Amperage trotted out of the doctor’s office in Cloudsdale with a wave behind him. The nurse waved goodbye, and he took off into the evening sky. He gingerly touched the bandages the doctor had patched him up with, and felt a stinging sensation. The wounds had been disinfected, and only one of the scratches needed sealed shut, but the disinfectant still stung a bit. The doc said he was lucky his eye hadn’t been hit, and with any luck, it wouldn’t leave a scar. Amperage wouldn’t have minded if that one scarred, as he thought it might add to his rugged good looks. But still, he was fine, and he hadn’t gone blind. Thank Celestia for that!
Amperage dug around in his coat and pulled out the business card. He smiled to himself and did a roll in the air happily. He’d gotten a mare’s number! A unicorn mare no less! He’d probably hear it from some of the guys, but hot damn if he wasn’t happier than a rat in garbage!
He knew all about the neat things a unicorn could do in the bedroom, but he’d never had the opportunity to experience it. A unicorn that was adept with their magic could make all sorts of fun things happen, and stimulate any part of the body without their hooves. They could literally touch you all over!
Amperage kicked his legs in the air in excitement. He really couldn’t blow it. He’d have to play off his injuries when they met, maybe pretend it was a rougher encounter than it had been. But he was lucky to have not lost an eye, that might be enough to impress her.
He flipped the card over and looked at the name: Nom de Guerre. That was such a strange name. Gear said it might be Prench, but Amperage didn’t know. He also didn’t care.
Amperage flew home and alighted on his perch. As a pegasus he had access to the cliff-side or top-floor towers. They were reserved around Middle Canterlot for pegasi exclusively so that they had places easy to take off from. So many pegasi worked in Cloudsdale as worked in Canterlot that it had become a necessity, so it was an unspoken agreement among realtors to sell them to pegasi.
Amperage unlocked the door and went inside. He held onto the business card and tossed his coat to the side, then flipped his goggles down over his eyes. He winced as they pressed on his wounds, but it went away quickly enough.
He filled out his work-related injury form, complete with the doctor’s information so they could verify it. As soon as he was done, his closed those windows and brought up the phone.
He looked at the card again: Loafer’s Bakery. Owner by the name of Six-Grain. Nom de Guerre said she was staying there. Did that mean she might be leaving soon? He hoped not. He could at least bring it up with her, but he said he would call tonight, so he would do that. Amperage dialed in the number, then hit send. He leaned back onto his beanbag chair and waited.
Eventually, a deep stallion’s voice answered the phone. “Loafer’s Bakery: We always rise to the occasion. What can I do for you?”
“Hello, my name is Amperage. I was given this number by a mare named Nom de Guerre? She said she was staying at your location.”
“Hmm? I’m not sure what you—” the timbre of the stallion’s voice suddenly changed “—Oh! Nom de Guerre! Of course, of course! She’s right here.”
There was a fumbling sound as the stallion removed the phone from his ear, then nothing until Amperage heard a mare’s voice on the line.
“Hello, Amperage.” Her voice dropped with sensuality, and Amperage couldn’t help but shiver as she spoke his name.
“Hey, Guerre! It’s alright if I call you Guerre, isn’t it? I said I’d call tonight. I had to stop by the doctor’s office and fill out some paperwork, but I’m finally home! It’s been an exciting day. How are you?”
“I’m doing quite well, thank you. You may call me Guerre if you like, but I do not wish to engage in small talk. I must meet with you as soon as possible. Where do you live?”
Amperage sat up. Was this really happening? Did he really luck out so quickly? All the other one-night stands he’d had were always playing coy and hard-to-get, or they wanted him to buy them drinks and shit. They were never so straightforward.
“Uh… sure! Tonight?”
“Yes, tonight.”
“Well, I can come pick you up if you don’t mind being carried. It’d be quicker than the subway ride up here.”
“That will do. My dignity is not so fragile that I cannot be carried.”
“Well, great! I can find Loafer’s place and be down there within a half hour. Will you be ready?”
“Yes, of course. I am ready right now. I knew you would be calling.”
She was that excited to see him? This was getting better and better. “Sure, I’ll be down right away, then! See you soon!”
“See you soon, Amperage.” She emphasized his name and he shivered again. Damn her voice was sexy!
Amperage hung up and dashed into the bathroom. He gave himself a once-over with some deodorant, rinsed his face and hooves, then looked at what clothes he might wear. He immediately just tossed them back in the closet and dashed out the door. If tonight went the way he wanted, he wouldn’t need clothes!
