VIVA la CMC'TION avec Button Mash!

by Justice3442


Chapter 2: Using a Creepy Spell Isn't Evil If You Have a Good Reason!

Love Tap escorted her guests to a well-furnished living room, Twilight Sparkle stepping heavily as the mare clearly fumed to such an extent it had a physical manifestation on the house wife’s floor. Princess Celestia stepped more gingerly, occasionally looking down at her hooves to make sure she didn’t trample anything under hoof or accidently knock over the odd houseplant. She took her shimmering aurora borealis of a mane roughly the size of an entire pony and maneuvered it so that it didn’t brush against any pictures on the wall and send them careening to the floor.

One of the pictures caught Celestia’s eye, Love Tap smiling happily next to a small-framed, mustachioed, dark-brown, earth pony stallion with a spiked brown mane. In front of the couple was a teenaged light reddish-brown colt holding a guitar and resting his chin on a forehoof more like he was posing for a school senior picture rather than a family picture. Next to him sat Button Mash, who smiled cheerfully at the camera.

“You have a lovely family, Mrs. Love Tap,” Celestia commented.

As she got to the living room, Love Tap turned and looked up at the princess who controlled the very sun in the sky. Again, what she wanted to say was ‘Thank you! They’re my pride and joy!’ but what came out was “T-thanks! The-the ma-my p-p-pri-n-joy!”

Celestia simply acknowledged the return comment with a stately nod.

Twilight marched past Love Tap and up to a purple love seat, flinging herself on it belly and face first as she let out a groan directly into the cushions and spread her limbs and wings as both throw pillows and the odd singed purple feather fell to the ground.

Love Tap moved out of the way of Celestia and nervously motioned towards a large, comfortable-looking easy chair she silently prayed was large enough for the princess. Celestia cocked her head as she regarded the chair and cautiously placed her posterior on it. She maneuvered her hooves as she also stared up at her horn and ducked down slightly, looking very much like a cautious feline checking its surroundings before settling in. With a slight creak, Celestia managed to get her entire weight on the chair without it breaking and sat on her haunches, her horn still quite below the first floor’s high ceiling. Love Tap hoped one or both the princesses knew a shrinking spell if they desired to check the top floor with it’s much lower ceiling.

What am I thinking?! I have not ONE but TWO princesses here and it’s pretty clear this isn’t just a social call!

Twilight Sparkle, Love Tap had expected. In fact, the plan was to give Twilight a taste of what negative influences left unchecked could do to impressionable young foals. Twilight might have foals of her own at some point, right?! So… That was practically a service! Of course, she had mostly concluded that it was probably not a great idea to heap another ‘wrong’ on that particular pile and hope a ‘right’ miraculously sprung forth from the depths. Still, she was relieved that the children had been reported as okay… But what the hay was Celestia doing here in her home?!

WHAT THE BUCKIN’ TARTARUS DID THOSE FOUR DO?! She wished she had some sort of upper limit for what they might have done, but no. No, she did not.

“My little pony?” Celestia called out in an even tone. “I don’t mean to be a bother but—”

“Oh, no!” Love Tap cried hastily. “No bother at all!”

“Quite,” Celestia replied with a nod. “I was wondering if I could trouble you for a drink of some sort?”

“OH!” Love Tap forced a smile. “Of course! Sorry! I don’t entertain royalty that often!”

A small smile appeared on Celestia’s lips and she nodded. “That’s quite alright.” Celestia glanced over at the love seat Twilight was sprawled out on. “Twilight? Would you like something to drink?”

Twilight looked up and stared Love Tap dead in the eye. “Yeah. Glass of grain alcohol. No ice. Leave the bottle,” she barked out.

Love Tap’s eyes widened and her ears flopped down around her head. This was bad. Very, very bad! “… Oh…” she replied.

“‘OH’ is right!” snapped Twilight. “Alcohol first. Then we’ll talk about the day I’ve had so far.”

Love Tap took a deep breath and looked up at Celestia. The grand royal mare seemed neither surprised by Twilight’s request nor angry in the slightest. “A glass for me as well,” Celestia said. “And if you have any wine, I’d be greatly appreciative.”

Love Tap’s eyes fired wide so fast she was sure she felt a blood vessel pop. “W-w-white or red?!”

“Red, please,” Celestia said.

Love Tap practically bolted out of the living room, galloping down the hallway well past the speed she’d have shouted at Button to ‘Slow down!’ and slid into the kitchen. She quickly began throwing open cupboards and cabinets and pulled out a silver tray, which she put on her kitchen table, and several short, stout glasses, a wine glass, and a bottle full of some clear liquid. After pulling out and examining a few labels, she added THREE bottles of red wine, and one white (because better to be safe than sorry) to the tray in a near panic. Looking through her liquor cabinet once more, she also grabbed a bottle of some amber liquid and added to the tray now mostly filled with bottles. She took the edge of the tray in her teeth and trotted it back to towards the living room.

The tray was heavy and unbalanced, but Love Tap’s considerable strength served her well. Still, the contents of the tray clattered as they jumped slightly and bumped against each other. She had the strength, but she was more nervous than she had ever been in her life, which was saying quite a bit considering her son’s friends and her ‘adopted daughters’.  

As she walked back into the living room, she received a somewhat concerned look from Princess Celestia and a cold stare from Twilight. Twilight, who immediately took one of the small glasses and the bottle of clear liquid in the raspberry glow of her magic. Following suit, Celestia slowly removed the four bottles of wine, a small glass, and the wine glass, holding them up in her shimmering golden magic.

Love Tap took this opportunity to put the tray down on a round, tinted glass coffee table and uncork the bottle of amber liquid with her forehooves and mouth. Taking the bottle in her mouth, she poured herself a rather full glass of the amber liquid which slushed around her cup before the bubbles in it quickly dissipated. Twilight filled her own glass and floated the bottle towards Celestia. After various glasses were filled and bottles returned to the tray, Love Tap sat in an unoccupied purple chair across from the mares and clutched her drink, waiting for Twilight to tilt her head back and take a huge swig from her drink and Celestia to take a generous sip of hers before Love Tap herself took a healthy gulp.

The strong alcohol warmed her throat to the point of near uncomfortableness, but Love Tap didn’t even notice.

“Princess Twilight?” Celestia said in that same even tone that gave Love Tap no hints as to the larger princesses current feelings. “Perhaps you can explain the current situation to Mrs. Love Tap.”

Clearly doing her best not to sneer as she looked up at the other Princess, Twilight replied with an irritated sounding, “Should I go with the short version, or the long version?”

“I think long would be better,” Celestia said. “The context for what I’m going to ask is rather important.” Celestia turned towards Love Tap. “As well as a full understanding of the magnitude of what has been started today.”

Love Tap quickly drained her cup and reached for the bottle, nearly knocking it over with her forehoof as she did.

“Allow me,” Celestia said as she took the amber bottle in her magic, and poured Love Tap another glass.

“T-thanks!” Love Tap stammered out.

With a heavy sigh exhaled through Twilight’s nose, she took another slug of her drink then held it in front of her with a magenta glow of her horn. “It all started when I was checking up on my newest friendship student…”

>~ooo~<

Fizzlepop Berrytwist smiled slightly as she tilted her head to the right then left.

Okay Fizzlepop… You stormed Equestria’s capital and quickly dispatched three Princesses and even took an obsidian orb for Twilight and her friends.

She smiled a bit further, then decided maybe the scarred side of her face wasn’t the one to lead with then turned her head back and to the right.

You.

Fizzlepop smile widened.

Can.

She tilted her head back to the left, raising her chin as high as she could to block visibility to her broken horn while still looking forward.

Do.

Fizzlepop tried the coveted ‘super friendly and welcoming toothed smile’.

This.

Fizzlepop’s smile fell from her face and died tragically as a heavy, full face frown set in and buried the smile under tons of ‘nope, not happening’ rubble. She glared at the mirror.

Why is Twilight having me do this?

‘Knock, knock, knock…’

Tempest let out a heavy sigh. “Coming!” she called out as she approached the large, crystalline green doors with their black metal mesh coverings. She reached out to push the doors and—

I’m sorry but can I ask something, please?

