Yours truly wants you to ask yourself, "Wouldn't it be nice to take a break? Wouldn't it be nicer if that break was TOTALLY RAD AND FULL OF LIGHTNING?!"
Potential movie spoilers ahoy!
“Hey, you!” a familiar minotaur points his finger directly at the TV screen, staring intently at whoever is on the other side.
“Me?!” Grubber asks, being one of many whoevers in this case, as he brings a hand up to his chest in surprise.
Sitting next to Grubber on a big blue couch, Fizzlepop lets out a heavy sigh. “Grubber, it’s just a trick.”
“Yes, you!” the minotaur stresses as he points even more emphatically.
“I’m pretty thure he’s talking about me, Tempest!”
Tempest simply rolls her eyes as the minotaur motions behind him to the deck and bow of a large zeppelin. “YOU deserve an air cruise!”
Grubber gleefully gasps. “I was juth thinking that!”
Fizzlepop’s forehead knit as she stared upwards- as if silently cursing her fate.
Sitting across the couch next to Trixie, Starlight lets out a derisive “Hah! Deserve it for what?! Eating the castle out of its cake stocks and opening doors for Fizzlepop?! Not to mention your recent attempt to overthrow Equestria WITH previously mentioned associate!”
Fizzlepop leans forward and glares daggers at Starlight as the jagged edges of her horn send off a few errant sparks. Growling out a warning.
“All right, Ms. Pot,” Spike utters sarcastically from an easy chair he’s sharing with Twilight, the pair snuggled up on with a big bucket of popcorn in front of them. Twilight shoots a quick unamused glance at Starlight before returning her gaze to the TV with concern.
“You know Grubber does more than just open doors for me, right?” Fizzlepop snarls out.
Starlight nods with a smug smirk, “I believe I already mentioned his cake eating prowess.”
“Hah!” Trixie exclaims. “Good one!” she adds as she and Starlight share a quick hoof bump.
Grubber licks his lips. “I do have great cake skills… Eating, not baking though.”
“Not helping,” Fizzlepop utters in an irritated tone.
The minotaur speaks up, “Iron Will is certain you’ve had enough free time to consider how much you deserve a cruise as he stood here quietly and patiently waiting. Iron Will will now continue talking about the cruise you deserve!” As he says this, the camera zooms out to reveal more of the zeppelin. The structure around its gas bag has been painted red and black and the front bowsprit, once pointing off towards the front, has be roughly broken like it was snapped off.
“Ouch!” Starlight exclaims jokingly. “The design of that zeppelin is so sharp that I think I cut myself on the edge!”
“I know!” Trixie agrees. “It could really use some purple… and some yellow and light blue stars.”
Fizzlepop smiles at the screen. “I kinda like it…”
Starlight rolls her eyes. “You would…”
“Now Iron Will asks you, what’s the best part about conquering?!”
“Complete control!” Starlight blurts out.
“The forced adoration of those you’ve enslaved!” Trixie adds.
“All the free food!” Grubber chimes in.
“The chance at becoming whole again no matter what the cost!” Fizzlepop calls out excitedly.
From her chair, Twilight let’s out an exasperated groan as a grinning Spike stands up to whisper in her ear, a devious smile on his face. “You know… If some sort of couch-based accident were to happen right now, we’d eliminate a lot of previous and still potential threats to Equestria’s safety… I mean.. one errant flame and whoosh…” Spike spread his claws out in front of him and wiggled them to signify fire.
“Spike!” Twilight shrieked. She took quick note that now all eyes were on her and Spike and she bent down her muzzle to whisper to him. “That’s awful! How could you even suggest such a thing?!” Twilight put on her own dark smile. “Let’s give them another few weeks to get their act together.”
“Point of order, Twilight?” Trixie says. “We all know ‘evil smiles’ when we see them.”
“Yeah,” Grubber chirps, “plenty of experience seein’ ‘em and practicing in the mirror, you know?”
Spike and Twilight give the couch occupants sheepish smiles. “Sorry…” Twilight says. “Just a little joke…”
Starlight returns Twilight’s smile with a less apologetic one. “Look, if you need to scheme, just excuse yourselves and do it outside the room next time.”