Amperage locked the door behind him, then dove off his balcony and began gliding down to Ponyville. While he flew, he pulled up a map of Ponyville in his HUD and looked for Loafer’s Bakery. It was pretty unpopular, which made him question why a mare as pretty as Guerre would be staying there. Maybe the rent was cheap? It was even in a pretty nasty part of town. There was a related story that showed several ponies had gone missing in that area over the past month or two. At least it wasn’t too far away from Eternal Lights and the grocery store Gear and he had stopped at. That made it passingly familiar.
Come to think of it, Amperage thought, she did seem a little bit too eager to come to his place. Maybe she was playing him? The thought was worrisome, but as long as he played it safe, checked for weapons, and double-checked things to make sure he wasn’t going to be robbed blind if she did try to take advantage, he should be fine. He should let somepony know what was going on, though.
Amperage pulled up his messenger and logged on to Buzzbook: The online messenger service everypony used. He immediately saw a message from his boss claiming that his medical claim was bunk. He was expecting that, but he’d played this game many a time and he was ready. He’d deal with that tomorrow, though. Tonight was for mares.
Amperage decided against letting his boss know he was going to get laid, and looked at his other messages. To his surprise, he found one from Gear Grinder. He hadn’t expected the stallion to bother messaging him, as the stallion was too uptight. But it looked like he had an extra reason: Amperage had forgotten his techmantic antenna.
Amperage grinned. It had—of course—been a plot to get him to contact him, but he thought he was going to have to make the first move.
Amperage sent a message back: “Hey, yeah! Thanks for holding onto it for me! At least it wasn’t stolen. I’ll send you a message when I can come pick it up, but tonight, I need to let you know: I’m meeting that unicorn mare. The one from Ponyville? She totally wants to jump my bones, dude. She’s coming to my place, so if I’m dead or robbed, I need you to call the police on her, okay? I’ll message you in the morning. If I don’t, I’m probably dead. But at least I got laid!” He added a small picture of an excited pony at the end, then sent it.
Gear would take things seriously. They were new friends, after all. The main thing was that somepony knew he was alive right now, and what was going to be happening. That was the last bit of peace of mind he needed. Now he could get lucky without a care in the world. Amperage flipped up his goggles and swooped down to the place marked by his HUD.
He smelled it before he landed, and it only took a little bit of searching to find the bakery once he’d caught the scent. It was a small place, with a single smokestack and no seats. It looked like the owner lived in a small corner of a larger building, with his entire livelihood on the bottom floor, and his living space above. He wasn’t sure where one building ended and the shop began, but it probably wasn’t very impressive.
Amperage walked up and rapped on the counter. “Excuse me, I’m here to see Nom de Guerre? She lives here.”
The scarred and ugly pony at the counter responded in that deep voice he remembered from the phone. “Ah! Yes, yes. Guerre is upstairs. I will fetch her for you.”
The pony disappeared, and came back down with the green unicorn with the orange mane he remembered from the grocery store.
“Greetings… ‘Amperage’.” She reached out and took his hoof in hers. He felt a chill travel down his spine at her voice and touch, and he wanted nothing more than to hear her speak his name again.
“Hello, Guerre. I, uh…” Amperage lost himself briefly in her impossibly bright yellow eyes. He struggled to continue speaking. “Are you ready to go?”
“Of course, I just need to say goodbye.” She turned to the bakery owner. “Well, I’m leaving now, Six-Grain.”
Six-Grain looked up from the dough he was kneading and his angry face broke into a smile. “Farewell, Nom de Guerre. It was a pleasure having you here.”
“It was indeed. Thank you very much for the food and lodging. But be careful with your work. I worry you might one day—” she paused “—‘work yourself to death, Six-Grain’.” Nom de Guerre turned away from him and looked back up at Amperage. “Let’s go. I don’t want to stay down here in this cesspit any longer.
Amperage listened to the exchange, and briefly wondered why Six-Grain was working so hard so late at night. The sun was below the horizon, and the last light was disappearing. It didn’t make sense to be baking anything fresh when most ponies would be in bed.
Nom de Guerre touched his withers and all thoughts except getting her back to his place left his mind. “Of course! As my lady wishes!” He lifted her up, and she smiled a small smile, then put a hoof on her straw hat to hold it in place, and Amperage jumped into the air.He flew upward in a lazy spiral, then aimed for home.
He’d get her home, and they would… they would… what was he going to do with her? He couldn’t quite figure it out. But when his balcony came into view and he landed, Guerre pulled his key out and unlocked the place herself. She’d let him know what he would do. He knew it.