Fillydelphia
As Blueblood, Pinkie Pie, and Discord arrived at the metropolis, the former prince slowly trudged along the streets, panting heavily. Beads of sweat trickled down his snout “How much farther do we have to go until we reach the wretched little brat’s house?” He grunted as Discord hit him over the head with a rolled up newspaper “OW! What was that for?!”
Discord snapped his talons and a bar of soap suddenly appeared. He lowered his head down to look the stallion dead in the eyes “Next time I hear you speak of such dear little tikes like that again, I will wash your mouth out with this.” He showed the bar of soap.
“Ugh… who do you think you are? I’m not a child you moronic… MMMPH!” Blueblood was silenced without warning as Discord shoved the bar of soap into the former prince’s maw.
“I warned you Bluey, but typically you don’t ever listen!” Discord tsked as he started to scrub the soap against Blueblood’s teeth, along the inside of cheeks, and along his gum lines. After a couple more minutes, he took the bar of soap out of the stallion’s mouth “Do you have anything bad to say now?” He chuckled with a smirk.
“Pu..pu..pu! You imbecile!” Blueblood hacked on the soap as he looked around seeing a fountain nearby. He galloped over to it and plunged his head into the water, taking in huge gulps of water. He lifted head out to gasp in some air “Blasted creature!” He turned around to face Discord with his nostrils flaring.
“Ooh, touchy!” Discord crossed his arms as he turned toward Pinkie “So Pinkie, how much farther until we get to the cute little tyke’s house?” He twiddled his fingers as he looked at mare curiously.
Pinkie looked at the address she written down “1540 Saddleridge Way! We’re here!” She beamed with joy “Put on your party hats boys, we are about to make a lucky filly’s day with the Best… Birthday…. Bash… Ever!” She exploded up in the air like a firework causing Blueblood to jump at being startled.
For Aunt Celestia’s sake! If it won’t be of old age, this pink nightmare will certainly be the cause of my death. Blueblood shook his head, letting out a heavy sigh “Oh goody! This ought to be a jolly good time!” He mockingly threw his hoof in a jubilant manner.
Pinkie walked up to the door of the quaint looking home and knocked I hope they’re home and we didn’t come too late. She bit her lower lip nervously, but the door slowly opened “Yes who is it?” A light yellow coated mare with a sky blue mane and tail answered with a warm smile on her muzzle.
“Yes Ma’am, is this the home of the Mint Family?” Pinkie gave a hopeful smile that she was at the right place.
“Oh, yes it is! You must be Pinkie Pie, the party pony extraordinaire as spoken of in the ad in newspaper.” The mare extended a fore hoof “My name is Daisy Mint, my husband Jacques Mint is currently at work so he won’t be able to attend the party, and my daughter Sugary Mint is out back with her friends.” Daisy gave a warm smile.
Pinkie reached out her hoof to shake Daisy’s “It is a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Mint, and you are correct. I am Pinkie Pie, the best party pony planner in all of Equestria!” She let out a giggle as she gave a big grin “And I brought my two assistants with me today to help make this the best birthday party that your little filly has ever had!” She motioned toward Discord and Blueblood.
With a flick of his bearpaw, Discord appeared in front of Daisy suddenly wearing a tuxedo with top hat, with her hoof in his paw “Hello thou dear Madam, thy name is Discord, the marvelous and magnificent.” He gave a sly smile, wink, and kissed her hoof “Would a beautiful lady like yourself appreciate this?” With a snap of his talons, a pink rose appeared and he presented it to Daisy.
“Well, my aren’t you a charming fellow.” Daisy placed a hoof against her chest and accepted the rose “I thank you my good Sir.” She gave a warm smile as she carefully stepped outside and shut the door “Now if you three follow me, the party is just in the backyard.” She led the way.
“Alright boys, let’s go give this young filly and her friends the best darn birthday bash on this side of Equestria!” She screamed with joy as she starting to sing a happy tune to herself while skipping toward the backyard.
Oy vey, does this pony not have an off switch? Blueblood sighed heavily as he trotted toward the back, lugging the cart with all the party stuff on it.
In the backyard, there were a group of fillies and colts who were sitting at a couple picnic tables set out looking bored out of their minds. Pinkie frowned when she saw this but suddenly spoke up “Hello fillies and colts!” She cartwheeled to the seated children “I am Pinkie Pie, Equestria’s number party pony, and I am here for a special little filly’s special day!”
