//------------------------------//
// Log 4162: On the topic of meat-eating in Equestria and trade talks between some professional(?) diplomats and an inexperienced monarch 
// Story: Equestrian Human 
// by TheMajorTechie 
//------------------------------//

I watched awkwardly as Celestia hungrily scarfed down an entire bucket of fried chicken. As did literally everybody else in the restaurant. The staring, I mean. If everyone was stuffing their face like Celestia currently is, then whoever cleans the place would pretty much have the ultimate headache.

...

I should probably wash my hands next time before touching the screen of my tablet. I can't exactly manipulate it in very many ways anymore, so I've mostly resorted to hand-typing the logs. Though, if I'm in a quiet place I can usually still somehow manage to get the neural link working. Somehow. Either way, ew. Oily screen is oily.

"So..." one of the diplomats coughed, sidestepping to avoid any more grease from staining his tuxedo, "I take that you have experience in eating meat?"

Celestia nodded eagerly. "Yeah," she mumbled, flecks of food flying from her mouth, "What about it?"

I leaned close to her ear, and whispered, "Horses on Earth are typically herbivores, outside of rare occasions where they might have a tendency to kill small animals and eat them." I paused for a moment. "Oh yeah, and don't eat the hay here. It tastes like cardboard. That's why I like human food."

Celestia gave me a strange look after hearing that last part, but shrugged it off. "Well," she began, turning back to the diplomat guys that were now sitting clear across the table, "In Equestria, there's already humans, so I'm mostly used to eating meat and animal products... though, not cows. They're sentient... uh..."

And now we're at the sentient versus sapient thingamajig.

"They're sapient," I began, saving Celestia from becoming a stuttering mess, "Meaning that they are intelligent beings, as opposed to sentient, which means they're able to feel and perceive."

It's a good freakin' thing I watched the show. And I'll go ahead and thank whoever it is that created the dictionary-encyclopedia-thesaurus-plugin-app-thing on my tablet.

The same guy who was talking earlier raised a point. "But your Majesty," he began, finally using Celestia's 'proper title' or whatever, "if your kingdom includes human subjects, then why are you interested in opening trade relations?"

Celestia shrugged in response. "Considering that humans are a minority within Equestria, most appliances work off of the logic that a pony is using them, so humans have mostly done nothing more than copy the designs of what we ponies have already invented."

"And so..."

"And so the most important and 'high-tech', as you call it, invention as of now are helicopters and electric trains."

Hmm... I'd object and point out how Cloudsdale seems to be a giant piece of aerogel hovering in the air, but I'll hold that for later. Maybe.

The diplomat relaxed, and sunk back into his seat, probably relieved that there'd still be at least something viable for trading. Or at least, to ship off into Equestria for a profit.

"And what does Equestria have to offer for Earth?" he suddenly said, perking back up in his seat.

Celestia thought for a moment. With a lower level of technology than Earth does, there probably wouldn't be much to off--

"Magic." Celestia blurted, "We've got skilled mages and scholars that are able to perform magic."

Almost simultaneously, most of the diplomats cringed at the word "magic". Not because it's technically an unscientific umbrella term for the ability to in some cases manipulate the fabric of reality itself, but because usually you don't hear the word "magic" come up when you're talking about things your country has to offer.

"No, seriously," Celestia refuted, "Like, here..." she began, lighting up her horn, "Watch this."

The mostly-empty bucket of fried chicken lifted off of the table and began orbiting my head.

I swatted the bucket away in annoyance. "Yeah," I deadpanned, "That probably would've been more useful than literally stuffing your face in the bucket."

Celestia shrugged again, placing the bucket back down and continuing to eat.

This is probably the most awkward conversation that I've ever been part of...

I wonder how Ranell's doing?