//------------------------------// // Chapter 10 - Day 8 pt. 1 // Story: Speak From the Heart // by Halp //------------------------------// A ticklish, twitching sensation on your legs roused you from your unusually light rest, and you glanced at the clock in the near-pitch black living room. It was barely past three in the morning. You must have passed out while brushing Fluttershy, who was rolled over on her back and pressed into your stomach. You heard her mumble in her sleep, and her wings shifted underneath her seemingly in response. Without thinking, you ran your hand along her belly and up to her neck and back, earning a pleased sigh as her body moved to follow it. You would have never considered being in a position like this with Fluttershy—or anyone else, for that matter—when you first arrived, but by some strange series of events, there you were. What had started out as the relationship one would imagine someone and a newly adopted pet would have ended up escalating to a level beyond your expectations, mainly due to lack of proper communication and understanding. The few moments of touching and petting, you thought, were just Fluttershy’s way of consoling you and building trust between the two of you, but it was just like Rainbow Dash had pointed out- Fluttershy had grown considerably closer to you than anyone, maybe even she herself, had anticipated. You stopped moving your hand and ignored Fluttershy’s sleepy, disappointed whine. What about Rainbow Dash? You had met with her all of, what, two times? You were worried that your misplaced affections for Fluttershy had spurred on your stranger interactions with Rainbow Dash, but after some thought realized that most of them originated from her own thoughts and feelings. It was bizarre to imagine that, in the span of a week, you had become subject to the infatuations of not one, but two ponies, despite being a human, a creature from an entirely different realm. Remembering your first trip into Ponyville and your meeting with Lyra, you seriously wondered if the two pegasi were the only ones. Why was it, then, that you­ felt equally drawn to them? Perhaps you were deprived of affection just enough to be willing to accept any you could receive? If that were true, you imagined, Fluttershy’s attention would certainly be more than enough; you weren’t some predator looking to lead on as many potential suitors as possible. “Keep going… please,” Fluttershy grumbled sleepily, pawing at your hand and nudging it back and forth. You obliged, chuckling quietly as she stretched out her limbs to give you access to her whole underside. Feeling her soft, fuzzy coat beneath your fingers made you consider that perhaps your reciprocation to both pegasi wasn’t out of depravity. Your intentions from the start were purely ambivalent, and still were to some extent. Unlike Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash was much more direct about her interest in you, despite the roundabout way she pursued it. You knew your caretaker to be rather subtle instead, unless she assumed she was dreaming, of course. You sighed and focused your attention around a small puff of fur on Fluttershy’s chest, massaging the area and the muscles where her forelegs met her body. You ultimately conceded that the details weren’t important. You didn’t recall any past experiences with crushes or infatuation, but you knew enough by heart to understand that there was still plenty to learn about Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and any others you would eventually meet while you were in Equestria. What bothered you then was how much time you would actually have to spend with them. Would the meeting with Celestia Twilight had mentioned be about sending you back to Earth? What about your memories? Twilight’s announcement had apparently come only when she felt it was necessary, in order to avoid overlapping with your first lesson from Rarity. She hadn’t mentioned it prior, nor did she talk about it again after you both had left the boutique. Twilight didn’t seem the type to forget about much, and given how frequently she seemed to communicate with the princesses, it was unlikely that it was just spur of the moment. No, you felt like she had purposefully avoided the topic until it was vital that you knew. Quite frankly, you had grown unnaturally accustomed to being left in the dark by Twilight so far. You recalled her request to keep wearing the choker without any tangible reason as to why she wanted you to except that she wanted to show something to the princesses. She originally wanted to use it to make sure you wouldn’t hurt Fluttershy, and when Celestia saw that you meant no harm towards your caretaker, you were allowed to move about the town. You had agreed with Twilight in the hopes that you might further your goal of attaining your own freedom, but