“Uh… Okay?!” Twilight replies in surprise.
Spike shakes his head slightly. “You brought this on yourself, Book Horse,” he quips before shoving a load of popcorn in his mouth.
“Iron Will is certain the time he quietly gave you was spent coming up with an answer! But the correct answer is, villains!”
A series of nods and a murmur of understanding sounds of agreement waft from the couch.
Twilight narrows her eyes at the whole display. “If you’ll excuse Spike and I—”
Spike holds up a claw. “Just a sec, Twi.” He points towards the screen. “I want to see where this is going!”
Iron Will suddenly jumps up onto his zeppelin, grabbing the top edge of the deck and flinging himself over with one arm. “And who’s the coolest villain to have threatened Equestria ever?!”
Trixie throws her forehooves up in the air. “The Grrrrrrreeaaat and Powerful Trrrrrrrixie!”
Twilight sighs heavily rolls her eyes. “You never threatened all of Equestria, Trixie! Given the time of year, the answer is probably Nightmare Mo—”
“Rarity!” Spike exclaims.
Twilight glowers down at the dragon.
Spike shrugged. “What? Her nightmare form was smokin’!”
Starlight chuckles to herself before she turns back towards the screen. Iron Will is waiting patiently and grinning at the audience as she takes in the whole of the zeppelin. Her smile fades as she focuses once more on the color scheme and her eyes go wide as they take note of the broken bow. A little “No” escapes her lips as Grubber and Tempest exchange small, but devious grins between them and Grubber rubs his hands together in anticipation
“Iron Will is sure you’ve come up with an answer right now! The correct answer is ‘Tempest Shadow’!” Iron will announces as he pulls a cord, unleashing a giant banner painted with Fizzlepop’s scowling countenance.
“Cha-Ching!” Grubber announces victoriously as he pumps his fist into the air.
Groaning, Starlight buries her face in her forehooves.
“There, there,” Trixie says as she pats Starlight on the back. “Trixie is disappointed it wasn’t her as well…”
Fizzlepop simply stares at the TV with a satisfied smile on her face. “Well, looks like a job for my attorney.”
Starlight uncovers her face and stares at Fizzlepop quizzically. “You have an attorney?!”
Grubber raises a hand. “Yo!” he says simply.
Fizzlepop volleys the quizzical look back in Starlight’s direction. “You don’t?”
Twilight regards the display on the couch with an increasingly unamused expression as her forehead sinks lower and lower over her eyes. “On second thought. Spike, light ‘em u—”
‘KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!’
The group collectively pauses as the castle practically shakes from the booming rhythmic impacts delivered to its front door.
Twilight sighs and steps off the easy chair. “I’ll get it…”
Exchanging glances again, Tempest and Grubber likewise get off the couch and follow behind Twilight. Soon, everyone is out of their seats and leaving the room to the sound of Iron Will shouting, “So pick up your ticket and pay us a visit!” He turned to someone off camera. “Wait, who wrote that one? Was that you Bill? I mean… not going to lie, that was a half-rhyme.”
Twilight arrives at the door shortly thereafter, a small group of the castle’s other occupants behind her.
With a magenta glow of her horn, Twilight cracked open one of the massive double doors to her home, an all-too-familiar grinning face of a minotaur greeting her on the other side. “Ah, well if it isn’t Princess Twilight Sparkle, my old partner!”
“Partner?!” Twilight scoffs and narrows her eyes at the minotaur. “You’ve got a lot of guts coming here after what you pulled!”
“Princess Twilight, I’ll handle this,” Fizzlepop says as she trots up beside the alicorn princess.
Iron Will’s face lights up. “Judging by your cool facial scar and broken horn, you must be the infamous Tempest Shadow!”
Twilight growled. “Her name is Fizzlepop Berrytwist! And she’s not intere—”
Fizzlepop gives Twilight a slight nudge with her shoulder. “I said I’d handle it, Twilight.”
