dC/dt ≠ 0

by I Thought I Was Toast


Awakening (Morpheus) Part 4

There’s not much left to say, really. When we met with Celestia, she basically ordered us all to go back to the hospital and rest. She was the one who handled most of the relief effort, and she all but refused to let us help after all we’d been through.

The walk to city hall was relatively quiet. The girls and I didn’t say much as Twilight led us through the streets – preferring to offer silent support as Twilight took in the wreckage. Carts were overturned, street lamps were tipped over and even the fire hydrants hadn’t been spared – many dented or outright uprooted from a stray buck. We even happened upon one such hydrant to find not only water spraying into the air, but sewage from a nearby ruptured pipe.

Twilight took the time to plug it, conjuring a giant cork to stick into the hole. She and the other girls wrinkled their noses at the sight and smell, but we were in too much of a hurry to properly clean the street right then and there. Instead, ve suggested simply cordoning the area off, and Twilight did so with a wave of her horn.

The magical warning signs she left flashed on and off with her magenta magic – large red letters spelling out the word caution blocking the path of anypony stupid enough to think of entering the sludgy muk.

Unfortunately, that left us taking a detour through some rather dark and shady alleys. There were cracks in the floor and walls that vaguely looked like horseshoes. A few dry splashes of red and green marked the rougher spots in the walls, and black fragments of chitin lay on the ground.

“Not cool….” Rainbow shook her head as she looked at a dark, emerald stain. “This is just so—” she slammed a hoof into the wall, “—so wrong! I really wanna punch the stupid out of somepony right now.”

“Easy there, Rainbow,” Applejack soothed, gently pulling the fuming pegasus away. “Manehatten’s already had a rough enough time of it today without you adding to the mess.”

“Save it for Antiquity,” I muttered darkly. “A concussion with a side of brain damage may be just what she needs.”

“Morpheus!” Twilight hissed – a mix of spicy rainbows and lemonade warring for domination over her emotions.

Lemonade rain and cotton candy clouds that rumbled with thunder and lightning engulfed me in a fuzzy, pink hug. “That’s not very funny….” Pinkie’s legs jerked slightly as she held me. “In fact, you just made my frogs hop so badly I almost couldn’t reach you for your hug.”

“After what she did today, Twilight, she deserves it,” I rumbled with a deep, echoing thrum. “No, she deserves more than that.”

Fluttershy whimpered and the taste of sour milk filled the air. Pinkie squeezed me harder, and the taste of lemonade became more and more sour with each passing second.

Twilight turned back to me with a frown. Her own concern was far drier now – much more palatable than Pinkie’s but still uncomfortably strong, and I squirmed slightly at the sensation.

“Do you actually believe that?” She walked up to me. “After everything your mother did to Canterlot, you let her off with mere exile. You’ve told me stories of former coup attempts from within your own house and how you kept them bloodless. Even when House Flynn tried to—” she licked her lips, “—tried to assassinate me, you didn’t make the heads of the house suffer.”

“Antiquity is a monster in changeling chitin.” I hissed, plates clicking and clacking as muscles tensed behind them. “She has no right to call herself changeling after some of the things she’s done. Ve’re not even sure she’s sane at this point!

“By the Azure Veil, she entered her second Chrysaling when she fed her mother a cyanide dusted apple at the age of five.” I cackled, a few tears sliding down my face. “She was all but born to be a lord of the worst kind, and it would have been better for everypony and everyling if she had died long ago.”

I hiccuped, slumping to the ground and crushing several of the fragments of chitin littered about. Everypony else was watching on in silence, and I was all but drowning in lemonade – even from Fluttershy. Her initial burst of fear from my outburst had passed, and she was sending her concern forth in soothing waves.

“You didn’t answer my question, silly changeling.” Twilight just gave a little smile. Her emotions had shifted to something warmer; it was like hot tea with a shot of whiskey and lemon juice. I sipped at it and it burned my heart with a harsh, dry, smokey flavor on the way down – so much so that I was barely able to notice the lemons.

Then, the aftertaste hit.

The tea – pure, sweet, and flavored with well steeped orange blossoms – lingered for far longer. A single drop of honey flavored it, and – while it wasn’t enough to truly mean anything – the thought of what it could mean someday spread a heady warmth through my body.

“No… I’d rather noling have to suffer….” I sighed and savored another sip of the tea, letting it heat my heart.

