//------------------------------// // 3: My Secret Life as a Changeling Princess // Story: My Secret Journal // by RDDash //------------------------------// I've been thinking it would have been really cool if I was the Changeling princess. I know they do have a Queen, so if there is a Queen so there must be a Princess, right? And there is me, a filly who don't even have parents, or for that matter a filly who never bothered to acknowledge her own parent's existence. I do kind of think that even if I was secretly a Changeling Princess then, I guess, I would be considered an extreme embarrassment to all Changeling kind, at least they can fly! Unless I am actually a Changeling Princess who actually can fly, but in actuality, I play a perfect role as a cute pegasus filly with flying disability to collect the love energy. All the other ponies will be like, "Look who is the little filly! That's Scootaloo!" And then I will just make cute puppy eyes, and then they would be like, "Aww! All of us suddenly got a Heart Attack" Wait! Is Maud Pie's stone Boulder secretly a changeling? I mean, we all know that Changelings can transform into almost anything, and there is Maud who just talks crazy with her pet rock. Don't get me wrong, I actually really like the idea of a pet rock. It's so totally rad and awesome! I would take a bunch of coloring pencils and then I would draw a face on it. Eyes, nose, ears, mouth, eyebrows, mane and tail. I would call it Dave! Scootaloo felt a burst of happiness, after all, she really liked that idea. Um, okay, so like, if I was secretly a Changeling Princess then I am going to rule my subjects with kindness, and I guess it would have been nice to have some sort of magical artifact to secretly brainwash other ponies, to have some sort of army of mind slaves. But I won't do it, it's kind of mean. I never liked horse puns, personally I kind of find it a bit annoying. I mean Ponehange, Old Ponish, Roctorate, Toraindo. Scootallooo rolled her eyes. Speaking of Pnehange we also have Bales, Baltimare, Bitsburg, Bridleway, Bronclyn, Carneighie Hall, Chicoltgo, Coltifornia, Gallopinghost Islands, Hooflyn, Horsolulu, Madysoat Square Garden, Mare-is, Neigh York, Neigh Mexicolt, Neighcy's San Flanksisco, Fransiscolt, Seaddle, South Ameighrica, Timbucktu, Trot as in the City of Trot and Trotan Horse, Troitland, and my personal favorite Whinny World. You would think that we would have named our cities slightly a bit more different, you know, like with a bit more originality to it... Scootaloo sighed, and then started to write again. ...You would think that maybe we shouldn't have terrible puns, or have city names that don't scream like we took some other names and just plastered those puns on top of them. Speaking of names! who the hey names their foals Trouble Shoes. It's like your parents just want to hate you! Now Mjölna is a very cool name. Is that because she sounds foreign? Yeah! Let's see, Spoiled Rich! Yep, her parents hated her! Spoiled Milk makes it so much worse! Its like she is broken goods if you know what I mean! Dr. Horse, you know Pinkie Pie once told me that he is not a cynical a-hole as many would think. Hard Hat, you are telling me there is literally a pony who is named Hard Hat! I bet my freedom that he does wears a hard hat, and he is a construction worker as well. Oh, wait he does, and he is! Rip my chitin of and color me impressed because we just caught a changeling! Hey, Everypony Hard Hat is a changeling spy! Perfect Pie! Are you by any chance related to Pinkie Pie?! Stinking and Filthy Rich, oh sure why don't you just paint 1% as your cutie mark! Mare E. Belle, huh, I guess we found Sweetie Belle's long lost sister, I don't know! Maybelline? Oh, Buck No! Discord what the hey did you do? Offbeat, now I know this pony is with some issues its literally in her name, thanks, Celestia! Full Steam, sigh, Changeling spy. Ginger Beard, Changeling spy. Parcel Post, a Changeling spy. Pickpocket, his parents hated him as well! Pokerhooves, you guess it, we caught ourselves a Changeling spy! Shamrock! Oh for Discord's sake! a Changeling spy! Smokestack, Changeling spy. You know what? it's tiring how many there are changelings spies that are out there. It makes me wonder why my mother even bothered with invasion. Maybe because I am secretly a Changeling Princess naturally I feel disgusted by the horse themed puns because I am a bug pony thing. Oh by the way, almost forgot, thanks, Starswirl, without you, we would never get a chance to even existing. It could have been much more disgusting. At least you threw some pony skeleton into radioactive waste. I skipped my history lessons okay! Although I doubt that you wanted to put that detail into history books. What I am trying to say is it could have been a teleportation accident with somepony fusing with a fly. Why nobody ever thought of this idea we are going to take Seapony eggs and then we are going to sell them to little kids as pets. We are going to call the project Instant Life. I know it a bit messed up, but hey it just might work. "My Little Sea Pony! My Little Sea Pony! What is being a pet is all about! My Little Sea Pony! My Little Seapony! Exotic Pet Slavery is Magic!" My Little Sea Pony! I used to wonder what my morality could be! My Little Sea Pony! Until you shared this excitement with me! When I was young I was too busy to begin making new pet slaves. Such silly thing doesn't seem to be worth the effort and e-expense! But with Little Sea Ponies open up my eyes! And now the truth is crystal clear! And spend your Summer skies! And such a wonderful surprise! Uhh! My Little Sea Pony! I used to wonder what my morality could be! My Little Sea Pony! Until you all shared its magic with me! "Our new pet slave is magic, and its growing all the time! The new adventure awaits for, us, each day, you and I! We will make it special every time! We will make it special every time! My Little Sea Pony What a wonderful world of morality it could be! My Little Sea Pony! You are now are all my very best pet slaves! My very best pet slave-e-e-es!" Scootallooo slowly started to chuckle with a hint of green tint in the corner of her eyes. Hm... Oh, I know. Let us go back to the Changeling Princess Idea because that's totally who I am, I am a Changeling Princess, I guess this makes Chryssalys my biological mom.... I am starting to think that I am cursed to be a filly for many many years, but that's just going to be another chapter of my life. A very confusing life if I must say.Does saying crystal clear makes it into the racial slur? hm, weird. Scootaloo started to brainstorm more ideas, what else she could write. In a world, full of ponies, there is a Changeling Princess who is all alone. She must keep her existence a complete secret because of some strange and unexplained reason. Maybe because Changelings are scary and icky! Or maybe because that Changeling Princess is too scared of other ponies who are going to judge her for her mother's actions! Scootaloo closed her journal and then hid it inside a table once again.