“Oh… Okay…” Twilight replies in an unsure tone. “Just try to fix this with without violence…” She glares up once more at Iron Will. “Though, I’m strongly considering to urge you otherwise…”
“Now, now…” Iron Will holds up his hands defensively in front of him. “We’re all reasonable creatures here!”
Fizzlepop narrows her eyes and smirks up at Iron Will. “Actually, most of us have participated in some form of conquering or another so… No, we’re not.” Fizzlepop punctuates this statement with a few spitting sparks from her horn.
Standing behind Fizzlepop, Grubber snickered menacingly.
“Uh…” Iron Will took a few steps back.
“Remember what I said about violence!” Twilight says hastily. “Remember that it’s a last resort!”
Starlight smiles smugly to herself. “And of course she loses it right away…” She shakes her head. “There’s a pony who just overreacts with about every little thing she does!”
“Hah! I know, right!” Trixie exclaimed. “No matter how many second chances might prance into some ponies’ life, they just can’t help but botch them.”
A deep, deep frown set on Spike’s face, almost as if his lips and forehead sank in an attempt to hit the ground and start digging away from this conversation. “Every time you two talk about Fizzlepop, I grow dumber. Like, a bunch of my brain cells just decide ‘suicide pact’ and pop their cyanide capsules.”
Fizzlepop turns to fix the ponies behind her with a small glower. “I’m quite certain we can address this without violence.”
“You are?!” gasps out the trio of ponies.
A wicked smile dances across Fizzlepop’s lips like lightning flickering amongst a roiling storm. “Oh, I have something much better in mind.”
Grubber rubs his hands expectantly.
Iron Will takes another step back and glances behind him as if he’s considering he should simply get a running start as Spike and the other three ponies began passing back and forth concerned glances.
“Grubber?” Fizzlepop says simply.
Grubber steps forward and clears his throat. “My client wants 50% of all merchandi’the and all cruise ticket profiths.”
“Huh?!” the ponies and Spike exclaim.
Iron Will’s draw drops. “Fi-fifty?! That’s outrageous!”
Grubber continues, “She also will require the zeppelins largetht suite for her use, the use of her attorney, and any guesths she desires to bring with her. She, her attorney, then her guesths also get to be firth in line for all buffet style meals, in that specific order. Any and all activities she’s asked to participate in require her, and her attorney’s review and expressed approval. She will also receive 50% of all profiths from said activities.”
“Iron Will does not agree to these terms!” Iron Will said angrily.
Fizzlepop grinned wickedly. “Too bad. You should have consulted with me before setting up your little cruise. Had you been upfront, we could have negotiated a different percentage.” Her smile fell. “But because this has come to my attention after you’ve used my likeness for advertising purposes, your choices are give me 50% or give me 100% after I drag your non-existant ‘consent and release for use of likeness’ contract having flank to court and my attorney here eats you alive!”
Grubber grins widely as he gnashes his teeth.
Iron Will lets out a defeated, grumbling hum. “Ver-ee well! You bargain hard, I’ll see you at my shipyard, Ms. Berrytwist!” He says as he extends a hand.
Smiling victoriously, Fizzlepop extends a forehoof and allows Iron Will to shake it. “Please… Call me Tempest. Anyhow, I’ll have my attorney pen up a contract.” Tilting her head slightly, Tempest shouts out, “Hey, Starlight. Trixie… You two want to go on a cruise were everypony celebrates you for the bad things you’ve done?”
Starlight’s eyes shot open widely. “What?! Of course we d—”
“DO WE?!” Trixie exclaims enthusiastically. “Of course we do!” She began to dance giddily in place. “Why, Trixie can do her own shows on the Zeppelin!”
“Hey!” Iron Will protested. “Iron Will did not agree to additional activi—”
Tempest raises a forehoof. “Are you about to tell me you’re going to protest to additional activities thrown by more villains on your cruise that you get to pitch as bonuses, but also sell as exclusive attractions you can charge additional fees for? Of which my friends get a share of the profits of course.”
Iron Will’s eyes suddenly fire open wide as the sound of a slot machine hitting jackpot rings in his head. “Iron Will sees your point… And also money signs… Mostly money signs.”
