us. We're not bad guys."

Snips then looked at you, he was looking like that of a self entitled git "Come on Anon, we know you've been hiding all your hero gear in this bag. And you have soooo many bits. I bet it's all from your heroic deeds huh?"

Oh god, still?! They were STILL on that?!

"I don't have anything in there that you two would want. It's just my school supplies and my allowance money. Geez guys, don't you think you're taking this too far? Where were you both even hiding?"

Snips snickered arrogantly, and then started doing stealth like movements "Well that's complicated. You see me and Snips wanted to find the best point where we could see the battle and nopony would notice, so we slipped past everypony like ninjas, and remained unseen in a place where everypony could see."


Even Snails got confused "Errr, I thought we just ran under the ring? And I don't remember seeing the fight. I remember taking the bag though"

Snips felt a jolt of anger and turned to Snails "Snails! That doesn't make it cool at all!"

"But that's what happened and..." Snails sifted through your bag "I don't think there’s anything cool in here either. Just bits, school stuff, a map… a horn.... and wooo!" Snails pulled out the cardboard wings, entranced by them, despite their dull appearance and crude coloring. "These are pretty!"

"What?! That's it?!" Snips starts to look in the bag as well "Where's all the cool stuff? Smoke bombs, grappling hooks, trick gum, sneeze powder...." Snips comes to a realization about the bag "There's no hero stuff in here at all."

You sigh, morons. "Yeah, as I said. Nothing in there that you guys would want. Now, mind giving me my bag back?

"Y-yeah" Snips passes over the bag to you "Your not gonna tell on us… a-are you Anon?"

You probably should. But these two numbskulls probably wouldn't get it even then. No, you had to settle this yourself.

"No, But I'm getting sick of the both of you. You both aren't heroes. And at this rate. You both will nev-" Then you stop, Snails still had your wings. and his attention was fully on it. Goddammit "Snails, the wings."

You hold out your hoof. You could see Snips had a feeling on what you were going to say, he looked a little shattered. But Snails wasn't even paying attention. "Come on Anon! Can't I keep them? They look really pretty"

HOW?! They were just cardboard wings with a band in the middle. "Snails, give me NO DON'T!"

Snails puts the wings on his back before you could react. a flash of light emits from snails as both you and Snips are blinded by it. "Agh!" Shhhhhhit!

As the light grows dim. Both you and Snips look upon Snails. Who now had wings. He had a dull look on his face as he looked backwards "Hey… where'd the wings go?"



Snails couldn't see them "Where?"

"OPEN THEM! THIS IS SO AMAZING!" Snips was amazed, almost speechless

Snails had a little trouble. But he got his wings open to a point that he could see them "...oh, wow… they look pretty too."

You were getting a little ticked now. This wasn't funny to you. "Why? Oh why? Do you two do stuff like this?" But they weren't paying attention to you at this point.

"Snails… Snails, buddy. You've. You've become an Alicorn Prince!" Snips was so amazed by this, that he bowed.

"Oh… erm. What do I do now? I don't even know how this happened" Snails was so confused, he didn't even seem to realize how he even got them.

"Are you two even listening?" DUMBASSES! GEEZ!

"Isn't it obvious? You must have wanted to be a hero sooooooooo bad that whatever makes ponies into Alicorns must have made you an Alicorn! It's the only explanation there is! And now… I too will become a super Alicorn hero too!" Snips started to hop about in excitement


You smack your hoof into your own face and shake your head. They somehow BOTH missed that it was the cardboard wings that did it.

Snips stood at the ready and started grunting, trying to focus his heroness into becoming an Alicorn. "RRAAAAHHHHHGHHGRRRRRRRHHHGGGRRRAHHH I CAN FEEL IT!"

This… this was utterly ridiculous.

"MMNGGHHRRR! YEAH! I DID IT! CHECK OUT MY WINGS GUYS!" Snips seemed excited… over nothing.

Snails inspected his friend. confused "Errr, Snips. I don't see wings on you"

"What?! B-but… aren't I heroic enough?" Snips grew disappointed, looking to his back to see nothing. ".....awwwww nuts"

Snails thought to himself, then gave Snips a pat "Don't worry pal, since I'm an Alicorn Prince now. I shall deem you my… uhh, royal guard captain guy!"

Snips eyes began to grow teary eyed "R-really? you'd let me have such an important job?"

Snails nodded "Yup, because you're my best buddy!"

Snips gave Snails a hug "And you're my best buddy too!"

You must have been high or something. Because this was beyond stupid. If not a little heartwarming. Still. Unbelievable.

Snips then turned to you, looking at you.

" guys gonna pay attention to me now?" You said, patience nearly lost

"Did you say something Anon? I uhh… I don't remember. I was too busy looking at Snails becoming a super Alicorn Prince! Aren't you amazed too? You're a hero and you didn't even grow a horn! And Snails! Snails became an Alicorn right before our eyes! He must be destined to be a TRUE hero! And I'm gonna be his royal guard captain!" Snips says with a joyous grin

You heavily sigh. This was not amusing to you. "He's not an Alicorn. Those wings. The cardboard ones, they give you pegasus wings."

