//------------------------------// // Chapter 10 Yin And Yang // Story: Displaced: Crossing Roads // by Slendy //------------------------------// Displaced: Crossing Roads Chapter 10 Yin And Yang WARNING: This is where the story enters alot of offensive puns and jokes that are NOT meant to be taken to heart, they are merely my friend's way of expressing himself, and yes, this was technically a self insert, but I digress. I hope you enjoy my friend's humor! "....Eye spy with my little eye....something....white!" and once again Pinkie, you're clearly a voice of a generation, and i'll still take a gander at it "Hmm....clouds?" I answered, to which everyone groaned in irritation at our banter, but Pinkie still gasped "Yep! Ok, your turn!" She announced, but before I could even speak, a felt a bat 'bonk' me on my muzzle "OW, dammit Gel!" said mare (In disguise) looked at me with distaste as her rune vanished from the air, to which she went back to scanning through the book of magical runes (Yes I know I spelt it wrong before, sue me!), the rest all just glared at Pinkie as she smiled nervously. "Ok, so I get hit with a magical bat, but she only gets glared at? I call bull..." "To be fair, you did start it, that, and its Pinkie, that makes it a stretch? " Selene answered for me, patting me on the back with a leathery wing, yay me... "And your irritating personality is one that deserves to be thrown in front of a train." Gel added with a snort, charming as ever, but right now I was more focused on the fact that its been a month....1 whole month in a land of talking ponies....can't say my life can't get any weirder though "You've said the same thing for almost a week now, can't I get a compliment, Gel?" I asked with a sarcastic grin, which earned a book to the face, funny, didn't see her as the reading type, unless you count runes "Shut it, you irritating, time warping rat!" Wow, that's new, then she sighed. "I still don't understand why you brought me along?" "Twilight asked me to tell you, so take it up with her." I shrugged, as said pony spoke up for my behalf "Well, at first, when I heard that Lumos and Selene had a new roommate, I thought it was only a matter of time until we would get to know you, but from what Ive seen, you're like me." Twilight explained, with I glanced at her, as Gel sat up curiously "'Like you'?" She echoed, as I decided to see where this was going. Can't blame a guy from being curious too "Before, I only cared about my studies and being Princess Celesta's pupil-" more like lap dog.... "But one day, she sent me to Ponyville to observe the celebrations, and make friends, and in the end, I ended up realizing that shutting myself from the world was causing me to lose out on something I didn't know I wanted, Friendships." and we've come full circle! When I looked at Gel, even I saw surprised by her reaction, she seemed conflicted, most likely because of the whole 'Changeling' thing from the wedding, and the fact that she could honestly see the resemblance. Huh? Guess its a small world, hell, even I can relate to that whole 'Shut-in' problem. "Friendships...." Gel muttered, before glancing around all of us, and then her eyes rested on me, as I just guested to Twilight, and she looked at her with a frown, but averted her gaze. "....I guess....I could try, but i'm the worst at making friends." "Join the club!" I added, then Twilight smiled warmly at her "I do like a challenge." She commented as Gel smirked with a glare "Do you worst." She challenged in return, but before Pinkie could begin a whole epic showdown, that could rock the world to its fibers, my eyes, and mouth all seemed to express my next sentence "Hey, Pinkie? Can mountains move on two legs?" I asked as I kept my gaze to the tundra outside "Nope! Silly!" Oh good, then my answer can be justified "Then what in the fucking anti-Christ is that!!?" I screamed as my hoof pointed to the massive shadow outside, to which the rest all looked in my direction, then panicked "What is that thing!!?" Twilight and Selene yelled, as Gel seemed to be preparing another rune as a fail-safe, Pinkie was freaking out like she was having an exorcism "It must be a monster!!!" Dash yelled, as AJ held her back from flying out the train, which we all felt tug in an abrupt halt, sending us flying into each other, with my lungs being crushed by Fluttershy and Selene "Oww...." I groaned, as I felt my liver RKO my lungs in despair, followed by a strike from my ribs "S-Sorry!" Fluttershy gasped, as Selene rolled off of me, smiling warily as I pulled myself up to the window, my head resting on the windowsill, that's when I paused for a moment, as my eyes looked to the giant shadow, as it seemed to look back at us in realization . . . . It big . . . . . . . . way . . . . big . . . . A clock in my head slowly ticked around to strike the '12', once it did, it rung like a massive bus in my head, to which I opened the window slightly and yelled with as much force as I could muster. "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN OUT HERE, YOU ASSHOLE!!!?" At that, I heard a massive, booming voice threaten to burst my eardrums in repent. "OH FUCK ME!!!?" And with that, we watched as the body shrunk into a tiny dot, to which the dot fell, and fell, and I swore I heard more cursing as it finally met the snowy world below. At that, I sighed as I removed the bracelet from my hoof, my armour and body returning as I turned to the others "I found him..." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Holy balls it's cold! I mean, being from the great fuck-up of Northern Ireland makes one naturally adjusted to cold years, and fucked weather patterns, like snow in summer! Or 90 degrees in winter. But this empire was really cold, as me along with the group searched for any signs of my pattern in crime, which was failing miserably. "Are ya sure he's out here!?" AJ asked me, to which I turned back to the snow in concentration "Well either that, or Jesus came back to life.... again!" I yelled back, to which I muttered to myself....until I felt my face burn in pain. "AH FUCKING COCK BITE!" I fell back into the snow in utter pain from the fist poking from the snow, as the others quickly ran to my aid, or in amusement. When I recovered, I sat up to look at the frozen glove-fist, to which Twilight spoke up. "Is he....ok?" Twilight asked me in concern, to which I calmly replied "I hope he's dead, and that it was just a reflex." I bluntly stated, to which their faces of horror were priceless, but I sighed, and turned to the hand. "Howya been?" ". . ." He didn't speak, as I saw his hand wobble from side-to-side "Spectacular, now, if you're done being a Destiny Guardian doing the mountain parkour challenge, speak!" I ordered in irritation, to which I heard a muffled reply "Suck my salty balls!" Ok, I've had it....and judging by the confused expressions on my companions faces, they were too "Either you tell me how you somehow avoided civilization for a month, or I leave your lonely ass in the snow!" ah, that got a reply "Well....you can't be mad at me..." No...no....no! "What did you do?" I asked sternly "You promise not to be mad?" He repeated, but I was already beginning to regret visiting the empire now "What. Did you. Do?" I repeated calmly "Ok, first off, I was minding my own business-" at that, I grabbed his gloved-hand and snapped it with a resounding crack, to which he laughed in response, but the others all nearly fainted at the sound "Bullshit!" "I waaaas~" He complained, as I dropped his hand to the snow again "And what were you doing whist you were 'minding your own business'." I grunted, as his hand snapped into place, before pointing at me "Ok, so I was just relaxing in a tundra with my Glens, my wolves, when I found something!" He began, as we all listened to his tale ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Huh, that's a big building, cool. lets invade, shall we glen pack." looking behind me i see the small pack of wolves look at me in what i assume is admiration... or hunger. can't tell. feeling a gnawing on my leg i see Glen #1 starting to chew again. rolling my eyes i shake him off and crush its infant head under my boot like the disgusting creature it is. Spinning on my bloodied heel i stare at the enraged wolves "Yes my minions, use that newfound rage and use it well, for we have a fortress to conquer and mortals feed upon." using my powers over the mind i force the wolves to ignore their child and we begin marching toward the large metal building. 'Lets see, i can shape-shift so who shall i be for this little party. Kreig, Cayde-6, the dragon born, Asterus, the unkindled one, Happy... the fuck, Qrow. Hold on... YES, im feeling something witty and entertaining. lets be Kirito, the almighty God of swords and/or harems.' "Insert dramatic effect! CHARGE!!!" To which I picked up the corpse of the wolf pup, and swung it faster than Negan to Glen's head at the iron door ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "And so I broke in. Killed all of them. And released Sombra." He quickly summed up for us in about 10 seconds, to which we all did a double take on the last part "Wait, you did what?" I asked, as everyone shared my concern "Oh yeah, I released good old Doctor Sombrero!" He answered, as all of us looked to the now surfaced Hades, from Hercules, as he ignited his hair again, to which we all screamed at my borderline, retarded friend "YOU RELEASED SOMBRA!!?" To which he fell back into the snow "Why are we not questioning why he's still alive?" He retorted, before I stood up, and grabbed him by his cloak, to which he quickly burst in a fit of laughter. "Oh