//------------------------------// // Chapter 1: Four Funerals and a Bad Decision // Story: VIVA la CMC'TION avec Button Mash! // by Justice3442 //------------------------------// With heavy saddlebags -and an even heavier heart, Button Mash took one last glimpse at his home. A home that had once been filled with joy and love, but now only contained memories that left a bitter aftertaste on his tongue. This was the home he had grown up in. The home where his Mom and Dad raised him, and where he hung out with his older brother. The home he had spent so many days and nights playing games with his friends… The home where he had confessed his feelings to his marefriend… …Sweetie Belle… Button shut his eyes tightly as tears soaked his amber eyes. It was too late for Sweetie Belle, too late for his friends… It was even too late for him... The damage was done and there was no going back. He turned now to face the purple door to his home, likely for the last time. Its high-set oval window allowed the shining light from outside into the house, light that illuminated the otherwise... Button paused and looked around the house once more. Admittedly, the entryway was very well lit from the massive crisscross windows on either side of the house that flooded the area with daylight. Still, the light specifically from the doorway spoke to Button. It spoke of new beginnings and a hopefully a better tomorrow… and, you know… more days after that. It didn’t speak literally, of course. Button wasn’t crazy. Not yet anyway. Sure, the events that had just transpired had broken his spirits a bit, but not his mind. No. Button Mash was decidedly NOT crazy. But he was going to wander into the Everfree Forest with nothing but the saddlebags on his back. With a final sigh, Button turned towards the door for what was sure to be the last time and reached for the knob that would open the door to his brand-new life. “Button, sweetie?” a feminine voice full of once happy memories and now lost maternal joy spoke out. Button froze. He took a deep breath and let it out in a sorrowful sigh. He had tried to avoid this dramatic situation, but it seemed fate- wicked, cruel, and dare-he-think, the evil mistress that it was- had other ideas. His Mom wouldn’t understand. She’d try to stop him. But this had to be done! There was no turning back. Button turned back. … Okay, so there was some possibility of turning back, but Button knew he would soon turn back to what was previously his front and what was now front would soon be back… Forever. …’Back’ in this sense meaning, ‘behind him’, not ‘back’ in the sense that meant ‘back in his life’ or anything. “Button?” Button’s mother once again called out as she took a few steps forward. “Are you feeling okay? Are you sick? You’re just standing in front of the door and making faces.” “I’m fine, Mom,” Button deadpanned. He wasn’t fine, of course. He was pretty bucking far from fine! His life had been completely, irreversibly changed. And now he had to put a mental bit in the mental swear jar on top of everything! “Uh… Okay…” Love Tap said in an unsure tone. “If you say so…” “I do say so!” Button fired back. “Right, it’s just that… Well… You’ve been talking to me while avoiding eye contact, Sweetie. That almost always means you’re lying to me.” With a look of determination, Button did his best to force his focus onto his mother. “Okay, now you’re avoiding eye contact with me while looking like you need to go to the bathroom.” Love Tap sighed. “Button, what’s wrong?” She cast a curious glance at the practically overflowing saddlebags on Button’s back that her son was shouldering with surprising ease. “Are you going to see Sweetie Belle?” “Sweetie’s gone, mom,” Button replied coldly. “And she’s not coming back.” Love Tap thought for a moment. She had heard a rather heated argument between Button, Sweetie, and their two best friends earlier today from the game room, but the four getting into overblown squabbles over video games was so commonplace that Love Tap rarely inspected unless either it sounded like stuff was being thrown or broken, Button was REALLY screaming the house down, or Sweetie Belle lost her cool and annihilated a wall with emerald green rage magic. That last one was usually pretty adorable once Love Tap got over the fact that the house would need to be repaired again. However, the realization that things might have gotten so bad that Sweetie Belle stormed out after breaking off her relationship with