hopefully you would get some clearer answers from her and Celestia directly, when the time came. The feeling of pins and needles from your legs falling asleep snatched away your focus. You hated to disturb Fluttershy, but you needed relief soon or you would never get back to sleep. You reached underneath her to lift her up, causing her to jump at the sensation of your cold hands. “What are you doing, Anon?” she complained with a whisper. “Put me down, I was just getting comfy.” You paused with the mare still held aloft in your hands. Your original plan was to bring her back upstairs to her own bed, but the feeling of cooler air washing over your legs dissuaded you. Instead, you swung your numb legs onto the couch one by one, and laid her wings-down on your abdomen. Satisfied with your decision, Fluttershy wiggled back and forth and sighed contentedly. You were warm, she was comfortable, and you could feel the blood-flow in your legs returning- a win-win situation, for sure. You laid your head back on the armrest, and focused solely on her warmth as you fell into a much deeper sleep. When you awoke again, Fluttershy had already gotten up. Bread and chamomile flower heads sat on a small plate on the table next to the couch, as well as a pencil that didn’t seem to belong there. You stuffed one of the buds into your mouth and picked up the pencil before starting your search for Fluttershy, who you easily found at the kitchen table, busy poring over a thin book. She didn’t notice you quietly stepping into the dining room and peering curiously over her shoulder, and hummed while flipping a few pages. On closer inspection, it looked like a book meant to help teach children… … how to write. Across its pages were thin, widely-spaced horizontal lines, with dashed letters intended to be traced, along with extra space so the student could practice on their own. You looked down at the pencil in your hands, and felt a rush of emotion take hold of your body. The pencil clacked against the ground after you dropped it to wrap Fluttershy in a tight hug. The sudden touch startled her momentarily, but she leaned her head against yours as you squeezed tighter. “Good morning, Anon. I thought you might be interested in this book,” she cooed. “I found it earlier this morning in a chest of things I had when I was a little filly. To be honest, I don’t know how I didn’t think to look for it sooner, but after last night, I was inspired to see if I still had one.” Her words barely registered in your mind, and it took some gentle prodding from Fluttershy to get you to let go. “Take a deep breath, Anon. I know you’re excited, but we should take this slow and steady, alright?” You disregarded Fluttershy’s unintentional double entendre, dashing back into the living room to retrieve your breakfast before promptly sitting in the chair next to her. She cleared her throat and turned a few pages in the book until she reached one that was untouched. “I know this might seem pretty childish to do, but it’s worth trying, right?” she said with a hopeful smile. You nodded enthusiastically. “Okay. So, first, I’d like you to try tracing out this big M and little m. You can draw well, so I think this should be a good start.” You gripped the pencil in your hand and pressed it to the dashed lines, tracing the uppercase M and lowercase m flawlessly. Piece of cake. You felt pretty silly for being so confident, but you figured setting the bar low was a good way to keep your motivation high. “Now, go ahead and try copying the letters on the lines next to the first,” Fluttershy instructed. To your surprise, you had to expend some mental effort to copy the first uppercase M, looking back and forth between it and your original for reference. Even though your traced version was directly beside it, remembering what M looked like was actually difficult, and each M you drew after wasn’t any easier. “Good! Let’s see, cover up that whole line with your other hand, and try drawing a big M without looking back.” You did as she asked, and that familiar feeling of dread washed over you the moment you brought your pencil to the blank lines on the paper. As usual, the image of the letter M wouldn’t come to mind, despite the fact that you just knew what it was supposed to look like. It felt like your short-term memory was being overwritten, or that those brief moments of writing never happened. You hastily scribbled something with straight lines, to no avail. “If you can’t think of the letter itself, try thinking of what it would look like if it were a drawing,” Fluttershy suggested. “Think of a big M as two tiny mountains, sitting next to each other. Just four lines, coming together at the top.” You felt a sharp pain in your head, but you forced yourself to try and draw exactly what she described. You drew one peak, and finally a second, forming a