The kids started to clap their hooves together “It’s mine Miss Pinkie, it’s my birthday!” A red coated filly with blonde mane and tail waved her hoof excitedly “My name is Sugary Mint, and these are all my friends!” She motioned toward two colts and two fillies who were with her.
Pinkie beamed “Well, it is a great pleasure to meet you and your friends Sugary Mint.” She motioned to her own friend Discord “And this is…”
“Hello kiddies! I am the one, the only, the magical, the mysterious, and if I may add, quite dashing Master of Chaos, but fun chaos…” Discord waves his arm in front of his face covered by a cape “I am Discord!” He chuckled and with the snap of his talon, he magically made all of the party supplies on the cart appear on the picnic table in front of the young children’s eyes.
The colts and fillies gasped at the show of magic, but clapped excitedly “Oh that was so cool!” One colt exclaimed “Do some more Mister Discord, do some more!” Sugary looked up at the draconequus with a bright, hopeful smile.
Discord chuckled, reaching out to pat each them on the head “Don’t you worry little ones, there is plenty of magic to be performed.” He gave a wink as he snapped his paw causing Blueblood to vanish in a flash, and then reappear in a lion costume.
“WHAT IN TARTARUS?! WHAT DID YOU DO….MMPPH!” Discord silenced Blueblood by sealing his muzzle with an airtight muzzle yet with a few breath holes in it.
“Sorry kids, but the lion seems to be a little on edge.” Snapping his talon, the draconequus appeared in a lion tamer’s suit with a whip in his talon “But don’t worry boys and girls, Discord the great and fearless lion tamer shall get this beast under control.’ He chuckled as grinned mischievously at the helpless former prince.
“MMPH!” Blueblood muffled screamed as he shook his fore hooves frantically as he looked around for somewhere to run to. He turned to gallop away but was held by some sort of magical force, only to find out that Discord had him by the tail of the suit.
“Nuh uh, you aren’t going anywhere Bluey!” Discord held the tail tightly in his bearpaw as he turned to look over at the children “Hey kiddies, who would like to see this lion jump through a flaming hoop?” He snickered.
“I would, I would!” The group of young ones all cheered, raising their hooves enthusiastically with glee in their eyes to the dismay of Blueblood.
The stallion grunted, glaring angrily at Discord “Mph...Mph…Grr.” He was met with a sudden snap of the whip against his flank, causing him to leap into the air.
“Now then Bluey, get ready to put on a show for these little ones!” He snapped the whip near the former prince and with a snap of his paw a set of three rings surrounded with flaming hot, fiery flames appeared before Blueblood.
This is simply preposterous! Yet, if I don’t do what these buffoons order me to, then maybe I won’t ever be released from the dungeons of Canterlot. Blueblood seethed as the thought roamed through his mind, but he leaned back on his haunches, and took a powerful leap forward, passing through each ring of fire. As he landed on the ground he smiled triumphantly Haha.. I did it.. I shut those two idi…. Aaah!” He turned around to see that the backside of the suit was on fire, and he started to run around in circles.
“Uh oh kiddies, it looks like we have a fire to put out!” Pinkie gasped as she looked at the children who was all giggling at the sight. She quickly pulled out a fire extinguisher and aimed it at, releasing a stream of whipped cream all over Blueblood, extinguishing the flames. Pinkie chuckled “Nothing better to put out a fire than a fire extinguisher filled with sweet, delicious, yummy, freshly made whipped cream!” She licked at the nozzle.
Discord scratched his head, but clapped “Bravo my dear Pinkie Pie! That was certainly clever, wasn’t it kids?” The children giggled and clapped as they started to eat the birthday cake. “Now little ones, don’t forget to wash your cake down with some of Pinkie Pie’s super, duper, power punch!” He snapped his talon, making plastic cups appear filled with Pinkie’s Party Punch in front of the children.
With everyone distracted, Blueblood decided to make a break for it. He was weak to stand up, but was able to trot toward the gate, yet suddenly he felt himself being stopped ‘What in the…” He felt himself suddenly floating off the ground.
“Oh, you aren’t leaving already, are you Ol’ Bluey?” Discord gave a mock frown “The fun has just begun!” He chuckled as he levitated Blueblood back to the center of the yard and turned toward the kids “Hey kiddies, how would you like to play a game?”