Button hit Love Tap like a slap to the face. She let out a gasp so sharp and pained one could practically hear her heartbreak. “Button… Sweetie…” Water began to fill Love Tap’s steel blue eyes. “I’m, I’m so sorry! This can’t be easy for you!” Button shook his head and turned to the door, this time for the last time for sure. “Well… There’s nothing I can do about it now,” he replied stoically as he reached for the knob again, also for the last time. Tears began to flow out Love Tap’s eyes and down her cheeks. “Button, please! Let’s talk about this! You adored Sweetie Belle. You—” Love Tap’s words began to stick in her throat, threatening to choke the mare “—you loved her! And she l-loved you, too! This can’t be easy for you!” “There’s nothing easy about this,” Button replied in near monotone. “I know! Sweetie Belle meant the world to you… It must be horrible!” Love Tap glanced at the ceiling. “I mean… I can only imagine… ” She looked back down at her son, her lips puffed out and tears still flowing.  “But… Do you need a hug? Because I sure do…” Button shook his head. “Hugs won’t fix anything … Nothing will.” “But… but… You can talk to Sweetie Belle! I’m sure it’s just a big misunderstanding! I’m sure you two had a big fight, but these things happen! Maybe you can talk to each other!” Love Tap forced a hopeful smile to her face. “Maybe you don’t have to break up.” Button turned, this time looking his Mom dead in the eye; Love Tap silently wished her son would go back to avoiding eye contact with her. There was no happiness in those previously bright amber eyes. There was only the chill of regret. “Sweetie Belle and I didn’t break up, Mom. She’s gone.” A thought occurred to Love Tap that the parsing of her son’s earlier assertion of what happened with Sweetie Belle might have been rather optimistic. All at once, Love Tap felt it, an emotional sucker punch so hard that it robbed the air from her lungs and threatened to send her reeling to the floor. “N-no…” she whispered. Button nodded. “She’s gone. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo too…” Something like a shriek tried to leave Love Tap’s mouth, but it tripped on a sob and only a quiet, high pitched wail came out in a short burst. It was all too much. How would her dear friend Rarity take it?! How would Apple Bloom’s sister, brother, and grandma? How would Scootaloo’s… uh…  Parents… Guardians… How would Rainbow Dash take it?! Before her emotions could wrestle her to the ground, she managed to choke out a single word. “H-how?!” Button clenched his eyes shut. “Don’t force me to remember.” “Damnit, Button!” Love Tap screamed. “You have to tell me how!” “That’s one bit, Mom,” Button said. “What?” Buttoned sighed at her before he turned. Great! Guess he’d have to look at the door one more time… unless… “You said a bad word! So that’s a bit for the swear jar!” “I DON’T BUCKING CARE ABOUT THE SWEAR JAR, BUTTON! TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO SWEETIE BELLE AND YOUR FRIENDS!” “… two…” Button closed his eyes and turned to the door, once more. However, he kept his eyes closed so that technically the last time he had looked at the door, was, in fact, the last time. “It was a mining accident…” Button informed. “You always know how Sweetie Belle liked diamonds…” Button looked up towards the ceiling and added a wistful, “She tried so hard to be like her big sister…” A tiny smile cracked Button’s otherwise stony expression. “But the prettiest gemstone in the world was nothing compared to the radiance of Sweetie Belle.” Another sound exited Love Tap’s mouth. This time the shriek and the sob got a little further, and it was followed by more crying and maybe some wailing as she slumped to the ground, her body unable or unwilling to support the heavy weight of three - gone now, forever - fillies that pulled at her heart. She knew those three were always getting into dangerous things that no filly should attempt unsupervised. She knew, and she did nothing to stop it. Now her son was alone and she had no one to blame but herself… …Herself, as well as all the filly’s guardians, friends, and pretty much the entire town. “I have to go, Mom,” Button said as he lowered his head and… Damnit! He just looked at the door again and that was two mental bits for him! Through the screams and wails, Love Tap choked out a quick. “No-o! Wa-Wait! B-Button! Le-Let’s t-t-t…” It was no use. Whatever supernatural strength Button had found in the loss of his