Daydreaming Again, My Little Ponies?

by Your Antagonist

A Constitution Of Steel and Flames Of Vigor (Spike's Daydream, Genre: Action)

“I’ve always wanted to kick in a door.” Spike mused aloud as he threw his head from side to side along his massive neck, summoning a series of sickening cracks that provided minor relief to the knight’s tense, rippling muscles. The valiant draconian heaved out a deep breath, intensified his grip on the hilt of the lance resting on his right shoulder, and lifted his leg until it was level with his chest. “RAGH!” With that war cry carrying his will, Spike held nothing back as he mercilessly slammed his armored boot into the fragile wood of the eloquently designed double doors. The physical barrier’s vapid constitution creaked and cracked beneath his heel before finally exploding off its hinges, erupting irrationally into a hail of splintered wood.  

“Blueblood, you damnable cur!” Spike roared making his presence known to the villain, who merely frowned at the notion that his name would even be used in the same sentence with such a derogatory term. “Release Lady Rarity at once, or I’ll see to it that your next breath will be among the last you draw under the light of Queen Celestia’s sun!” To further drive his point home, Spike seized a piece of the falling debris from the air and crushed it into dust with his empty claw.

Undeterred  by the draconic knight’s  threat, the snide prince chuckled cynically before launching his venom tongued retort. “Ha! Your sense of humor is simply divine, Spike. I never took you for a comedian, or am I honestly expected to believe that a mere skink means to stand in the way of my plans? Regardless, I applaud the audacity required for one as lowly as yourself to speak so frivolously with the future god-king of Equestria.”  In that instant, Blueblood’s horn was engulfed in a light blue aura of magical energy that he extended towards two masterfully-crafted sabers that once sat aesthetically on the wall of the chamber. As he levitated the twin blades towards himself, the stuck-up unicorn continued to boast in regards to his assumed victory. “Do not fret however lizard, I promise that I shall cure you of your ailment once I have cut out your tongue." Blueblood brandished the tip of one the blades at Spike, who only glared through the prince’s tongue lashing. “Now, have at you, and  let us not tarry: I have business to attend to with your beloved Rarity.”  

“You want it? Well get ready.” Spike gripped his trusty lance with both claws and held the weapon to his side. “Here I come!” Spike took off sprinting towards Blueblood, the lance trailing behind him as his eyes narrowed, becoming more reptilian as rage overtook his mind, growing more intense with each step he took.  Once he was finally in range, Spike threw his arms forward, and the lance followed through, propelled through the air by the sheer force of the mighty swing before it met with Blueblood’s blades in a flash of steel and a shower of sparks. Grunting through the intense effort, Spike drove his lance against Blueblood’s defenses with all his might, forcing the stallion to buckle beneath the strain that his magic had impelled upon the swords to resist the dragon’s superior strength.

“GYAAAGH!” Blueblood cried, as he leapt backwards, his blades ceding beneath Spike’s massive lance before returning to their master’s orbit. ”I have to admit lizard, I’m rather impressed. I assumed all those legends of your combat prowess were just mere myth, but after experiencing your strength first hand, I must say that while you possess some skill, you will find that mere fortitude alone will not be enough against an opponent of my caliber.”

“Enough talk Blueblood, just fight!” Spike aimed the tip of his lance at his self-assured rival, and began sprinting full charge intent on driving the sharpened point through the prince’s throat.

Blueblood in response merely chuckled sardonically to himself. “Allow me to enlighten you then.” The swords by his side began to radiate with an electric blue aura, and an instant later they slashed the air in an X-pattern, releasing a brilliant shockwave that tore towards the charging dragon with destructive velocity. The attack in itself would have been enough to incapacitate even the mightiest of Celestia’s royal guards, but Blueblood wasn’t the type to  leave anything to chance. A moment after the first strike, Blueblood began flailing the enchanted swords maniacally, polluting the airspace with a hail of magical strikes.

Any lesser knight would have been demoralized in the wake of such a barrage, however, Spike grinned in the face of the magical onslaught. He’d anticipated that Blueblood would rely on cowardly tactics such as attacking from a distance, and had a trump card up his sleeve for such an occasion. The first projectile impacted upon Spike, summoning a massive cloud of dust and debris from the impact, and shortly after, the residual torrent of energy waves impacted around the room, leaving behind a series of smaller explosions as the magic dissipated into the foundations of the room.

Blueblood began to snicker to himself as he assessed the damage his attack had left upon the room. “Perhaps I overestimated my quarry. I probably shouldn’t have used a cannon against a field mouse, but it’s a means to end I suppose.” Blueblood closed his eyes and shook his head from side in mock self-disappointment, but quickly found that his victory assessment was premature as a massive purple fist connected with his jaw, sending the unicorn sprawling to the ground. Confused, frustrated, and disoriented, Blueblood attempted to unsteadily pick himself from the ground shaking his head to regain his focus. “H-how did you survive that!?”

“Magic barrier of course,” Spike explained, pointing to a glowing amulet on his chest.  “Your cheap tricks may have served you well in the past, but they won’t do you any good here.” Spike brandished his lance before himself, and shot a  cocky glare at the still-recovering Blueblood. “Now have at you!”

Blueblood backpedaled away from the emboldened dragon, but soon found that he had backed himself into a corner. Faced with only the options of fight or die, Blueblood chose to gallop recklessly at Spike, both swords  floating defensively in front of himself as he finally made it into striking distance.  “Raaargh!”  Blueblood swung the first of his blades in a wide, sweeping arc towards Spike’s chest, but found it quickly parried by the massive body of the lance.

