//------------------------------// // Rainbow Dash vs. Pinkie Pie // Story: The Gassy Mushrooms // by The Dark Wolf //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were taking a cold shower, still wearing their outfits from today, to get the fart smell off them. They smelled really bad from Rarity farting on them for two hours straight. They had apologized to Rarity and promised never to make her fart again. Rarity had forgiven them and said they could, as long as no one else was around and they didn't mind her farting on them again. "Yeah, that's not something I really wanna repeat," said Rainbow Dash. "I don't mind being farted on," said Pinkie Pie. "As long as it's not my face." "So, the other girls have their own plans tomorrow. What do you say we have a farting contest... with THREE mushrooms? Just you and me!" "Sounds super-duper-ultra-mazing!" Pinkie and Rainbow did a rump bump. ... They met up at Rainbow's house at 8:30 in the morning. Rainbow was wearing short skintight athletic blue shorts (a darker shade than her), and a matching midriff tank top, and Pinkie was wearing her jean shorts, which she had washed after the last time she wore them. First, Rainbow cooked up some baked beans for breakfast, saving some for lunch. This would only increase their gassiness, but probably not by much compared to how much they were going to be farting today! They each drank a big glass of water and a cup of cider. At 9:00, they were ready to have their contest. At the same time, Rainbow and Pinkie ate three gassy mushrooms each. This would make them even gassier than Rarity had been yesterday. For ten seconds, they felt nothing. And then, all at once, both girls let loose with a flurry of boisterous wet farts, ranging from one second to three, in Rainbow's case, four. Pinkie's farts were higher-pitched than most of Rainbow's farts. PPPFFFFFT! FFFFRRRRRT! PFFFFFFFFT! PPPPRRRRRRT! PPPBBBTTTH! PPPRRRRT! FRRRRT! FRRRRRRT! BRRRRRRT! BRRRRAAAAAP! PRRRRRRT! BRRRRRRRT! FUUURRRRP! PPPPFFFRRRT! Rainbow and Pinkie were laughing within half a minute. This was even better than Sunset and Twilight's farting contest! In part due to them being the ones farting, for they thought it was really fun to fart. They weren't sure they'd be able to keep track of how long they were, but at the moment, none of their farts seemed to last very long. Five minutes in, the room was starting to smell very bad, so Rainbow opened the windows and turned on the fan, all the while farting and chuckling at it. This aired out the room a bit, though Rainbow and Pinkie could still smell the farts. But, it wasn't as bad as being farted in the face by Rarity. Plus, they were used to each others' farts, since they would often fart in front of each other. An hour went by, and there was not a moment of silence in the house, just the continuous sound of loud farts and hysterical laughter. "Hold on..." said Rainbow, catching her breath after her fit of laughter at Pinkie's latest farts. "This one feels bigger!" She lifted her leg. PPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRT! Rainbow sighed in relief as she let out a loud wet fart that lasted 13 seconds. She made a mental note to remember this time for the contest, while Pinkie laughed so hard she involuntarily farted several times, which made her laugh even harder. Which in turn made her fart even louder. As Pinkie kicked her legs in the air, she let out a high-pitched, wet, 12-second fart. PPPPPPPPFPFFFFFFFFFFT! Now Rainbow was involuntarily farting from laughing too hard, and laughing harder as a result, because it was funnier for her when the farts were unexpected. She was laying almost face-down and banging her fist on the ground, tears streaming from her eyes as her farts grew louder, more boisterous, and, slowly, longer. PPPPPFFFFFFFFFT! BBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAP! FRRRRRT! BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRT! PRRRRT! FFFFFFFFFRRRRRT! PRRRT! PPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRT! BRRRRT! PPPPPPPFFFFFFFFT! It went this way for the second hour, their farts increasing in length. At the end of the hour the length of their farts ranged from three seconds to fifteen in Pinkie's case, and sixteen in Rainbow's. Pinkie knew Rainbow could fart better than her, but she didn't mind, farting contests were just so fun for her even if she always lost. Rainbow and Pinkie were a little sweaty now from farting and laughing so hard, so they drank some water occasionally, able to hold in their laughter but not their farts. People walking by the house could hear the loud farting from the sidewalk because the windows were open, and many of them chuckled. Even Fluttershy giggled a bit as she was going for a walk in the neighborhood. She knew how much Rainbow and Pinkie loved to fart, and didn't mind as long as they weren't right next to her. Over the third hour, Rainbow and Pinkie's farts became longer, and also louder, as well as a little wetter because they were damp with sweat. With the exception of a few short farts in-between, their farts now ranged from 7 seconds to 19. In the middle of this hour, Rainbow breaking this record with a loud 20-second fart. "Ha! 