Chapter 5: Reasons
===[Zoro's POV]===
So I sat inside a building that was quite literally a library inside of a tree, drinking the most lovely tasting zebafrican red tea, with the two sisters along with their Element bearers seated around a table eyeing me wearily. At least, all except for Rainbow. She was currently in the hospital nursing a massive concussion and a fractured skull.
What can I say, it was self defense.
“This is a lovely tea, Sir Spike,” I told the young drake. “Would you kindly get me another glass?”
“Uh, yeah, sure,” he said, taking my cup back to the kitchen. If I had to guess, he was an arcano dragon. Very rare breed, and powerful if raised right.
“This is nice,” I muttered. And it really was. No head hunts at the moment, no fighting or shouting. Just a nice little afternoon with my would be rivals. Hey, they pushed for it.
“What do you want, Zoro,” Celestia asked me. Always the serious one.
“What I want is for there to be no more head hunts,” I said. “I think I’ve served my time, thank you very much.”
“You-”
“No,” I interrupted the orange mare, whom I now know as Applejack. “You try being hunted down for eight years and then becoming sentient stone for the next fifteen hundred.” What I playing this card too much? I probably was, but it was a great way of guilt tripping them.
“So how did you redirect the Elements,” Flutters asked. “I didn’t know anyone could do that.” She was much more confident around me now, after seeing that I wasn't some sort of horrible monster. Probably helps that she likes animals and I told her my similarities to monkeys.
“I didn't,” I said as the young drake returned, beautiful cup in my hands. “I simply dodged.”
The next minute was full of them saying how it was impossible to have dodged their Friendship Cannon of Rainbows.
“Okay then, tell me, what were your thoughts when firing the Elements?”
“Stop being a meanie pants.”
“Ah don’ know, do somethin’.”
“To seal you back in stone.”
“To stop harming the Princesses.”
“To become nice.”
“And there’s my point,” I said, taking a sip of the tea. “Your thoughts weren’t properly synced up, so you couldn't actually control what they did, only the general direction of where they went. They are just a tool that will go down the path of least resistance, from purification to petrification. If you were more ‘harmonious’ in what you wanted them to do, we wouldn't be having this conversation.” Probably. I mean, I am a character from One Piece. Impossible has no say there.
“How… do you know all this,” Celestia asked, eyes narrowing at my explanation.
“My friend, Clover. She did a whole research project on it while studying under Beardy.”
“Clover,” Twilight said excitedly. “As in Clover the Clever, apprentice to Starswirl the Bearded! One of the most accomplished unicorns in history!”
“Yep, that's the one,” I said. I looked down at my drink, my features softening. Damn I missed that bitch, even with all of her attitude and yelling at me. She made a mean stew.
“Tell me all abou-”
“Now is not the time to indulge in idle banter, young Twilight,” Luna said impatiently.
“Isn't that what we’re here for though?” She sent a choking glare my way. “Yesh, tough crown. So, what do the two demigod princesses want to know, exactly?”
“I have thought over your words for a millennium and a half, and I have changed a few of my ways in small ways,” Celly told me. “So I've decided that, since we know one side of the story, tell us how the minotaurs came to fear you as they did. It should be a most amusing story.”
“I'm proud of you, Sunny,” I said, eye widening. “You've grown up.”
She chuckled slightly. “After my life, I've had to.”
“Alrighty then,” I said, drinking the last of my tea. “Long ago, in a country far, far away…”
===[1508 years ago, Minos Kingdom]===
A small fire burned before me, a cockatrice being roasted to a crisp. Sometimes, I wonder how dead I'd be if I didn't have Zoro’s body.
I've spent a year here since I bought that earring and I have to say, I'm kind of impressed. With all the crazy shit I've seen, I know for a fact that I wouldn't make it out here on my own. Well, maybe. Those horse furries seem very skittish to be perfectly honest.
So what was there to do for a seventeen year old, abused boy with the body of one overpowered anime swordsman to do? Well, what I did was wander around a shit ton. Yep, rumors of a deformed Minotaur wielding three swords have been spread in hushed whispers. Still hurt that they thought that I was deformed.
