What If...

by TheMajorTechie

Randomness happened 2?

"ALRIGHT, YA HEY'in DWEEBS, HANDS UP!" Spike shouted as he kicked the door open to the base of operations of an underground cult.

"Excuse me," a stallion deadpanned as he set down his playing cards, "What was that again?"

Spike rushed angrily to the stallion, shoving the bayonet attached to his AK-47 against the neck of the pony.

"I said," Spike repeated, "You're a CHILD FRIENDLY!'in DWEEB, ya--"

Spike blinked, realizing what he had said.

"ShSTOP IT!." Spike said under his breath, following up with "FLISTEN!k, dI SAID STOP IT!... uh, freakin' crap."


Spike cleaned an ear with a claw.


Just then, the mare that the voice belonged to-- Pinkamena Diane Pie, or 'Pinkie', as she was commonly known as, trudged into the room, her head hung low as she placed a glass of water on the table that the stallion had been sitting at. With a nod, and a mischievous wink towards Spike, she disappeared back into the side room she had entered from.

"What." Spike said flatly, dropping the gun and unknowingly releasing the stallion.

"You'll never catch me, ya cI'LL BE COMING FOR YOU!!"

This time, it was the stallion who paused upon hearing a certain pink mare's voice blot out his words. Unfortunately, this was enough time for Spike to tackle and capture the pony with a swift and definitely-not-fatal barrage of fire.

"Your highness," Spike began, kneeling before the Princesses, "I have captured the saboteur."

"Arf." Celestia nodded, turning to her fellow canine sisters, who made various dog-related noises in agreement.

"Very well then, Spike continued, his eyes fooled into the illusion of the Princesses sitting before him being ponies. "I shall return to my chambers until you deploy me once more."

As Spike left, the four (five, counting the puppy,) alicorn-dog-things howled in their victory.

And Pinkie Pie went to the grocery store to buy some silverware.