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// Another unnecessary epilog 
// Story: Not a romantic bone between them 
// by Natedogg2006 
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"Ok, spill it!"
     
"Spill what???" Applejack had been practicing her innocent eyes ever since they had first started dating, and though she was getting better Rainbow Dash still thought it looked more "deer in the headlights" then "I have nothing to hide". That wasn't to say that it didn't still work on her, fairly frequently, but that was not going to be the case tonight.
     
"Oh no, you said when we were done eating you'd tell me how you pulled this off. You can't avoid it forever." Rainbow Dash leveled a glare and accusatory hoof at her marefriend. 
     
"But what about dessert?????" She was deepening the attempt at the innocent eyes but that was only deepening Rainbow Dashes glare. "Ok, ok. I was just havin' fun with it. Truth is teasing y'alls about it was better than the actual story."
     
"How can that possibly be, this place has the best food in Equestria. They book like a year in advance. How the heck did you get the likes of US into THIS place."
     
Rainbow Dash gestured to their surroundings, she and Applejack sat across a small table from each other in a restaurant much above their usual standards. The stately decor was illuminated by dim candle light, everything in it as clean and white as the table cloth draped from their lone place in the room. It was a place neither would normally venture of their own free will. But having been there several months before with the other girls as personal guests of Princess Celestia they had gotten to try the food and had been attempting to get back in ever since. Unfortunately it seemed being escorted by a princess was just about the only way cultural black holes such as themselves were even allowed anywhere near the building.
     
"Ain't it kinda funny how we all always forget the whole, 'savior's of Equestria' thing."
     
"So you just had to mention the fact that we're both Elements of Harmony..... Dang, how did we never think of that before."
     
"It still wasn't that easy, that's just the only way I could figure ta' even get em' ta' talk ta' me." A waiter walked through a curtain and began collecting the plates they had only just managed to resist the urge to lick clean. "Now getting a private dining area, today of all days, that required name dropping all four princesses."
     
"Not your proudest moment I take it."
     
"Oh it made me feel dirty somethin' fierce." She looked down at her well cleared plates as the waiter picked them up in his dim gray magic. "Totally worth it."
    
"It was even worth getting dressed up for." Rainbow Dash said as she too watched their plates being collected longingly and allowed the slightest licking of her own lips. How Rarity had learned of their night out was still lost on Rainbow, but the fashionista had suddenly dragged both mares kicking and screaming to her boutique upon learning where they were going and that they were simply going to repurpose their gala dresses for the occasion. Thus both mares sat in brand new dresses, less elaborately made then their gala dresses but still fancier then they would normally be caught in, though Applejack had insisted that she be allowed some kind of hat, even if it was just a fancier version of what she was used to. The outfits were also designed to compliment each other, which Rarity insisted was a must and swore it did not break the rule they set early in their relationship that they would never do cutesy couple things like wear matching outfits. 
     
"Well that's a relief, I thought if anythin' could ruin this night it'd be that."
     
"Eh, it's not that bad. I may not like dressing up but it can be nice every now and then. Besides, I'm definitely enjoying the view it provides," Rainbow Dash's voice dropped into a more sultry tone as she hungrily eyed her marefriend.
     
Returning the sultry tone Applejack responded, "I'd say you're looking extra awesome yer'self".
     
"Don't I know it," Rainbow gives a cocky smirk.
      
"Eh-hem..." Neither mare realized the waiter had long since cleared the table and had returned holding a bottle to refill their glasses. Snapped out of their moment both mares offered their glasses with just a slight trace of a blush crossing their features. "Your desserts will be out momentarily". He gave a slight knowing smile to the both of them as he took his leave.
     
Their slight embarrassment already forgotten the two turned back to each other with half lidded eyes. "Well I suppose nows about the right time for some kinda toast." Rainbow Dash only smiled at her marefriends sudden corniness. "Happy Hearts and Hooves day"
     
A slight blush and a deep smile graced Rainbow Dash's face for a second before she responded, "Happy Hearts and Hooves day." They both lifted their glasses to their lips and took a drink. The moment, the mood, everything was perfect.... Until Rainbow Dash suddenly seemed to almost choke on her drink. Coughing slightly she struggled to get her composure as Applejack slowly lowered her glass and looked at her marefriend with a knowing smirk. "Wait just a second," Rainbow finally managed to hack out, "when the hey did this get so serious."
     
Very noticeably and deliberately AppleJack put her innocent eyes back into effect and oh so sweetly replied "what do you mean sweetie?" She even batted her eyelashes a little for emphasis. Far from being taken aback by Rainbows sudden outburst, Applejack had been more or less expecting it and was only having a hard time not laughing at how long it had taken to hit the oblivious pegasus. 
     
