//------------------------------// // 2 - The Jester // Story: Batman vs. Batmare // by Octavia_Melody //------------------------------// Hemline and the dock workers were rounded up and processed at the Manehattan Police Department. Her confinement did not last long as she had connections with Mayor Mane, mayor of Manehattan, and was soon out on bail. The next day, Hemline met with Seaworthy, owner of Whaletale Wharfs in her office to discuss what was to become of her drug shipments. Seaworthy was a gruff grey stallion with an even greyer beard who always wore a yellow rain hat regardless of the weather. "Today Manehattan, tomorrow Equestria! That was the plan!" Hemline fumed, "Now the public knows everything! You have to make this disappear." "What do you expect me to do?" Seaworthy said, "This operation wasn't my idea." "Ship all of the remaining Smile out tomorrow." Hemline advised, "Dump it if you have to, as far away from Manehattan as possible, perhaps Saddle Arabia." "It will cost you triple what you were paying me, miss." Seaworthy said. "I'll pay you six times what you're worth if you can cover up this mess!" Hemline barked, "Oh and one more thing, find somepony who can 'take care' of Miss Pommel. The last thing I need is a guilt-ridden stool pigeon." "Guilt-ridden, you say? Stool pigeon?" a manic, if soft and familiar, voice spoke up, "Why, Miss Hemline, whatever do you mean?" "Miss Pommel..." Hemline stammered, "Is that you?" Coco was now decked out in a purple jester's outfit, complete with jingling bell cap and a certain golden scepter that had her own head sculpted on the tip. Her face was still Rari-white and it looked like she had stitched her wounds back together herself, giving her face a gruesome patchwork grin. "Call me Jester." the "Jester" announced. "You look ridiculous." Hemline said, "You've always had horrible sense in fashion. What a clown." "A clown? That's the idea." Coco continued, "That vat was full of pure, unprocessed Smile. Now I'm always smiling! Smile, smile, smile!" "Let's not turn this into a musical number." Hemline advised, "What do you want?" "What do I want?" Coco said as she menacingly trotted forward, "I want the same thing you want. To share smiles with everypony! Let's start with you, I don't think I've ever seen you smile, Miss Grumpypants." "Actually, Miss Grumpypants is my cousin in Las Pegasus." Hemline explained, "I'm not going to take Smile pills. If there's one rule I've learned it's never get high on your own supply." "You won't have to take the pills, because Smile is a real gas." Coco explained as a green vapor shot out from the mouth of the "Coco-cane". Hemline and Seaworthy couldn't help but breath in the gas and started laughing uncontrollably. "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" they both screamed, "HA-HA-HA-HA! Please stop...can't stop laughing...HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!" "I'm not that funny." Coco mused, "Anyway, this cute little Coco-cane is nothing more than a small fog machine. All I had to do was mash some Smile pills into it and it concentrates into a vapor. Of course, it also has a much stronger effect. I call it Smile-Smile-Smile. Naturally, I'm immune." "No...musical....numbers..." Hemline begged before her lips curled and froze into a hideous permanent grin, as did Seaworthy's. Both ponies died from instant overdose, their faces petrified smiles. Coco giggled as she trotted over to them. "Look out, Manehattan! Here comes Coco!" Coco shouted in twisted glee, "No wait, how bout, 'Jester's back in town!'. But I'm not actually back...Let's try, 'This town needs a colonoscopy!' No...I've got it! 'Let's make Equestria great again!' That's it!" Later that evening, Suri found herself entering the Fashion Plaza auditorium, the same auditorium in which she had attempted to take credit for Rarity's designs. She could have almost sworn that she saw Coco Pommel gallop past her on the street and she had followed the mare inside. The auditorium was dark without the lights on and Suri could scarcely see in front of her. "Coco!" she called out, "Coco! Are you in here?! Look, I'm sorry, m'kay! I'm sorry for the way I treated you! Just let me see you!" All of a sudden, a bright beam of light shot across Suri's face and floated onto the center of the stage. A lone mare trotted out onto the stage as the spotlight focused on her. Coco was now dressed in a black-and-white striped mime's shirt and beret. She had also painted a black teardrop on her face. "Coco? Is that you?" Suri questioned. Coco nodded her head and processed to do rope tricks with an invisible lasso. She then mimicked throwing the lasso with her hooves and Suri felt an invisible rope tighten around her waist as Suri began to pull her up onto the stage. "Coco? You can do magic?" Suri asked. "Wrong!" Coco shouted, now nose-to-nose with Suri, "Oops. Mimes aren't supposed to speak. Anyways, it's invisible paint. See? I mean, don't