STOPPED BECAUSE SOMEPONY WON’T LET SOMEPONY ELSE EVEN GET STARTED HERE!

>~ooo~<

Love Tap recoiled and did her best to push herself back into her own chair, pressing so hard it was as if she hoped the cushions would take her in and she’d fall into some sort of alternative world away from yelling, rage-filled princesses.

Twilight’s chest puffed up and down and she gave Love Tap a stare as if she was contemplating if Princesses could get away with murder or not.

“Twilight?” Celestia called out calmly. “Please calm down. Your anger against actions that have already occurred is not going to help this situation.”

Twilight let out a calming sigh and finished her glass before retrieving the bottle in her magic and pouring herself another.

Celestia looked at Love Tap. “Please forgive Princess Twilight, Mrs. Love Tap,” Celestia said. “As she’s trying to explain, she’s had a quite trying day.”

Love Tap swallowed. “I-I’m sorry…”

Celestia’s lips pulled into a tight smile. “Whether you have anything to apologize for remains to be seen. What was your concern?”

“Er…” Love Tap turned towards Twilight. “Twilight, how do you know what, er… Fizzlepop was doing?”

Twilight threw her forehooves up in the air, nearly knocking her own drink out of the air. “I’m just setting the scene with some insight into my latest student, al-buckin’-right?!”

“Gentle now, Twilight…” Celestia said in a soothing tone.

This elected a glare from Twilight, much to Love Tap’s surprise. Although she had two princesses in her living room, Twilight’s relationship to Celestia was not a secret and whatever had transpired today, it was enough that Twilight didn’t think twice about sending the odd dirty look her former mentor’s way.

Twilight sighed. “Can I continue now?”

“Er, yes… Sorry, Princess Twilight…” Love Tap said.

“Oh, you’re going to be…” Twilight muttered causing Love Tap to once again seek shelter in her chair.

“Twilight!” Celestia snapped.

Twilight took another drink and continued her story.

>~ooo~<

Tempest pushed open the double doors, somewhat relieved they had neither knob nor handle for her to flail ineffectually against. Unsurprisingly, Twilight’s smiling face greeted her on the other side. “Princess,” Tempest greeted simply, “what brings you to my palatial living quarters?”

Twilight’s smile plummeted and she looked past Fizzlepop into the room. “I’m sorry, is there something wrong with your room?! Because, there’s loads of others and Spike and I would be more than happy too—”

Fizzlepop held up a forehoof and let out a sigh. “No. Sorry. That wasn’t sarcasm.” Frowning, she added, “I guess I’ll need to work on having a ‘friendlier tone’ in my studies with you.”

Twilight laughed. “I’ll add it to the list!”

Fizzlepop gave Twilight a concerned look. “There’s a list?”

Twilight nodded. “Of course! How else would I track what to work on with you?”

Tempest’s face began to go from plum to a color much closer to Twilight’s. “I hope it’s not too big…”

Twilight swatted at the air dismissively. “Oh, the size of a list isn’t important. It’s all in how you utilize it!” Twilight insisted.

Momentarily caught off guard, Fizzlepop found herself grinning. “Now, was that a horn joke or a lower horn joke?”

Rather than answer, Twilight frowned slightly as she tilted her head and gave Fizzlepop a closer inspection. “I see you’re still wearing your armor…”

Indeed, Fizzlepop was wearing the armor she was given in the service of the Storm King. Though, the Storm King insignias were now scorched beyond recognition.  “It’s the only suit of armor I have,” Fizzlepop said with a slightly dark smile.

“Well, do you need to wear armor at all?”

“I’m going to be walking into a room with some peoples who assuredly mostly know me from my time with the Storm King.” Fizzlepop put on a rather professional look like a trained soldier standing at attention. “I only felt protecting myself would be wise and would make me a more ready battle asset for you if the situation so calls for it.”

“Er…” Twilight rubbed the back of her head. “If you really think that’s necessary.”

Fizzlepop nodded. “I do. Unless you order me otherwise, Princess.” The line was delivered evenly as Fizzlepop continued to stand at attention.

Twilight sighed and motioned for Fizzlepop to follow her, Fizzlepop obediently complied. The two mares began trotting down past double-door after double-door that all looked exactly the same amongst violet walls with engravings of trees, mountains, and clouds.  “I’m not going to order you to do anything, Fizzlepop. I’m your friend, not your commander.”

“You’re my princess,” Fizzlepop stressed. “Ipso facto, you’re my leader, and therefore can give me orders.”

Twilight scrunched her lips up. “Okay, but I think for this particular relationship it’ll be more helpful to think of me as a friend who's helping you through a difficult transition.”

Fizzlepop raised an eyebrow. “Is throwing me to the timber-wolves supposed to help?”

Twilight grimaced. “I’m not throwing you to the timber-wolves, Tempe-Fizzlepop.” Twilight’s smile returned and she gave Fizzlepop a quick pat on the shoulder. “I’ll be right there with you!”

“My mistake,” Fizzlepop said. “You and I will both run headlong into the Timber-Wolf den and do a little dance for them in the hopes that dancing with timber-wolves placates them instead of convincing them to devour us whole all the quicker!”

Twilight huffed out a sigh. “Don’t worry! If I can forgive you, I’m sure anypony can!”

Fizzlepop looked down at Twilight quizzically. “First of all, we’re not dealing with ponies here.”

“A minor technicality!” Twilight insisted.

“Second of all, I have the benefit of having saved you and your friends. It’s not like I took an obsidian orb for the Queen of the Hippogriff’s daughter or any of the Abyssinian rulers.”

“Okay, but I feel that’s a little unfair considering the Storm King conquered the Abyssinians before you joined forces with him.”

“Third of all, Equestria’s conquering was limited to just Canterlot and was temporary at best,” Fizzlepop frowned, “And neither of these nations had a staff that rebuilt their cities with magical alicorn power.”

“I, uh…” Twilight thought about this for a moment. “RIGHT! Well, that’s why we’re having this meeting; to help them rebuild!” she said with a smile that shown she was proud of coming up with a response so quickly.

Fizzlepop acknowledged this by rolling her eyes. “Finally, I think you’re far more forgiving than most. I mean… Just consider the company you keep.”

“Oh! On that note, Starlight will also be there!” Twilight offered hopefully.

Fizzlepop’s expression went from its already ‘above tepid irritation’ state to ‘bubbling low-simmer glower’ immediately. “Oh good-eeee.”

“Uh… Was that ‘good-ee’ genuine, or sarcasm? Because it sounded like—”

“Sarcasm,” Fizzlepop answered. “Definitely sarcasm.”

Twilight let out a sigh, closed her eyes, and tapped a forehoof to her forehead. “Oh!” she exclaimed suddenly, her eyes going wide.  “On a semi-related note,” she took a quick glance around, noting the sameness of her hallways and doors, “any trouble getting around the castle?” she asked.

“No. Why?” Tempest return queried as she tilted her head slightly.

“Just that Starlight still gets lost from time to time.”

A small, yet wicked grin spread across Tempest’s face. “Really…” she purred darkly.

Twilight frowned. “I guess I shouldn’t have told you that…”

Fizzlepop chuckled and shook her head. “It’s just that it’s so easy to navigate. This place is pretty much composed out of landmarks!”

Twilight blinked in surprise a couple times. “It… it is?”

Fizzlepop nodded her head in response. “There’s a large cloud with five swirls etched into the wall behind us above three doors. The doors lead to a bathroom in the center. It’s flanked by two changing rooms that can be locked from the inside, but also from the bathroom.” She nodded forward. “That tree with its three central branches is set next to a quiet study with a with a window that’s only about a floor’s drop from one of the lower crystal branches.” She nodded to her right. “And those twenty-six stars are above a bedroom. It also has a window, but the drop would be straight down to the ground.”

Twilight let out an impressed sounding murmur. “I see why you hoof picked your room, personally.”

Fizzlepop nodded. “And Grubber's… Far enough away that he can’t disturb me, but close enough that we can hear if the other yells, and also I can get to him if we have to retreat to the outside of the castle.”