20 seconds! Try to beat that!" Rainbow turned around and slapped her butt. Pinkie was beside herself with laughter, kicking her legs in the air and accidentally farting non-stop. By the end of the third hour, it was noon. Rainbow and Pinkie didn't want to fart on an empty stomach, so Rainbow microwaved the beans she had saved for lunch, and she and Pinkie sat at the table. They were barely able to hold in their laughter as they ate the beans, for they continued to break wind very loudly despite their attempts to hold it in. They washed them down with another glass of water each, and resumed their farting contest. Not that their farting really stopped during lunch, but at least now they could laugh at it again. Over the fourth hour, occasionally their farts would get even longer. At one point, both of them farted at the same time, and while they were able to time them, they continued to laugh their butts off at it. BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT! PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT! Pinkie's fart stopped at 32 seconds, while Rainbow's stopped at 33. Rainbow could tell Pinkie stopped farting a second before her because Pinkie's fart was much higher-pitched, while Rainbow's was one of her more deeper-pitched farts. None of their farts got longer than 30 seconds for the remainder of the fourth hour. But by the end of it, all the water they drank was starting to affect them. "I gotta go pee!" said Pinkie. "But I don't-" PPPPPPFFFFFFFFT! "wanna stop farting!" "I gotta go too," said Rainbow. "I'll be-" FFFFRRRRRRT! "right back!" PPPPFFFFT! "But, I could stay a little longer!" They couldn't stop farting, and knew they wouldn't be able to for another two hours. Occasionally one of them would start to walk towards the bathroom, but then when both she and the other farted more, they couldn't help but stay, still laughing hard. Just under 20 minutes into the fourth hour, Rainbow could feel a really big fart coming. She got down on all fours and raised her behind in the air. BBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTT! The loudest fart yet made its way out of Rainbow's rear, and she pushed harder to fart even louder. The intensity of the fart caused her to pee ten seconds in, but she didn't care, she was sure this fart would win the contest for her! Only six seconds into this fart, Pinkie fell on her back, kicking her legs in the air as she laughed harder than ever, tears pouring down her face in torrents now and a series of loud, boisterous, wet farts making their way out of her tushie. Fifteen seconds into Rainbow's fart, Pinkie was wetting her shorts from laughing too hard. Rainbow's fart lasted 20 seconds. 30. 40. 50. With each second Pinkie laughed harder, and her farts made Rainbow laugh too. After a minute and three seconds, Rainbow's long fart was over. "That's a new record for me!" said Rainbow. "Nice one Dashie!" said Pinkie once she was finally able to stop laughing. "I don't think I could ever top that!" PPPRRRRT! For the fifth hour, their farts started to become shorter, ranging from three seconds to eleven. Rainbow and Pinkie were still laughing hard the entire time, and often farting involuntarily from it after hearing a particularly loud and/or long fart. The sixth hour went the same way, although there was a time Pinkie raised her butt in the air and let out a boisterous, wet, 47-second fart. Rainbow was impressed, and laughed harder at it. "That must be my new record," said Pinkie, slapping her butt lightly. "Of course, you're still winning!" Finally, after a total of six hours, Rainbow and Pinkie stopped farting. Once they caught their breath, dripping in sweat from their intense farting and laughter, they were disappointed that their gas was gone. "I win," said Rainbow, panting. "Good game, Dashie," said Pinkie. Rather than shake hands, they stood up and did a rump bump. "I've got some extra mushrooms," said Rainbow, for Pinkie had showed them where they were and she'd picked some herself. "How about we take a bath and fart in the tub?" Pinkie squealed in excitement, accidentally peeing a little more, but her shorts were already soaked with sweat so it hardly made a difference. Rainbow filled the bathtub with water, and then, without bothering to undress (their shorts were already wet and smelled like farts), she and Pinkie got into the tub. She and Pinkie each ate a mushroom, and for the next two hours straight, their tub seemed like a hot tub with bubbles, only a lot smellier. "Hey, Pinkie, have you ever wondered where those mushrooms came from?" said Rainbow in the middle of their fart-filled bath. "Who cares?" said Pinkie. "They're so much fun!" "And they're completely harmless, if you don't mind farting for the next few hours. But I've never seen anything like them before, and they don't seem very natural. Do you think Equestrian magic made them appear?" "Probably. It makes so much sense, after all that stuff at Camp Everfree. And there always seems to be so many of them in the forest no matter how many of them I pick, so they grow extra-fast." "First ponying up, then super speed, and now hours of farting! This Equestrian magic's getting better and better!"