Jack Spicer's Quest to Conquer Equestria

by CrazedLaughter

Chapter 9 - Jack's New Army, Spike Spills the Beans

Jack stood proud at his finished bronzeclad bots with devilish glowing red eyes. Some were sputtering a little. As to be expected from robots made of discarded scrap. "Look at them, aren't they adorable!"

"I dunno.....they give me the willies" Applebloom said, feeling reluctant to even go near them.

"I think that's the point Applebloom! Let me guess, their look is meant to scare your enemies...right Jack?" Sweetie Belle said as she circled one of them to get a better look.

"Bingo! Nothing better than seeing the looks of horror in your enemy's face before they run away like yellow bellied doofuses" Jack chortled, but deep inside he knew that no one he has ever faced has ever been legitimately scared of his Jackbots. Maybe the ponies would? He'd love to see that.

Scootaloo went and tapped one on the head "It's pretty solid too, man. That Wuya lady isn't gonna know what hit her! We're gonna be heroes for sure!"

"Slow down there shortstuff. I can't exactly attack Wuya just yet with this many Bots. If anything, this is just a small guard. I'm gonna have to make more later....and...I'm gonna need a gamechanger."

"A gamechanger? whatcha mean by that mister Jack?" Applebloom asked, curious as to what he was talking about.

"Ya know, something to guarantee our victory. Like I dunno...a super powerful Shen Gong Wu" Jack stated. Wuya never had a chance to tell him about any of the specific Shen Gong Wu this world had. So he didn't know where to start looking.

"You mean like your staff thing?" Sweetie Belle inquired

"Sort of...but something that packs a really wicked punch....say...you girls wouldn't know anything about that..would you?" Jack said, he figured any lead was as good as any given his new "pet" wasn't cooperating.

Applebloom thought "Well..." and then it hit her "I know of a couple of things. Spike told me about this comic book that saps ya'll into another universe!"

"mmnn..no, one world hop is enough for me. Anything else?" Jack thought that'd be an interesting Shen Gong Wu to have. But only to use on others.

"Well another one is the Alicorn Amulet, But ya wouldn't want that." Applebloom started to feel a small anger build inside her the moment she said it's name.

Scootaloo hovered down in front of Jack, speaking in angered excitement "Yeah! Don't even think about it! Forget it! Even though it gives you a super huge amount of power. It also turns you into a giant jerk! grrr, that Trixie even threw Rainbow Dash for a loop. She says she's sorry. But I dunno.."

Jack started to rub his chin. "that could work".He thought to himself. But he had some clever wordplay in mind for the girls.
"Well if it does that then, then I DEFINITELY shouldn't use it.....but. Who's to say Wuya won't find it and use it for herself? She's pretty crafty. If you girls tell me where it is. Maybe I could grab it before her and guard it. You know, to make sure she doesn't get any more powerful." Jack gave them a very terribly looking innocent grin.

Scootaloo slapped her forehead with her hoof "OH MAN! I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF THAT!"

"Me neither, if Wuya got the Alicorn Amulet...we'd all be pretty doomed...I think" Sweetie Belle added, not exactly sure how much power Wuya had and how much the amulet would boost it.

"Do you think we should tell Twilight?" Applebloom asked the other two.

Jack interjected, waving his hands "No no no no no! You don't wanna do that! And before you ask why. Let me just say that if anyone...ahrm..anypooonnyy that high in status who knows about this, would be in serious danger. It's better she doesn't know. Trust me. Just tell me where it is and I'll pick it up myself."

"I'm sorry Jack, but I dunno where it is" Applebloom frowned, the thought of not being able to give vital information for something THIS important putting her down

Sweetie belle shrugged, frowning as well "Me neither"

Scootaloo however, smirked as she clapped her hooves "..But I'd bet Spike would know...he's not really that high up. But he knows where ALL kinds of stuff is. And he's good at keeping secrets! So it should be ok if you ask him and fill him in!"

Sweetie Belle shook her head "uhh...no he's not. All you gotta do is offer him a bowl of gems and he cracks like noponie's business. I think it's better if nopony lets him in on this."

Jack blinked "Who is Spike?"

Applebloom turned to jack "Ahh, he's just Twilight's assistant. Pretty easy to spot, he's ah purple baby dragon."

Jack face curled into an evil smile "....reeeeaaallllyyy....you don't say"

Jack suddenly stretched and yawned "Well, I'm pretty tired from making all those robots and you know heroes. If they get tired they are gonna need all the rest they can get, so I better be getting home. I'll just take my Jackbots and leave."