I've mostly used that time to get familiar with my new limits. A lot of what I do is mostly muscle memory (wonder why?), and Haki was fairly easy to pick up. Granted I failed at first but hey, I've got it down well enough. It was also a challenge learning how to hold back. Even in the show, Zoro had a hard time holding back. Luckily, I'm not him 100%. I can mostly reign in my power when need be, but it's still difficult to control.
Another thing was getting to know my swords better. Don't look at me like that, it's true. I don't know how to explain it but all of these swords had a kind of… presence to them. Wado Ichimonji was calming, like the kind of feeling when near an old, trusted friend. Shusui was like a grandfather in a way, undeniably old and a feeling of wisdom came from it. Sandai Kitetsu was… slightly worrying. Like the pirate hunter once said, it would be a problem child.
So, as I waited for my food to continue roasting, my haki picked up three somethings coming my way from around fifty meters North-ish. Wasn’t on the level of city scouting yet but it was great for scouting. Well, I can’t kill my fire and hide my tracks that fast, so I’ll just wait. Waiting is always good. Less stress.
So as I turned the chicken-like creature (it honestly tasted like a mix of snake and turkey) on the spit one more time, they entered the clearing.
Two minotaurs and a griffon. One minotaur was grey and muscular, covered in leather armor. The other one was a chestnut brown and slimmer than the other, with golden armor and weapons. The griffon was silver with a black cloak and a bow strapped onto her back.
“This was what made the trail we were following? I thought it would be some sort of horrifying monster, not this! And what are you even supposed to be,” the golden warrior asked, snorting a bit.
“Hungry,” I sarcastically said before taking a bite of my dinner. Cockatrice always tasted weird… “and you might make me Annoyed.” What can I say, sarcasm is a teen’s favorite weapon!
He was apparently upset with my answer as he slowly started turning red. The griffon was stifling a laugh.
“You dare mock me, Prince Iron Bull! I will have your head, you dull creature!”
“Well, you see,” I started. “That would be intimidating if you were, well, intimidating.” What can I say, gotta love references. “But I implore you, leave before you regret it.”
Quick lesson in pride; Minotaurs have a lot of it. And if anything dismisses them, to them, it’s like taking a bullet to the ass. Embarrassing. It’s even worse for adolescents, due to them being so bull headed (Ha, puns!) and full of confusing hormones. And because of him being a prince, it was probably worse by 10x.
So he mooed, which was worthy of my chuckle, took his axe, and was about to hit me with his third head. Luckily, the grey one tried to stop him.
“Lord, please don’t be rash about this! We don’t even know who or what that is!” I’m a he and hungry.
“Yeah, this is probably a bad idea,” the griffon, probably female, said. “I’m getting bad vibes from him.”
“I don’t care,” he retorted cleverly. “He mocked me, so his head will adorn my wall!” Yeesh, harsh much? I pulled out my sword as he rushed me, for all intents and purposes, trying to kill me. I deflected the blade and used my own attack.
I cut one of his horns off.
Lesson two about minotaurs kiddies; Their machismo revolves around their horns. The bigger and stronger the horns, the stronger they appear and are more likely to get mates. I only learned years later that cutting off a horn was one of the worst punishments to them. It goes back to an old tyrant of theirs who favored cutting them off of foes that he defeated and paraded them around for their failure before throwing them into his dungeons. Nowadays, it’s seen as telling your opponent that they aren’t even a worthy enough challenge to kill or that you aren’t worth bearing the name of the species.
At the time, I thought that it was a simple way to intimidate him. Instead, I humiliated him on a major scale.
He froze as he stared at the fallen… what’s a clever word for horn? Eh, whatever, I'm not webster’s favorite novel. Anywho, he stared at it and just went f***ing berserk. He was like a tiny stampede with an axe. I focused a fair amount of Observation into his moves and just dodged until I saw an opening.
