//------------------------------//
// Central: Regretfully Saving the World 
// Story: Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1) 
// by Barrobroadcaster 
//------------------------------//

The low chances of Dan's plan working, the high probability of it failing and the immediate danger of putting it into action were all offset by the unified need for it to work. They had doubts, they had disagreements, they were mismatched and inefficient, none of them were qualified to be there and every moment increased the odds that they'd start fighting each other as the world tore itself apart.

But that didn't happen. Because more powerful than the forces that incessantly tried to divide them was the bond that held them together. A pragmatist would have called it necessity, but that only galvanized what was there beneath: love. Maybe not directly for each other or the organizations they were a part of, but love for what they were all a part of. By that extension, they were all in some way united. They were all friends, though only Twilight Sparkle would have dared make such a claim. And she was not there to make it.

Working together with different thoughts in their heads and varied ideals in their hearts, they got the job done. The magic began flowing back into Equestria's core, the Gears repaired the damage to the crust and Dan and the rest of the gang filled in the smaller holes and dug trenches and tunnels to contain the runoff and relieve pressure. They watched as the sky turned back to its regular color: a light grey-blue afternoon sky with just a hint of orange in the distance and a few puffy rogue clouds.

Dan beamed at the sight of the Gears pushing the mountain back together, oddly enough in the shape of a Marker, but Dan didn't notice that fact. He stood with his hands on his hips, proud. "And once again, thanks to my amazing ingenuity, the world is saved. You're welcome, world."

Earth: Thanks, Dan.

"No one's talking to you, Earth."

Earth: No one's ever talking to me...

"The hippies talk to you," Spinner pointed out. And Earth glared at her from the other side of the fourth wall. "Ohh... yeah, right. Sorry about that."

Earth: It's fine.

"I have to admit, you've done it again, Dan," Phoenix said, hand on the shorter man's shoulder.

Dan decided to allow the touching gesture. "Thanks, Nicky. Couldn't have done it without you." Two seconds longer than normal, anyway; he carefully removed the lawyer's hand. "Well... it would have taken me longer, anyway. A little longer, at least. I mean, if I had a bunch of shovels already, I'd probably be- hey, where are you going?"

"Good news, Colress?" Phoenix asked. "Everything looks to be fine with the planet. At least, the parts that weren't already fine. Are you getting any positive readings?"

"Yes, thankfully," the scientist said, still tapping away. "Everything seems to be in order... and I do mean everything."

"That is a relief," Cap said. The Blasties played with his shield in the background with Fusey nomming on it. Cap either didn't notice it was gone or was too relieved to care at the moment.

Marksaline blipped into existence. Gary Busey was not with her. "The Markers are quiet now. They have gone but I do not know where they travel. The song has been sung for now, and Equestria is whole again. She watches and she is impressed, but she does not know where they go. They run from her..."

"That's good... I think," Apple Bloom said. "But where's Gary?"

Marksaline shivered once. "He is... elsewhere. I know not where."

"Oh... kay," Sweetie Belle commented.

"Can we go home now?" Scootaloo asked.

"I think that would be for the best," Phoenix said. "Cap, Chris, you're welcome to join us if you'd like. There's more than enough room back at the library now that it's expanded. And Ponyville's pretty safe."

Captain America nodded. "Thanks, Nick. Sounds like the best idea right now. Right, Chris?"

"Agreed. Food and a place to sleep sound like the best idea ever right now."

"And what makes you think ALL of us are going to join you?" Springer asked. She, Springer and Silver Spoon were arrayed opposite Dan's group, still clearly opposed to them. "Equestria is saved now but that doesn't mean we've given up. We may have helped prevent Equestria from being desroyed, but we still support Vice Grip's efforts to... destroy... Equestria. Damn, it really doesn't make sense when you say it out loud."

"I thought he was trying to destroy Earth," Springer said.

"He IS trying to destroy Earth," Dan growled. "He's trying to make a "better future" version of Equestria out of Earth. And that's just as stupid as trying to blow up this planet. Look, we might hate each other- I know for a fact I hate you, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. We all disagree on a lot of crap... but we all need to work together, any way and every way we can. Or squee's not going to get better. We are going back to Ponyville now, all of us. No matter what happens, no matter what the future brings..." his anger faded for a moment and something more resolute took hold. It filled his eyes as he said, "We will face it together. Whatever happens, we face it together."

Not all of them nodded, but in their hearts, they all agreed. The relief that they had just saved the world was replaced by the reality that the world was still in danger. The Director, Vice Grip, whatever other forces there were and what they had unleashed, they waited in the dark for the intrepid group. They watched and they waited.

Before they even got off the summit of the newly-christened Mount Jerk(just in Dan's mind), they were intercepted by a large group of ponies walking up from the base. One of them broke from the herd and ran up to Dan. Dan had to be held back by Phoenix when they saw who it was.