Applebloom peeked out the barn door, then looked at the Jackbots, feeling concerned "But mister Jack, how are ya gonna get all them robots outta here without somepony noticing?"

Jack just smirked as he turned to his Jackbots, he felt a good feeling in the pit of his stomach "JACKBOTS! STEALTH MODE!"

Suddenly, each of the Jackbots disappeared from sight. Jack felt all bubbly inside. Able to make actual commands again really inflated his ego.

They were all amazed "Wow! They disappeared!" all three of them said

Jack snickered as he walked towards the invisible robots "nah, they just went invisible. See I'll...OWW!" Jack ran headfirst into one of his own Jackbots "HEY! NEXT TIME I'M SHOWING SOMETHING COOL! DON'T GET IN MY WAY! IT MAKES ME LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT!" Jack openpalmed slapped the Jackbot, but he only ended up hurting his own hand
"GHEEEEKRKEEEKRKheee...nngh...my hand..." Jack whined

All three of the CMC started giggling at Jack's predicament, instantly infuriating him "HEY! WHAT'S SO FUNNY!"

"hehhehe, sorry Jack. It was just sorta funny, you know?" Sweetie belle said as she giggled happily.

they tried stifling there giggling as Jack just grumbled. He hadn't the time to argue, he had a dragon to bribe. "yeah..yeah..whatever..anyway, I seriously gotta get going"

Jack climbed onto one of his Jackbots, he was without his helipack at this point. And he had trouble getting onto the shoulder of the Jackbot, causing the CMC to giggle again. Jack just grumbled and took it, it's not like he wasn't used to this sort of thing already.

Jack finally gets onto the shoulder and sighs "Ok...here we go...hehe..JACKBOTS! TO THE BASE!"

The robots, still invisible, flew out of the barn one by one. The CMC saying their goodbyes, making Jack halt his bot at the door "Oh right I almost forgot!" he took a quick look at his cheat sheet "Scootaloo....if anyone asks about where you got that helipak. Tell em you made it...using the instructions from the internet"

Scootaloo saluted "Got it!...but..um..Jack, sir?"

Jack was getting impatient "what?! what is it now!"

Scootaloo frowned "I've never heard of the internet before...I don't think anypony has..."

Jack began clenching his teeth. A world without internet...how absolutely horrifying...How was he going to get his own connection going to watch videos of silly cats doing silly things....the horror. "...oh...hrmm, ok..just...tell em..I dunno...you built it based off an instruction manual, you guys have those right?"

Scootaloo nodded

"ok then...well...seeya...WAIT..one last thing. Scootaloo, can you fly up here for a moment?" Jack looked down at her, and he could see something was missing.

Scootaloo nodded and flew up to him "What is it?" She was curious, she was also hoping that he wouldn't take her new helipack away.

Jack just stared deeply into her, then snapped his fingers "aha! That's what's missing. No future genius can't be cool with just a helipack alone...they also need one of Jack Spicer's patented super cool goggles." He reached into his coat and carefully attached another set of his evil goggles  to Scootaloo's head. "There we go, these are the kind of goggles that when anyone who makes fun of you sees them. They know they don't have much time left before they are crushed between your fe....hooves."

Jack took a moment to look at Scootaloo, he wanted to cry "You remind me of a younger me........if I was a girl....and also a horse..."

Scootaloo felt very honored to be given such things from a great hero like Jack. She became overwhelmed by his gifts and just gave him the warmest hug she could muster "Thank you Jack. I would have never really known how it was to be a real Pegasis...if it wasn't for you. I promise, if you need anything from me, just ask. As far I'm concerned. You're as cool as Rainbow Dash."

Jack slowly wrapped his hands around her, and returned her hug. teary eyed, his voice cracking. "I don't understand most of what you said, but you're welcome Jack jr."

Scootaloo pulled back a moment "What?"

"Scootaloo..I said Scootaloo..haha..ah...ha..anyway. I gotta get going. Got important stuff to do and gotta get my rest. Seeya girls!" Jack waved to them, as Scootaloo ended her hug and hovered away from him. All three of them giving him their heartfelt farewells.