recognizable M, albeit a wide one. “Good job!” Fluttershy applauded you, beaming. “Do you want to try another?” Her expression fell when she noticed you gripping your head. “Oh, maybe not. I’m glad that you were able to do it, but I don’t want you to hurt yourself for my sake. These things take time, and you’ve got plenty of it to spare, right?” You shook your head vehemently and turned the page. While the possibilities writing had for your relationship with Fluttershy and her friends were great, you pressed on for your own needs. You knew communication depended on mutually conveying information, and when it came down to it, you needed some form of communication that wasn’t as limiting as art and acting. You grit your teeth and traced over the dashed Ns and repeated the process. Again, the tracing and copying were simple, but you struggled to get a smooth-looking letter written from memory alone. Fluttershy watched you endure the exercise for the better part of an hour, only stopping you on occasion to make sure you ate your breakfast and had something to drink. Your headache only continued to worsen, but your determination made ignoring the pain bearable. “Anon, stop!” Twilight’s muffled voice shouted. Just when you thought you were starting to make headway, writing down your forty-third letter without reference, you heard Twilight’s sudden outcry. Before you could turn around, your limbs went completely limp and you saw the room tilt to the side and rush up to meet you. Several disconcerting seconds passed as you realized that you had, in fact, collapsed onto the floor, rather than the other way around. Your headache was dissipating, but your vision and hearing were becoming hazy as well. Panic started to set in as two voices started shouting behind you, but you were unable to move. You stared ahead helplessly as you were lifted into the air and carried into the living room, where Twilight and Fluttershy’s blurry silhouettes were waiting for you. Twilight’s magic wrapped over your head, and after a brief period you slowly regained your vision and hearing. Fluttershy stood beside her, tapping her front hooves against the ground anxiously. Twilight fired a small bolt of magic at your neck, and only the feeling in your head and neck returned. “Thank goodness, I got here in time. What happened, Fluttershy?” Twilight asked, walking over to inspect you. “What do you mean? Nothing was happening until you came in and did… that to Anon!” Fluttershy asserted. “He was just practicing with a writing book I found for him.” “A writing book?” “Yes, one I had saved from my time in school. We had a… situation last night, and I thought it would be a good idea for him to be able to speak his mind.” Twilight stopped to think for a few seconds, and looked into your eyes as a doctor would when searching for a check-up. “Is this true, Anon? You were just trying to write?” she inquired. You gave her a short nod and tilted your head towards the kitchen a few times. Twilight followed your gesture and brought the book back out to the living room. “How long was he doing this?” “About an hour, I think?” Fluttershy answered. “But wait, Twilight, you still haven’t answered my question! What happened to Anon that made you do this?” “I incapacitated Anon because I thought he was going to die, Fluttershy,” Twilight admitted with a serious tone, making you gasp. “D-die?” Fluttershy’s eyes widened, and if she could turn pale, you imagined she probably would have. “With the gemstone in that choker I gave Anon, I can be notified if he’s in danger. I had left my linked gemstone alone for a short while, and when I came back to check on it, it showed that he was still here but in immense, self-inflicted pain.” Twilight turned to you and used her magic on the choker again, releasing you from your invisible binds. “I assumed the worst, and came as soon as I could, but I’m glad it wasn’t anything obviously life-threatening.” “I had no idea that it was that bad for you, Anon,” Fluttershy remarked. “I told you that you didn’t need to push yourself, you’ve got time.” You exchanged glances with Twilight, knowing that she was the only one who knew if that was actually true or not. She scrunched up her face and looked towards the floor, thinking hard. “I thought I could wait until Sunday, but…” she grumbled to herself. “What’s happening Sunday?” Fluttershy asked curiously. “Did Anon not tell you? I’ll be taking him to meet with the princesses that day for a private meeting. I have a lot to report to them, especially to Celestia,” Twilight explained. “I had a special permission I needed to ask about, but since I’m here I may as well ask you now. Anon-” You perked up as Twilight addressed you directly. “Would you give me your consent to conduct research on you? In person?” You waited to exhale your held breath, and gestured with your hands for her to elaborate. “Remember what I said to you a few days ago, about how we know almost nothing about the effects being in Equestria has on humans? I want to pursue that directly, and take some preliminary measurements- nothing invasive, I promise. That information would be essential in helping find a way for you to communicate with us better without having to hurt yourself in the process.” As tempting as Twilight’s offer was, you were still apprehensive about her intent. Questioning the motives of small, cute ponies seemed to have become your newest hobby, as of late. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Fluttershy interjected. “I don’t want this to happen again, if I can avoid it.” Despite the fact that you hadn’t actually agreed yet, she sounded determined. “Well, you’re the one Anon’s most familiar with, so he’d probably be much more comfortable having you around than if he was alone with me.” “I’d be more than happy to. It’s the least I can do.” You noticed Fluttershy’s eyes glisten while she spoke, and she smiled at you reassuringly. What doubt you had in your mind about Twilight’s research evaporated, and you stood up to give Twilight a confident nod. The three of you walked across Ponyville to Twilight’s ‘Castle of Friendship,” a giant, crystalline tree that you hadn’t even imagined could exist. You hadn’t noticed it when you were with Rainbow Dash, which was pretty surprising, given how dramatically it stood out from the surrounding hills and straw-covered abodes. Twilight led you and Fluttershy through its gleaming halls to an enormous library, which was completely empty aside from Spike, who was busy re-shelving books atop a tall ladder. “Hey, you’re back! What took you so long?” he remarked, sliding down the ladder and jogging over to meet you. “You know, I was just thinking about that, too,” Fluttershy added, making sure to stay beside you as all of you took a seat at one of the round library tables. “If you teleported yourself straight to my living room from here, why didn’t you teleport all three of us back?” “I didn’t want to risk hurting Anon by teleporting him again,” replied Twilight. Her horn glowed, and several scrolls, an inkwell, and four feather pens all materialized out of thin air and settled onto the desk neatly. “I’ve already been concerned about how Discord’s artifact might have affected him, and I use my magic sparingly on him in the case that it might, as well. His choker is the only thing I know is safe to use.” You nodded and politely signed your thanks to her. “I get it. So, then, what about your research?” “What I’m going to do is ask Anon to answer a few ‘yes or no’ questions, and see if he can solve some simple word puzzles.” Twilight looked towards the shelves behind you, and you heard the sound of books shifting as she levitated several onto the table and opened one. You waited patiently as she instructed Fluttershy and Spike to help her copy the some of the open book’s contents, observing the splendor of the library and its decor. The decorations, much like those you had seen in the hallways, were tree-themed. You weren’t sure if they were in reference to the tree-like castle itself, or to something else; you would have to remind yourself to ask Twilight about it when you got the chance. “Can he do mine first, Twilight?” Spike piped up. “Certainly. You do have the easiest one, it would be a good start,” Twilight replied, prompting Spike to slide his sheet and the remaining pen to you. “The goal of this one is simple, Anon. I just want you to identify the words that contain the letters A or B. You can just circle the words you think are correct.” You looked down at the sheet, which listed twenty random words. You circled five: bread, plate, grass, farm, and hair. Given that you already knew how to read, it was an effortless test, but you went along with it anyway. The book Twilight had open was one intended for Equestrian psychiatrists. While Twilight scanned over your sheet for a moment, you noticed that it was open to a chapter regarding gauging a pony’s ability to understand written language. You were unsurprised to see that the word English wasn’t present, but instead replaced with ‘Equuish.’ Close enough. “Nicely done. I’d assumed you could read, given that you can understand what we’re saying,” Twilight pointed out. “How’s your sheet coming along, Fluttershy?” You looked over to the pegasus, who was methodically pressing and lifting the pen to the paper with her mouth. She had made almost half the progress Spike had, but with admirable penmanship for someone lacking hands or claws. She gently spat out the feather and smiled proudly. “I’m not exactly that fast, but I’ll be finished in just a little bit,” Fluttershy murmured before picking the pen back up to finish her work. “That’s alright. I’m sure Anon won’t mind short breaks while we write, we’ll be doing quite a few more so that we have a good measure on his ability to recognize words.” “How many more are we gonna write, Twilight?” Spike asked, sliding another sheet to himself to copy. “Mmm, by the looks of these tests, probably another forty or fifty,” Twilight responded nonchalantly. “Seriously!?” the little dragon moaned. Many, many, many lists of circled words later, Twilight had a small stack of paper full of her observations of you- how long you took to identify words and parts of speech, your ability to recognize literary devices like rhyme, consonance, and the like, and much more. Her research had proved to be undeniably thorough, much to the dismay of Spike and Fluttershy who developed minor cramps from the writing. You weren’t bothered by it so much as you were bored, but they had definitely put in their share of effort to help. You actually felt pretty bad for them, getting dragged into such tedious work for what seemed like little gain. After all,  the purpose of bringing you to the castle was to help you solve your writing problem, wasn’t it? You recalled some of the words on your completed tests as Twilight neatly sorted them into a stack, and were struck with an idea. Maybe you couldn’t write to talk to them, but if somebody else did it for you, it would work equally well. Inspired and determined to test your idea, you waved frantically to get her attention. “Yes, Anon? What is it?” You pointed at the stack of tests, then to the workspace in front of you. She glanced at the stack and back to you as she slid them across the table. “Did you want to see these again?” You ruffled through the sheets, and folded one around the word ‘need.’ You did the same for another that contained the word ‘paper,’ and laid the two words together in front of her. You had considered simply tearing the words out of the scrolls, but wanted to ensure that she had no intention of using them again. “You need more paper? What for?” Twilight asked with a bemused look. You waved your hands and pointed at her, then to the words, and finally to the sheets before you, raising an eyebrow for good measure. She concentrated for a second, and gasped in realization. “Do I need those papers? If that’s what you’re asking, no, I didn’t need them. You’re welcome to do what you’d like with them.” You signaled your thanks to Twilight, and made her jump as you tore a strip out of one of the sheets. You held it up with both hands so that everyone at the table could see. “‘Thanks’?” they all chimed at once. You watched their faces brighten as they looked at one another and back to you in understanding. “Why didn’t I think of this sooner?” Fluttershy bubbled, putting a hoof on her forehead with a smile. “Until we figure out how to help you write your own words, you can just use one's we write, like flash cards!” “That’s a great idea!” Spike cheered, before stopping to scratch his chin in thought. “But how many will he need? There’s a whole lot of words that we don’t have written down here,” he added, unfolding one of the papers you had shown to Twilight. “That’s a good point, Spike,” Twilight agreed. “Since Anon can draw well, he probably won’t need simple, everyday things that he can see and show. Abstract concepts would be best, as well as names. I imagine you’d get pretty tired of trying to memorize everypony’s cutie marks- even ponies themselves don’t memorize the cutie marks of every pony they know to exact detail.” You spent the next half hour with Twilight and a massive dictionary on the opposite side of the room, copying down terms and concepts onto paper cards while Fluttershy and Spike rested their sore muscles on a nearby couch. Words that you struggled to draw out like ‘time,’ ‘weather,’ ‘help,’ and ‘work’ were among the first you had written down and cut out. By the time you were both finished, you had produced a thick stack of nearly five-hundred different cards, sorted by relevant subjects and then alphabetical order, which Twilight presented to you after putting them inside a lavender-colored fabric pouch. You fed the long, narrow cords from the back of the pouch through the belt loops on your jeans and tugged tight as you knotted them together on the opposite side. “I made sure to put some dividers between each of the subjects so you can refer to them easily. It’s up to you to make sure you keep them in order,” Twilight explained with satisfaction. Quite frankly, you were certain you would eventually get them out of order, but promised yourself to do your best. You rummaged through the pouch for a moment, before promptly displaying a few cards to her. It felt awkward and strange compared to just drawing your thoughts, but you still felt confident after seeing her initial reaction to your idea. [I’ll try.] “Good. I think that should wrap up things for