 Twilight nodded and looked forward, her forehead creasing as she looked up at another cloud on her wall. “How can you tell the difference between the cloud behind us and that cloud?” She asked as she pointed with a forehoof briefly.

“That cloud has four swirls,” Fizzlepop answered. She shook her head. “How a pony who’s smart enough to memorize and pull off complex spells can get lost in a place like this is beyond me.”

Twilight giggled nervously. “Well… I, er, memorized the layout by counting doors, actually…”

“No, not you,” Fizzlepop clarified. “Starlight.” She sighed. “That mare conducts herself with such confidence. As if she doesn’t even need to think twice over her actions and yet ‘hallways’ are one of the many things that trip her up.”

Twilight looked up at Fizzlepop with a tight frown and shook her head. “I don’t know why you two don’t get along. You have a lot in common.”

Tempest rolled her eyes so hard it was a wonder the mare didn’t get dizzy. “Oh, yes! We both suffered horrible tragedies somewhat related to friends going off to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns! We should just bond over our shared misery! I’ll just completely overlook the fact that…”

-o-

“…her reason for turning bad isn’t even a very good one!” Starlight exclaimed.

Spike sighed and raised a claw to his face. “Not this again…”

“Well, it’s not!” Starlight insisted. “So her horn got broke and she got a cool facial scar, big freakin’ deal!”

Trixie, wearing her signature star-and-moon patterned purple hat and matching cape, nodded. “It is pretty cool. It matches her broken horn quite well and invites ponies to wonder what the story behind it is.”

Spike nodded in agreement. “It’s a good look for her!” he concurred. “You know Rarity tried to help by covering it with a hat?” He shook his head. “Awful… Just… There’s a mare who does not look good in hats!”

UGH! WHAT IS IT THIS TIME?!

>~ooo~<

Twilight fired off an irate glare at Love Tap from just over her glass.

“What?! I didn’t say anything!”

“But you pulled a face!”

“No I didn’t!” insisted Love Tap.

“Yes you did!” Twilight declared with an accusatory forehoof. “I’m looking right at you when I tell the story, you know!”

“Mares, please!” Celestia interjected. “We’re all adults here. Childish antics have caused quite enough problems.”

Twilight and Love Tap took deep breaths, even deeper drinks, and settled back into their seats.

>~ooo~<

Starlight grimaced slightly. “Can I finish, please?!”

I’m letting you finish!

NO! I DIDN’T SAY THAT! STARLIGHT SAID THAT!

Oh, sorry… My mistake.

Starlight continued, “Just, throwing a huge tantrum because your friends went to a special school and you didn’t is the height of overreaction!”

Trixie and Spike exchanged a confused glance before Spike raised a claw in the air. “Uh…”

Starlight let out a disgruntled grunt. “I didn’t throw a tantrum and run away!” Starlight insisted. “I saw a problem in Equestrian society and vowed to fix it!”

“Yeah,” Spike drawled, “through cajoling and creepy brainwashing… I mean… it still feels a bit tantrum-y to me. It just has the benefit of a bit more direction… minus the part where you kinda ended up in the middle of Absolute Nowhere, Equestria.”

Starlight tightened her forehead as much as she could and glowered down at Spike.

“What? It does!” Spike said as he raised his claws into a shrug.

Smiling, Trixie wrapped a foreleg around Starlight’s shoulder. “Well, the Great and Powerful Trixie thinks your tragic, life-changing event is much more compelling than that, blech, Fizzlepop Berrytwist’s.”

“It’s not, but okay…” Spike muttered.

“Thanks, Trixie!” Starlight said as she continued to glare at Spike. “So she suffered a head injury and didn’t go to a special school! I mean… I didn’t go to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns either!”

Trixie retracted her forehoof and nodded. “And you turned out fine!”

Spike winced. “Ouch, good thing Starlight can cast ice spells for that burn.”

Starlight and Trixie stared at Spike blankly.

Spike’s emerald eyes opened wide in worry. “Uh… Just going to try and power on past that one….” Spike sighed heavily. “Besides, aren’t you being a little hard on the mare? I mean… How would you act if you lost your magic at such a young age?”

“I’d…!” Starlight sent her amethyst-colored eyes horn-ward and thought for a moment. “Well… Better than Tempest Shadow, that’s for certain!” Starlight insisted.

Spike rolled his eyes. “Starlight, you didn’t act any better with magic!”

Starlight once again crinkled her forehead, her snout getting in on the action. She turned towards Trixie.

“I’m not sure why you’re looking at me,” Trixie replied. She closed her eyes, tilted her head upwards, and placed a forehoof on her chest, “but I do appreciate the attention.”

Starlight turned back to Spike and sighed. “Okay, you might have something of a point, Spike.”

Trixie grinned. “Too bad Fizzlepop doesn’t! UP TOP!”

Starlight and Trixie shared a quick high-hoof.

Spike regarded the two mares in disgust. “Wow… Never thought I’d see the day where you celebrated ableism, Starlight.” He glanced upwards and bobbed his head from side-to-side. “Trixie…? Eh.”

Starlight continued, “Look, I went off the rails because I lost my only friend to that school! Fizzlepop went nuts just because she…”

-o-

“… didn’t go!” Fizzlepop cried motioning out towards the open hallway.

Twilight let out a groan, clearly regretting she opened a can of worms she wasn’t expecting to be more like a barrel full of face-grabbing cephalopods.

Fizzlepop shook her head. “She could have submitted the application herself!” Fizzlepop said. “At least she would have had the opportunity to try out!” She shook her head. “And you can’t tell me little filly Starlight Glimmer wouldn’t have the magical prowess to be accepted with open forelegs!”  

“Alright!” Twilight barked. “I get that you two had similar but slightly differing experiences.”

“There’s nothing slight about an Ursa Minor, Twilight!” Fizzlepop snapped. She frowned slightly. “I mean… once you disregard the fact that ‘minor’ is in its name.”

Twilight huffed out yet another exasperated sigh, one in a long line of sighs she was sure to come concerning her two students. “Okay, well maybe you two should try focusing on what you have in common instead of what’s different between you?”

“Twilight, I’m not sure you quite get it.” She shook her head. “Part of the problem between Starlight and I, is that we’re too similar.”

“… I fail to see how that’s a problem.”

It was Fizzlepop’s turn to huff out a sigh. “Of course you don’t, but looking at Starlight feels like looking at my reflection in a dirty mirror.” Fizzlepop motioned skyward dramatically. “It’s like you want me to wake up and notice that I’m somepony I’m not!” Frowning, she looked back down at Twilight. “It’s not like you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see.”

Twilight put a reassuring forehoof on Fizzlepop’s shoulder as both mares stopped. “I’m not going to pretend I understand first hoof what it’s like to be you, Fizzlepop.” She smiled. “But I think Starlight and you would have a lot to teach each other if you can only come to some sort of an understanding!”

Fizzlepop blew a gust of air through her lips causing them to audibly flap up and down. “Okay, Princess… I’ll try.”

Twilight nodded as the pair began trotting again. “That’s all I ask for.”

“Okay…” Fizzlepop tilted her head and shot Twilight an annoyed expression. “Now, can you stop leading us around in circles?!”

Twilight let out a nervous giggle. “You noticed?”

Fizzlepop nodded. “Immediately.”

“Sorry!” Twilight spat out. “I just wanted to have a nice, leisurely chat with you!” Twilight said as she turned a corner and led the mares to a set of large green double doors. With a magenta glow of Twilight’s horn, they opened revealing a large open area with three long, rectangular conference tables arranged in a ‘U’ shape in front of a number of crystalline chairs. Starlight, Trixie, and Spike stood in a corner chatting to each other.

 “Don’t look now, but here comes the new model,” Trixie quipped.

“Ugh… Tell me about it!” Starlight groaned.

Spike folded his arms and shot a dirty look Starlight’s way. “Do you and Fizzlepop just continuously come up with new reasons to hate each other? If it’s not you complaining that Twilight is trying to replace you, it’s Fizzlepop griping about how you use your magic for everything.”