“Oh I would… I would!” They were all raising their little hooves, gleefully cheering.
“Oooh, what kind of game do you have in mind Discord?” Pinkie looked at the draconequus intensely with a wide grin. She then looked up at Blueblood being held up by a large collection of different colored balloons, except only one was red,and it was in the center.”Ooh, hehe..haha… this is going to be fun!” She clapped her hooves.
“What the tartarus are you thinking of you neanderthal?!” Blueblood sneered as he futilely kicked his legs in the air “Let me down this instant!” He growled but was suddenly silenced with an apple in his maw “Mmph...mph!” He muffled angrily.
“Now my little tykes, the rules of this game is very simple. Just make sure you pop all of the balloons, except for the red one, because the red one is filled with something very unpleasant for our Ol’ Bluey boy.” He chuckled as he snapped his bear paw, making a pair of blowguns made of safety straws for the kids “You all can use these to shoot at the balloons. They are filled with marbles so to really make them go ‘POP’!” He exclaimed.
Pinkie grinned at the excitement the colts and fillies were showing “Oh this is the best sounding game I’ve ever heard of Discord!” She clapped her hooves as she looked at the kids “Alright little ones, on the count of three.. One…. Two…. Three… Fire!” She threw her foreleg down like a flag and the children started to fire their marbles.
“EEK!” Blueblood frantically started to kick his legs faster, but found himself held in some kind of aura “What is going on, why can’t I move?!” He looked down to see the kids shooting their marbles at him, some connecting with the balloons “Ow! Oo! Ee!” While some were connecting with his face and body.
“Pop! Pop! Pop!” One by one, each of the balloons was being popped causing Blueblood to approach the ground quickly “STOP THIS INSTANT YOU INSOLENT LITTLE MISCREANTS!” Blueblood sneered at the kids, causing them to freeze in fear at his anger.
Pinkie bit her lower lip nervously at seeing this, but then furrowed her brows “How dare you speak to such cutie little wittle ones, you big mean, meanie pants!” Pinky looked at her friend “Discord, give me a blowgun!” In a flash one appeared her hoof as she aimed it at the red balloon and shot her marble.
“SPLAT!” Suddenly a brown liquid poured out all over the former prince as he finally fell to the ground with a thud “EEK! What is this toxic mess?!”
Pinkie looked up at Discord curiously “Chocolate syrup?”
Discord simply twiddled his fingers “Well… um… not exactly.” He chuckled as he leaned down to the pink pony “Let’s just say it’s going to take a while for him to get the stench out of his mane and coat.” He chuckled.
The kids could smell the stench from their table “EW!” They said collectively as they placed their hooves over their muzzles.
“BLEGH!” Blueblood saw that he was covered in poop from whatever source it came from and snarled at Discord “YOU IDIOT!” He charged at the draconequus.
Discord pulled out a red matador cape “Toro, toro Ol’ Bluey!” He lifted it up once Blueblood reached him “Now kids, watch the Discord the Daring take this bull by the horns!” He waved the cape again “C’mon Bluey, you got to have more in you than that.” He chuckled as the stallion turned around and charged again, missing the cape again “Olay!” Discord smiled widely, earning a cheer from Pinkie and the kids.
Blueblood panted as he came to a slow halt “You imbecile! I’m going to make you wish you never was born!” He turned around with a scowl of anger on his face.
“Ooh, such big words from such a former pony of royalty.” Discord taunted as he sashayed around as he earned another cheer and giggle from the young party goers.
“That’s it!” Blueblood kicked the ground roughly with his fore hooves “It’s time to finish you!” He let out an angry snort and charged at Discord once again.
With the snap of his talon, Discord suddenly caught Blueblood in a wooden stockade “Ah.. I don’t think so Ol’ Bluey old pal.” The draconequus snickered as he patted Blueblood on the head.
“What?!” The stallion struggled to get out, but his forehooves and head was held firmly in place within the slots of the stockade. He grunted “GET ME OUT OF THIS DARN CONTRAPTION NOW YOU BUFFOON!” He kicked his hind legs wildly
Pinkie along with the kids started laughing hysterically “Oh, hoo...hoo.. This is so fun!” She exclaimed until a thought came to her mind “Oh I know what could make this even more fun kids.” She giggled as she turned to Discord “Discord, could you make some pies for us?” She giggled gleefully.
“Order of pies coming right up my dear pink one.” Discord snapped his bearpaw and in a flash a row of pies appeared before the kids.