I brought down the hilt of my sword down onto his skull. A sickening crack filled the air before he fell like a sack of wet potatoes. And now I knew how much of an apt phrase it was.
“My prince!” The grey minotaur rushed to grab his charge(?) as the one horned minotaur crashed into the ground. As he checked to see if he was alive, which he was, I put my sword away and resumed my dinner.
One should never interrupt me while eating.
He swore vengeance on me or something and promptly left with the unconscious bull. I offered the griffon a bit of meat and we just talked. Weird way to meet someone, but hey, I’m me.
Eventually I learned her name. Artemis.
===[Present, Golden Oak Library]===
“... and after that, the prince just started sending hunters and bounty hunters after me. When he inherited the throne, out came armies, and the rest is history.”
The room was silent as they absorbed the information. After a minute of silence and me finishing my cup(I was really going to need to go to the bathroom soon), Twilight turned to Applejack.
“Was he telling the truth?”
She looked a little annoyed at the question.
“Look, ya’ll,” she started. “Jus’ ‘cause Ah’m the Element of Honesty doesn’t make me a lie detector. Do Ah think he’s got a reason to lie? No, he don’t. Do Ah believe him? Ah’ll take his word on it an’ take it with a grain o’ salt.”
“‘Tis an untrue statement, Lady Applejack,” Luna said. “The Elements give their bearers certain abilities depending on the Element. Honesty give thee the ability to detect lies and subterfuge if they focus. Generosity allows thee to see the worth in everything before thy eyes. Laughter is able to affect the moods of those surrounding the bearer. Kindness is capable of persuading almost any creature to do as the bearer asks of those folk at when they put their mind to it.. Loyalty increases the physical abilities of the bearer. And Magic increases the mana pool pool and the leadership arts of the owner.” Now it was Luna’s turn to become the center of attention.
“Um, why didn’t anyone tell us,” the pegasus mumbled. “I mean, it seems like something important to mention…”
“They were probably holding the info until it was useful to the story,” Pinkie said. “It's what I’d do.”
I was about to make one of my ever so witty comments when I smelled something burning. Turning to the smell, I almost felt sorry for the chair and tea cup.
Celestia’s calm, motherly mask was crumbling, revealing a seriously pissed off demigod figure. “So, you mean to tell me,” she spit out, making most ponies and the dragon flinch as they heard the venom in her words. “That we sent thousands of our ponies to die, hunting down a single creature, all because some headstrong bucking calf got his horn cut off! Because of his hurt bucking pride!”
I nodded. That seemed to rile her up even more. Knowing what the end result might be, I gave her advice.
Pointing my thumb south-east, I said, “Go to the edge of town, and there’s no sapient life for kilometers that way.”
“Thank you,” she angrily muttered before walking out. Twilight was about to go after her, but Luna grabbed her shoulder, shaking her head.
“‘Tis best not to be close to Our sister when she’s…”
“Angry?”
“Upset?”
“Nettled?”
“Pissed,” she said.
Before anyone could make a comment, they heard a roar.
“RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!”
An intense heatwave was felt by everyone present. And before you say anything, I’m not switching over to their native lingo anytime soon. The six girls rushed to the door to see their benevolent diarch level a good portion of the scary woods.
“Why aren’t you more upset,” I asked the lunar princess.
“We have spent the last thousand years trapped upon Our moon from our anger and jealousy. We have been attending anger management, in hopes of-”
“Not repeating your tantrum?”
She breathed in heavily through her nose and out her mouth. “Not Our first choice of words, but yes. We’ve also been waiting for a good fight to let it all go at once.” Ah, yes. Anger always comes out cleaner when you beat the crap out of someone. Have fun with violence, kiddies!
“S-should we be worried,” the drake asked us. “I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the Princess like that.”
“Believe Us,” Luna told him, “when We say that she used to blow up at the littlest things before. ‘Twas quite humorous when We were younger. It became an issue when we ascended to the thrones.”
“Huh, did she ever do the whole ‘Fiery Death from Above’ thing when going against anyone?”
