A Pony a Day

by OfTheIronwilled


Empty (11/3/2017)

"My faithful student, whatever is the matter? You always seem so troubled when you visit me these days. Are you having friendship problems back in Ponyville?"

"I-- oh, no! Of course not Celestia, I've explicitly detailed all of recent problems in our Friendship Reports. Anything that's come up has been solved by now."

"That's always good to hear, Twilight. You've certainly made bounds of progress in your studies. So why is it that you seem so... unhappy?"

"Well... I- I mean, I'm not unhappy, Princess. Why, I'm better than ever. I have good friends and a library and-- yes! Yes, I've never felt better!"

"... Twilight... you know you can talk to me. If this issue is bothering you, is so upsetting that you can't bring yourself to speak to your friends about it, I promise you that you can trust me. You know I love you, my little pony."

"I... I know, Princess Celestia... I know that you care about me. And I... I promise, it has nothing to do with my friends. That's... kind of the problem."

"How so? I'm all ears, Twilight."

...

"Okay. O-Okay, well. It's just that, lately, I've been feeling so-- empty. And that doesn't make any sense! Now I have friends, ponies who care about me and liste to my problems, and who I love with my whole heart. In a way, I'm more fulfilled and content than I've ever been. I sincerely like the ponies I met in Ponyville, Princess Celestia. I like to spend time with them, talking with them makes me feel so happy-- but I'm not happy. Not... entirely. And it has nothing to do with them. It's just... me.

It feels like there's this weight inside of me wherever I go now. Well- I guess it's always kind of been there, now that I think about it. I was always just so focused on my studies, on filling my head with knowledge, that I was able to push past it. But over the past couple weeks it's been bothering me. A lot. No matter what I do, how "happy" I am, there's this emptiness that follows me at every hoofstep. Just last week Spike caught me staring off into space and crying. I can't even remember why I was crying! I just... I feel so sad, Celestia. Some days I don't even want to reshelve the books or study the new tomes that were just donated. It all seems like so much and-- and it doesn't make me feel as giddy as it used to. Other days I'm normal, but most times... I feel like there's something broken inside of me, or like somepony put a curse on me or something ridiculous like that. Of course right now the impact is minimal, but that hex is spreading over me, over everything. Every step I take, every time I breathe, every time I talk to a friend, there's this shattered thing inside of me whispering that none of it matters. And-- And sometimes I believe it, Princess Celestia, I--"

...

"Oh Twilight... I wish I knew of a way to take your pain. All I can say to you, my faithful student, is that you are not broken. You are a powerful, smart and kind mare, one who has slain evil with nothing but the love she and her friends have in their hearts. If you're hurting now... Twilight, we can find a way to help ease that hurt. I will, personally. And I'm sure that if you told your friends about this, they would be there to support you at every turn."

...

"Twilight? You've done a very powerful thing. You've come to a friend for help when something hurt you, when something inside urged you to turn to isolation. I know that's not easy, my little pony. I know from experience. A thousand years of it. Now please, Twilight, look at me."

...

"You matter. Your life matters, and not only because of what you've done for Equestria. Because you are a wonderful young mare, and you have so many who love you. That love, Twilight Sparkle? It is no mistake. Do you understand?"

...

"I... I don't know if I do, Princess. But I promise you, I'll talk to my friends. And... and thank you. Thank you so much. For listening to me."

"Of course, Twilight."