"OH man, you guys, that was so freaking awesome!" George Washington the hippy pony exclaimed. "Dudes, like, seriously that was the most amazing thing I've ever seen... seriously."

Dan glared at the pony in front of him. The hippy was unaware of Dan's visible livid loathing, yet another reason why Dan hated the blissfully unaware peaceful hippies. "I regret saving the world now. If I knew THESE guys would survive... I probably would've waited five minutes."

"Ahh, I'm sorry, man. We got here as fast as we could," George said, mistaking Dan's hatred for disappointment with his late arrival. "We wanted to come help when we found out what you guys were doing for the environment, but when we saw the purple drank in the sky, man, some of us started wigging out, man. It was like I was on LSPJ again. Seriously, we were tripping major balls, man." Behind the hippy, several hippy ponies were playing with oversized rubber balls, the only way we could get away with this joke. Dan Vs. TMOF: 1, PC Censorship: 0

"LSPJ?" Phoenix asked, an action he would immediately regret when George replied,

"Liquid Smoke Poison Joke, my man. That stuff is heavy, dude, you gotta watch your dosages or you could be on a bad trip real quick."

"It's also illegal," Springer said, teeth gritted. "AND it causes air pollution which MY squad has to deal with!"

Dan looked over. "Minty! You hate hippies, too?"

She looked over to him, fuming. "Yes. They lay around all day, they do nothing but dance and... not-shower, they act like they know everything and they cause problems while complaining about others. Yes, I hate them! I hate ALL of them!" She grinned at Dan, "How about you and me just go to town on these guys? We got the weapons, let's just wipe them all off the face of this mountain right now."

"Woah woah woah," Dan said, "I already have a girlfriend, sweetheart, so just back off with that. I appreciate the gesture, really, I do, but this jerk is taken."

She shook her head. "What? I wasn't- how is that a suggestion to-"

"I SAID BACK OFF, FEMINAZI!"

George smiled and nodded, still completely oblivious. "Dudes, I'm sensing a lot of negative energy coming from you guys. You seriously need to mellow it out, get some good vibes flowing up in here. Let me burn a little incense and we can-"

"Uh, thanks George, but we're gonna pass on that," Phoenix said, now holding back both Dan and Springer. "We're just gonna head home now. I... you guys may not want to come with us." Dan and Springer both foamed at the mouth/muzzle.

The hippy pony bashfully batted away what he perceived was a compliment. "Aw, it's all good, man. But for real, we didn't come all this way for nothing. We've decided to honor you-"

"With the delicious taste of a Charleston Chew?" Fusey asked.

George shook his head. "Nope," he said, killing the Futurama reference. "We've decided to honor you with the world's largest electric didgeridoo!"

*WOB-WA-WA-WOB-WOB-WOB-WOBWOB*

"I've never thought of killing somepony with a giant didgeridoo before," Dan remarked. "That's so weird. I mean, I was detained in Australia all that time and the thought never occurred to me. That's just so weird."

"It is an electric didgeridoo, so the electricity gives us a lot of options to- wait, why am I thinking this?" Phoenix asked himself out loud. (It's really happening. I'm starting to think like him. And... I'm not afraid.)

"That's a good point, Nicky, but you also have to be careful when disassembling powered things," Dan added. "To be honest, I'm more of a fan of ironic weaponry, so the idea of shocking them all to death with it does come to mind, but I feel like we've done a lot with electricity already. Especially with Lightning Claw behind us."

Lightning Claw, however, with the immediate danger subsided, was focusing on other things. He looked among the hippies, some of them clearly families. He thought of his brothers and wondered where they were. He knew what he had to do next.

"So what are we going to do now?" Phoenix asked. "I vote against harming the hippies... in any way."

"I VOTE TURNING OFF THE DIDGERIDOO!" Blast Fuse said, hooves in her ears.

"Hey, that's not just any didgeridoo- it's the world's largest electric didgeridoo!"

*WOB-WA-WA-WOB-WOB-WOB-WOBWOB*

Dan clapped his hands. "Alright, listen up didgeridouchebags. I now own all of you and you will do exactly what I say."

One of the girl hippies rolled her eyes. "Ugfff, we are SO anti-possession, seriously." The concept of being a slave was completely lost on the mare. She disagreed with the concept of private ownership more, and the notion of losing her rights and being subservient was only tacky to her rather than a violation of her personal liberty.

"Like, you totally need to get with the times."

"Okay, that's it. KNIGHT! Front and center!" The colossal mechmare landed next to Dan. "Send 'em all to the Mormon Dimension! Make it snappy!"

"Hold on," Captain America said calmly, "I have an idea."

They all slowly turned to him. "Oh, this is gonna be good. What's your idea, Stevie?" Dan asked.

He rubbed his chin. "It's going to take all of us, but I know how to get us out of here. And it's going to take the world's largest electric didgeridoo."

*WOB-WA-WA-WOB-WOB-WOB-WOBWOB*