//------------------------------// // Selling Your Buns // Story: Carrot Cake's Compromising Courtship // by Bronystories //------------------------------// Carrot Cake stayed up until the wee hours of the morning, learning how to cook. "All I have to do is stay one lesson ahead of Buttercup and I should be a great teacher!" he said. As it turned out, Carrot Cake was surprisingly good at baking. All of his prior experience with clopping had left him with very nimble and responsive hooves; perfect for kneading dough or quickly mixing ingredients. "Who knew their were so many similarities between clopping and cooking?" Carrot Cake observed, beaming with pride. After his horrible job interview, the yellow stallion was careful to never confuse one activity with the other, and always made sure to thoroughly wash his hooves when switching from one to the other. Once he'd gotten the hang of it, Carrot continued to practice baking until he fell asleep; his head rested on a pillow-shaped mound of dough. Due to a miscommunication, Buttercup didn't think Carrot Cake wanted to show her how to cook. She thought he wanted to show her his 'carrot.' "He wants to make me a mare... tonight!," Buttercup said, blushing. She checked her saddlebags to make sure she had everything she needed for her special evening, "Breath mints for me, oyster-flavored Tic Tac's for him and lots and lots of condoms. Yep. It's all here." It was evening as Buttercup stepped onto the park grounds. The sky was a deep-magenta color as Celestia's sun lowered over the hills. In the center of the park, there was a ring of bushes that offered perfect cover for any naughty activities that might occur. Carrot Cake stuck his head out from between the bushes and gestured for Buttercup to come join him. "Goodbye virginity. Hello marehood!" she whispered excitedly as she trotted towards her boyfriend. "Goodbye blankflank. Hello marehood." Carrot Cake whispered happily as he saw the mare he loved running towards him. When Buttercup stepped through to the other side, she was in awe. Spread before her was a romantic pasta dinner and a bottle of wine. Buttercup had never tried alcohol before. "Add that to my list of tonight's new experiences," she thought, nervously. In one corner, Carrot Cake had a pot boiling on an outdoor stove. The fire helped to illuminate their meal. "Did you make this dinner yourself?" Buttercup asked, impressed. "Just a little something I threw together." Carrot Cake said, blushing. He bashfully kicked his hooves in the dirt. The two ponies sat and ate, staring dreamily into each others eyes. After a couple glasses of wine, Buttercup felt herself becoming more amorous. "They say that you shouldn't try to force this to happen. It will come when the time is right," Carrot Cake said, "But I hate waiting. I'm convinced I can force this to happen tonight!" Her stallion was sounding a little rapey-er than Buttercup was used to, but she didn't care. "You won't have to force me" she said, assuringly, "I want this too! Teach me what it means to be a mare!" "I plan to," Carrot Cake said, lovingly, "But let's not rush this. There's a lot to learn so I want us to take our time and make sure we do this right." "Of course," Buttercup said, flirtatiously, "I'll follow you're lead." Carrot Cake moved the dishes aside so the picnic blanket was clear. Buttercup's heart beat fast as she tried to remember everything she learned in health class. "I practiced by myself last night," Carrot Cake said proudly, "I was thinking of you the whole time." Buttercup blushed. "I'll teach you everything I've learned," Carrot Cake added, "Tonight will be my first time doing this with somepony else." "Me, too," Buttercup said, coyly. "Really?" Carrot Cake said, surprised, "I figured you would've tried it a bunch of times with your parents by now." "What?!" Buttercup said, shocked; she assumed she must have misheard him, "What did you say?" "It doesn't matter," Carrot Cake said, reassuringly, "Once we finish, you can tell your parents all about what you did tonight." "I'm not going to tell them about tonight," Buttercup said, indignantly, "I doubt they'd be happy to find out about this, especially if they knew it was with you." "That's why we're meeting in secret," Carrot Cake said, "Just tell them what happened tonight, but leave my name out of it. They'll be so proud of your accomplishment." "Really?" Buttercup asked, uncertainly, "Are you sure?" "Absolutely." Carrot Cake confirmed, "When your dad and I