best and closest friends was keeping him coherent enough to deal with the situation at hoof, but it did Love Tap no good. The pain she felt inside was worse than anything she had ever felt. That was saying something… Button’s brother Gibson had a huge head when he was a newborn. Button put his forehoof on the doorknob and turned it. He spoke once more, but his voice had grown pained and distant. “There was just… so much lava.” All of the overwhelming emotions Love Tap were feeling suddenly came to a screeching halt and she stared at her son in utter disbelief. “Lava?! Wait, are you talking about Mine—” Button threw open the front door and trotted outside. “Button, Sweetie! WAIT!” Love Tap called out. She broke into a gallop after her son. “Mommy needs to know—” Love Tap got as far as the top step to the house outside and froze, almost unable to believe her eyes. “Hi, Sweetie Belle!” Button greeted cheerfully. “Hi, Button!” Sweetie Belle greeted back as the pair wasted no time embracing one another, despite the cumbersome saddlebags on both their backs. “Heya, Button!” Apple Bloom greeted, her back likewise loaded. “Hi, Apple Bloom!” Button replied with a wave and a smile as he and Sweetie Belle broke their hug. “Button, my man!” Scootaloo exclaimed, laden down with nearly overflowing saddlebags like the others. “What is up?” she asked extending a forehoof. “Nothin’ but the sky and a napping pegasus, Scoots!” Button replied giving Scootaloo a sly smile as the two shared a hoof bump. “Hah! Good one!” Scootaloo replied. Sweetie Belle smiled at Button. “Well? Shall we get going.” Button Mash nodded. “Yep! I’m all ready to go!” Scootaloo smirked and extended a forehoof. “Well, then you better all bring it in!” The other three foals extended their forehooves to join Scootaloo’s. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS—” “—and Button Mash—” “—EXILES, YA—!” “NOW WAIT JUST A BUCKIN’ MINUTE HERE!” The girls and Button Mash gasped and turned to face Love Tap. “Mom!” Button Mash exclaimed. “Now you need to put three real bits in the real swear jar!”  “I don’t give a buck about that!” Apple Bloom put on a worried look and covered her ears. “Four bits!” Scootaloo raised a forehoof. “For the record, next time I get called out for cussing, I’m throwing you under the cart. Nothing personal.” “Fine!” Love Tap growled out. “But what the hay—” “Five bits!” “—is the bucking—” “Six bits!” “Button!” Love Tap snapped. “Shut the buck up!” “Sev-MMMPH!” Button quickly found himself cut off as Sweetie Belle dove toward him and covered his mouth. She gave Love Tap a nervous smile. “Button told me you three were dead!” The three fillies looked up at Love Tap nervously. “Er… We kinda are…” Sweetie Belle admitted sheepishly. Apple Bloom let out a tragic sigh. “Yeah… It happened so quickly there was nothin’ anypony could do!” Scootaloo exhaled through her nose. “Just a terrible tragedy!” “Uh-whawha! Uh-whawha!” Button said. “… What was that, Button?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Uh, Sweetie Belle?” Apple Bloom said. “Ya gotta take your hoof off his mouth.” “Oh, right....” Sweetie Belle complied. “I said ‘the horror! The horror!” Button informed. Sweetie Belle smiled and leaned in to give Button another hug. “It’s okay, Button… We’ll get through this… Together!” “Get through what?!” Love tap exclaimed. “You three are clearly not dead!” “Well, d’uh!” Scootaloo replied. “I mean, technically, Button’s dead too!” “Mmm-hmmm!” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom agreed, nodding their heads up and down. Love Tap squinted hard at the four foals in front of her. They looked solid enough, and well… Since when did GHOSTS need to pack anything?! They had to be alive! But Button had looked her straight in the eyes when he said the girls were gone! And… and… …Mining… …Lava… “Oh for Celestia’s buckin’ sake!” “Eight!” “Don’t tell me you four just died playing Minecraft!” The four foals exchanged uncomfortable looks. “Oh, my bucking sun and moon deities!” “Nine!” “You did!” Sweetie Belle suddenly looked ashamed lowered her head and stared at the ground. “Sorry… I was mining for diamonds… I accidentally mined into a lava pool and…” Sweetie Belle’s eyelids wrinkled as her emerald eyes filled with tears. “It’s all my fault!” “Aww…” Button Mash leaned in once more and embraced Sweetie Belle who wasted no time in crying into his shoulder. “There, there, Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom said. “It could’a been any of us!” Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “For the record, I completely blame Sweetie Belle.” “Scootaloo!” Button and Apple Bloom snapped while Sweetie Belle’s crying grew louder. “What?!” Scootaloo protested as she motioned towards Sweetie Belle. “It was her fault!” Love Tap let out an annoyed sigh. Truthfully, she had never been more relieved in her entire life. Still, the way that Button had gone about this had taken years off her life. Not to mention he and the girls were simply being ridiculous! “Why didn’t you four just grab some more gear from your home and mine somewhere else?!” “Because there was no home to go back to,” Button replied in the same cold tone he had used back in the house. “Of course there was a home to go back to!” Insisted Love Tap. “You all would have respawned back there!” “Right, sorry…” Button replied. “There was a home but it’s gone now!” “Okay... Why?” Love Tap asked. Sweetie Belle parted from her coltfriend as she, Button, and Apple Bloom all stared accusingly at Scootaloo. “Okay, okay!” Scootaloo said as she glanced skywards and tossed up a forehoof. “So mistakes were made, tantrums were thrown, and dynamite was set off in mass quantities!” She looked back down at her friends. “The important thing is we try to look past this tragedy and move on…” Love Tap let out a sigh, this time it finally brought with it the relief that had previously been embroiled with her other emotions. “I’m glad one of you is finally talking sense!” Scootaloo continued, “... by leaving our families forever and going to live in the Everfree Forest.” “Right!” The remainder of the foals chorused  “And, like that, it’s gone!” Love Tap uttered with an annoyed expression. With a sigh, the elder pony trotted up to the foals and began eyeing their saddle bags. “Listen, if you four need to cool off and do something else, I can understand… But don’t exile yourselves into the Everfree Forest!” The three fillies all groaned. “Button! You shouldn’t have told her!” Scootaloo griped. “I didn’t!” Button insisted. “She caught up to me while I was leaving.” “Look, just… Go camping somewhere safe!” Love Tap said. “Or…” She looked over the saddlebags again, her face falling deeper and deeper into an ocean of confusion as she spied tiny glittery bronze ponies, plushies, and the edges of controls, none of which would prove useful outside. “Just have a slumber party?” Love Tap said, asking as much as suggesting. “You can even have it here!” the matronly mare smiled. “I’ll make you all French toast! You four love French toast!” “I’m sorry, Mrs. Love Tap,” Apple Bloom said, “but we ain't just campin’ and we ain't having no slumber party neither!” “But almost none of you are even prepared to sleep outside on a lawn, let alone the Everfree Forest!” Love Tap insisted. She shook her head. “Apple Bloom, It looks like you at least packed a bunch of apples and a bedroll as well as some other supplies.” Apple Bloom nodded. “Be prepared!” she said with a smile. “That’s what Granny, Big Mac, and ma sister are always tellin’ me!” Love Tap gave Apple Bloom a small smile and continued. “Sweetie Belle, your bags appear to be full of mostly just toys…” “My song writing notepads are in there, too, you know!”  Sweetie Belle protested. “Plus we’re going away, like, for forever! We’ll need something so we don’t get bored!” “Well, not forever!” Scootaloo said. “Right, jus’ till we grow up into mean adults and terrorize Equestria!” Apple Bloom said. Love Tap’s expression seemed to grasp for the precious air of sense but simply started drowning in confusion. She decided to shelve what she had heard for the sake of her comprehension for the time being. She walked over to Scootaloo and gave the orange pegasus’s saddle bags a good once-over. “Scootaloo, it looks like you just packed your scooter and a bunch of trophies…” Love Tap leaned in close and ran her eyes over one of the engravings. “And they’re not even yours!” “I wanted to be inspired, okay?!” Love Tap sighed and walked over to her son. Rather than give a cursory inspection, she immediately opened the d-pad like clasp on his bag and began rifling through what he had packed. “Button, you’re only marginally better than Scootaloo. You packed a bag of nacho cheese flavored chips, one two-liter bottle of soda…. Button, this is not enough food sustain yourself for almost any period of time and this soda offers pretty much no nutritional value!” Sidestepping