“Now wait just a minute here!” Twilight fumes.
Starlight smiles knowingly as Trixie lets out a heavy sigh. “And here comes Princess Buzzkill to ruin the day!” Trixie says.
Tempest turns to look at Twilight, a bit surprised and disconcerted at the outburst. “I’m sorry, Twilight. Did you wish to come? It wasn’t my intention to exclude you or Spike.”
Spike shakes his head. “I really doubt that’s the problem, Fizzlepop.”
“You’re dang right I want to come!” Twilight explodes.
“... Buuuuut Twilight is full of surprises!” Spike says, his eyes widening.
Starlight’s smile drops.
“I never got to do all the fun things I wanted to my last Zeppelin trip!” Twilight moans. She glances around. “Also, I should probably keep an eye on my friendship students… or some other excuse that sounds sufficiently friendshippy… or not…” Twilight suddenly puts on a slightly askew smile. “I don’t really care!”
Iron Will gives Twilight a scrutinizing look. “Well, Iron Will does maybe owe you, but I you’re not exactly ‘on brand’ for this cruise, Princess.”
Fizzlepop narrows her eyes. “My attorney did state I could bring whomever I desire.”
“Yeah!” Grubber exclaimed. “Either bow down to my power of attorney or pay the price!”
“I got this, Fizzlepop, Grubber” Twilight says as she looks at both Tempest and Grubber in turn. She looks towards Iron Will, her mulberry eyes meeting Iron Will’s yellows. “You know, I feel a sudden desire to vaporize a zeppelin. How’s that for villainous?”
Starlight gasps as an approving smile spreads across Tempest’s lips.
“Oh, yeah!” Grubber cheers, “Princess power!”
“Huh… Well, Trixie is impressed,” Trixie admits.
“I am too!” Spike says. “But I feel it’s a very different type of impressed from yours.”
Iron Will gulps. “Uh… The more the merrier! Welcome to my carrier, Princess Twilight!”
“Oh please,” Twilight replies with a practically pitch black smile, “call me ‘Midnight’.” She turns and starts to trot back into the castle. “Come on, Spike. We’ve got packing to do. I’m thinking we grab a bunch of suitcases and haphazardly toss whatever we feel we might need in them. And we don’t even document what item goes into which suitcase! Muahahahahaha!”
Spike begins to run after Twilight. “But what about all your Princess duties?!”
“I’m being evil, Spike!” Twilight exclaims. “So… buck ‘em!”
“… Yeah! Radical!” Spike exclaims. “Ah’m digging this new ‘tude of yours, Twi! Or shall I say ‘Midnight Sparkle’!”
“You shall, Spike! You shall!”
Both Princess and dragon let loose a cackling laugh that echoes throughout the castle hallways.
Noises of giddy excitement exit from Trixie as she once again prances in place. “I need to pack up all my gear! Come on, Starlight!” she calls out as she races down the castle steps.
“But…!” Starlight lets out a defeated groan and begrudgingly begins her march down the castle steps.
Alone with her Grubber and Iron Will, Tempest motions for Iron Will to follow her into the castle. “Shall we three discuss some other ideas we have inside? We may not look like it, but Grubber and I have lots of experience with marketing.”
Iron Will rubs the back of his head. “Well… Iron Will supposes it only makes sense to discuss the changes to my villain’s cruise.”
Grubber clears his throat again. “Your cruise?!”
“Iron Will apologizes, he meant to say ‘our’ cruise.”
“Tha’th right you did!” Grubber exclaims.
Tempest smiles darkly at Iron Will. “Now you’re getting it…” She and Grubber turn and the three walk inside.
“So,” Tempest begins, “what are your thoughts on the Storm King? I mean… He certainly has villain market potential. Maybe there’s room for a life-size statue of him on the deck?”
“Er… Well… Iron Will likes the idea, but It’s a bit short notice.” Iron Will stroked his chin for a moment. “Iron Will doubts he could commission a statue built in this short of time, but Iron Will does have several crates of Storm King actions figures he hoped to sell on the cruise.”
Tempest shook her head. “No, no commission necessary. Just a lot of glue!”