today- wait, wait, hold on. Just a second.” You watched Twilight curiously as she levitated the cards out of the pouch and focused, the glow around them intensifying for a brief moment before floating back to their home. “I put a simple water-proofing spell on them, in case you get caught in the rain. Don’t want to do this all over again, right?” You nodded in reply, and patted the pouch affectionately. “Didn’t you have more research that you wanted to get done today, Twilight?” Fluttershy asked, getting up from the couch to inspect the pouch on your hip. “I had plenty more in mind at first, but I’m still not sure…” The lavender mare looked distant as her voice trailed off. “What’s the matter?” “Well, technically speaking, I’ve been asked by the princesses to only observe Anon, not to actively study him,” Twilight worried. “It’s not like I’m going to get in trouble, but I don’t exactly know if they’d approve of my help.” “You make it sound like they didn’t want you to help Anon,” Fluttershy argued, blinking a couple times. “That’s not true... is it?” “No, no, it’s not, but Celestia was very clear that she wanted to see what he’d do on his own, under watch of the Elements.” Seeing your opportunity to chime in, you dug into your word pouch and set a few cards onto the table in front of the dictionary. [I appreciate your help anyway, Twilight.] It took several seconds for you to thumb through the different sections and find the correct words--and even longer to get the thin, fragile sheets out without tearing them--but you were satisfied with the newfound flexibility they offered. “I’m happy to hear-er, see it, Anon,” Twilight beamed with a bashful smile. You waved her concerns off- you understood what she meant, no harm done. “Well, I think that Anon’s much better off with you stepping in than not. I’m sure we’ll have fewer misunderstandings like before now, right Anon?” Fluttershy moved to your side happily, almost brushing against your leg like a cat. You gave her an affirmative nod and set your hand on her head. Suddenly, Twilight perked up, as if struck by an idea. She turned towards the closed dictionary you had both used earlier, and levitated it towards you. “You know, just in case that comes up, it might be a good idea to have this around.” “Wait a second, Twilight, isn’t that one of your oldest, most favorite dictionaries?” Spike pointed out from his seat on the couch. “You must really like Anon to give him that.” “N-no, it’s not that!” Twilight blurted out, only to realize how loud she had just been. She cleared her throat and took a breath before turning back towards you. “I mean, it is one I’ve had since I started learning from Princess Celestia, and it holds fond memories, b-but that’s irrelevant right now!” Twilight glanced away from you as she spoke, seemingly rattled about Spike’s comment. You hadn’t seen Twilight flustered before, nor did you expect it to be so abrupt. “There are terms in this dictionary that you probably aren’t familiar with, so if you need to you can use it for reference and studying on your own,” she addressed, finally looking you in the eyes with a subtle blush. “It’s a gift, though, right?” Spike teased. “I’m just letting him use it for now, Spike.” You couldn’t help but laugh as you graciously plucked the book out of the air, and signed your gratitude to Twilight once more. The temptation to put your hand on Twilight’s head, as with Fluttershy, was hard to shake. It was your go-to gesture of appreciation and affection, but you restrained yourself out of fear you would embarrass her further. Not that you knew why she was embarrassed in the first place, anyway. You held the tome firmly under your arm and got Fluttershy’s attention before reaching into your pouch for a card. [Home] “I think heading home is a lovely idea. It’s about time for lunch, anyway,” Fluttershy acknowledged with a sagely nod. You and Fluttershy repeated your thanks to Twilight and Spike, and you followed the pegasus out of the castle into the warm afternoon air. You rubbed the pouch at your side happily as you walked, inwardly excited at the potential for conversation with Fluttershy. You would definitely get down to the bottom of the featureless pony vs. bathroom enigma, that’s for sure. You looked down to a very thoughtful Fluttershy, however, and started to reconsider; she was a regular animal caretaker, so the subject wouldn’t be that awkward, right? “So, Anon,” she began, meeting your gaze after a few moments of silence. “Now that you’ve got those cards, I’ll bet there are a lot of questions you’ve been wanting to ask that you couldn’t before. When we get back home, I’d be more than happy to answer them!” You chuckled weakly and wiped a few non-existent drops of sweat off of your brow, returning your attention to the path ahead. “What’s that look for? Did I say something funny?”