"They have been gone forr an awfully long time," Kepler declared, rummaging through the glowing wagon's contents. He straightened several of the crates while simultaneously examining their rattled contents. "Surrely—unimpeded—Serraphimus would have made herr exit by now."
"Well, I guess it depends," Ariel said, tail flicking in concern as she paced by the nearest tunnel. She looked forlornly into the shadowed corridor. "Will Rainbow stop her?"
"If she's smart she will," Flynn muttered, leaning back and sharpening an Emeraldinian rapier.
"Lay off it, baldy," Logan muttered.
"Hah!" Flynn smirked bitterly across the chamber. "You're one to tell me to shut up! It's your fault she's free from her chains to begin with!"
"Then I guess it's my fault we're not troll food at the moment." Logan casually bit into a chunk of freshly-cooked meat. "Mrmmmff... you're welcome."
"Oh go soak your fat head, fatass!"
"That's a double 'fat.'" Logan gulped his food down and lethargically glanced at the bald unicorn. "Your insults are getting redundant."
"Stop treating this like it's some kind of a joke!" Flynn swung the sword into a nearby stalacmite. Clakkk! His mechanical eye angrily rotated in and out as he sneered: "It's our job to make sure the Austraeoh accomplishes her task while remaining alive! And your damned stupid impulsiveness could very well have cost us everything!"
"You don't know Seraphimus like I do," Logan muttered. Nevertheless, he avoided the stallion's gaze for the moment. "She's far past the need for bloodthirsty revenge—"
"No! You don't know that, Logan!" Flynn said firmly. "Time and time again that damned griffin has proven to be unpredictable as Hell! What—are we supposed to sacrifice everything we swore our lives to just because you've suddenly made yourself a Dark Side travel-buddy?!"
"It's not like that," Logan droned.
"Isn't it, though?"
"We're just..." Logan winced. "Seraphimus is just starting to come to grips with the reality of the situation—"
"Yeah! And that's why she's skipping off like an angsty teenager with nothing to prove!"
"Grnnngh..." Logan face-hoofed. "...egghead..."
"Don't 'egghead' me!" Flynn grunted. "You're starting to lose your priorities, Big Show!"
"Now just wait a damned—"
"If we were here to reform villains, we'd be making a epic quest to Equestria! Not the Midnight Armory, Goddess-damn-it!"
"Please..." Ariel rubbed her face with both hooves, moaning. "Can we please stop arguing..."
"Who's arguing?!" Logan shrugged. "I'm just sitting down to eat! Flynn over there is the crazy dog-in-heat trying to crucify me—"
"Yeah?!?" Ariel suddenly snapped, flying into Logan's face and snarling. "And you think he doesn't have a good reason to?!"
Logan leaned back, blinking in surprise. "Whoah, girl—"
"You made your decision without consulting Rainbow Dash! Without consulting the rest of us!" Ariel gnashed her teeth. "Did you even stop to consult your own good senses?!"
Logan gestured wildly. "How else were we gonna stave off the army of freaktards rushing up on our buttholes out there?! I did what made the most sense at the time—"
"No, you made a decision based on what was right in front of you without bothering to think twice!" Ariel exclaimed. "What gets me is that you didn't even try to come up with another option! What if we used the rune stones to blow up a trench in the army's path?! What if we used Kepler's magic bag of alchemic tricks to set the trolls on fire?! But noooooo! Let's release the angry vindictive psychopathic death chicken who's had a murder boner for Rainbow Dash from day one! That's totally the smart choice!"
"I wouldn't have done that if I didn't realize she had changed!" Logan growled.
"She's not the one who changed, Logan! You are!" Ariel frowned. "Since when did the bold and badass Big Show make grand decisions out of how he felt?"
"If I went with the way I felt..." Logan stood up in a blink, looming over Ariel. "...I wouldn't have come along with this flamin' shit circus to begin with! I have a daughter back in Rohbredden, Ariel! A baby foal! You think I felt fine with just leaving her to shiver under all them damned Windigoes?!"
"Logan, come on..." Flynn sighed, waving a hoof. "She didn't mean—"
"Damn your eyes, 'she didn't mean it!'" Logan huffed, eyes narrowing on the mare. "And who are you to lecture me about letting 'feelings' guide my actions, sweetcheeks? Not a day goes by when you don't reduce yourself to a brainless raincloud whenever the Austraeoh so much as farts in your direction—!"
"Dammit Big Show—" Ariel raised a hoof.
Swisssssh! Kepler glided to a stop between them. "Brrotherrs!" He held Ariel back with his scorpion tail and placed a wing against Logan's chest. "Frriends! Cease this adolescent prrattling at once—!"
"Did you hear what he said—?!" Ariel began.
"Can't keep her wings limp to save her soul—" Logan balked.
Suddenly, a ferocious lion's roar rumbled cacophonously through the cave. The air shook, and in the epicenter of the sabre-rattling vibration was Kepler's rabid face. His spectacles had shaken loose, revealing two frighteningly wide eyes in the center of a fiery flaring mane. "SILENCE!!!"
Ariel blinked, plopping to the ground and locking up.
Logan's ears folded back as his pupils shrunk to pinpricks.