were still on speaking terms, he gave me the impression that he couldn't picture you doing anything else with your life." "Really? My dad said that?" Buttercup asked, sounding slightly mortified. "Yeah," Carrot Cake said, enthusiastically, "If you had a career doing this, your parents would beam with pride. You have a knack for making things rise." Buttercup was embarrassed and confused. She'd never considered the life of a prostitute, but now apparently her father and her boyfriend were encouraging her to pursue it. "Is it really alright to do that?" she asked, "To just give it out to anypony?" "If they're a paying customer, yes." Carrot Cake said, "Although, don't discount charity work. Sometimes giving it away for free is the best way to attract new regular customers." "So I'm supposed to just serve any stallion who walks up to me?" Buttercup asked, ashamedly. "You won't just be taking orders from stallions," Carrot Cake said, "I know a mare or two who would love to eat your muffin." "Oh my," Buttercup said, going crimson. "And you can't forget about zebras or griffins," Carrot Cake added, "You have to be willing to give service to all. Ponies in your profession have to get used to flaunting their goods in public and allowing ponies to sample their wares." Buttercup gulped. "This is happening so fast," Buttercup said, apprehensively, "I'm too young to be a working girl!" "Nonsense," Carrot Cake said, "Anypony with your untapped natural abilities can never start too early." "Where would I go?" Buttercup asked, feeling overwhelmed. "The sky's the limit!" Carrot Cake said, excitedly, "You could even be booked at parties and events throughout Equestria! Just picture all those satisfied, smiling faces surrounding you. Your cream-filled honey buns will cater to the appetites of dozens of ponies at once." "Dozens at once?" Buttercup asked nervously, her face growing pale, "But what about contracting diseases?" "Just wash your hooves before you start and you should be fine." Carrot Cake said, smirking at his marefriend's timidity. "What-what if there's an accident?" She asked, quietly. "If there's a spill, then clean it up," Carrot Cake said, matter-of-factly. "No. Something serious," Buttercup said, "What if I get a... a bun in the oven?" Carrot Cake stared at her blankly. He wasn't sure what his marefriend meant by that "Well," Carrot Cake said calmly, "if it's a mistake and nopony wants it, then we can always give it to a hobo to eat." "What?!" Buttercup screamed, horrified. Carrot Cake wasn't sure what had gotten her so worked up. "She must just be nervous of failure," he thought. Buttercup didn't know what to say. Her heart was pounding in her chest. This whole conversation had left her feeling numb. "Is this all Carrot Cake thinks I'm good for?" Buttercup wondered, "Is this all my parents think I'm good for?" "Look," Carrot Cake said, trying to steer the conversation forward, "We can talk about corner case scenarios all night. We'll cross those bridges when we come to them. Right now, just clear your mind. Forget about the future. Tonight there's just you, me and our first lesson together." As she stared into his eyes, the mare's heart fluttered. Letting go of her inhibitions, Buttercup was ready to submit herself to the will of her stallion. "I don't care if he does eventually become my pimp." Buttercup thought, "No matter how degrading it may be, any life is worth living, as long as I'm with him." "Let's get started." Carrot Cake said, pulling a big brown sack next to him, "I'll go over the basics. Pay attention cause this stuff will be important when you're doing it for a living." Carrot Cake began pulling out items they would be using tonight. He set down a tub of frosting. "Ooh, kinky." Buttercup thought, grinning. Carrot Cake then set down several large carrots. "Uhh..." Buttercup said, the smile leaving her face. Next, he set down a cheese grater. The mare's pupils shrunk down to the size of pinpricks. She raised her fore-hovves over her head in defeat. "I can't." Buttercup said, shaking her head, "I can't. That's too much for me." "Wait," Carrot Cake said, "Don't you want me to teach you how to make cupcakes?" "Cup... cakes?" Buttercup asked, confused. "Yes," Carrot Cake said, "What did you think we were making?" Buttercup's eyes drifted over to her saddlebag filled with prophylactics. "I thought we were making grass sandwiches," she said. "Trust me," Carrot Cake said, taking her hoof in his, "These cupcakes will taste much