Starlight peered at Spike quizzically. “I thought you and Fizzlepop didn’t really talk.”

Spike shrugged with an open claw. “We don’t, but me and Grubber hang out! It’s kinda like a small, underappreciated helper gathering.”

“Say, where is the fat little creature, anyhow?” Trixie asked looking about. “Also, what is he?”

“Twilight let him sleep in,” explained Spike, “she said she had plenty of help for these diplomatic meetings.” Spike leaned in and used a claw to block out ears that might be listening in—

Fat load of good that did.

SSSSSSHHHH!

— “And I think Twilight feels she might be pushing things a bit with Tempest Shadow as it is. Two ex-Storm King henchmen might be too much at first.”

“Yet another reason she should just skip these meetings!” Starlight quipped.

Spike rolled his eyes once more, going so far as to inform Starlight that, “I’m rolling my eyes as hard as I can at you. Anyways, Grubber didn’t seem to mind at all, though he was hoping Twilight would soften the guests up enough that he could attend the buffet.” Spike raised a foreclaw. “Also, he’s a hedgehog.”

“Ugh…” Starlight took her turn to roll her eyes. “I’m surprised you tolerate him at all Spike. You’re way cooler than him.”

“Uh… thanks?” Spike said in an unsure tone. “I mean… it’s not a competition or anything… Hey, wait! Do you just automatically hate Grubber because he hangs out with Fizzlepop?!”

Starlight pulled a scrunchy face. “…Maybe…”

Trixie raised a forehoof. “I feel that is reason enough.”

“Girls, I’m going to wear out my eye muscles at this rate!” He gave both mares a serious look. “I’m not going to pretend Grubber has some sort of charming Casanova-like personality that makes everypony instinctively like him.”

Trixie smiled wryly and winked at Spike. “Like somepony we know.”

Spike chuckled. “Aw, shucks. Thanks, Trixie.”

Trixie’s smile dropped. “Thanks for what? I was talking about myself.”

Spike shot an annoyed look toward the ceiling. “Of course you were.” He turned back to Starlight. “But Grubber's got his moments. He’s certainly smarter than he looks!”

“Like somepony we know!” Trixie repeated with the same grin and wink.

Spike frowned heavily. “That was directed at me this time, wasn’t it?”

Trixie giggled and nodded.

Spike shot the magician a glare. “Just remember who you ask to clean your cape and hat when they get too dirty.”

Starlight tossed up a forehoof. “Look, all I’m saying is the second Twilight had an opportunity to reform yet another unicorn, she invited her into the castle without a second thought!”

“So?” Spike replied with a shrug of both his claws. “It’s Twilight. She’d probably have invited Tirek if she thought it’d make a difference… and Sunset, if she was really thinking at all…”

“I didn’t get an invite!” Trixie pointed out.

“Twilight didn’t have a castle yet!” Spike countered.

It was finally Trixie’s turn to roll her eyes. “Right, because when she got one the first thing she did was send a written invitation to me!”

“Okay, you got me there,” Spike said, “though, if she had, it’d probably get lost in the mail anyway, given Ponyville mail services and you moving around all the time.”

“Ugh…” Starlight groaned as she glared across the room at Fizzlepop. “There she is just listening to Twilight and rolling her eyes at everything she says!”

Another eyeroll from Spike. “Right, who even does that?” he asked sarcastically.

Starlight shook her head. “The least she could do is be respectful to the princess who gave her a second chance.”

Trixie tilted her head. “Let’s agree to disagree on that point… of which I should remind everypony that Fizzlepop has no—”

“Give it a rest, Trixie!” Spike flung out a claw towards Starlight. “Look, nopony expects you two to be besties!”

Starlight’s brow knit together as she looked down at Spike. “Twilight certainly did!”

Trixie nodded. “Right! I mean almost immediately she was all… ‘Oh, Starlight! Here’s Fizzlepop Berrytwist! She totally needs a friend who can relate to her problems, and help her be a better pony! And now you don’t have to hang out with that Trixie who’s a ‘bad influence’,” Trixie concluded with air quotes.

“That’s ridiculous!” Spike asserted.

“I know, right?!” Trixie said. “Starlight was already plenty bad before she met me!”

“No! I mean… Well, yeah, but… There’s no way Twilight introduced Fizzlepop to Starlight like that.”

The left side of Starlight’s lips went upward, seemingly unbalancing her head as it tilted to the other side. “I think we all know Twilight at least implied all that, Spike.”

“I…” Spike’s face pulled inward slightly. “Okay, probably. But it’d be nice if you two could at least walk past each other in the hallway without getting into a fight!”

>-ooo-<

Fizzlepop and Starlight trotted down one of the many hallways of the castle heading toward one another. They locked eyes as they approached and held the other’s gaze, both refusing to look away as if they were playing a game of ‘stare chicken’, their expressions becoming more and more irritated the closer they got. Finally, both broke eye contact as they began to walk past their current, perceived nemesis.

“Sociopath,” uttered Fizzlepop.

“Edge-horse,” mumbled Starlight.

Both mares suddenly wheeled around and sneered. “WHAT DID YOU SAY?!”

I’m sorry, but I really need to call a time-out here!

WHAT THE HAY IS IT THIS TIME?!

Why are you explaining something even further back in time?! How can you possibly have this much detail around things you weren’t even present for?!

>-ooo-<

>-ooo-<

Once again, Twilight found herself glowering at Love Tap from behind her drink. “I was just adding additional background information, alright?!”

“Oh, okay? But that doesn’t explain how much detail you have for everything else!” Love Tap countered.

“Perhaps it’s best if I explain,” Celestia said calmly.

Love Tap looked up at the Princess, her hair still shimmering and flowing in the breezeless living room. Something she might have questioned if it weren’t for the propeller beanie her son always wore spinning away so long as it rested atop his head. “Uh, yes please, your highness.”

Celestia nodded as she took a moment to pour herself a refill for her glass of wine. “There’s a spell that allows one to peer into the past. Because it’s time magic, there are severe restrictions regarding when it is allowed to be used.”

“Restrictions?”

“Matters relating to national security and investigations around such,” Celestia said evenly.

“… Oh…” Love Tap replied before she emptied her glass. She felt she’d be getting a lot of use of that utterance today. Setting her glass down, her brow tightened somewhat. “Wait, why is Twilight taking the time to narrate, then? Can’t we just use the spell to show me?”

Twilight’s glances were rapidly approaching apoplectic. “Hey! I’m even including the disparaging things my oldest friend Spike is saying about me! It’s not like you’re getting a big dose of ‘unreliable narrator’ here!”

“Well, it just seems like it would be easier…”

Twilight’s eyes narrowed as her lips widened into a disconcerting grin. “The spell requires any participants to basically observe time from two points simultaneously. Ponies who are used to the complexities of powerful magics can usually handle the strain with a minimum of stress on the psyche. Any pony without those experiences is likely to go mad.”

Love Tap gulped and reached for her glass and bottle. “Right, my apologies, please continue.”

>-ooo-<

>-ooo-<

The two mares grit their teeth at each other, once again locked into a staring contest. Fizzlepop’s horn began to spark dangerously as Starlight’s began to ‘hum’ with electric blue magics.

I think you can safely skip the rest of this encounter, Twilight.

<-ooo->

Trixie tittered to herself. “Who wants to bet that Twilight is trying to spin getting along with you to Fizzlepop as some sort of friendship lesson.”

Spike pursed his lips into a tight frown and said nothing.

“Ugh!” was Starlight’s response. “No deal. That’s such a Twilight Sparkle move, it hurts!”

Trixie giggled. “Oh, she’s coming right towards us!” She turned towards Starlight. “I bet she opens with you getting along with Fizzlepop as a friendship lesson.”

“… I feel a migraine coming on…” Starlight mumbled, her amethyst eyes widening.

“Hey Starlight, Spike!” Twilight greeted with a smile that wilted slightly as she turned to the other pony present. “Trixie.”

“Trixie caught that look!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Starlight, I wanted to talk to you for a second.”