From a distance, Flynn blinked. His knees were weak. "... ... ...whoah."
"Grffff..." Kepler exhaled, his limbs and shoulders going slack. Slowly—like a deflating tire—his mane went limp around his otherwise small frame. "Goddess above..." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "...getting harrderr and harrderr to hold the innerr manticorre at bay." He took several deep breaths, brushed his mane straight, then placed his spectacles back into place with extraordinary care. At long last, he stood tall and proud, once again in possession of his calm and collective demeanor. "Do we not owe the Austrraeoh grreaterr rrespect than this? Did not the Mountain Matrron have a good and faithful rreason forr sacrrificing herr verry own life? Orr Axan, forr that matterr? Barrd? Rremna? Arriel's own motherr—may they all rrest in peace..."
Logan hung his head.
Ariel bit her lip and rubbed her shoulder and wings with a pensive hoof.
Flynn sighed, reaching a fetlock up to brush away bangs that weren't there.
"Big Show..." Kepler looked over. "...yourr frriends arre angrry at what you have done, not who you arre... even if they lack the arrticulate means of explaining that to you. And even if you feel disrrespected—and I underrstand why you would—you must not lowerr yourrself to a brrutish level by rrudely attacking anotherr one of us forr how she chooses to prrotect and cherrish the Austrraeoh." He turned to face Ariel. "Arriel... while therre may orr may not be a dangerr inherrent in Logan's decision, I see no rreason to attack his faculty to deal with prroblems logically. Afterr all, he has weatherred farr morre harrdships than the rrest of us and come out strrongerr and morre tenacious forr it." At last, he turned towards Flynn in the distance. "Flynn... yourr angerr is justified, and I would be lying if I said I did not feel the frrustrration too. But I was also therre when the trrolls attacked us and I cannot see how any otherr option would have saved us... aside frrom the brrash albeit forrtuitous decision that Logan made. Consistently berrating him is not goint to imprrove ourr situation whatsoeverr. We must instead choose to deal with what is ahead... and do so as a team."
"That's just the thing, Keps..." Flynn waved a hoof. "With Seraphimus on the loose, we can't see what lies ahead! Am... am I the only pony who's freaked out about this?"
"I'm freaked out about this," Ariel muttered.
"She is not going to turn on us now," Logan said. "Call it an emotional intuition if you like—but I just feel it in my gut. Besides..." He looked up. "If she wanted to axe Rainbow Dash, she's had the opportunity to do so on many occasions. Hell, she could even do so now!"
Flynn shook his head. "Not with Wildcard by her side."
"Well then—what rreason do we have at prresent to worrry?" Kepler shrugged, forming a hopeful smile. "The Rrainbow One is well prrotected in the Desperrado's carre! Unless Wildcarrd werre to rrandomly show up, pale and brreathless, then we needn't sweat, my frriends!"
Just then, Wildcrad randomly showed up, pale and breathless.
Kepler's scorpion tail went limp. "Buh?"
"Oh shit..." Ariel flapped her wings, teeth clenched. "She went berserk and attacked Rainbow, didn't she?"
Wildcard shook his head. He began to gesture—
"She's got Rainbow prisoner?!?" Flynn gasped.
The Desperado stifled a hissing sound. He tried gesturing again—
Schiiing! Logan stood up, axe held high. "They're being attacked by giant cave lizards!" Bonk! A bo-staff ricocheted off his head. "Ow! Asshole...!"
Kepler sighed. "Perrhaps I should have trried that earrlierr..."
"Just... just tell us what you need to tell us, dude," Flynn said.
Frowning, Wildcard finished signing his anxious announcement.
"Leave... leave the wagon...?" Ariel blinked. "Leave it for what?"
Wildcard motioned after him as he flew backwards up the tunnel.
"I... I don't get it!" Flynn's voice cracked. "What's outside?"
Wildcard gulped... then simply motioned again. He turned tail and flew up the corridor.
The remaining Heraldites exchanged glances.
"What... the hell is this all about...?" Flynn stammered.
"Ach!" Kepler was the first to glide after the griffin. "Therre is simply one way to find out! Let us prroceed!"
"I... got a very bad feeling about this," Ariel said, floating after.
"Hey Keps! Ariel!" Flynn galloped as well. "Wait up!"
"Rnnngh..." Logan rubbed his head, picked up Bard's bo-staff, and lurched up the rear of the group. "...one of these days—I swear—the stupid has got to wear off."
Minutes later...
...Logan caught up with the group.
"Okay... what's so big about this shit?"
There was no response.
Kepler, Ariel, and Flynn had joined Wildcard, Rainbow Dash, and Seraphimus in gawking Curveside. A blue glow glinted across their wide eyes.
"Hmmm? Hello?" Logan limped into the open exit. "What the Hell—?" He froze in place as well. His ears pricked above widely blinking eyes. "Oh. Uh... that's a thing."
Wildcard nodded, whistling limply into the air.
"Uhm..." Ariel's eyebrow twitched. "...what were we arguing about again?"
"Uhhhhhh..." Flynn wheezed. "...panties? I dunno..."
"My starrs and garrterrs..." Someone else said.