Everything is colder and darker with every passing second. I don’t know if I’m even breathing, I can’t feel anything. I can think, but that can be the final moment before my lungs completely fill with blood and I choke.
“Why are you just standing there?” asks the rumbly voice, “Do something!”
“I-I-I don’t know what!” the female voice comes closer, “C-Can I t-touch you?”
“Oh for crying out loud I doubt he’s even conscious! HEAL HIM!”
“B-b-b-but if I t-touch him wrong he’ll hate me again...”
“He never hated you!”
“B-b-but he left me-”
“We’ve gone over this.”
“I,” a deep breath, “I know, I know, I know. But-”
“If you let him die THEN he’ll be really pissed off, though!”
“EEEP!”
Sudden burst of nervous skittering around me follows.
“So, how is he?”
“It’s bad, it’s really bad. My magic isn’t working.”
“Look, if there is somepony who can get though his magic resistance then it’s you. Remember! You knew every crack in his armor, every weakness, every strength. THINK! Your divinity will work.”
Heh, nope.
“I-i-i-i-it’s not working, it’s not working. I can’t do anything, I can’t help him just like last time, I’m useless. He was right to hate me-”
“HE LOVED YOU, HE LOVES YOU, AND HE WILL LOVE YOU UNLESS YOU LET HIM DIE HERE!”
Poof!
“T-t-this c-can work, r-right?”
“Bandages, you summoned bandages for massive internal hemorrhage.”
“Bandages solve everything?”
“He’s not breathing.”
“Nonononononononononono-”
Now, I wonder if MY guess about my divinity was correct, or if I’ll bleed out here.
***
I open my-
I don’t open my eyes.
Good job, paranoia. Let’s not show we’re awake.
Morning, Blazing.
Hi, Mistake. We’re alive then?
Let me check. Yeah, we are.
And where are we?
Can’t say exactly. I don’t have as much access into your memories as I used to. Looks like a cave with a lot of ponies and Corrupted having sex.
So I died and am in heaven then.
Well, everyone else is getting some but YOU. Not much of a heaven unless you prefer watching.
Hey, if my life is supposed to flash before my eyes as I die, these must be my school years. And quite a lot afterwards...
Sooo...
Yeah yeah, I’m getting up. Let me just-
Focusing on my horn, I gather energy for my tracing spell.
Large cavern, pillars randomly scattered around, piles of something I can’t identify from the white outlines, ponies and tentacled Corrupted having fun.
Oh dear, it’s Joy’s dimension. On the other hoof, if she still wanted me dead, she wouldn’t save me from Harmony.
Maybe she wants to save the pleasure of slowly killing you for herself.
Weren’t YOU supposed to be the voice of reason?
I’m supposed to point out the possibilities you missed.
Alright.
Time to bite the bullet.
“Urrgh...” I groan, pushing myself up despite the spikes of pain all over my barrel, “Owowowowowow...”
“Our esteemed guest is awake,” rumbles a deep voice, “And here was I doubting the bandages, heh.”
“Vert-” I rasp. Realizing I can barely speak, I cough to clear my throat, “Vertradict. I didn’t think I would hear you again, at least not before my painful, fiery death.”
I finally manage to sit up and look around. Just like last time, there’s not much to see. Enormous cavern, the tainted gold dragon curled by the walls, lots of ponies and Corrupted mating. No big deal.
I sniff the air.
Weird, heavy with obvious scents, but strangely fresh considering this is an enclosed space and the eternal slow orgy of lust-addled victims fueled by this pocket dimension’s power. In fact, it smells a little like chopped grass. I like that.
“I wouldn’t dream of attacking somepony who nearly killed a god on his own,” he laughs, “I may be a dragon, but my balls aren’t THAT big.”
I look. I can’t see into the dark shadows that far away, but my tracing spell can. They are.
“Nearly?” I sigh, “Craaaaaap...”
“I’ll let Joy fill you in on the details, but the mare you were fighting escaped. Joy and I threw everything we could at her, but… the best we could do was slow her down.”
Nodding, I sigh again.
“Yeah, unless I’m in the equation she’ll either regenerate faster than you can hurt her, or you’ll run out of stamina before you break her.”
“You know, I didn’t fully understand what you were up against last time we met. I do now. I had a… different idea about you.”
“Don’t take it the wrong way, but what you think about me really doesn’t matter.”
“Heh, wrong. Although it might not matter in the long run when faced with enemies of that mare’s caliber, what I think about you matters a lot because of-”
“H-h-h-he’s a-awake?” I hear… Joy? Is that shaky and nervous voice really the mare who wanted to fry me alive and watch me sizzle last time?
Vertradict smiles.
“-this.”
“H-hello, Bl-Blazing Light. M-mister Bla-Blazing L-Light, I mean. S-sorry.”
Joy is standing in front of me, wings spread out and one leg raised. She looks ready to flee any second.
