A hideous gargoyle leaped out at Spike. Of course it was only a wax figure on a mechanical tram inside the haunted castle attraction of the amusement park. Spike stepped behind the gargoyle, and pressed on a latch to enter a secret room.
What would Twilight think if she knew this room existed? He’d snuck it into the blueprints while delivering them to the robot construction workers. The workers just built the room without asking any questions. They probably thought it was just another of the many secret rooms Twilight was building into the park anyway.
No one else knew this place existed. He flicked the light switch.
“Hello, Spike.”
Spike leaped at the sound of her voice. At his greater size, the stomp made a fair bit of noise. “Glimmer.” He looked around. All he found was a small cactus on the table. He leaned in and looked closer. “Glimmer, is that you?”
“Yes, Spike, it’s me.”
“You’re a cactus now? How did you get in here?”
“My main consciousness is still in the Golden Oaks library. I just sorta connect with other plants if I want to.”
“Great, now I can never pee behind a bush again.”
Starlight Glimmer laughed. It’s funny because it’s true.
“Hold on Glimmer. There are trees and flowerbeds on every sidewalk. I thought I was sneaky just building this room, but you’re spying on the whole park.”
“Oh Spike, if I wanted to, I could spy on a lot more then just this park.”
There was a playfulness to her brand of creepy. Starlight knew the whole haunted tree thing made the big dragon squirm, and she loved to tease him about it. Still, it was the teasing that came from a sort of sisterly love, and not a vengeful ghost type of teasing. She would reserve that for others.
“Does Twilight know you’re doing this?”
“Of course! I’m like her gal Friday. I’ll be with her to make sure everything goes perfectly.”
“But that’s not why you’re really here.” As he spoke, Spike took out a broadsword and started sharpening it.
“No, I’m here for the same reason you are. I’m here to answer the questions that have been haunting us for so long.”
“You’re the one being haunted.” Sarcasm was in Spikes voice.
She was of course talking about the predestination paradox. Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash.
They both knew the mares wouldn’t be able to send them home simply because those ponies never returned home. Other ponies made the trip and returned. Most returned the moment they left. The residents of Ponyville returned after one month with no idea why they were so late. Still, five of the Main Six never did come back.
There had to be a reason, aside from just fulfilling the predestination paradox. There had to be an enemy. After so long waiting for this enemy to appear, Spike had to admit his expectations were high. He expected Sombra, Chrysalis, The Pony of Shadows, Xenomorphs, all of the above, and he would be ready for any and all of them.
“Hear ye, Hear ye, We call this meeting to order.”
Order was called by a yellow coated stallion with a red moustache and a candy cane mane. The stallion wore a pinstriped suit, which he thought looked mayoral. He preferred to be addressed by his title of First Chairpony, possibly because in the past thousand years his family name had somehow become synonymous with con artists.
Next to him sat his brother, the Second Chairpony. Twins ran in the family. Over to the right were the treasurer, the secretary, and a few rich ponies who probably had some title or other. Finally sitting at the opposite end of the table was princess Flurry Heart.
Flurry Heart looked very young for a council member. It turned out ponies who are born as alicorns age slowly; who knew? Since her stature still did not yet reflect her level of life experience, she’d gone through a petulant phase about six hundred years ago, and argued that ponies never took her seriously enough. When Celestia made her the new headmistress of her school for unicorns, she thought it was just to keep her out of the way. It was only in the past five hundred years that she began to feel shaping the minds of young ponies was more important than these silly council meetings, and nowadays attending them was the hassle.
The table of the meeting room was much larger then the desk in Flurry Heart’s office. It was also clear of knick knacks, reference books, electrical devices, and the various articles of paperwork she told ponies to just put on her desk when she had no intention of ever being bothered with them. This made the table an ideal place to grade student essays and book reports. Her fellow city councilmen just wished she would not do this during their meetings.
“The first order of business.” The First Chairpony scanned his paperwork. “Oh, this again,” he spoke with not too well masked annoyance. “Mares and colts, as you know Celestia originally groomed Twilight Sparkle as a protege. She was supposed to hold a much higher position in Equestrian government then she currently holds.” The First Chairpony drank some water to clear his throat. “After her accident it was decided that Twilight Sparkle was not fit to rule.”
