Deadpool walked through the swamps while dressed up as a poor man's version of Man Thing.
"Ahem! It's Swamp Thing." He corrected. "And no, not from Injustice 2, folks at home, but from the cartoon, with one of the world's worst cartoon intros by ruining "Wild Thing.""
Sadly, it's true.
We should do that if anyone has a Swamp Thing story and wants a crossover with us!
"DO IT!!! I'm open!!!"
Ahem, Deadpool traveled through the swamps, but stumbled upon a small village, with many of the folks covered in orange polka dots, and sneezing lightning.
This looks serious.
"Yeah! It looks like that contagion scene from Blood C."
Which we aren't going to show because that scene is f**ked up in an already f**ked up show!
"Hell yeah! Hope there's no demonic, shape shifting rabbits around here."
But we need to help these ponies.
"Ha! I think I already got an answer!"
Deadpool made a stand in a few seconds then stood behind it and began to blare some air horns, getting everypony's attention. The crowd moaned and some walked to him, looking like zombies. Without hesitation, Deadpool put on a medical mask over his face.
"Greetings, everypony in this fair town! I see you've all got yourselves in quite a fever."
"Swamp Fever." A mare coughed.
"Well have no worry, for I bring you something that can help cure this plague!" He pulled out a bottle. "Modern medicine!!!" The ponies looked at each other in confusion. "Instead of relying on the nearest witch doctor, you can use this as a means to keep yourselvesd from getting sick and cure your illness in a few days!"
"A few days?" A stallion asked.
"That's right! Anyone willing to try?" The crowd stood, but a lone mare with small branches growing out of her body approached and drank the bottle. She coughed a bit.
"It's sour!"
"Yeah, couldn't really make different flavors." Deadpool replied. "How you feelin'?"
"Like... pretty good." The branches fell off of her and the polka dots disappeared. The crowd gasped at the sight. "In fact, I feel GREAT!!!"
"Who wants some medicine!? Only 10 bits a bottle!" The crowd ran to him with ponies buying the bottles. A blue mare with a red, Marge Simpson looking hair style, wearing a blue and yellow, toucan mask, walked in.
"I found the cure!" She announced in a Cajun accent "It's the Flash Bee's Ho-!" She paused as Everypony was cured and Deadpool was on a pile of bits.
"Sorry, Missy," Deadpool spoke. "I know this is your legend, but inflation's on my side!"
"And that's how Deadpool cured the village from-" A short, brown, huge dark yellow bearded stallion spoke before stopping. "Hang on... I don't remember him."
"But I do!" Deadpool spoke, popping in from a window. "I'm Rich, BEEOTCH!!!" Deadpool ran away.
1 Week later.
Deadpool followed the Mane 6, Starlight and Sunburst to where Starswirl's journal said they went missing.
"Why do we need Deadpool again?" Starlight asked.
"Protection." Sunburst replied.
"And I want to see some Starbusrt action!" Deadpool added, bouncing his eyebrows suggestively. They all approached to something that looks like the Stonehenge. "I KNEW IT!!! Starswirl's an alien! Illuminati confirmed!!!"
"This is the Ponhenge." Twilight corrected. "And I can't believe it."
"I've never seen magical runes like these before!" Sunburst added "Have you?"
"Uh-uh."
"I don't think anypony's seen any of this for a long time." Rainbow Dash added
"You don't say?" Deadpool asked.
"It'd take a whole team of ponies to clear away all this brush." Applejack spoke.
"Or just one guy."
"Even then, I'm not sure we'd find out what happened here over a thousand years ago." Fluttershy added.
"I might!"
"You're right. I suppose it was a long shot." Twilight sighed
"Cheer up, Twilight." Spike encouraged "Finding a whole set of ancient ruins is pretty impressive. Maybe you could write a paper on it."
"I guess I hoped we'd get here and the mystery would just magically be explained."
"And That's lazy writing." Deadpool added. Twilight dropped Starswirl's book onto a pillar, making it and the pillar glow. A hologram of Starswirl appeared. "HOLY S**TOH!!! It's him!!!"
"I don't think he is here." Sunburst spoke, touching the hologram before pointing. "I don't think any of them are." Holograms of Flash Magnus, Mistmane, Somnambula, Meadowbrook, and Rock Hoof appeared on their own pillar. Deadpool sweated a bit under his mask.
You've done f**ked up.
The Holo-Star Swirl blasted some magic at the well, summoning a giant black pony made from some ooze, which laughed evilly.