In response, Blueblood thrusted the other saber towards Spike’s eye, but the dragon ducked and spun underneath the attack, wrapping his heavily-scaled tail around Blueblood’s exposed forelegs. With one mighty yank Spike had successfully swept the villainous prince to floor, and capitalized on the opportunity he had forged for himself by delivering a heavy stompto Blueblood’s face. Without any further hesitation, Spike unleashed a flurry of heavy-handed swings from the lance, each of them impacting on the head of the dazed unicorn.

Spike continued the abuse until he was satisfied that Blueblood was completely unconscious or at least suffering from a minor aneurysm. The dragon kicked Blueblood once more and spat on him for good measure, when he heard muffled cries coming from behind a nearby shelf in the room.

A miserable fate awaited the unfortunately-placed shelf, as Spike’s curious and adrenaline-pumped brain demanded further destruction of articulately-made wood crafts. As though he had no time to waste, Spike sprinted up to the shelf and heaved a massive ball of fire from his diaphragm that ignited the shelf almost instantly. Raising his trusty boot once more, Spike rained a fatal stomp down on the burning bookcase, splintering it into a thousand shards of wood-chippings. The fire had no actual purpose in the destruction of the bookcase, but Spike felt that it gave of a certain degree of necessary flair for dramatic entrance.

Once inside the poorly hidden dungeon, Spike’s eyes fell upon the bound and gagged form of the most beautiful, most regal unicorn mare in all of Equestria. He casually walked forward and knelt down by her side, extending and flexing his claws in preparation to destroy the bonds that held her taut. With one swift slash of his claws he had cut the ropes and pulled the cloth from her mouth, and observed her stout grace and trained balance as she rose to all fours, beaming up at him with her marvelous Sapphire blue eyes. “You’re safe now milady,” Spike said as bowed before her.

“You have my eternal gratitude, Sir Spike.” Rarity leaned forward, her eyes gradually drawing to a close, as her luscious lips began to purse in the most tantalizing fashion, inspiring Spike to follow her lead. He could feel her sweet breath on his lips, and he savored every second of the sensation, as he let his baser instincts take over his actions. His claws began to move on their own, the right seizing a palmful of Rarity’s gorgeous purple mane, while the left glided suggestively down the unicorn’s flank, eliciting a blush from the ivory mare as he contiinued to draw her wanting waiting lips ever closer to his own. “Spike,” Rarity cooed, halting the kiss before it could even begin.

“Yes, milady?” Spike asked, his eyes still shut as he continued to lean forward into the oral embrace.

“Spike,” Rarity called again this time somewhat louder, but he ignored it. “Spike!” Rarity was shouting at him now, and he couldn’t understand why. Opening his eyes, he found that his beloved ivory mare had transformed into a massive lavender-coated nag-fiend that bellowed his name ferociously once more “Spike!”

A sudden tingling sensation enveloped the dragon’s body in an ethereal purple veil, yanking him into the air before it began to violently shake him up and down, forcing him to drop his lance, the once-majestic weapon falling to the to the ground with a dull thump.  Spike reached fruitlessly towards his armament, only to have that stripped away from him by a similar occurrence. Spike turned, fist clenched to face his captor in unarmed combat, but soon found his ears were flooded with a howling so atrocious, it could drive a hydra to gnaw off the ears of its other heads. “Wake up! What are you doing!?” The beast roared unleashing a torrent of its foul breath that quickly flooded forth and overloaded Spike’s sense of smell.

Spike knew he couldn’t stand much more of the the toxic stench, so he inhaled as much of the foul air as he could muster, and allowed his unique biology to take over. A moment later, a fierce heat erupted forth from the dragon’s maw , assaulting the  lavender demon who screamed and flailed as the brilliant flame began to spread across its body.  

A moment later, the aura that held Spike dissipated, allowing the dragon to stand and face his foe on equal grounds, but unbeknownst to Spike the creature had pre-emptively initiated a sneak-attack and hurled a massive pillar at the dragon, and Spike soon found that he had no time to avoid the attack and instead braced himself for the imminent impact. With his eyes clenched as tightly as his jaw , Spike could only wait for the ensuing pain. But, it never came.  Opening his eyes after what seemed like an eternity Spike soon found that he was no longer in a dungeon but rather, back in the library staring blankly at Twilight who was yelling at him with a freshly burnt mane for some odd reason.

“Spike! Look what you did to my mane, more importantly, look at this mess! I thought I told you to clean this up hours ago! You’re always doing this! I swear, what am I going to do with you? If this mess doesn’t get cleaned up, the blah blah blah, blah blah gemstones, blah blah blah Rarity, blah...”

In his dazed state, Spike had begun to drown out the unicorn’s rant which had turned into white noise somewhere along the way, and then he rolled his eyes which only increased the intensity of her rambling. Seeing no other alternative, Spike reached down and retrieved his lance from the ground, once again brandishing it at the wicked leviathan that stood before him.  “What do you think you’re doing with that?” It shrieked .

Spike knew that dire consequences would arise from challenging this beast, but as a knight in the charge of the fair Lady Rarity, he couldn’t resist an opportunity to prove his vigor. Heaving his held breath, Spike locked eyes with the abomination and said: “Your voice vexes me, Nag-Fiend of The Sunset.”

“W-what did you call me!?”

“Enough talk, prepare yourself to be slain! For Lady Rarity!”  Spike shouted as he rushed his target.

The rest of the library could only watch in stunned silence as Spike leapt upon Twilight and mercilessly assaulted her with a rolled up newspaper.