Trixie grinned widely as she giddily cantered in place. “Oh, here it comes!”

Twilight sighed. “Would you two excuse us for a second?”

Starlight raised a forehoof. “No, no! It’s fine! I’m sure my dear and best friends would benefit from hearing this as much as me.”

Twilight pursed her lips for a moment then nodded. “Okay… Well, I know you and Fizzlepop have had trouble adjusting to each other’s presence as of late.”

Trixie’s smile widened and a giddy “Eeeeeeee!” began to exit from her clenched teeth.

The corners of Spike’s lips began to drop like they were trying to get away from what was about to go down.

Twilight continued, seemingly oblivious to the reactions of the other two, “So I thought, ‘Hey! Figuring out how to get along with a pony who might rub you the wrong way initially is an important social skill to pick up!’”

Starlight stared at Twilight like Twilight was blaring a whistle at her while blinding her with a spotlight as she barreled at a dizzying speed down a track that Starlight was tied to.

“Oh my gosh!” Trixie exclaimed as she danced in place some more. “Here it comes! Here it comes!”

Spike sighed and extended an open claw. “Right, preparing facepalm.”

“So!” Twilight smiled widely and placed her forehooves on Starlight’s shoulders. “Maybe you can treat getting along with Fizzlepop as a sort of friendship lesson!”

Starlight exploded into a pained moan causing Twilight to lift a forehoof up and recoil.

Trixie pumped a victorious forehoof. “And BOOM goes the fireworks!”

Spike smashed his open claw right between his eyes. “Facepalm deployed!”

“It hurts!” Starlight exclaimed as she clutched the sides of her head. “Right in the think-pan!” She massaged her temples and thought frantically: Was it really possible the mare that had saved her from herself was this oblivious and predictable to all things friendship?

I hate to interrupt.

RECENT EVIDENCE SUGGESTS OTHERWISE!

Okay, just… How do you know what everypony is thinking? Even ponies who are not yourself?

It’s best we not delve too deeply into magic that is all but forbidden to all but the highest echelon of magic users.

Well…

WHAT IS IT NOW?!

I’m sorry but this spell… I mean… I love and trust my princesses…

SCOFF! GRUNT OF DISPLEASURE! FURTHER NOISES SHOWING I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!

Er… But with a spell like this it seems you could spy on all of Equestria… Forgive me if that unnerves me.

That’s a fair and understandable reaction. As mentioned, the spell is only called upon for the most critical of situations where the understanding of an event is crucial to preventing it from happening again. Even with some of the more dire situations Equestria has faced, we’ve managed to avoid it’s use. However, this particular event involved several heads of foreign states in addition to Twilight and her staff.

...I’d like to say I feel better now, but… Well, I let’s just say I feel FAR less concerned about being spied on at the moment…

DO YOU THINK USING THIS SPELL WAS SOMEHOW A ‘POSITIVE EXPERIENCE’ FOR ME?! I ENDED UP LISTENING IN ON A BUNCH OF MY FRIENDS AS THEY COMPLAINED ABOUT ME IN ADDITION TO PICKING UP THEIR SURFACE THOUGHTS ON THE MATTER! I’D SAY THAT WAS THE WORST PART OF THE DAY, BUT GIVEN THERE’S SO MUCH TO CHOOSE FROM, IT’S RATHER HARD TO SAY.

...glug, glug, glug…

DO YOU WANT NEGA-PRINCESSES?! BECAUSE THAT’S HOW YOU GET NEGA-PRINCESSES!

Twilight? Your anger is understandable, but perhaps you should take a moment to relax.

...GLUG, GLUG, GLUG…

Mrs. Love Tap, I also recommend that if you have any further questions regarding Twilight’s narrative, you say them now. I feel your interruptions are, well… shall we say ‘poking the Ursa Major’ at the moment.”

...glug, glug… Okay. I’m sorry. I just… This is a lot to take in!

OH! SO YOU’RE THE PONY WE SHOULD BE FEELING SORRY FOR IN THIS SITUATION!

Twilight, please!

...glug, glug… Fair… But I also thought this was going to be a story about my son and his friends! I appreciate you setting things up like this, but I think it’d also help if I knew what they were up to during this time.

I’m sorry, my little pony. However, I’m afraid there’s no way Twilight could possibly—

Button’s back legs flailed out from one of his saddlebags, his head and nearly the entire front half of his body shoved down amongst the video game cartridges and consoles he’d brought.

… I stand corrected.

“Uh? Button?” Apple Bloom called out. “Maybe this would go better if ya just took out the games and stuff first!”

“What, and get them dirty?!” Button exclaimed. “I don’t think so…”

Apple Bloom glanced around their surroundings, a rather unremarkably pristine Ponyville day. However, her eyes focused off into the horizon toward a forest past the small hills and homes of Ponyville. “Whatcha think was gonna happen when we got to the Everfree forest?” she asked. “If ya think it’s dirty out here…”

“Well, I was gonna collect wood and make a small house first!” Button replied. “You know… to keep the zombies away, too!”

Apple Bloom let out a heavy sigh. “Ah’m jus’ gonna power right past that one…”

“We’re baAaAaAaAaAack~!” 

Apple Bloom turned to see Scootaloo on her scooter, helmet on her head, and beating her tiny wings like a hummingbird as she sped down the path, the rope around her waist tied to a cart loaded with fireworks of all shapes and sizes and one slightly nervous-looking white unicorn filly in the back. She stopped both herself and cart in front of Apple Bloom.

Apple Bloom looked over the cart. “Pinkie Pie give ya any trouble?”

“Hah!” Scootaloo said. “Does she ever?” She took off her helmet and shook her bright magenta mane free. “Anyhow, we got the goods so you and Button can stop making out behind Sweetie’s back.”

“HEY!” Sweetie called out, she leapt out of the cart and ran up to Button whose flank was still pointed skyward.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Sweetie Belle, ya gotta know Button and I weren’t up to any funny business…” She tapped her chin for a moment. “That didn’t involve plannin’ for our attack, that is.”

Scootaloo chuckled to herself. “Yeah, Sweets. I was only trying to rustle your jimmies. Seems I rustled them really good!”

Sweetie Belle glared at Scootaloo. “Well, it wasn’t funny!”—

“It was a little funny,” Scootaloo quipped.

—“You know Button and Apple Bloom used to date!”

Apple Bloom tossed her forehooves in the air. “Jus’ ONCE! ‘Cause ya forced me to, you memory-addled barn cat!” She motioned towards Scootaloo. “Ya forced the both of us!”

“Yeah,” Scootaloo said, “Can’t believe Apple Bloom’s date was somehow worse than mine, though!”

Apple Bloom gave Scootaloo a sour look. “Ah feel that’s a matter of opinion.”

“I took Button to a simple skate park!” Scootaloo said.

“An’ Greasy’s! Don’t forget Greasy’s!”

Scootaloo shuddered. “I wish I could, but somehow I see it every time I close my eyes for too long and smell it right before I drift off to a night of terrifying nightmares.” the daredevils eyes unfocused, as she stared off into the void, horrified for a few seconds, “Anyway!” she shook it off and leveled an accusatory forehoof at Apple Bloom. “You ran him through a bunch of our old cutie mark getting attempts! And they were the worst, most dangerous ones!”

“Well, of course!” Apple Bloom insisted. “Ah couldn’t run the risk that Button would have fun and actually fall for me, now could I?!”

Sweetie Belle’s mouth practically unhinged. “Ah—”

A muffled cry from Button suddenly escaped his saddle bag, “Gah! Help! I’m stuck!”

Sweetie Belle turned, and with an emerald glow of her horn, lifted Button out of his bag and set him on the ground.

Button smiled at Sweetie Belle. “Thanks, Sweetie Belle! You really helped me out there.”

“Oh… It was nothing!” Sweetie Belle said with a beaming smile.

“It pretty much wasn’t,” Scootaloo mumbled.

“I couldn’t find the glove,” Button informed. He looked at his other bag. “Maybe, it’s in this one?”

“I can help you find it!” Sweetie Belle said enthusiastically.