"You summon me at your peril, Star Swirl! Once I defeat all of you, this realm will embrace the darkness as I did so long ago!" He let out a roar, entangling the legends in vines. "Drawing me here will only make me stronger. You will never defeat-!"
"Wait! WAIT!!!" A hologram of Deadpool ran in, breathing heavily. "Ok... one second here... look, this is basically Princess Luna all over again! Part one wanted something, party two said no, party one turns all edgelord and stuff and tries to kill everyone, and party two has to beat them. My question is simply, why don't you be more persistent, Stygian? Why don't you-?" The Pony of shadows stomped on Deadpool. Starswirl lifted his book, as did everyone else (minus Flash), and made a pentagram, trapping the pony of shadows and Deadpool. A large flash came, and everyone was gone. Everypony turned to Deadpool.
"... Oh great, time travel shenanigans." Deadpool groaned. "But I did make a good point." It was at that moment that Cable appeared behind him.
"WADE!!!" He announced before Deadpool took his device.
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
Meanwhile
Deadpool, the legends, and Pony of shadows floated throughout limbo.
"... So... Who wants to sing?" Deadpool asked. Everyone groaned. "I know a perfect song!"
♬It's a world of laughter
A world of tears
It's a world of hopes
And a world of fears
There's so much that we share
That it's time we're aware
It's a small world after all!
t's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small, small world♬
"Enough of this torture!" The Pony of Shadows begged.
"Agreed!" Star Swirl added. "We need something else to pass the time for eternity."
♬There is just one moon
And one golden sun
And a smile means
Friendship to everyone
Though the mountains divide
And the oceans are wide
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small, small world
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small, small world
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small, small world
It's a small, small world.♬
"... Is it over? Rock Hoof asked.
"Nope! Again, but in spanish!" Deadpool replied.
"NOOO!!!" Everyone screamed.
When all of the artifacts were gathered, including Flash's shield (found in Deadpool's armory), a portal opened and all of the legends were dumped to the floor unceremoniously. Each of the Mane 6 grabbed a hold of them and dragged them before they were crushed by a boulder. Deadpool landed in the middle.
"Whoo! That was relaxing!" Deadpool cheered. "How's everyone doing?"
"No! Please!" Somnambula groaned. "I'm too familiar with how small the world is!"
"You already ruined our lives!" Flash growled, holding his shield. "And we're now free!"
"Let's all take turns." Rock Hoof added. The Pony of shadows arrived.
"You sir, are the most evil being I've ever meet!" He spoke to Wade. "Here, have this worthless peon!" The shadow monster literally spat out a small, gray unicorn stallion with a blue mane, wearing a peasent's coat. "You're mine, Deadpool!"
"... Yeah, sorry, don't need another symbiote." Deadpool replied. "But I will use these!" A Power Rangers-Eques theme played as he grabbed the legends tools. "Mask of Meadowbrook!" The mask slid onto his face "Blinds of Somnambula!" The blinds wrapped around his head, making it a headband. "Flower of Mistmane!" The flower went over his right ear. "Shovel of Rock Hoof!" The Shovel went into his right hand. "Shield of Flash Magnus!" The Shield slid over his left arm. "And Starswirl's fanfiction!!!" The journal opened and went over his torso. Deadpool posed in his 'battle' outfit.
"It's a journal!" Starswirl yelled
"HA!!! Your silly costume means nothing to me!" The Pony of Shadows roared. "You and I will become one!"
"I doubt it. FLASHLIGHT STRIKE!!!"
"ECH!!! LOVE!!! GET IT AWAY!!!" The Shadow creature screeched. Deadpool swung the shovel.
"Luckily, I've been watching Wakfu." He swung the shovel at the shadow, whacking it's cheek with it. It looked rather confused.
"What the-!? How-!?"
"WAKFU!!!" He whacked it on the head several times, making it become smaller. "Qui savait qu'un Anime français pouvait être aussi bon avec une meilleure animation que celui du film de haute qualité du Japon?"
Mais bien sûr. C'est comme Teen Titans.
Le poney des ombres a fait partir les Teen Titans! Allons le tuer!
"Allons-y!!!" Deadpool whacked it one final time before jumping into the air and decapitating the shadow monster. "Let this evil never return in a millions years! ... Or, another 1000 years."
"I will return..." The shdaow monster spoke before oozing into the floor. Deadpool turned to the others, who watched with shock expressions.
"... What!? You should've listened beforehand and not assume he was going to take your spot. Sheesh, and people say cellphones ruin communications. So remember kids, know what you're talking about, and get every detail in there so the people you're talking to won't kick you out of their group."
And knowing is half the battle!
And knowing is half the battle!