With that, Jack flew off into the sky, hidden within his cluster of invisible Jackbots. He sent two of the scavengers off. One to collect scrap. While he personally went with the other one to find gems. Half his mind was on the CMC, imagining them all in clothes like his while they crack whips at Omi and his friends..and Wuya...and Chase...and Hannibal...and his Physical Education Coach....he hated that guy.

the other half of his mind was his devious machinations. Plotting on getting the Alicorn Amulet to use in his nefarious scheme to conquer both Equestria and Earth.

hours later, he returned back to the abandoned castle. Where Spike was laying on his back, groaning and rubbing his belly "...so...hungry.."

Jack hopped down, seemingly from nowhere as he jauntily proclaimed "HEYA RAT BREATH! JACK'S HOME! AND GUESS WHAT HE'S GOT!"

Spike just laid there, groaning "Great..I was hoping to die of hunger before this guy showed up."

Jack smirked smugly as he walked up to Spike, hiding his hands behind his back "How ya doing there, gee whiz...you don't look so good."

"gee you think? You left me here without any food. I had to eat your key...which was fake by the way! Speaking of which, you really gotta learn to wash yourself. I could taste your gross grime all over it." Spike grumbled, unmoving

"awww, well pardon me for being evil. ahh, by the way. JACKBOTS..SHOW YOURSELVES!" Jack called out, snapping his fingers.

suddenly, the Jackbots all appeared seemingly out of thin air, making terrible hissing noises as they brandished their weapons. Jack just looked at Spike with a wicked grin "I seem to remember you looking at me like I was crazy that I didn't have any of my goons around, I bet you thought it was really funny! WELL WHO'S LAUGHING NOW! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Spike just leaned up for a moment, took a look at the Jackbots, and laid back down, grumbling "I'm too hungry to care about impending doom right now...ughhh"

"HAHAhaha...ha....hrn. You gotta be kidding me! You aren't even the least bit scared right now?! LOOK AT THEM! THEY HAVE RED EYES! WEAPONS! LOOK AT THAT ONE, HE HAS A BABY RATTLE AS A WEAPON! DO YOU KNOW HOW HORRIFYINGLY HUMILIATING IT IS TO BE BEAT WITH A BABY RATTLE!?" Jack was flabbergasted

Spike just leaned up again, looked into his eyes, and laid back down "nope...too hungry to come up with a witty comeback....ugghhh"

Jack was grinding his teeth until he took a deep breath to calm down, it was time for Plan B "So..you're hungry huh? If you had cooperated maybe I would have been a little bit nicer to you."

Spike felt a pain in his tummy, he started to rub it "I doubt it, you probably don't even know what I eat"

Jack's put on a sinister grin as he produced a huge bowl of shiny gems and placed it down just out of Spike's reach "It wouldn't be gems..would it?"

Spike's eyes went wild as he started salivating "FOOD..GIMME GIMME!" He reached out for the gems, but he couldn't quite reach "YOU MONSTER! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!" he whined

Jack started laughing maniacally at the moment, he really wanted to see Spike suffer. after his laughing fit he leaned down and looked at Spike. "So...you really want these gems huh?"


"Only if you help me out stinkbreath. I need to know exactly where this Shen Gong Wu you call the "Alicorn Amulet" is at! and make it snappy" Jack said

"what?! How many times do I have to tell you. I don't know what a Shen Gong Wu is!" Spike said as he continued reaching for the bowl.

"But you know where the Alicorn Amulet is right? Spill it, or else you're gonna go extinct like the dinosaurs!" Jack demanded

Spike continued reaching "I-I CAN'T, I CAN'T TELL YOU!"

"You can't...or you won't..hehe" Jack leaned down and grabbed a singular gem and started dancing it infront of Spike "oohhh look how delicious it is, yum yum in the tum. Oh man, it's so smooth and shiny..and filling...I think I'll have a bite" Jack takes a bite, hurting his teeth "OWIE! HEY, I THOUGHT DRAGONS ATE THIS STUFF!"


"hmm..you mean like this?" Jack gave a sinister chuckle before building up flem, and letting it out of his mouth, letting it hang by a flemmy string above the gems.


Jack pulled up his flem back into his mouth and gave Spike an evil,victorious stare as he slid the bowl towards Spike, who immediately started chomping at the gems, crying apologies to Twilight that he broke so easily.

Jack laughed nonstop, he was now even closer to world domination. And the best part was that Omi,Clay,Raymundo, and Kimiko weren't around to stop him. Nor was Wuya around to hold him back. If he could raid the castle once. He could do it again. He was having a seriously good day.