better than any sandwich." The firelight flickered across the two lovers. Buttercup sat in front of a wooden crate with a white cutting board placed on top of it. To her right was a large carrot. On her left was the cheese grater. Carrot Cake pulled out a small phonograph for some mood music. "Oh, my love, my darling I've hungered for your touch A long, lonely time..." Buttercup blushed as she ran her hoof along the length of the orange phallic symbol. Holding one end of the vegetable firmly, she picked up the cheese grater in her other hoof. "And time goes by so slowly, And time can do so much Are you still mine?..." Carrot Cake came up behind his marefriend and put his hooves on top of hers. Without saying a word, the stallion guided Buttercup's movements. "I need your love, I need your love, God speed your love to me!..." Pressing down into the orange flesh, the two ponies tore out long ribbons of carrot meat and collected them in a pile. The stallion rotated the vegetable as they went, ensuring a new side was cut each time. "Lonely rivers flow To the sea, to the sea, To the open arms of the sea..." Sweat was beading on the faces of both ponies. Carrot's strong arms enveloped his mare as they worked in unison, taking slow, smooth strokes to grate the vegetable. "Lonely rivers sigh 'Wait for me, wait for me' I'll be coming home, wait for me!..." Using his abnormally long neck, Carrot Cake leaned his head forward to nuzzle against Buttercup's right cheek. The mare turned to face her stallion. Their eyes met as they leaned in for a kiss. "Oh, my love, my darling, I've hungered, hungered for your touch, A long, lonely time..." Their mouths locked together, the two lovers continued to grate the carrot. They had both forgotten to regularly rotate it, so the same side was torn into repeatedly. "And time goes by so slowly, And time can do so much, Are you still mine?..." Their kiss continued, even after the entire carrot had been completely shredded. Unaware of this fact, Buttercup and Carrot Cake absentmindedly continued to scrap the cheese grater along the surface of the cutting board. "I need your love, I need your love, God speed your love to me!..." Breaking the kiss, the two ponies stared into each others eyes. "I think we're ready to start cooking." Carrot Cake said. They added their carrot shavings to the cupcake batter. Carrot Cake pulled out of the bushes a portable oven that Buttercup recognized. It said 'property of Butter Family Bakery' on the side. There was a dent in it, from when the oven had been thrown on the ground. "This one passed over my head as your dad threw it at me," Carrot Cake said, sheepishly, "It landed in the bushes by your bakery and you're family never found it. In spite of a couple of dents, it's still in working order." Buttercup followed her coltfriend's lead in pouring the carrot cupcake batter into the tray. The mold would produce heart-shaped cupcakes. They slid the tray into the preheated oven. They felt the warmth emanating from within the oven and began to feel warm within themselves. "We do have 20 minutes to kill before those cupcakes are done..." Carrot Cake said, suggestively. Buttercup blushed as her heart beat faster. "what do you say you and I..." Carrot Cake began. "Yes?" Buttercup said, interrupting hopefully. "...go over the cooking steps again." Carrot Cake finished, smiling awkwardly. Buttercup's enthusiasm was a little deflated. "Oh," the mare said, "I thought we might..." Before Buttercup could say another word, the stallion held her close and kissed her. He lay her gently on her back as they continued to kiss in a loving embrace. He broke the kiss, leaving her gasping for air. "Did you know that there are similarities between making food and making love?" Carrot Cake asked, breathlessly. "No," Buttercup replied, panting. "In both cases, you start by preheating the oven," Carrot Cake said with a sly smile. The stallion lowered himself and began heating up Buttercup's oven. The mare let out a moan of pleasure. "Do you know what comes next?" Carrot Cake asked, gasping for breath. Buttercup giggled and reached into her saddlebags. "You prepare the ingredients," she said coyly as she tore the wrapper off one of her rubbers and applied it, just like in health class. "Now it's time to combine everything and mix together," Carrot Cake said, excitedly. The two ponies began their first lovemaking session atop Carrot Cake's picnic blanket. The heat they generated rivaled the heat of the oven beside