Snips and Snails laughed at you. "Anon, Cardboard doesn't do that!" Snips laughed "Don't be jealous that Snails is a better hero than you.


They both laugh at you again. "Come on Anon, stop. It's embarrassing. You're just mad because you didn't become a hero Alicorn prince" Snips was starting to feel shame for you.

Oh no, that's it. You weren't going to take that shit from two morons. "I'm taking my wings back. Whether you both like it or not"

Snails was confused by those words. But Snips jumped in front of him and looked at you with determined eyes "Stay back my liege! Anon has gone crazy with jealousy!"

"You guys really want to go a round two?" You look back, no one was around. You take a few steps back and close the barn door. "Then I'll make a deal with you."

They both look at eachother, then at you and both say "A deal?"

An idea starts to form in your head as you go through your saddle bag. "Yeah a deal. I mean, you say Snails is a hero Alicorn now right? Then he should be able to handle me right?"

They both nod.

"What are ya getting at Anon?" Snips was intrigued. "It sounds like you wanna fight us."

You nod. "Yeah I do, here alone in the barn. With a little wager to boot."

"Wager huh? What say you my prince?" Snips looks to Snails.

Snails tries to look regal as he thinks, then nods "We're listening"

Listening? Finally...

"Easy, first to go down loses. And if I win, you both drop this hero stuff forever. And I mean it, you both drop it, and drop it hard. Also, none of us ever speak of this. No matter what."

They both nod in unison. Then Snips speaks an arrogant tone "As if that's gonna happen."

"Yeah, I'm an Alicorn prince now. I'm super powerful and stuff" Snails said, feeling a newfound pride in his wings.

"And what do we get if we win?" Snips asked

"I will join you guys, I will bow down to Alicorn Prince Snails and become your soldier."

They both nod to each other again, and both look at you, and speak at the same time. "You're on Anon"

Good... "Glad you both agree."

You pull out your horn, and slap it on your forehead. This was going to feel good. You were getting tired of their hero shit. You were tired of being praised over a lie. And it was going to stop. Before it got out of hand.

The horn becomes a unicorn horn. You face both Snips and Snails. who are bewildered by the horn that has appeared on your head.

"What the?!" Snips said in surprise.

Snails was dumbly confused "Wait a sec… Anon… you were a unicorn the whole time?"

You sigh heavily, whatever. It wasn't like you had to hide it now. As long as they keep their word. "No, this is the other part of the wings you took from me. This is a horn I can use once per day. And you guys are going to be my horn's target. So how about that?"

Snails instantly got worried from that, But Snips did his best to inspire him "Don't worry your highness! You're an Alicorn now! You've become like, a million times stronger than before. You can do this! We can take him!"

"O-ok, if you say so. I'm ready" Snails tried to look at you with a brave face. But your face, you had a menacing expression. You were going to enjoy this.


They both nod.

"Well then, GO!"

Like the dumbasses they are, they try immediately rushing you. You didn't want to hurt them too badly. But you only had one shot at this. In fact, you thought of a really amusing spell you could try. Since the magic seemed to bend to your will. It should be automatic.

You fire your horn at them. The moment it hits them they both end up floating in mid air. weightless, absolutely no gravity as  they get trapped in a thin sphere of glowing purple energy.

"What?! What's going on?!" Snips cried out

"I'm scared Snips, I can't go where I wanna go!" Snails tried flapping his wings "Not even with my wings!"

You instantly had the battle. Your horn was still glowing, you step into the sphere. unaffected by the anti gravity, and start spinning Snips and Snails as if they were tops. They started crying, screaming, and whining. Luckily for you, the sphere also kept noise from escaping.

This felt good, you had an arrogant smile on your face as you span them faster and faster
"So, uhhh… when are you guys going to beat me? Because if you're not going to do anything, then I'm just gonna spin you. I can do this all day"

They were just crying and whining for you to stop.

"Hmmmmm, nah"

This would get it in their head not to fuck with your stuff. And to drop this hero shit.



"You give up? Gee I dunno, I mean. How can I be sure you both will drop this hero nonsense? How can I be sure you won't say this to anypony?"


You chuckle, this felt pretty good. No wonder Discord got a kick out of it.

"Mmmm… nah, not yet. I just want to be sure"

They continue to whine and cry, turning green from sickness. But you spin them. And spin them. And finally, what you were actually waiting for happens. The wings finally pop off of Snails. You take it, and put it in your saddle bag.

Satisfied with their suffering. You end your magic. Causing them to fall on their heads, spinning like tops as your horn pops off your head. You take that too, and put it away. You watch as their spinning slows and they fall on their side. That felt… incredibly good. You were so wanting to put these two in their place for being morons and taking your stuff. And now, with the power of the horn. You wreaked enough chaos on them that they should stop their stupid shit and leave all this hero crap alone. You didn't even care if they feared you from now on, you didn't care for them and their antics. They are the types that could get ponies killed.

You put on your saddle bag, and look to your two sickly looking opponents. "So, you guys done?"