“What happened between you two?” Twilight nudged me with her snout. “Antiquity hinted that you had a history.”

“I wouldn’t call it that,” I groaned. “I was still fresh from my second Chrysaling when she attempted and failed to overthrow Mother. I didn’t know who she was or what she was or why Mother was so dead set on executing her.” I looked at the ground. “All I saw was a chance to set an example – to show the power of second chances.”

I snorted, grinding a hoof into the ground. “Backfired spectacularly, didn’t it?”

“Sometimes it takes more than a second chance,” Twilight sighed. “And sometimes ponies don’t want a chance at redemption. Getting angry won’t help anymore than panicking did..”

“Ve know….” I finally felt Pinkie ease off me, and I turned to give her a brief hug in thanks. “It’s just we’ve come so far….”

“A few setbacks won’t stop us.” Twilight smiled, holding a hoof out to me. “They never have before, right girls?”

There was a chorus of affirmation from the others and a shaky cloud of sugary cheer at her words. I took the offered hoof with a grin of my own, pulling Twilight to me for a nuzzle in thanks.

“Yeah, nothing ever stops you, does it?”

“Twilight, what are you doing up?!” Celestia was in the middle of talking to the mayor, but she hurried over as soon as she saw us. “The mayor told me you were in the hospital!

“What even happened to you? Everypony I ask has a different story.” Tossing all protocol and decorum aside, the solar princess swept Twilight up in her wings. The other girls spread out to give them some space, but ve expected I’d be needed soon enough.

“Well, I came to Manehatten as you asked and met the changeling causing the upset.” Twilight pulled back from the hug to look back at me for a moment, shuffling awkwardly from hoof to hoof. “Her name was Lady Antiquity Antipathy, and—”

“Ah, yes, her…” Celestia’s smile became inscrutable. “I had been wondering when she’d try something after seeing some of Morpheus’ reports. You didn’t drink the tea, did you?”

“I was trying to be polite!” Twilight squeaked. “Besides, none of my spells revealed any sort of poison!”

“Twilight, I taught you those spells in case you ever needed to check wildlife for poisons.” Celestia tutted, beginning to look Twilight over. “Any dedicated assassin would know dozens of ways to circumvent them. Faust knows I can think of at least twenty I’ve had to deal with off the top of my head.”

Her horn lit up as she poked and prodded Twilight. “Why, there was this one noble who tried to feed me a thirty piece poison across three ten-course meals; he insisted I eat every last bite of my alfalfa sprouts for a good half an—”

“Ow!” Twilight flinched as Celestia’s horn flashed a little brighter.

“—hour.” The solar diarch pulled back to look down on Twilight with a smile. “There, all done.”

“What did you do?” Twilight tentatively looked herself over.

Celestia calmly looked out at the throng of onlooking ponies before she lit her horn to silence the din. “This will have to do.”

She turned back to Twilight. “I… can’t tell you here. It’s a spell we cannot allow other ponies to know the inner workings of. Even with a silence bubble, ponies can read lips. I’ve put up a minor illusion to dissuade that as well, but any spy worth their salt will expect that – and we are dealing with changelings.”

“Suffice it to say that it’s a spell that may help you if you ever find yourself in such a life or death situation again. I’ll send you notes on it via Spike, but make sure you eliminate any and all trace of them. Don’t just burn them; banish the ashes across the four corners of Equis.”

“Well, color me curious, Princess.” I arched a brow.

“No, Morpheus, you may not see them.” Celestia turned the full power of her regal mask on me. “You know more than anypony else that some knowledge should remain hidden, and I am trusting you to respect that here.”

“It would be much easier to respect if you had put me outside the silence bubble.” I snorted. “Why include me at all?”

For a moment, the facade broke and Princess Celestia gave me a sincere smile. “Simple. If you are to be Twilight’s special somepony, you deserve at least some of the truth.”

I blinked both haws at that.

“Regardless—” the silence dropped, “—I do believe there is more to your story, Twilight. From what I’ve gathered, you managed to survive your encounter with Lady Antiquity.”

Twilight opened her mouth to say something, closed it, then grimaced. “Yes… I’ll give you a more detailed report on my conversation with Antiquity later – when I’ve had time to think on it. But, if I had to summarize, Antiquity gave me a choice: save a friend or save the city.”