so she was in front of Button, she threw up a forehoof. “What are you going to if it gets cold?! What are you going to eat when you run out of chips?!” Button gave Love Tap a blank expression. “I was going to punch trees for wood, build a house and farm for wheat… I mean, I figure I can ration the chips for a couple days, but I should have a good harvest by then!” Love Tap’s steel blue eyes opened wide in shock as her mouth unhinged and she stared at her son in disbelief. She slowly turned to stare at Button’s friends. Sweetie Belle was blushing so hard it seemed her entire face might turn red. Apple Bloom likewise had a disbelieving look, but she’d also occasionally stare at Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. As if Button was simply the worst offender of the ‘does not understand sleeping outside as a basic concept’ club.  “Hey, don’t look at us!” Scootaloo shot out. “You’re the parent here.” “Sorry,” Sweetie Belle offered meekly., “but Scootaloo is right. It really is your job to make sure Button is instilled with a healthy understanding of how reality works.” Apple Bloom nodded her head in agreement. Scootaloo continued. “Really, if anyone has the poor, unfortunate job of crushing Button’s youthful exuberance, it’s you!” she pointed at Love Tap. All at once, Love Tap’s features tightened as she shot a disappointed look out at nothing. “You know what? This really is my bad.” She looked down at Button. “I should have instilled a better sense of how the world outside our house works into you.” “… Do what now?” Button replied, his muzzle practically buried in his Joyboy as he tapped away at the buttons. “Give me THAT!” Love Tap exclaimed as she snatched the device from her son. “Moooommm…!” Button whined. “I was playing that!” “I’m trying to make sure you and your friends don’t do something stupid that’ll get you all killed or scarred for life!” Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Better late than never, I suppose.” Love Tap glowered wordlessly at Scootaloo. Scootaloo sighed. “Sorry… Just… you know… Some adult intervention for some of our Cutie Mark acquiring ideas would have been nice… I’m not saying the adults of Ponyville are completely responsible for the horrific dreams that are so bad Princess Luna has scheduled bi-weekly visits with all of us. Just that they’re mostly responsible.” Button turned and raised an eyebrow at Scootaloo. “You know you three, specifically, have probably permanently traumatized me, right? I mean… I get the shakes whenever I so much as glimpse at a parachute!” Button turned away from the group cast a thousand yard stare out across what was essentially Twilight’s courtyard. “You’d kinda think maybe you three would’ve learned after the first few super dangerous or scary things, but you sort of just got back up. Like when the school hamster gets back on his wheel and runs full speed even though he just got flung off. Just sayin’. ”   Sweetie Belle winced. “Sorry, Button…” Apple Bloom frowned. “Yeah, that’s certainly our bad.” “But it’s also your parents’ bad!” Scootaloo added as she tossed a glare in Love Tap’s direction. Love Tap’s glare tightened. “Scootaloo, you know I love you all—“ “Me especially!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. “Yes, Sweetie Belle especially. But as Button pointed out, you three are responsible for his most horrific nightmares; so, for your sake, take it down a notch.” “Right, sorry,” Scootaloo said, “is it okay if I blame my problems on society in general?” Love Tap nodded. “That’s acceptable.” She let out a sigh. “Okay… Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, I know for a fact that you two should know what to bring on a camping trip! Leaving aside the fact that ‘moving into the woods’ is just sheer insanity, why didn’t you two actually pack some essentials?!” “D’uh,” Scootaloo replied, “we’re had to prioritize! I mean… we can never come back!” Scootaloo and Button nodded their heads in agreement. Love Tap rolled her eyes. “Alright, from now on if you four are going camping without consulting an adult first, which is not something you should ever do, I should add—” Apple Bloom’s forehoof shot up. “Go camping, or not tell an adult?” Love Tap sighed. “Not tell an adult, Apple Bloom!” Apple Bloom nodded. “Gotcha…” “—anyhow, if for whatever reason, you find yourselves in this situation, Apple Bloom is in charge of packing!” Apple Bloom pumped a forehoof up and down as the other foals