They both slowly nod, silently. "

Good, oh. And a good lesson for you both to also learn is not to steal other pony’s property. All it does is get them upset. You two take care now, I'm gonna go. Try to be out of here before any of the apples check inside, ok?"

They both groan. You smile cheerfully. "Good! seeya guys later"

You exit the barn, feeling absolutely happy and cheerful about what you have just done. All this time of holding back. All it did was cause you grief if you couldn't get the situation handled. This time, you took the situation by the horns and ripped it head off. And it felt great. And all you had to do was just will it, and it was done.

That felt great.

You returned to the now empty site. Happy, and proud of what you've done. Seems most of the ponies were gone. All that was left was Applejack and the five fillies. You wondered where Lyra and Pinkie went mostly. But they probably had things to do. You could find them later.

You wave to the girls who were present. "Hey girls! I found my bag!"

They were pretty happy that you found it. Though, given Sweetie Belle's and Scootaloo's expression. They must have already been instated into the apple workforce. They weren't too enthusiastic.

"Where was it Anon? Did somepony really take it?" Diamond Tiara asked, appalled that anyone would steal from you.

"Oh uh, I found it just a few ways out near the barn. I think some curious animals got into it or something. See?" You point to some of your fallen bits. You never actually picked them up. "They couldn't even keep a few of my bits from falling out. Guess they couldn't keep my bag steady"

They look at the fallen bits. That seemed… reasonable to them. They never saw who took your bag either.

"Aren'tcha gonna pick em up Anon?" Applebloom asked

You shrug, they weren't important. "Nah, you girls can keep whatever you can find."

Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara don't get excited for the that. But the other three do. They immediately go bit hunting.

Applejack giggles and shakes her head. "Well, ah guess that's one way to make some bits. That's mighty generous of you Anon"

You shrug. "Eh, I just don't really need the bits. Money isn't important to me"

Applejack finds those words a truly good thing. She liked the fact that you weren't greedy. She didn't know that Discord could just give you what you needed. "That's some good morals ya got there Anon. Glad to know you put friends over bits"

Diamond Tiara smiles at that as well, and agrees with Applejack "Well, Anon has always been like that. He's a really nice guy. But..." She puts her head downwards, she realized despite you being nice, you lacked your cutie mark still "I guess that doesn't win you Cutie Marks either"

"It's fine. Come on, don't get like that now. There's still a million things we can do."

"I guess, but we still have to think of the next thing to try. I'll think of something while I'm at home. And we can try it later" Diamond Tiara said, filling with some hope.

"You're leaving?"

Diamond and Silver Spoon nodded

"Yeah, it's lunch time. I promised Daddy I'd be there for lunch after all this." Diamond informed you

"It's my lunch time too, and I'm pretty hungry" Silver Spoon said

"Oh, ok then. Well, you girls take care. And see ya when I see ya"

They head off, Diamond wanted to invite you for lunch. But she was doing her best to emotionally distance herself from you in the ways of love. She thought it better to just go on her way.

"What about you Anon, ya gonna get lunch? You're invited to our home if you want a bite to eat. We're all gonna have some good home cooked meals today"

You weren't really hungry though. And you had a schedule to keep. You wanted to see if you could find Pinkie, and then meet up with Lyra. Or maybe....maybe you should see Fluttershy instead. She was your "Aunt". You were sure she'd appreciate the visit. No yeah, you already saw Lyra and Pinkie pretty much. And Fluttershy always managed to make your heart melt, she gave you that cuddly feeling.

"Nah, I'm good. I think I wanna see my Aunt. I haven't really gone to visit her on my own. I kind of feel bad about it."

Applejack knew about Fluttershy being your "Aunt". She thought it was cute. Especially since to her, you seemed like a good kid.

"Well shoot Anon, that's mighty sweet. Ya know, I feel a little odd sayin' it. But I guess Discord really is being a good dad to ya. You're a really good kid, all things considering."

"Thanks, Dad's a good guy. I'm glad he was the one who adopted me."

"Ya really don't mind him?"

You shake your head. "Nope, he can be scary sometimes. But he cares about me. He takes care of me. And without him, I wouldn't be here, and have such good friends."

Applejack felt something inside her, a feeling of sadness "Anon, ah..." She suddenly stops. She wanted to ask about your real parents. She felt reminded of her own.

"Huh? Applejack?"

Applejack shook her head "It's nothin' Anon, well. Yer gonna go to Fluttershy's huh?"

Hmmm… you wondered what she wanted to say.But if she didn't want to say all of a sudden. It was probably best not to ask her whats up.

You nod. Applejack reaches into her hat and puts an apple in your bag. "Here ya are, if ya get hungry on the way over. You can eat this here apple."

"Thanks Applejack, but isn't it your apple?"

"Ain't nothin, dunno if you noticed. But there’s apples all around us."

Ah right yes… right… apple farm.

With that, you say goodbye to her, and to the CMC. You tell them where you are going, and they don't seem to mind at all. You wish Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo good luck as Applebloom and Applejack take them towards the house for lunch, and then to give them a few lessons in farmwork. Oh boy...

As for you, you went off to Fluttershy's. You were sure Snips and Snails would find their way out without being found out.