She looked to me momentarily, the taste of rubber and wine filling the air before her gaze fell to the ground. It disappeared as quickly as it came, but it was no less disconcerting.

“She and another lord – General Carapace – had concluded that something had happened to Mo to incapacitate him. They weren’t sure what, but they were determined to capitalize on the situation. This— This was all just a distraction from an assassination force sent to Ponyville!”

A hushed murmur spread through the  city hall square like wild fire at Twilight’s words, and a heated muttering followed.

“A distraction?” Celestia’s face was inscrutable once more.

“Yes!” Twilight bowed, wings twitching. “A distraction! A test! Whatever you want to call it. Lady Antiquity wanted to watch what I’d do – see whom I’d choose – and I couldn’t even follow through!”

The emotional dam broke as a sob wracked Twilight’s throat, and a flurry of negative emotions swirled around me, gnawing away at my heart.

“Oh, Twilight….” The silence spell descended again as Celestia bent down to pull Twilight to her haunches and briefly hug her. “I’m sorry you were placed in such an impossible position. Hold on, this isn’t the place for this anymore.”

With a flash of golden light, we were teleported to a very regal looking suite. Celestia gave Twilight another hug and gave me a very pointed look from over her shoulder.

Message received.

I moved up to Twilight, sitting myself beside her with a nuzzle as Celestia pulled away. Twilight lifted a wing to try and hug me, but it barely wrapped around my back, let alone my barrel. With a brief burst of emerald flames, I solved that, snuggling up to her as Wicked Smooth.

Twilight sniffled, determined to continue. “I-I wasn’t even sure I had enough mana to teleport to Ponyville, let alone save Mo and come back, so I chose to try and help Manehatten.”

She shook her head dejectedly. “In the end, I couldn’t even do that right. A part of the mob had lit one of the buildings on fire, and I charged in when I should have gone to get more help. I ignored all of your lessons on magic and burned through dangerous amounts of mana just to save a few ponies. If I hadn’t all of done that, and had just focused on coordinating the relief efforts, I might have been able to save more ponies.

“I— I’m so sorry, Celestia. You trusted me with this, and I did nothing but fail you. I failed everypony….”

Celestia opened her mouth to say something, but closed it at the look I was giving her. I didn’t dare wave a hoof or gesture – it might disturb Twilight – so I simply looked to the solar diarch with such intensity that she backed down. Ve had a feeling it might land me in trouble later, but it was necessary that I be the one to fix this.

It was my fault Twilight was crying. Ve were sure of it. Twilight had been forced to put up a strong face both when I’d panicked and when I’d gotten angry. It was stupid of me not to think she might have had the same kinds of thoughts – that she wouldn’t try to hide them from me for my sake.

After all, she wouldn’t want me to worry.

“Twilight.” I laid my head over her withers much like she had spread her wing across my back. “Please… listen to me, Twilight. You are anything but a failure for what you did today. The deck was stacked against you in so many ways, yet you still managed to make the best of everything. Ve know for a fact that hundreds— no, thousands of ponies were saved because of how you inspired others to do the right thing.”

Twilight looked down at me. “But—”

I shushed her with a gentle kiss. “No buts. If I’m not allowed to panic, neither are you. Antiquity and Carapace are the only ones to blame for today.”

“But—”

Another peck. “I’d tell you not to get angry, but that’s not a problem for you.”

“But—”

And again. “What did I say? No. Buts.”

“But—”

And yet again. Harder. “I can keep this up all night if you want.”

A pause. “Fine….”

I bared my fangs triumphantly, finally savoring the taste of orange blossoms. “Fine as in you’re done blaming yourself? Or fine as in you want me to continue?”

“Morpheus,” Twilight whined. “Not in front of Celestia!”

I waggled my brow. “Oh, but it’s okay to continue as soon as she’s gone?”

“Morpheus!” The whine became a squeak as Twilight blushed deeply, looking to her mentor who was watching with an impish grin.

“I can always leave if you want, Twilight.” By the First Father, Celestia actually winked. I wasn’t sure if it was at me or Twilight.

“What?! No!” Twilight’s voice managed to climb another octave.

“You’d rather I stay?” Celestia couldn’t contain her mirth as she chuckled. “But the night would be far more educating for you if I go. Don’t you trust your teacher?”

“I— I— I—” Twilight had clearly broken.

“We jest, Twilight. We jest.” I leaned into her once more and settled my head in the crook of her neck. “Besides, we need to get back outside and help with the relief efforts.”