I push myself on all fours. Joy takes a step backwards.
“Joy? Thank you for saving me. Both you and Vertradict.”
“I-I didn’t d-do much. I just s-summoned some b-b-bandages and it h-helped.”
Vertradict rolls his eyes.
“Joy, it was clearly some innate regenerat-”
“It helped,” I interrupt him, “Thank you.”
Joy tilts her head.
“R-really? V-V-Vert kept s-saying that I w-was-”
“It helped. I’m here, alive, and in one piece. That’s what coun- ohmefuckingdammitthathurts!”
Joy’s crushing embrace can’t be good for my doubtlessly barely healed organs. Thankfully, as I curse in agony she stops and shuffles back.
“S-sorry. I-I screwed up a-again, didn’t I? I w-won’t touch you ag-again if y-you don’t want t-that. I’m s-sorry f-f-for making you h-h-h-hat-hate me.”
“Joy?”
“Y-yes?”
“I don’t hate you. I never hated you. Right now I’m not even sure I know you. Why would you think that?”
“B-but you didn’t want to st-stay with me. T-there’s ev-everything here f-f-for you. I w-w-waited for y-you all this t-time, and all you w-wanted after c-c-coming here was to l-leave. It- it hurt so m-m-much. So much.”
“I’m sorry, Joy. It looks like everything I do only hurts you. I don’t want to do that, I just do,” I shake my head, “But I can’t change that, not in the way you want me to.”
“W-w-why? Be-because I’m n-not good enough? I-I knew that. Bu-but I can change, I c-can change ev-everything n-now. J-just tell me. B-bigger b-butt? You’ve al-always like p-plots. L-longer legs? I can b-b-be a v-virgin again. An-anyth-”
She’s crazy. Not in a homicidal way like before, but still crazy,
Yet.
I take a step towards her. She takes one back.
Again.
And again.
Six burning tentacles sprout from the floor, one wrapping itself around each her leg, one grabbing Joy’s barrel, and one carefully tangling itself around the back of her neck.
Alright, this will either work, or I’m gonna be set on fire.
I nuzzle the straining alicorn’s neck until she stops struggling.
“I don’t hate you. I never have,” I repeat,“Please don’t think I hate you, it hurts me too.”
“B-but you b-brought Desert Sh-Shade with y-you. Sh-she hates m-me. She wants to h-hurt me.”
“Come on. You wanted to keep her away, and you went berserk when you noticed her. She just wanted to see the mother she’s never seen before and who had avoided any contact since her birth. If there’s somepony who deserved to feel really hurt after what happened last time, then it’s Des.”
“I- I- I- I-”
I put my hoof on her muzzle. She starts trembling even more.
“I can’t stay.”
“B-”
The hoof stays there.
“I can’t stay here with you. I have my life, and you have yours,” I circle my foreleg to point out the cavern, Vertradict, and its lust-crazed inhabitants.
She immediately uses the opportunity to take a deep breath and speak again,
“I-I’ll let it go if you w-want. All of it. I-It doesn’t m-matter! Y-you do.”
This time a new fiery tentacle presses itself against her lips. She begins sucking it. Quite a lot of it- wow- holy balls, that’s some reach- oh come on!
She actually kisses the floor with her lips, the whole tentacle as long as she’s tall inside her. After straightening up again, she keeps the tip in her mouth. Alicorns of Lust, geez. Both Scream and now Joy.
Not the plan, but at least she’s quiet now.
“But I don’t want that. I want you to have your life, your plans, your own hopes and dreams. I don’t want you to be… chained to me. I want to meet with more ponies than just you. I’ve got things I want to do to, I’ve got things I MUST do. I… can’t stay here with you. I don’t have the luxury anymore.”
She hangs her head, spitting the tentacle out.
“S-so you don’t w-want to be with m-me...”
“I always want to return to you. Not even death stopped me.”
Joy looks away, maybe just somewhere not in my direction, or maybe she's staring at Vertradict, or others in the way.
“C-can I k-k-keep this? Even w-when I n-need to sl-sl-sleep with th-them? When I’m ch-cheating on yo-you?”
Void, Void, Void… did you have this kind of trouble with Scream at some point?
Heh, I’m sure you did.
“Hey, I didn’t give you my full attention because of Cromach. Who’s to say that heart has only enough space for two?”
“H-how is h-he?” she asks quietly.
“Much like everypony else… completely out of my reach.”
“I s-see.”
Silence. She’s just standing there, seemingly unbothered by the tentacles binding her.
I don’t know what to say to fix this.
On the other hoof, I should add a new rule to live by.
Number one - the worth of a stallion is measured by the worth of his word.
And new number two - it’s not about what you say, it’s about what you do.
“Joy?”
“Y-yes?”
“Why are you scared of me?”
“I’m n-not. I’m sc-scared that I’ll say s-something that will m-m-make you go aw-away again.”