gods, i'm still taller than you!" "You fucking degenerate idiot-" "Why thank you!" he replied with a grin "Were. The fuck. Did he go?" I asked dangerously, as he broke into another fit of laughter, to which he pointed in the direction of the empire-wait....he knew where he.... "Are you saying, for a whole month, you knew where the empire was!?" "What are ya, gay!? It's a city made of luminous fucking crystal id have to be a proper fag not to see it, I could see it from up there!?" To which he pointed to the sky, and so I dropped him before he could laugh, and I rubbed my mask's face "Wait, I though he was your friend, why would he release Sombra!?" Dash questioned, to which I sighed in irritation "Friend, yes, pain in my ass, yes." I replied, as I pointed to the train. "Can we please get on the train, save the empire, and then you can question why I haven't gutted this moron!" "...Fuck you got me there...." Erebus scoffed, as he was already at the train. "I like trains." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Back on the train, everyone watched as me and Erebus kept going back and forth in our argument, mainly about how he thought touching a crystal that glowed purple, in a bad-guy's base was a good idea. "-Of all the things, you released him, I mean, I like the guy, he's a good villain, but seriously!?" I countered, to which replied "One, it was glowing purple, two, and I did not know it was a bad-guy-base, I was just killing for the fun of it." He countered, and I proceeded to bury my head in my hands as I felt my brain stop functioning "Ok, Ok, why are you two fighting? I though you were best friends?" Twilight frowned, as we both looked at each other, before bursting into fits of laughter. "W-What's so funny?" "Its just that, you could never understand how our friendship works!?" I answered through my laughing fit, to which Erebus helped to answer "One second we are Natsu and Grey, the next, were a stereotypical Bestie duo!" He replied, before changing into Grey, clothes not included, to which most of the ponies avoided eyes contact with him, all red in the face. "What, afraid of snakes are we?" "God fucking dammit, change into someone else!?" I snapped, as I too avoided to be scarred again , once I heard a click of fingers, I turned to see probably the best representation for Erebus, Alucard. "Well....I can't complain...." "I'm a real fucking vampire." Erebus replied, as he held Cassul and Jackel in each of his hands, but a frozen balloon made it difficult to hold Cassul. "Stupid balloon..." "Wait...you're a...vampire?" Selene asked warily, to which Erebus smirked "Well, atleast I can relate to you." He answered, and for once, Selene looked irritated, that was new "Oh for Luna's sake, i'm a Therstral, not a vampire." She sighed in irritation as Erebus waved her off "I know that, I just don't care." Great to know you two will love each other, that's when I saw Fluttershy hiding behind AJ and Pinkie "Fluttershy, you know he isn't going to hurt you, he has a weakness to cuteness." I saw Erebus going for a retort, but my blade had already pierced his head, pinning him to his seat, and in that one instance, everyone freaked out, again "Hahaha-guah-fuck that's annoying!" Erebus replied, nearly scarring the lot as he pulled his head out of the blade, not leaving a scratch "What are you!?" Gel questioned in fear, as she held her book close to her chest, and before I could let him scar them, I spoke up "He's a guy who is very, VERY, hard to kill, so don't freak out," I answered, then I looked to Fluttershy, who had now vanished under the seats. "Sorry, Shy, didn't mean to scare ya..." "I-It's fine, I-I know he's nice, e-even if he doesn't s-show it..." She shakily replied, but I decided to not stop the words that left the fucker's mouth this time "I can't say I am....but I can tolerate things, as long as they aren't thieves, liars, or rapists, other than that, you're safe. Oh! And petty people, like feminists!" You truly are a voice of a generation, but, I guess I can't hope for much, that's when I saw Twilight's shocked look as she peered out the window "Twi, what's-oh....shit balls...." I muttered, as we all looked towards the empire, or what's become of it, heck, even Erebus was surprised "It's like a Zerg rush up in here!" Erebus replied, as we watched the smoke rise into the air, with buildings, now black and void, twisting in odd angles as they formed in the center, the fortress was nearly all black, with gold running like veins across its surface, it was corrupted "What have you done?" Rarity gasped, as I narrowed my gaze at the scene before me "Is it too late to say, my bad?" Erebus, shut it! "I hope you all know what hell is like, cause we're on a non-stop ride to the epicenter." I answered, as we approached the fall of the empire To Be Continued....