them. Carrot Cake began to cry as he looked into Buttercup's eyes. "Am I hurting you?" Buttercup asked, concerned. "No," Carrot Cake said, "I'm crying because I'm just so happy to be here with you." Buttercup brought her fore-hooves around Carrot Cake's neck. She pulled his head down to hers and kissed him. The two lovers continued to explore every square inch of their glorious, naked bodies. "Almost done," Carrot Cake said, straining. "What?" Buttercup asked, "The cupcakes?" "Yeah," Carrot Cake said, "Those are almost done, too." They quickened their pace as Carrot Cake revealed the next step in the baking process. "When all the ingredients are properly mixed," the stallion said, grunting, "It's time to pour the batter!" At that moment, the kitchen timer dinged. The cupcakes were done. The two lovers screamed as they both arrived at a new plateau of pleasure together. As Buttercup basked in the shimmering afterglow of her climax, Carrot Cake got up and pulled the cupcakes out of the oven. He pulled two of the heart-shaped desserts out of the tray and brought them over to his love. The two ponies coated their cupcakes in frosting and shared them with each other. "Mmmm, delicious," Buttercup said, enjoying her post-coital confection, "You make excellent cupcakes." "We make excellent cupcakes," Carrot Cake said. After finishing their tasty treats, the two lover fell into a deep sleep. They rested under the stars as the cool summer air washed over their glistening, sweaty bodies. Buttercup smiled as she placed a hoof on Carrot Cake's chest and hugged him. They slept peacefully through the night, surrounded by a thick hedgerow of bushes. The next morning Buttercup was awoken by Carrot Cake's excited tone. "It came!" Carrot Cake said, beaming with pride, "No longer a blank flank anymore!" Buttercup opened her eyes and looked at Carrot Cake. A cutie mark had appeared on his flank overnight. It was of three frosted carrot cakes. "I'm so happy for you!" Buttercup said. "Happy for me?" Carrot Cake asked, "It's your cutie mark." Buttercup looked down at her blue backside. Three cupcakes had appeared on her flank while she slept. Now that she had her special talent, she knew her life was changed forever. "You got your cutie mark, too!" Buttercup said, excitedly. Carrot Cake was shocked to hear that announcement and quickly looked behind himself to confirm it. As he started at the physical manifestation of his hard work and dedication, a warm feeling spread throughout Carrot Cake's body. He realized that they had both gotten their cutie marks together. Buttercup had told her parents she was spending the night at a marefriend's house last night, so her parents never worried about where she was. When she arrived home later that morning, she had two big surprises for parents. Her first one was showing off her cutie mark. Buttercup's parents beamed with pride. Her father told her she could now become a full partner in the family business. "Our family will soon be getting bigger," Buttercup said, "I found the stallion I want to marry. It's because of him that I got my cutie mark." "Is it that nice O'Soup fellow?" Buttermilk asked, hopefully. "Buck no!" Buttercup said, zealously, "Not if he was the last stallion in Equestria." Buttercup gestured for Carrot Cake to step inside the store. With trepidation in every footstep, Carrot Cake entered the shop. The parents gasped in shock when they saw the stallion. Butter Brickle's face grew red as he stared at Carrot Cake. "Dad," Buttercup said, "you know Carrot Cake. Last night he taught me how to bake before taking my virginity. Now I want to marry him!" Five minutes later, Carrot Cake and Buttercup were walking away from her parents bakery with all of her possessions in tow. "I was afraid something like this would happen," Carrot Cake said, "I've never seen a parent draw up familial annulment papers so quickly." "They said I wasn't welcome in their store as long as we were together," Buttercup said, sadly. "They're mad now, but that will change over time," Carrot Cake said, reassuringly, "They'll sing a different tune once their grandfoals arrives." "Foals!" Buttercup said, blushing, "I'm not ready to be a mother yet!" Carrot Cake chuckled. "I didn't say we had to start right now," he said, "First we need to get established with our own bakery." "Where should we go?" Buttercup asked. "Well, my little Cup Cake, " Carrot Cake said, bestowing on his fiance her new moniker, "I've heard good things about Ponyville."