Am I willing to risk everything for her?
.
.
.
Yes, I am.
“When I last came here, it was to find Choking Darkness I remembered. When I last came here, you were waiting for the Blazing Light you remembered. Both those ponies are dead.”
“I-I-I can be her!” she pleads. Her horn flashes with red, and in the next moment the Chokey I remember stands in front of me, albeit the shifting shadows around her visible only to somepony able to ignore illusions like I am show Joy’s alicorn form, “S-see? We c-can go back-”
“No, we can’t.”
She recoils as if I physically slapped her.
“Chokey and Blaze were killed by Harmony. You are Joy, the alicorn of Lust. I am Blazing Light who didn’t change his name, the alicorn of… when I find out I’ll tell you. I want to get to know you, Joy. I used to know Chokey, but I want to know you. There’s more to you than that part hopelessly clinging to the past long gone.”
“I-I just w-w-want… you...” she sits down, the tentacles holding her dissipating, “I l-lost you s-s-so many t-times...”
“And I always came back. One thing you remember hasn’t changed about me. I still know you can do better than wanting me, but as long as you don’t find anypony, I’ll be there for you.”
“Mmmm...”
Here comes the hard part.
“To show you I’m not just blowing smoke, I’d like to give you a gift. The only thing I’ve got left.”
“Huh?” she looks up and around before stopping on me, “W-What?”
“My head.”
“Huh?” she repeats.
I walk closer to her, sit down, and hang my head low. She doesn’t move backwards. Whether it’s out of confusion or curiosity, I don’t know.
“I’ll restrain my magic resistance. You have gained a lot of Scream’s power and doubtlessly some of her memories and needs-”
Like her deep, desperate need to have Void around. Which, combined with your own, is driving you utterly crazy.
“-which I have no doubts included mastery over mental magic. I want you to make a change to my mind of your choice. Anything goes, just please keep it to one. You can wipe or confuse my memories. You can make me forget Cromach. You can make me be blindly crazy about you. Anything.”
“A-Anything?”
Okay, that eager expression is absolutely terrifying.
“I… I trust you not to do something which would hurt me. I trust you to… know what you want deep down. I think- KNOW you’re a good pony, you’ve always been. You know what’s good for me, for us, and you can think past yourself.”
Is this still Choking Darkness we’re talking about, because that sure doesn’t sound like her.
Mistake?
Backup plan in case she’s crazy?
I wouldn’t put it like that, but BUCK YES!
I’m glad you don’t blindly trust her like you would do before. For a second I wasn’t sure.
When I was completely broken, she put at least some pieces of me back together. I’ll do the same if it’s even possible. Keep an eye out on me in case she tries to make me a mindless doll she calls her coltfriend, though, will you?
Will do.
She stands up, shapeshifts back to Joy, and puts her horn to mine.
“I… I think I know w-what I r-really want.”
I know that defeated tone of voice.
She wants to make me forget HERSELF!
Sudden pressure inside my head follows. It’s like a soft breeze with the slightest hint of ozone calming my whole being down. The pressure grows unpleasant, then suddenly stops.
“All done,” says Joy. Weird, her stuttering is gone. Was my gesture enough to make her trust me, at least a bit?
Huh, was I wrong? I can remember her just fine.
Mistake, situation report? Did she actually do something?
She did, I just don’t know what. She didn’t touch your memories, but she did change you in some way.
Alright, internal checkup.
Cromach? Deep love and even deeper regret.
Joy? Crazy but I want to give her a shot anyway.
Desert Shade? ‘My’ second daughter, in a very strange sense. I should talk to her again. Possibly take Joy with me.
Guiding? I must stop Harmony.
Heavy? Dat ass.
Did I forget anypony important?
Nope, that’s all the major players. She didn’t change your memories or how you feel about those you know. She did something else. I can’t put a hoof on it. Should I keep digging?
Nah. I’m going to need you watching my back again. Harmony is still out there, and we need to take it and its host out once and for all.
“Joy?”
“Yes, Blazing Light?” she smiles. For the first time, it’s not a crazy one.
“I’d like to know you better, but first I need to stop the assholes who would want to ruin our date.”
She giggles.
“I will be waiting. If you need help, just call for me. Have as much rest as you need, I’ll slow time down while you’re here,” she nuzzles my neck, “I have things to do… my own baggage to deal with. Just remember to always return to me…” she fades into nothing, leaving only her voice, ”With or without Cromach.”
Did she really just say that? Did it… work out?
How do you want to stop Harmony? Is Joy’s assistance going to be enough?
I’m not dragging her into this unless she explicitly asks me to. No, I thought my own power was enough to block the god’s power to a sufficient degree. It was close, but I need more.
Nicolai’s sword was good, but I need a proper weapon. Weapons.
Blades of Balance again?
I need to find them and then we finally end this.
The Godslayer, take two.