“No, no!” Button said. “I got this!” he exclaimed before diving headfirst into his other bag.

“Okay, Button, my sweet! I love you!”

“Love you, too!” Button’s muffled reply came as he rummaged through his bag.

 Sweetie Belle turned back to Apple Bloom. “—hah!” she concluded, pointing an accusing forehoof. “So you did think you had a chance with Button!”

Scootaloo groaned. “Not this again…”

“Sweetie Belle, believe us,” Apple Bloom said. “Except for maybe Button’s mom, nopony wanted ‘ta see you two together more than us two!”

Scootaloo nodded. “Right! Watching you two tiptoe around your feelings because you didn’t want to hurt each other hurt us instead... Mentally, emotionally, and physically!” Scootaloo looked over at Button’s house across the field that served as a courtyard by Twilight’s castle. The home clearly being a bit larger than the houses around it. “I mean… now our weekly dose of Button-related madness mostly comes from his family’s new additions…” She turned back towards Sweetie Belle, “Not you two bumbling through the world’s most drawn out confession.”

Apple Bloom’s red bow flopped about as the filly nodded her head so hard in agreement, it was almost surprising she didn’t hurt her neck.

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “Come on guys! I’m sure my chase after Button Mash wasn’t nearly as drawn out as another pony’s chase!”

“Found it!” Button declared triumphantly, still head and forehooves down in his bag. There was a pause before his back legs began flailing rapidly. “Ah! Sweetie Belle! Help! I’m stuck again!”

“Don’t worry, Button, my love!” Sweetie Belle cried. “I’m coming!” she said as her horn glowed emerald once more.

Scootaloo’s eyes made one more rotation around her orbital sockets. “One might say you’re already there!”

Button was once again pulled free of his bag, this time clutching a gray cylindrical item with an opening at one end and four digits at the other in his forehooves. Sweetie Belle gently lowered him back to the grass where Button slowly lowered the item.

“Yay!” Button cried as he reared up on his back hooves and swung his forehooves about. He followed this up by rushing up to Sweetie Belle and wrapping his forehooves around her neck. “Thanks, Sweetie Belle. You’re the best!” he said, punctuating the statement with a kiss on Sweetie Belle’s cheek which immediately flushed with a pink hue along with the other.

“Oh… It was my pleasure,” Sweetie Belle said with a slight blush.

“Whatcha got there, Button?” Apple Bloom asked as she and Scootaloo trotted up and looked at the foreign device with its collection of Buttons on the side and peculiar-looking grasping appendages at the end.

Scootaloo’s face lit up. “Some sort of futuristic cybernetic fist that’ll help us overthrow the Monarchy?!”

Button Mash grinned at Scootaloo. “Sort of!” he answered. He nosed the open end of the device and grunted as he picked it up with one forehoof and sat on his haunches as he attempted to shove his other hoof inside it, grunting awkwardly as the device continued to confound him.

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow and gave Scootaloo smug smirk. “‘Oligarchy’,” she corrected.

“Uh? Gesundheit?”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “‘Monarchy’ means a single ruler. ‘Oligarchy’ means control is in the hand of a small group of elites.”

Scootaloo gave Sweetie Belle a determined look. “Well, then… I hope Button’s device will help us overthrow the Oligarchy as well as the aristocratic support structure for it, and… you know what? Let’s overturn the bourgeoisie while we’re at it!”

Sweetie Belle gave Scootaloo a blank stare for a moment. “Okay… Even I have to admit that was pretty impressive.”

Scootaloo smiled proudly. “As I said, you’ve got your interests, I’ve got mine!”

“Uh, girls?” Apple Bloom pointed towards Button who was still grunting as he fumbled awkwardly with the device in his forehooves.

 “Er… Button?” Sweetie Belle said. “Do you need—”

Button clamped on one of the digits with his mouth. “Iff goff thiff!” he insisted. After a bit more fumbling, he finally got the device on. “Ta-da!” he said as he held four digits up as high as he can.

“Cool!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “What’s it do? Also… What is it?”

Button grinned. “It’s the Mega Glove!” Button exclaimed. “It makes it so me and my games are one!” He chuckled. “Everything else is foal’s play!”

The three fillies present all let out disappointed groans.

“My games and I, Button!” Sweetie Belle clarified.

“That should not even remotely be your issue!” Scootaloo fumed.

“Ya mean it jus’ helps ya with video games!” Apple Bloom bemoaned.

Button shrugged. “Well… It makes me feel powerful wearing it!”

Scootaloo sighed. “Guess that’s better at having you freak out and cry for your mom when things get tough.”

Sweetie Belle turned and glowered at Scootaloo.

“What! He does!” Scootaloo insisted as she motioned towards Button.

“Well, he should be crying out for me!”

“… That’s the part you’re having trouble with?!”

“Hey!” Apple Bloom called out. “Some ponies are walking over to Twilight’s castle!”

“Quick! Behind the cart!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed before she, Scootaloo, and Button quickly made their way behind the parked vehicle.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Right, let’s all gather by the explosives, ‘cause that ain’t dangerous!”

“We're throwing a coup!” Scootaloo shot back. “Danger is now our middle names! Possibly our first and last names, too!”

Sweetie Belle gave Scootaloo a scrutinizing look. “So all four of us are now ‘Danger Danger Danger’?” She took her turn to roll her eyes. “Yeah, that won’t get old anytime soon.”

Scootaloo thought for a moment. “Okay… Maybe we can brainstorm, like… nine synonyms for ‘Danger’!”

Sweetie Belle thought about this for a moment.

“There’s four of us, Scoots!” Apple Bloom pointed out. “We’d need eleven!”

“Hah!” Scootaloo shook her head. “Four times three is twelve, AB! Thought you were supposed to be good at math.”

Apple Bloom gave Scootaloo a smug look. “But one of us can use danger once, so it’s four times three minus one!”

“Oh… right…” Scootaloo said sheepishly.

“Menace?” Sweetie Belle suggested. “Crisis? Risk?”

“Hey, that’s good!” Scootaloo said, pointing at Sweetie Belle. “One of us can be Menace Crisis Risk!”

Apple Bloom rubbed the back of her head. “Kinda a mouthful, doncha think?”

Scootaloo grinned. “We can shorten it to MCR!”

Sweetie Belle seemed to consider this. “I don’t know… Somehow I feel like that would be a good nickname for Fizzlepop…”

“Yeah, I don’t think those are ponies,” Button called out as he squinted off into the distance.

The three fillies collected themselves and joined Button behind the cart.

“He’s right!” Sweetie Belle said as she too squinted off into the distance. “The two front ones are too tall to be ponies and the three in the back…” Sweetie Belle scrunched her lips up. “Are walking on their back legs? Maybe Twilight is getting a visit from a trio of draconequuses?” She frowned. “I don’t know the word a for a group of draconequuses…”

“Uh… A chaos?” Apple Bloom suggested.

“A befuddle!” Button exclaimed.

“Oh, good one!” Sweetie Belle said with a smile.

“Abort!” Scootaloo cried out.

The other three foals looked at her quizzically. “‘A bort’?” Sweetie Belle replied. “Scoots, ‘bort’ isn’t even a word!”

“No! Not ‘A’ bort. Abort! Like… ‘let’s give up’!”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom let out sounds of confusion.

“Yer the one of us who was all gung-ho about preemptively throwing this revolution!” Apple Bloom suggested.

“Yeah!” Scootaloo said. “Against Twilight and other unicorns… Spike maybe… Not a trio of reality warping demi-beasts! I’m excited to enforce sweeping changes to the nation through almost any means necessary, but I’m not suicidal. Even with all the terrible, terrible memories of our cutie mark acquiring attempts stuck in my head!”

“Wait!” Button called out. “I think I have something that’ll help!” He rushed over to his saddle bags with an uneven gait, his right forehoof still stuck in the Mega Glove.

Scootaloo let out a groan. “Button, I’m know you have lots of cool video game accessories, but we’re not going to wait here while you get stuck aga—”

“Found it!” Button said enthusiastically as he held up a flat rectangular object and punctuated his find with a dramatic and melodic. “Da-da-da-duuuuuuun!”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle glanced at Scootaloo and snickered.