"Don't sweetie me... And when did you start calling me... I mean, dresses, and table cloth, and, and...." This went on for some time, Rainbow randomly babbling about things she suddenly realized seemed off and attempting to get her racing brain in line so she could gesture to them in some kind of matching way that would get her point across. Applejack only watched, innocent expression unchanging as her tongue was tightly pressed between her teeth inside her mouth to keep her innocent expression unchanging. Finally taking a second to breathe and focus her brain Rainbow Dash tried again. "What I mean is... We don't do big date couple stuff, or at least I guess we didn't use to. We aren't fancy. We just like hanging out, having fun, and being together. When did we become like a legit, romantic couple."
     
The confusion was written plainly all over her face, with just a little distress added as well. She was clearly a little freaked out, but more so she didn't know why or if she actually should be freaking out, and that was freaking her out the most. Applejack could tell she needed to comfort her marefriend.... but she was enjoying this way too much. "Now sweetheart, y'all just need ta' calm down. I really don't know what y'all think the problem is. The way I see it is you been just about the sweetest marefriend I could ever ask fer' since the first day we got together."
     
"That is a lie and you know it." Rainbow Dashes survival instincts being very... let's say, primal in nature, quickly transitioned her from freaked out to slightly hostel and angry at a situation she didn't quite understand how she got into. "We were never supposed to be good marefriends, in fact we were supposed to be the worst. You were supposed to dump me in less than a week then I was gonna make you buck apples all day as a clown. You planned this fancy, but I'll admit,  nice date so you gotta know. When did we become real marefriends."
     
Applejack seemed to stare deeply off into space, she even tapped her hoof against her chin to make her look the part of somepony who was really considering a question. What she was actually doing was watching her marefriends tension build out of the corner of her eye to try to time perfectly how long before Rainbow Dash flipped out and got them kicked out of the restaurant. "....., ..... Hummmmm.....," Rainbow Dash's eye twitched, "....., Well,.....," Double twitch, final alarm had sounded, break down imminent, do it now..... Ok maybe a little more. " ....., ..... I'd say probably 'round the time you went ahead and stayed with me the whole night when I went to go see Appleblooms school play when I could tell you really wanted to ditch it." Applejack flashed a very genuine smile to her marefriend as Rainbow Dashes tension immediately broke and was replaced by embarrassment.
     
Rainbow Dash remembered the night very well. She remembered the dread of the uncomfortable folding chairs, the impending boredom of badly acted skits she would have to pretend to like, the stuffy auditorium filled with way to overenthusiastic parents making a big deal out of the whole thing. But looking back at her memories of the actual night and not just her expectations of it she found that what she actually remembered was how comfy Applejacks shoulder could be, how that position allowed her easy access to whisper a quip about the various performances into Applejacks ear for them to snicker together about, how much she liked the smell of her marefriends mane, and wondering if she could make her lose her cool if she were to reach up and start nibbling.....
     
Shaking her head Rainbow managed to get the memory to stop playing. "That...., .... Does not count." Feeling the question coming she quickly tried to come up with a reason why that did not count. "..... Scootaloo had a skit in that too, she asked me to come even before you did."
     
"I never asked y'all ta' go with me. Ya just sorta started following when I said it was time for the play. Also, Scootaloo's skit was second, Applebloom's was third ta' last. Y'all coulda' skipped out real easy, but ya didn't."
     
Rainbow Dash may be fast but coming up with a timely counter to that argument was not happening. She only managed to grumble random things under her breath to the tune of "whatever", and "element of loyalty".
     
"Just so ya' know, Applebloom was touched when you stayed to see her. She's been callin' y'all her other big sis ever since." Applejack reached across the table and took Dash's hoof in hers while giving her a genuine smile. "I thought it was a bit touchin' too."
     
Rainbow Dash started smiling before she realized it, then noticed the situation she was in and let out about half a groan. "And when did you get so touchy feely and mushy." Despite her apparent resistance to the gesture she did not pull away, in fact she actually realized she was instinctively caressing back.
     
Feeling the slow build had been over used at this point AppleJack dropped the next bomb on Rainbow with no ceremony for maximum effect. "I'd say round about our first roll in the hay," she said in a lower, slightly sultry tone as she leaned closer for Dash to hear.
     
That memory started playing on overdrive. A night being bored after a light training session, boredom leading to some competitive rounds of hoof wrestling, which led to some competitive rounds of actual wrestling, which led too.....
     