see?' Coco then kicked an open paint bucket at Suri and the mare was splashed all over with invisible paint, most of her body becoming completely transparent. Only a few blotches of her pink fur remained. "What have you done?!" Suri yelped, "I can't see myself!" "New supervillain, Invisi-mare!" Coco suggested, "We can be partners in crime!" "Supervillains?" Suri questioned. "Or maybe because of the way you treated me I'll just set you on fire." Coco pondered, "Invisible paint is flammable. Inferna-mare!" Coco produced a small matchbox and lit one of the matches. "No wait! Please!!" Suri begged. "I always thought you were kind of hot." Coco admitted, flicking the match toward Suri. "NOOOO!!" Suri screamed, just as she felt something swoop down and pull her up into the air. Suri shrieked as she found herself face to face with the "bat creature" who now had her in his arms and had wrapped his grapping hook around the top spotlight beams. Batman extended his cape and glid safely down onto the floor, placing the quasi-visible Suri down and fleeing. "Wait! Let me see your face, m'kay!" Suri called out, chasing after Batman. By this time, the stage was on fire due to the flammable paint residue and even Coco was feeling the heat. "I'm not really...feeling the burn." she quipped as she galloped out of the building after Suri. Outside, a growing crowd of citizens gasped as they noticed smoke rising. They also noticed a blurry bat-man run by, as well as a running pair of legs with nothing attached, as Suri was still half covered in paint. Suri noticed an open sewer cover in the road and climbed down the hole. As much as she hated too, Suri splashed sewer water on herself and began to wipe away the rest of the paint until she could see herself in the water's reflection. "Invisible paint." she noted, "I need to remember that trick." Suri continued to make her way down the dank sewer, but noted it was well lit by swarms of lightning bugs. She could faintly hear the sound of running ahead of her. "M'kay...bat...man!" she shouted, "I know you're down here! Maybe I can help you!" Suri walked deeper into the sewer and gasped as she felt someone grab her. Batman placed a hand over her mouth and whispered into her ear. "I'm going to let go. Promise you won't scream." he said. Suri nodded and Batman let her go. She coughed a bit from the sewer water and cleared her throat. "I'm Suri Polomare, m'kay." she announced, "You are the bat man?" "I'm Batman." Batman said, "Do you have any idea what this place is or how I got here?" "This is the city of Manehattan, m'kay." Suri explained, "Hundreds of ponies live here. It's part of Equestria, the land where we ponies live, m'kay. You're a...human...right? I thought you were just a myth." "And I thought talking animals were just a myth." Batman said, "I figured that this was all just a dream, but now I can't wake up.' "Why did you save me?" Suri asked, "How did you know I was there?" "I've been tracking that one pony since last night. The one that looks like..." Batman replied, "I just happened to find you with her." "That used to be Coco Pommel." Suri said, "She was my former assistant, m'kay. I was mean and abusive toward her and now I'm trying to make up for it, but somehow she turned into that...clown." "That was my fault." Batman admitted, "I was at the wharf last night, looking for answers. I tried to take down a drug ring out of sheer habit. That pony was caught up in it." "I know." Suri said, "I was there. Follow me, m'kay." Suri lead Batman deep into the sewer, where it trailed off into a bat-infested cave. Bats swarmed around the human stranger but Batman felt right at home. Suri pushed aside a large boulder and produced a pony-sized bat costume from a hidden corridor. She placed it on and Batman almost chuckled when Suri put on the duplicate cowl. "I'm Batmare." Suri announced. Batman couldn't help but break into an eerie laugh that made Suri cringe. "You're Batmare?" Batman questioned, "How? Why?" "I got the idea from a comic book shop." Suri/Batmare explained, "I read a comic about a mare who became a superhero after her parents were killed. She devoted herself to fighting crime. I thought I could do the same. I think she was called Mare-Do-Well but I didn't like the name." "Your voice sounds different when you put the mask on." Batman noted, "Harsher. No verbal tic." "Maybe that's the pony I wanna be." Batmare said. "Do you know where the clown pony will strike next?" Batman asked. "Strike next?" Batmare asked. "If your pony friend is anything like the clowns I know then she's planning something terrible." Batman said, "At the very least, she'll probably try to kill you again." "I know I was mean to her but I didn't think she would try to burn me alive." Batmare mused, "It was that vat of chemicals, a concentrated form of the drug. It warped her mind. There's got to be a way to get the real Coco back." "But maybe that's the pony she wants to be." Batman suggested.