“Oh, I know what we are going to do with these Miss Pinkie.” Sugary Mint grinned happily “We are going to throw them at that mean old mister, aren’t we?” She looked up at Pinkie hopefully.
With an exasperated nod “Indeedy little one!” Pinky held up her pie in her hoof “Now grab your pies kids.” They obliged as they each lifted their pies “Aim!” Pinkie aimed her pie at Blueblood along with the young ones “Fire!” Suddenly a wall of pies came flying toward the restrained, helpless Blueblood.
“NOO! AAH!” Blueblood felt the pies hit him from every direction, blueberry pies, strawberry pies, every kind of pie a pony could think of. After the onslaught of pies was over with, Blueblood spit out chunks of fruit and crust “Peh..peh.. This is beyond humiliating, this is… this is… Eh, forget it.” He lowered his head in shame.
Discord used his magic to get the stallion out of the stockade, but instead of letting him free, he sat him up on a plank above a pool of water. He looked toward the colts and fillies “Alright kids, how does the game of Bullseye sound?” He chuckled with a mischievous grin.
“Bullseye Mister Discord?” A colt looked at him quizzically as he looked over at Blueblood in his current position “Oh wait I’ve seen one of those before. It’s called a dunking booth.” The colt giggled happily.
“Ooh, another very awesome idea Discord!” Pinky rubbed her hooves together and passes out small sized baseballs to each colt and filly. She held a ball in her hoof as well “Instead of going by the regular rules little ones, I suggest we all throw our balls at the same time and see if one lands. How does that sound?” They all nodded happily and got ready to throw their balls.
Blueblood looked down at the pool of water, and then at the kids ready to throw their balls “Don’t you dare even think about it you little brats! If you do you will be ultimately puni...aaah!” Suddenly he felt the plank underneath him give way, and he went plummeting into the ice, cold water. He flailed in the water until he popped his head out “Bbrr! For the love of all Equestria, that is cold!”
“Don’t worry Bluey, I’ll warm it up for you.” Discord smirked as he snapped his talon, causing the cold water to suddenly start boiling like water in a cauldron. Discord snickered “Is that better Bluey buddy?”
“That feels more like it now. Than...YEOW!” Blueblood let out a yelp of pain, shooting out of the pool of boiling water and back onto the ground, skidding around on his flank.
“HAHAHA!” The kids, Pinkie Pie, and Discord all erupted with laughter at the embarrassed former prince.
Blueblood finally stood up with a deep scowl on his face “THAT’S IT! Aunt Celestia and Aunt Luna can lock me in the dungeon as long as they want! I rather spend eternity behind those cold wet bars than last one more day with you two simple minded, infantile twits!” He snarled heavily at Pinkie Pie and Discord.
“Aww… don’t be like that Bluey. I believe all you need is a hug.” Pinkie Pie bounced toward the stallion with her forelegs opened wide to embrace him.
“RRAGH!” Blueblood roared with annoyance “GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PINK MENACE!” He turned around and galloped away as fast as his legs could carry him.
“Was it something I said?” Pinkie shrugged her shoulders, but giggled happily “I knew this party would drive that mean, meanie pants insane.”
The kids giggled as Sugary Mint walked up to Pinkie Pie and hugged at her neck “Oh Miss Pinkie Pie, this has been the best birthday party I’ve ever had! Thank you so much!”
Pinkie Pie picked the filly up in her forelegs and twirled around “Aww.. don’t mention it you little wittle cutie! I always make sure my parties are never forgotten!” She nuzzled Sugary Mint’s cheek.
The rest of the colts and fillies surrounded her, hugging her. Then they turned their attention to Discord as they all ran up and tacked him “Thank you too Mr. Discord!” They said in unison.
Discord chuckled as the kids embraced him “Haha… of course little ones, Discord loves kids!” He patted each of them on the head.
Pinkie sighed happily as she watched the sight, but had a thought run through her mind I wonder who will be next to give Blueblood a fun time like Discord and I did today.
Meanwhile, Blueblood was frantically galloping through the streets of Fillydelphia, trying to get as far away from Discord and Pinkie Pie as he could. He finally stopped on the edge of the town, breathing heavily I can’t take no more. I have to find that child of Aunt Luna’s and apologize, because if I don’t.. I’d rather not think about it. I just know I can’t survive any longer with that pink parasite!