“Yes.” Twilight latched onto the lifeline. “Yes, we do.”

We need to get back outside?” The heat of Celestia’s gaze was sudden and intense. “I think you mean I need to get back outside. You two are to remain here and get some much needed rest.”

I blinked. “But—”

“No. Buts.” Celestia’s tone brooked no arguments. “I’m not sure what you’ve been through today, Morpheus, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was just as stressful as everything Twilight went through. You are both to stay here and keep each other company.”

“As you wish, Princess.” I bowed my head in resignation.

The solar diarch’s face softened before the corners of her mouth upturned in a small smile. “Thank you for understanding.”

Then, she winked again.

“Of course, I can’t stop you two if you decide to have an all night study session instead.” Her horn lit, and she was gone before I could even formulate a response.

Did— Did the princess just— No. Surely, it was just a joke. Where even were we?

I gently extracted myself from Twilight – who seemed to have broken once more – and trotted to the window. Given the altitude of our room and the view of Bridleway… ve were pretty sure Celestia had popped us over to her solar suite in The Nickerbocker Hotel.

“So, what do you want to do?” I asked, turning back to Twilight. “Chances are that ponies will be under royal orders not to let us help if we head back out.”

Twilight remained unresponsive as the gears in her head turned furiously. I could almost smell the smoke as I carefully approached her to lay a hoof on her withers.

“Twilight, it was just another joke.”

“Yes… yes, it was just a joke! Celestia is just so good at those!” Twilight gave a shaky laugh. “Where are we, anyways?”

“The solar suite at The Nickerbocker Hotel.” I shrugged.

Twilight went rigid. “Mo… That means there’s only one—.”

“And the floor can easily be luxurious enough to make it into the top ten beds I’ve slept in.” I smoothly interjected before either of us could get carried away with that thought. Technically, I could just spin a one night web, but ve had a feeling that somepony – be it the princess or hotel staff – wouldn’t appreciate that. “If sharing makes you uncomfortable, we don’t have to do it. Now what would you like to do?”

Twilight’s face scrunched. “Well… umm… the window probably has an excellent view. We could play Eye Spy.”

I frowned. “I’m not sure that’s the best idea what with the riots and all.”

“We could cook something, I guess?” Twilight tilted her head to the side. “I’m kind of hungry, and the suite includes a kitchen—”

“—with no food supplies whatsoever.” I finished, having checked the layout of the suite with my tremor sense. “You’d think they would at least have some complimentary tea, just in case, but no. How often does Celestia even use this room?”

“Not very often, I’d assume.” Twilight poked at the floor. “There are at least ten hotels in Manehatten with a friendship suite, and I’ve only stayed at five of them.”

“Does that include the friendship suite right down the hall?” I grinned.

“No?” Twilight looked uneasily around the room. “It was a bit too… presumptive for my tastes, so I always picked someplace else.”

“Excellent.” I rubbed my hooves together. “Come along, then! We’re switching rooms!”

“What? Why?” Twilight cantered after me as I trotted out of the room.

“Simple.” I cackled. “It’ll be excellent payback to Celestia for making us stay here. The last place she’ll ever look is just around the corner.”

“You are just so evil sometimes.” Twilight giggled. “It’s magnificent. Just don’t expect any mercy when Celestia finally figures it out.”

“I can deal with whatever she throws my way.” I waved a hoof. “Besides, it can’t be worse than refusing to let us help.”

“Yeah….” Twilight frowned as she held her horn to the door of the friendship suite.

The lock clicked open to reveal a series of sunset colored rooms. Reds, oranges, and yellows dominated the wallpaper, while finely polished oaken panels lined the walls.

“This is great!” I turned, taking the room main room in. “What was your problem with it?”

She pointed to another room, and I poked my head inside. I blinked to make sure I wasn’t seeing things, and then slowly pulled myself back to look at her.

“Why the buck is there only one bed?”

“I know, right!” Twilight threw up her hooves.

I arched my brow. “You are the Princess of Friendship. Friendship. Why on Equis do they not have beds for the other Elements?”

“They do,” Twilight grumbled. “The harmony suites are one floor down and they’re all connected to each other.”

“Wow, that is incredibly inconsiderate of them.” I looked back in the bedroom.

“Yes. Yes, it was.” Twilight snorted.