Scootaloo’s face tightened. “That doesn’t change the fact that it’s going to be a useless video game enhancer.”

Button once again awkwardly returned behind the cart. “It’s the magnifying lens for my Joyboy!” he said happily as he momentarily showed it off then shoved the lens’ between his gloves thumb and forefinger. “This should make it easier to see!”

“Wow! Good idea, Button!” Apple Bloom said as Sweetie Belle gave Scootaloo a smug smile.

Scootaloo folded her forelegs across her chest. “Okay, so a broken colt is right two times a day… And hey, those were the two times.”

“That’s not how clocks work!” Sweetie Belle snapped.

“I said ‘colt’!”

“That just means your analogy is stupid!” Sweetie Belle retorted.

“Well, your face is stupid!”

They’re not a befuddle!” Button Mash cried out. “Also, Scootaloo, I’m prepared to slap you across the face with the mega glove as hard as I can if it comes to it,” Button said in an even tone.

Sweetie Belle gave Button an adoring smile as Scootaloo raised her forelegs up in front of her defensively. “Right, my bad. I took it too far. You were saying something about a bee-puddle?”

“I said that ‘they’re not a befuddle!” Button repeated.

“A what now?” Apple Bloom asked.

“A group of draconequuses,” clarified Sweetie Belle. She looked amongst the ponies present. “Did we not sign off on that?”

“I thought we aborted?” Scootaloo said.

“Oh!” Button said as he continued to pear through his lense. “They’re like… big cats that walk on their hind legs?”

“Lemme see!” Apple Bloom said. Button held his glove in front of Apple Bloom’s face. Her eyes drifted over a smiling brown-furred feline wearing a red coat with two golden buttons at the top and two shorter black-furred felines in purple outfits complete with capes.  “They’re Abyssinians!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “Feline folk who live in a desert way down south!”

Scootaloo tilted her head. “How do you know that?”

Apple Bloom gave Scootaloo a smug smile. “You have yer hobbies, I have mine!”

“What! Unfair!” Scootaloo said. “You already have math! You can’t have geogiraffy, too!”

“‘Geography’!” Sweetie Belle corrected as she cozied up to Button and peered through the lens.

“See!” Scootaloo motioned to Sweetie Belle. “Sweetie just has the one thing!”

“Uh… Looks like some sort of half-pony half-eagles, entering the castle now,” Sweetie Belle said. “Oh, like that one that helped saved Canterlot!” She practically pressed her field-green eye against the lens. “In fact, I’m sure one of those is her!”

“That’d be the hippogriffs!” Apple Bloom informed. “They’re from even further South than the Abyssinians!”

“Quit showing off!” Scootaloo barked.

Apple Bloom shook her head. “I dunno, girls—”

And Button Mash!” Sweetie Belle stressed.

Button chuckled. “That’s okay, Sweetie… I don’t mind being one of the girls.”

“Uh… Oh?” Sweetie Belle replied as she looked at Button in confusion.

“Yeah!” Scootaloo chimed in. “Button doesn’t need to subscribe to any heteronormative labels just to conform to a toxic societal construct so he’s witnessed defending his masculinity at every turn!”

Everypony turned and stared at Scootaloo blankly for a moment.

“Yes!” Scootaloo pumped a forehoof into the air. “I found my second thing!”

Apple Bloom sighed. “You know, maybe ‘abort’ isn’t such a bad idea.”

“You all told me it was stupid!” Scootaloo snapped. “And I wasn’t even suggesting it as a name so even I think it’s stupid!”

“No! Ah mean like the actual word!”

“What?! Are you kidding?!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “Now we have to go!”

“Are ya sure?!” Apple Bloom said. “Before it was even iffy if we’d have even numbers! Now we’re totally outnumbered!”

Sweetie Belle gave Apple Bloom an unsure look. “Leaving our homes to find our tragic destiny was your idea in the first place!”

Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah! You kept on going on about how you wanted to be cool like Fizzlepop!”

“So cool…” Button whispered.

“Geez, I know!” Sweetie Belle agreed.

Apple Bloom nodded. “Sure! But I thought we’d go to the Everfree Forest for a bit and maybe we could all pick up some survival skills? Learn some sagely wisdom and powerful potions from Zecora?” She nodded towards Button Mash. “Maybe Button coulda got his cutie mark in like… Bear wrestling or bear blastin’ to counter the very real lightnin’ Fizzlepop has.”

“Or I could get it in skeleton slaying!” Button cried out. “Or creeper crushing, or even zombie… uh… Zamboni…ing…”

Sweetie Belle chuckled. “Not real things, Button.”

Scootaloo spoke up, “A Zamboni is a totally real thing! Ha! Score one for Scootaloo, nerd!”

Sweetie Belle wrinkled her brow at Scootaloo. “Okay, but ‘Zomboniing’ isn’t a word.”

“D’uh!” Scootaloo said. “The act of zamboning!”

“That makes even less sense!” Sweetie Belle cried.

Scootaloo smiled at Sweetie Belle. “Betcha like it if you and Button where zamboning right now!”

Sweetie Belle’s face flushed red enough a ripe tomato would return to being green with envy. “Uh… Wha-wha-what makes you—”

“Ah say we put it to a vote!” Apple Bloom said.

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. “You want us to vote on if Sweetie and Button zambone? I mean… I’m relieved they’re a couple, but even watching them smooch too much kinda squicks me out.”

“I vote ‘yes’!” Button said hastily.

Sweetie Belle’s eyes hot open wide as she stared at Button. She began to sweat profusely. “Wow… Uh… This is a bit sudden… and we’re still a little young… so…”

“That’s okay, Sweetie Belle!” Button replied chipperly. “I don’t want to force you into anything you're uncomfortable with!”

Sweetie Belle breathed of a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Button. That makes me feel better…” she glanced around and pointed with a forehoof, “but maybe we could make out a little behind that bush!”

“Again, ew!” Scootaloo said.

“Would ya all focus?!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “Ah meant we should take a vote on if we continue with the coup attempt!”

Scootaloo narrowed her eyes. “That sounds suspiciously like democracy to me!”

The redness in her face slowly becoming a soft pink, Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow. “And that’s worse than the oligarchy we currently have?”

Scootaloo shrugged. “Eh, I’m going for maybe more of an equal socialist outcome, possibly after a complete societal shutdown that forces ponies to fend for themselves in a post-government environment for a bit.”

Once again, blank stares met Scootaloo’s declaration.

Scootaloo continued, “But as long as our actions don’t result in a form of government where power is even more localized, or worse, create some sort of despot or dictator figure who rules with an iron, or cyber fist—”

Button chuckled and held up the mega glove. Stared at it, then quickly brought it down to his chest as he pressed the fingers into a fist, his tongue sticking out as he concentrated on the task.

Sweetie Belle giggled mirthfully at the display.

“—I’m confident our actions can enact sweeping, positive change.” Scootaloo’s smile grew. “And with other countries’ representatives present, we can possibly inflict change on a global scale. So… I vote ‘yay!’”

Apple Bloom nodded in understanding. “Neigh,” she uttered.

“What?! Come on!” Scootaloo cried. “You wanted your tragic backstory! Wanted it more than anything!

Apple Bloom nodded. “Yeah, but now there’s a buncha other creatures that’re gonna get caught up in this! We didn’t account fer that! Who knows what’ll happen with ‘em or how they’ll react?!”

“Tte,” Scootaloo spat out in an annoyed tone. “Guess your new name is ‘Trouble Peril Danger!’”

“… TPD?” Apple Bloom asked in confusion.

“Yeah!” Scootaloo said with a nod. “‘Cause you’re so tepid!”

“…”

Sweetie Belle’s eyes opened in surprise. “Wow… That was really good.”

Scootaloo grinned at Sweetie Belle. “Thanks! I’d been saving that one.”

“Alright,” Apple Bloom said as her sunset-colored eyes did a rotation, “yeah, ya got me good. I still vote ‘neigh!”