Rainbow Dash had to shake her head extra hard to get the memory to stop playing this time around. "..... Okay I'll give you that one." Rainbow Dash busied herself with nudging her wine glass absentmindedly as she thought about all she had just realized was going on in her life. Her go with the flow attitude did tend to get her in weird situations from time to time, but this had to be the weirdest by far. She was not strictly speaking mad about the situation, in fact there was a warmth in her chest when she thought about it that she rather liked and that she was realizing had been there for some time now. She was however annoyed that Applejack had seemingly gotten the biggest drop on her imaginable, much bigger than any she had ever gotten on the smugly smiling farmer. She was currently just searching for some way to turn the tables on her marefriend in some way to save some kind of face. A thought suddenly crossed her mind and she stopped nudging her glass and instead took it in her hoof. Dawning a smug, cocky smile she swirled the glass around as she finally managed a counter attack. "Well, guess that means I win then." 
     
Applejack was only slightly taken aback by how quickly her marefriend had recovered. She quickly switched back to her bad attempt at innocent eyes and responded, "win what now sugar cube?"
     
Swirling her glass even more smugly Rainbow responded, "don't even try that. You know exactly what I'm talking about. We each said that we'd be the worse marefriend, and considering you're the one going through all this trouble and I just barely realized that this is a serious relationship I'd say that means I win. For all you know up until now I could have thought this was casual enough to be getting action on the side"
     
"Hummmm, can I trust that the element of loyalty wasn't going around and being disloyal behind my back.... I honestly think I can."
     
"Say what you will, but it won't change the fact that you are the much better marefriend and therefore I won the bet," she finally stops swirling her glass and took a long, cocky, victory swig as Applejack looked on.
     
Seeing an opportunity while her marefriend was busy congratulating herself, Applejack reached under her hat and produced a small black box. "Actually, tonight was all about declaring myself the winner of that particular bet."
     
Readying some manner of comeback as she turned back to her marefriend Rainbow Dash suddenly found all words caught in her throat, as well as all oxygen. Her thankfully now empty glass fell to the thankfully soft table cloth as slight wheezing sounds came from her mouth as she tried to respond. "A-A-Apple Jack.... i-is that what I think it is?" Her vision was definitely not getting blurry with tears as she tried to focus on the small band adorned with both their cutie marks being held in a box in the hooves of the mare she loved. 
     
"Now who's the one gettin' all sentimental and mushy." Though she wanted to smile smugly, all she could manage was a genuine one that reached down from her heart.
     
"Shut up and put it on me you jerk." Rainbow Dash smiled from the heart as well as she definitely did not wipe tears of joy from her face as she extended her other hoof. 
     
AppleJack was all too happy to oblige as she rounded the table and, down on one knee slipped it on the hoof of her definitely not crying fiancee before rising up and connecting their lips. 
     
     
At some point the waiter arrived to find both mares seated on the same side of the table, leaning up against each other so they could sneak kisses onto the others cheek whenever they felt like it. Being that they had the room to themselves the waiter had no problem with this and left their congratulatory bottle of champagne and their desserts for them and quickly gave them their privacy. Their position did not change as they ate their sweet treats, randomly sharing back and forth. The moment, the mood, everything was perfect.... Then a thought occurred to Dash that nearly made her bite the spoon in her mouth in half.
     
"A-Applejack..."
     
"Yes sugar cube."
     
"You know I love you right?"
     
"I recon' I got some idea of that," she said as she rubbed her own hoof over the band on Dash's hoof.
     
"But I mean... You know I like, really really love you right."
     
"Uh-huh," she planted a small kiss on her temple.
     
"Soooooo, I just had to ask. If I do lose the bet,.." 
     
"Which ya' do."
     
"Well, we were playing it by normal rules, which usually means public humiliation... And since you asked me... Does that mean I'm the one who's gonna wear the dress?"
     
"....., ....."
     
"....., Apple Jack?"
     
"Rarity is already designing it. She says she's already tripled her usual order of frills and she's still gonna need more."
     
"....., And there's no way you'd let me take back my 'yes' is there."
     
"I already told Granny Smith we was gettin' hitched, y'all wouldn't make me a liar would ya'?." Another soft kiss on the side of her face.
     
"....., ....., ....."
     
"Dash?"
     
"You realize I have a whole life time to get you back for this right."
     
Taken slightly aback by this Applejack fed her future wife some more of her dessert before replying, "looking forward to it..." She got this out just before Dash shoved a bite of her own into her mouth and gave her a sloppy kiss on the lips, the mixture still not as sweet as the feeling between the two.