“Well, at least the floor in here seems as comfortable as the other suite.” I chuckled. “Any other ideas on what we could do?”

“Maybe it’d just be best if we got some sleep?” Twilight yawned. “As much as I hate to admit it, Celestia is probably right. We’ve both been through a lot today.”

“Oh…” I couldn’t help but slump. “If that’s what you want, then okay. I guess ve’ll just sit in the other room and think.”

There was the faint taste of wine from Twilight before a sudden surge in steely resolve.

“Or we could… you know… cuddle....”

I looked up as she squeaked the last word. “What?”

The steel faltered momentarily. “You know… cuddle? There’s more to being in a relationship than kissing.”

“Yeah, ve know…. I just—” I bit my lips. “I thought you were uncomfortable sharing a bed.”

“Well, that’s why we do it on the couch.” Twilight giggled. “It’s not like we haven’t done it before. We basically did it all the time when we went on our fake dates. It’ll just be real coltfriend and fillyfriend cuddling rather than secretly platonic friendship cuddling.”

She trotted over to the couch and plopped down, looking at me a smile. “Come on!”

I yelped as she grabbed me in her telekinesis and dragged me over, but I took the hint and quickly sat down when released. I squirmed slightly next to her, but nevertheless I leaned in as she lifted her wing for me.

“Is something wrong?” The taste of lemonade poured through the air as Twilight looked at me.

“I… don’t really know what to do.” My ears splayed back at the admission.

“What do you mean by that?” Twilight tilted her head, “You sure seemed like you knew what you were doing when Celestia was here earlier.”

I sighed, hesitantly leaning into Twilight a bit more. “Ve have lifetimes of experience on how to exude confidence, seem sensitive, and seduce both mares and stallions. Mother made sure I had lessons to both walk the walk and talk the talk. I know how to act the part of coltfriend, Twilight, but that’s very different from being a coltfriend.”

“But the kissing?” She pressed.

“Basically instinct,” I muttered, squirming again. “We feed on love. What do you expect?”

“And those instincts don’t cover cuddling?” She arched her brow at me.

“Cuddling isn’t very passionate.” I shook my head. “It’s close. It’s intimate. It’s almost a fundamental part of being in love, but it’s not conducive to a quick meal.”

“I’m not just food, you know.”

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. That wasn’t what I meant at all.

“Of course you aren’t!” I pecked her on the cheek, specifically avoiding the lips. “Please, don’t ever think that of me. I just— I don’t know what to do when we’re alone. I can still scarcely believe my feelings are real.”

Twilight sighed and pulled me a little closer. “You’re overthinking it then, Mo. Trust me, I did the same with Flash. You already know what to do. The act and reality are one and the same. That’s why the act works in the first place. Can you honestly tell me there was no sincerity to how you behaved earlier today around my friends or Celestia?”

I looked back on everything. “No… I can’t.”

“An act always works best when it’s real.” Twilight rested her head atop mine. “You told me that was one of the most important rules of a changeling disguise. Just keep on doing what you’ve been doing, and you’ll do fine.”

Just keep… doing what I’ve been doing?

I snuggled closer, tickling the underside of her muzzle with my ears. She giggled, tucking her wing more securely around me, and I responded by twining my tail with hers. Her foreleg crossed mine to grasp my hoof, while I wrapped both our tails around her, and we both leaned together to savor the moment.

“That’s it, Mo. That’s it,” Twilight murmured.

“This is just... wonderful,” I hummed in contentment.

“It sure is.” Twilight squeezed my hoof with hers.

Just keep doing what I’ve been doing, eh?

“Ve’re willing to bet it would be even better in the bedroom.”

There was a momentary absence of my feathery blanket as Twilight thwapped me with her wing.

And so we cuddled. At some point, Twilight fell asleep, and it didn’t take me much longer to follow suit. We stayed like that – sleeping nestled together – until a very weary, very worried and very irate Princess Celestia burst in on us.

I still remember the shivers that went down my spine as she glared at me for my little prank, but thankfully she backed out of the room after glancing to the still snoozing Twilight. Her revenge would be swift, brutal and embarrassing the next day, and she made certain that a vast portion of Manehatten saw it to help with morale.

Fortunately – for me – we are out of time for today. I suggest picking up some old newspapers if you’re curious. Hive knows they’re half the reason for all the embarrassment. They took the Cuddlebug Initiative far too seriously for their own good.