Flurry Heart looked up from her papers, seeming ready to object right there. However, she allowed the Chairpony to continue.
“As per Celestia’s wishes, extra powers were awarded to the local government with the understanding that these powers would be returned to Twilight Sparkle when she is cured of her condition. My friends, she is not cured. I don’t know if anypony is even working to find a cure. Therefore I motion that we keep our extra legislative powers for another year.”
At this point Flurry Heart stepped in. “First Chairpony, it is my belief that you are misrepresenting the wishes of the late Princess Celestia.”
“What a surprise, you object again; just like you do every other year.”
“Actually this is slightly different then my past objections.” Flurry Heart put her hooves on the table and spread her wings to show authority. It was times like these she wished she were taller. “I’ve reviewed Princess Celestia’s statements with regard to Twilight Sparkle's accident, and at no point did she ever say that Twilight needs to be cured.”
The First Chairpony tugged at his collar. "Where did she get those statements?" he wondered. It was technically true. Celestia only said that Twilight had to be capable of ruling, not cured of her condition. For a long time the general public believed that she did say "cured". Today it was common knowledge that she did indeed say "capable". There’s an interesting story about how it became common knowledge actually. The controversy itself of whether she said "cured" or "capable" became popular. This was because conspiracy and time travel enthusiasts cited the controversy as proof of something called the Mandela Effect; which was nonsense, at least in this case.
What actually happened is one of the Chairponie's predecessors (who was elected and not one of his descendants) was a wealthy colt who bought his way into power and funded a secret smear campaign to keep power. He manipulated the media to make ponies believe that Celestia said "cured". He also tried to get ponies to refer to Twilight as the Broken Princess. Even the current Chairpony felt that was just mean. It never really caught on. Though a few adults of the time did use the term ‘Broken Princess’ the younger colts and fillies all preferred the title: Coolest Princess Ever. Thanks to the many friendship emergencies the cutie map sent her to handle giving her a closer relationship with her subjects, some ponies even preferred most lovable princess.
“Mere semantics my dear, Celestia may as well have said 'cured'. Surely no pony thinks she can do our jobs with her condition.”
“Actually, sir,” came the voice of the secretary, “polls show that 7/10 ponies think she can. There is also a concerning trend where 1/10 ponies think we are an illegitimate government keeping power away from their rightful ruler.”
“She can’t tell time. She would need to be told to go to every appointment.”
“Sounds familiar,” said Flurry. The First Chairponie's appointment keeping secretary giggled at that comment.
“What about the complexity of the job?” the chairpony smirked.
“I heard Twilight just finished building an amusement park in outer space.”
“Oh, big deal! We’ve been putting ponies on the moon for over two thousand years.”
“What about her inability to retain bad memories?” This time it was the Second Chairpony who joined in. You might think it’s fine for a pony princess to be all sweetness, innocence, and rainbows; but this was actually the biggest concern. If anything bad happened, she would remember for a time, long enough to grieve maybe, but not for years. She would sometimes try to visit ponies who had been dead for decades, upsetting their families. If Twilight had not heard from a dangerous enemy for some time and they came knocking on the door, then she’d usually start by offering them tea and pastries. Then of course there was the infamous “Let them eat cake,” statement spoken on her visit to Prance; though some claim she never said that and the myth was a product of the smear campaigns. The Second Chairpony actually had a good case there.
The Treasurer cut in. “Well, uh…what about festivals, and entertainment events? Surely Twilight can take a more active role with those.”
“Those make up two-thirds of our budget.”
“TWO-THIRDS!” some pony yelled spitting out his coffee.”
“Yes, we’re all magical ponies. It’s kinda our thing." This was not the first time the Council Treasurer had to justify that to somepony. "Anyhow, Twilight could take a more active role in managing those events.”
A few ponies nodded their heads.
“My brother and I are going to take a short recess, we’ll be right back.” Said the moustached chairpony. He wrapped an arm around this brothers shoulder, and they trotted off together.
“We can’t let her give two-thirds of the budget to Sparkle.”
“Of course not. Especially since that’s the easiest part of the budget to embezzle from.”
“Brother Flam, maybe Twilight needs to have another one of her famous and very public embarrassing incidents.
“I agree completely, brother Flim."