“Nay, just thou.”
“Neat.” In case you’re wondering, Observation haki. It’s literally my answer to everything.
It was at that moment when Miss Supernova decided to reappear inside the tree house. Oh my Tao I just got the joke! TREE HOUSE!
…
…I’m a f***ing retard.
“I apologize for the way I conducted myself there,” Celly said before sitting back down. More than a few of them were slightly leaning away after that display of power that she had.
“It’s, um, alright, your Majesty,” Rarity said, trying to be not freaked out.
“Ah’d be rightly mad if Ah heard something like that about mah family,” AJ said.
“Well, now we must decide on what to do with you, Zoro,” the Solar Princess said.
“What,” I moaned. “I’ve told you already, I’ve done my time and took my chances. What else are you gonna do?”
“Seeing as how all you’ve done is under the name of self-defence, just in case, you shall be put under parole for an indefinite amount of time.”
I narrowed my eyes. “And who, dare I ask, would be my parole officer? As far as I can tell, you can’t forcibly detain me.”
She got one of those smiles going on. The one that mothers usually have when giving her young child a piece of paper and asking them to make a birthday card. It will end horribly but will be amusing.
“Why, none other than my student here,” Celestia said, motioning towards the lavender unicorn.
Said unicorn was frozen like a deer in headlights, which is a fitting metaphor. Eyes were saucer-sized and mouth acting as though it was a gasping fish.
“Yeeeaaah, I’m going to have to say no on that,” I said. “I’m not going to have bookworm there breathing down my neck 24/7. Why not you two?”
“We don’t have as much free time as We did those many years ago,” Luna stated, arms crossed over her chest. “Our sister has Day Court and We must attend speech therapy.”
“Why?” She just stared at me as her words, ironically, sank in. “Never mind.”
“And why not give one of our most dangerous enemies into the custody of the Elements of Harmony?”
“Because I still kicked your ass. Look, can’t I just stay the scary monster of the Everfree? Not like I’ll go attacking anyone there. Well, except for the cragodiles…”
“No, I have made my mind on this. You will stay here with Twilight Sparkle.”
Hmm, now that I think about it…
Pros: I’ll be in civilization, where I’ll be able to get information better and indoor plumbing. It wasn’t invented way back when, so yay. And if I wait things out, I’ll be able to eventually do my own thing without being attacked instantly.
Cons: Be a ‘prisoner’ and possible research subject if some of the other Displaced were correct.
Well, logic dictates…
“Fine,” I said, huffing a bit. “I’ll play your game. But you better expect that I’ll go out every once and awhile.”
“That’s all I can hope for,” she said. “Come, Luna, let’s go explain this to the nobles.”
Both of the princesses teleported out of the room, leaving me with six unfamiliar bodies who say me as possible public enemy number one. The pink one was about to say something, but I clamped my hand around her lips.
“No. Shouting.”
She nodded and whispered something about parties.
Why do I feel as though I might regret staying.
===[3rd POV]===
Three figures sat in a cavern, a crystal ball before them.
“Are you sure these are correct,” the first figure asked with a gravelly voice. He was of massive build, arguably larger than the other two combined
“I’m not some newly hatched nymph,” the second, distinctly female, voice stated. “These are as good as you’ll get given the circumstances. It’s hard looking for those without magical signatures, but those surrounding him act as a decent anchor. The void stuff and Tartarus residue will give you only the images of their person,not the area.”
“Good,” he said, crossing his legs. “Brother, I think it might be time to move onto Phase 2. Make sure that the soldiers are ready for it to comense.”
The third one, just as tall as the first but noticeably skinnier, nodded. “I’m on it, bro!” He and the female left the first voice to his own devices, as they usually did. It was never wise to let him wait for results.
The figure stared at the green clad swordsman through the magic orb. A wide grin spread across his face. “Brook, Nico Robin, Vinsmoke Sanji, and Roronoa Zoro, eh? This certainly is getting interesting. Zehahaha!”