Scootaloo sighed and turned towards Sweetie Belle. “Okay, so what’ your vote, Sweetie…”

“Er… Uh…” Sweetie Belle looked between the foals present nervously. “Er… I vote whatever Button votes!”

Scootaloo groaned. “First off, you two throw ‘I love you around’ so much, you could tell time by it!”

Sweetie Belle sighed. “Scootaloo… That analogy makes no sense! You should have said that Button and I say ‘I love you’ so predictably that you could tell time by it!’”

“Alright, cool!” Scootaloo exclaimed in an exasperated tone. “Analogies are your second thing! Point is, you don’t need to try to get Button to like you! It feels like we all spent at least a novel working through that. Second off, there’s no question that Button is going to say—”

“Yay!”

“—that and make me look like an idiot for doubting him a third time.” Scootaloo sighed, crossing her forearms across her chest sullenly. “You think ya know a pony…”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle looked at Button, surprise mirrored across their faces.

“Really?” Apple Bloom said. “Yer really still up for all this? Ah mean… We’re gonna be shootin’ off fireworks indoors! Ah mean… If Ah stop and think about what we’re tryin’ to do for jus’ a second—”

“So don’t think!” Button Mash exclaimed with a huge smile.

“… Kinda par for the course with us,” Sweetie Belle quipped.

“Shhh…!” Scootaloo said as she swatted at Sweetie Belle. “I like this new Button, let’s hear him out.”

“OH! So now you like—”

“Just shut up, okay?!” Scootaloo snapped. “Button’s got ‘impassioned speech’ written all over his face, and aside from a moderately better ability to maintain focus over us three, he needs a second thing!”

Sweetie Belle clamped her mouth closed and looked towards Button. Apple Bloom likewise focused her attention on the young colt.

“Crusaders, we’ve been given an opportunity!” Button began as he paced back in forth as he held his mega glove to his side, though with the three legs it was less dramatic and more awkward-appearing hopping. “An opportunity to turn our tragedy into victory, not just for us, but for pony kind!”

“Can I hum while he’s doing this?” Sweetie Belle asked. “I feel this can use music.”

Alright, fine!” Scootaloo said.

Sweetie Belle began humming an uplifting, stately tune as Button marched on with his speech. “The Princess’s castle has been looming over Ponyville for four score minus most of those four and we’ve all been living in its shadow… I mean… me especially. While the Princess might be unquestionably nice… just like… almost all the time… she needs to be shown her tender-hoofed oppression, or more accurately, mostly unobtrusive help won’t be tolerated forever. It’s time to look past all the selfless acts of self-sacrifice and bravery she’s brought to Ponyville! Time to look past all the times she saved the entire town and even Equestria from certain doom and destruction!”

“… My ‘neigh’ grows by the sentence,” Apple Bloom muttered.

“Shhh! I like it!” Scootaloo countered.

“Twilight has shown time and time again that she can rise to the occasion and save every pony almost single-hoofedly, if need be!” Button leveled his glove fist at the three Crusaders. “Are we…” Trailing off, he brought the glove up to his mouth and grabbed the forefinger with his mouth to turn it into a point which he directed to the three crusaders. “Are we going to just sit back and accept that?”

“… Yes?” Apple Bloom suggested.

“NO!” Button cried. He turned towards the castle and glowered at it. “I don’t know about you three, but I’m tired of having to be saved all the time! I’m tired of just lying back while the villains roll over us as we wait for the Twilight Cavalry to come save the day! It’s time we show Twilight, show Equestria, show the world that the ponies of Ponyville can stand up for themselves and that even if they beat back Twilight, that just means there are still the ponies who beat HER that are ready to fight tooth and hoof!”

Button turned and extended his Mega glove. “So, with an open palm—”

“The glove’s pointing, Button,” Scootaloo said.

Button quickly brought the glove to his mouth and pried open the fingers before extending it again. “So! With an open palm, I ask you to join me! Let’s show Princess Twilight that we’re the toughest of the tough! Not just for ourselves, not just to show Twilight she doesn’t always need to save the day, but to show the entire planet that the ponies of Ponyville are the baddest mother-buckers around and that to even think of messing with our town is to invite a beat—” Button let out a frustrated growl as he brought the glove back to his chest and began closing each digit one-by-one.

Still humming, Sweetie Belle took the fingers in an emerald glow and gently closed them.

Button shot Sweetie a grin before smiling triumphantly and raised his ‘fist’ to the sky before bringing down to the ground hard enough to send grass clumps up into the air. “—invite a beat down on their faces! And we won’t even need any Princesses or super-strong unicorns to do it!” He turned. “No offense Sweetie Belle.”

Sweetie Belle simply beamed in response and dove at Button, wrapped her forearms around him in a tight hug. “None taken!” She kissed Button on the cheek.  “That was incredible!”

“Really?!” Button replied, returning the hug.

“Are you kidding?!” Sweetie Belle said as she broke the hug and looked Button in the eyes. She fluttered her eyelashes at him. “It was so good, I think I just hit puberty…” she purred.

 “Ah’ll say!” Apple Bloom agreed.

“Oh, good!” Scootaloo said. “I was going to feel super awkward if it was just me and Sweetie Belle!”

“What?! No!” Apple Bloom said. She turned towards Button. “I jus’ mean that was a mighty stirring speech.”

Scootaloo looked down. “Something is stirring, alright…”

“HEY!” Sweetie Belle said.

Scootaloo looked up at Sweetie with a grin. “My heart of course!”

“… That’s only marginally better!” shrilled Sweetie Belle.

“Alright, y’all!” Apple Bloom cried out. “Ah’m tryin’ to say that Button’s speech convinced me! Let’s do it for our ourselves, our family, and our pony pride! Yeeeehaaa!”

Sweetie Belle backed away from Button and nodded. “I’m in! I’d follow a brave pony like you to the end of the planet!”

“Aw, shucks!” Button replied with a slight blush. “Thanks, Sweetie Belle!”

“Heh, yeah…” Scootaloo uttered as she gave Button a scrutinizing look. “You are acting a lot braver. You even swore during your speech.”

Button Mash chuckled. “Guess I’ll just have to steal a bit from Twilight’s royal treasury for the swear jar!”

Scootaloo looked over Button another few moments before she turned towards the other girls. “Okay, as much as I’m enjoying ‘Bold New Button’, this pretty much makes no sense since this is Button we’re talking about and he gets scared going out at night to take out the trash!”

Button smirked and held up the mega glove above him. “It’s all in the glove, girls!” Button declared. “It’s so bad…”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “Well if it’s bad, then why’r ya wearing it?”

“He meant ‘bad’ as in ‘good’,” Sweetie Belle clarified.

Apple Bloom grunted in displeasure. “Right… Like Bad Seed... ” She shook her head. “Ya know, language would be a lot easier if ponies stopped takin’ words and changing them to mean the opposite of what they do.”

“Hey! Speaking of the opposite of what we should do,” Scootaloo interrupted, “let’s stop loitering and get this revolt on the road!”

“Nice segue,” Sweetie Belle said as she raised a forehoof.

“Thanks!” Scootaloo replied as she bumped it.

Smiling wide, Button extended his mega glove. “So! What’a’ya say, girls?!”

Three forehooves where thrust on top of the glove.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS—”

“—and Button Mash—”

 REVOLUTIONAR—”

“Wait a tick, girls!” Apple Bloom said. “We already used this one!”

The three other foals frowned before taking on contemplative looks.

“So, Reformers?” Apple Bloom suggested.

Scootaloo shook her head. “Naw… Not extreme sounding enough…” Her lilac eyes lit up. “I got it! Regicide committers!”

 Sweetie Belle cringed. “Dial it back, Scoots… Waaaay back…”

Button smiled. “Rebels!”

“Ohhhh, yes! Definitely!” Sweetie Belle agreed.

“Hay, yeah!” Scootaloo cheered on.

Apple Bloom couldn’t help but grin. “I dunno why, but somehow that sounds better ‘ta me than revolutionaries!”

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS—”

“—and Button Mash—”

 “REBELS, YAY!”