frowned. “Well, yeehaw!” “…And nothing else!” “Awww…” Apple Bloom uttered as the other three snickered. “Sorry, Apple Bloom,” Love Tap said, “but you kinda lost your right to be considered ‘most responsible’ when I had to qualify my statement about talking to an adult.” “No, that’s fair,” Apple Bloom replied. “Really that was my title to lose.” Love Tap went back to rifling through her son’s bag. “Not that I should be surprised, but you also packed as many consoles and video games you could shove in your bags.” Love Tap couldn’t help but take a moment to raise a forehoof to her face and let out a sigh. “Button, why did you pack all these if you’re going to the Everfree Forest? Most these systems need to be plugged in, and the rest take batteries that are going to die on you within a few days at MOST!” Button glanced at Sweetie Belle. “I thought Sweetie Belle could power them with her magic.” “What?” Sweetie Belle squeaked out in surprise. “Why’d you think I could even do that?!” Button shrugged. “I don’t know! You have magic and, uh… Maybe Twilight taught you a spell to create electricity?!” Sweetie Belle sighed. “Button! The only thing I know how to do is levitate stuff and fire giant green beams of pure destructive magical energy when I’m mad!” Sweetie Belle glanced away from Button for a moment as her cheeks blushed pink. “Like if somepony hurts you or makes fun of you…” she murmured. “… Mom, I think I just hit puberty…” “Oh, for the love and light of the sun! What even brought this on?!” Love Tap exclaimed. “I get you’re all upset, but exiling yourselves because of a video game snabu—” “…ten?” Button said in an unsure tone. Scootaloo thought for a moment. “I don’t think it counts if the swear is part of an acronym, Button.” “… nine and a half?” Sweetie Belle squinted. “Wait… ‘snabu’ stands for something?!” “Yeah,” Apple Bloom agreed, “Ah thought it was just a thing ponies say when stuff goes wrong.” Scootaloo chuckled. “Well, yeah! Now they do, but it stands for: ‘situation normal: all bucked up!’” “Now you need to put a bit in the swear jar, Scootaloo,” Button said. “There’s not going to be any swear jars where we’re heading!” Scootaloo countered with a victorious grin. “Oh, would you four just bucking listen to me?!” Love Tap exclaimed in an exasperated tone. “Okay, well that was definitely ten…” Button said. Love Tap rolled her eyes and continued. “Just tell me why you four are even humoring that this is something you have to do.” “Shucks, Mrs. Love Tap,” Apple Bloom began, “well… we jus’ figured that when something really bad happens to a little foal, they don’t have a choice but to run away from home!” “…WHAT IN THE BUCKING HAY KIND OF HORSE APPLE TALK IS THAT?!” Sweetie Belle dove behind Button as the colt counted out “Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen.” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo chose to take a couple steps back. “Look, none of us want to do this!” Apple Bloom insisted. “I kinda do…” Scootaloo said. Apple Bloom sighed. “Well, Scoots kinda does, but… We’ve been talking to Princess Twilight’s friends, and—” “I… WHAT?!” Love Tap looked over the foals present. She immediately ruled out Applejack and Rarity as culprits. Rainbow Dash was a maybe, mostly only unlikely because Scootaloo wouldn’t have hesitated to mention her by name. Fluttershy was a possibility. The quiet mare did get along with animals, and maybe she vastly underestimated the threat the Everfree Forest represented for ponies that couldn’t talk to animals. Pinkie Pie might be crazy enough to suggest such a thing as well. Though, the pink mare had lots of experience with children. In fact, even the more likely candidates from the list seemed nearly impossible. “What friends of Twilight’s could you possibly be talking about?” Scootaloo grinned. “You know. Er… The purple one? Uh… Glim-Glam, or something?” Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “Starlight Glimmer.” “Right, her!” Scootaloo said. “Ah…” Love Tap practically sighed out. Word had gotten out that the unicorn had once ruled a small village of her own via magic and maybe brainwashing. There were also rumors floating about that she’d caused some other disturbances amongst the town and Twilight’s friends, all magic related. Starlight seemed nice enough, but there was something eerie about how the unicorn acted in Love Tap’s eyes. It was almost as if she didn’t quite understand the concept of friendship… No… that wasn’t it… She had friends she seemed to care about. It was more like she couldn’t grasp the concept of morals and was perhaps faking that so she could coexist with the townspeople for the sake of fitting in. “Well… That explains some of it, I suppose…” Scootaloo grinned. “Yeah! Turns out Starlight had this one friend that went away to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns when he got his cutie mark! See, she was left all alone and then snapped!” “And then she declared war on cutie marks!” Sweetie Belle added. “And that’s the rest...” Love Tap grumbled. “And there’s a rumor or two confirmed... “ Love Tap muttered under her breath. Apple Bloom glanced skyward and tapped at her chin. “Y’all ever wonder what our lives would’a been like had we met Starlight Glimmer before we got our marks?” “Wait!” Love Tap exclaimed, as much to get everypony’s attention as to derail Apple Bloom’s train of thought. “You said friends, plural…” Love Tap pursed her lips. “Is that Trixie mare hanging out at the castle again?” Sweetie Belle giggled. “Yeah… I don’t think she has a tragic backstory, though…” she said, shaking her head.  “I mean… aside the time she came to Ponyville and Snips and Snails attracted an Ursa Minor for her to fight.” Button piped up. “And the time she took over the town!” Love Tap glared out into space. “Nice to hear our neighbor is harboring terrorists under her roof.” The foals present frowned up at Love Tap. “Mom,” Button paused and looked up at Tap’s face pitifully, “That’s… kinda mean…” “Yeah!” Sweetie Belle agreed. “Also, harboring implies it’s against the law. They got, like… Twilight’s pardon, so it’s more like house arrest.” Love Tap sighed and raised a forehoof to her forehead. “I know, Sweetie! It’s just that… Well, I’m afraid one or more of you will get hurt, and I know those two are trying their hardest to be good! Mommy shouldn’t judge.” Scootaloo nodded.  “Definitely! Though, it’s a little different from house arrest considering the part where they can leave whenever they want, go wherever they want, and pretty much do whatever they want!” Apple Bloom tapped at her chin thoughtfully for a moment. “So really… It’s more like complete freedom.” Love Tap let out yet another sigh. “Really trying my hardest to be open-minded here, everypony…” Scootaloo chimed in once more, “ Also, I don’t think Trixie is trying… Like… at all…” Love Tap turned and fired off an unamused expression down a pathway that ended at Twilight’s rather large doorstep. “Still,” Scootaloo continued, “it’s not like either Starlight or Trixie has anything on Fizzlepop Berrytwist!” The other foals nodded in agreement. “She’s jus’ so cool looking!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, practically bursting with excitement. “I really like her mane!” Sweetie Belle swooned. Button Smiled. “She’s like the tougher, scarier, cooler version of Starlight Glimmer!” “What?” Love Tap replied. “Twilight found another one?” “Yeah!” Apple Bloom said excitedly. “She’s super tough!” “And she’s a unicorn!” Sweetie Belle added. “With an awesome broken horn!” Button Mash piled on. “And a wicked scar going down her eye!” Scootaloo concluded as the final cherry on top. Love Tap pursed her lips slightly. “Right… So… What’s her story?” Button smiled wide. “She got clawed in the face by an Ursa Minor!” “And her magic went all lightning-y and stuff!” Sweetie Belle added. “But her friends got scared of her after that!” Apple Bloom said. “So she ran away from home!” Scootaloo concluded. “Uh… huh?” Love Tap replied. “So she got into one little fight and her friend’s got scared…” Scootaloo threw up her forelegs. “but it was with a huge bear that was made from freakin’ super-dense air!” Button turned towards Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. “Does that count as a swear?” “Eh.” Sweetie Belle replied as she held up her forehoof and waved it about in a wishy-washy, ‘so-so’ expression. Love Tap dwelled on this for a moment. “Well, broken horn and injured face or not, somepony should have tried to help that poor filly…” her forehead tightened. “Starlight, too…” she added, her lips wrinkling to match her forehead. She shook her head. “Some days it feels like I’m the only adult looking out for foals in Equestria.” Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Don’t pat yourself on the back too hard there. You’ve still stopped almost none of the crazy reckless stuff the three and sometimes four of us would do!” The other foals gasped. Love Tap lowered her eyelids until her eyes were laser thin slits of blue metal rage that she directed at Scootaloo. Scootaloo replied by mirroring Love Tap’s expression, except Scootaloo’s lilac eyes contained a pain and rage the elder mare found she could not quite wrap her head around. “Oh you’ve even helped us sometimes, and you know it.” It suddenly went so quiet, one could hear a pin drop. “Alright. Fair,” Love Tap conceded. Button Mash, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle all let out breaths they hadn’t realized they were holding. “But I’m not letting you four do this crazy reckless thing!” Love Tap proclaimed. All four foals groaned. “Why are you even doing this?!” Love Tap exclaimed. “No pony is forcing you!” “We have to do this, Mom!” Button insisted. “I literally just said that you don’t,” Love Tap countered, shooting a glare at her child. “So what’s going on?” The four foals exchanged looks then turned back towards Love Tap. Apple Bloom spoke first, “We want tragic backstories so we can grow up to be super-awesome!” “… What?” The other three foals nodded in agreement. Sweetie Belle gave Love Tap a sad smile. “But to do that, we need to suffer a tragedy.” “Like dying by drowning in lava!” Scootaloo interjected. Sweetie Belle sneered at Scootaloo. “And becoming homeless!” Button spoke up. “Then we need to come back to Equestria to seek revenge or take it over! You know… probably to be stopped by Twilight. Then we can hang out with her all the time!” Love Tap nodded. “Ah, yes. I see! It makes total sense!” “It does?!” The foals all asked in excited unison. “NO! Because that all sounds bucking insane!” All three fillies instinctively crowded around Button who simply raddled off “Fourteen.” “Okay… Starlight, and Trixie to a lesser extent, I understand, but what did this supposedly cooler version of Starlight do?” Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “Well, she led an army that tossed us all into cages, ‘fer one!” “Yeah, Mom… How could you forget?” Love Tap looked off into the distance as her mind reeled from this new info. “Wait… broken horn… scar… TEMPEST BUCKIN’ SHADOW?! HAVE YOU ALL LOST YOUR TARTARUS-DAMNED MINDS?!” The trio of fillies once again dove for the relative safety of being proximately close to Button Mash. “Fifteen. Sixteen.” Love Tap looked over the foals in shock as her pupils shrank down to pinpricks. “The-th-the Princess Petrifying Pony is now staying with Twilight?!” “Yep!” Button added chipperly with a nod. “Her hair’s back,” Apple Bloom said. “Her collar’s up!” Sweetie Belle added. “And jet black!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “She’s so cool!” Button squealed. Love Tap’s face wrinkled as if she had just smashed it into a giant lemon and attempted to absorb its sour juices through her pores. “I have all the concern right now, children… Just… all of it.” Sweetie Belle gave Love Tap an unsure expression. “And we all kinda want to grow up to be like her…” Apple Bloom nodded. “Oh, yeah. Definitely.” “I mean… who wouldn’t?” Scootaloo asked. “Soo cool…” Button whispered. Love Tap’s head began to quake as red veins spider-webbed across her eyes and her lips began to twitch uncontrollably. Suddenly, there was the soft sound of a ‘crack’ as everything came to a screeching halt.  Mentally, the good ship ‘Rationality and Reason,’ smashed straight into the giant iceberg of ‘stress and anger,’ before sinking into the ocean of insanity that had been rapidly filled via a single conversation with her son and his friends. Slowly, a smile began to grow on Love Tap’s face. It was smaller at first, but grew and grew into untamed and sinister. All the foals present took a few steps back. “M-mom…?” Button asked in an unsure tone. Sweetie Belle slowly scooched closer to Button until she was practically hugging his flank as she ducked her head down far enough just to keep an eye on Love Tap. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged frightened glances. “Uh, Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo began. “Is there room on Button’s flank for two more?” “No!” Sweetie Belle said. “Get your own family member’s flank to hide behind!” “Ya know…” Apple Bloom tapped her chin. “Sweetie Belle is practically family in this case…” Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were suddenly on Sweetie Belle’s backside before one could say ‘Don’t hug my butt!’ which was rather convenient for the pair of them. “Button, girls, it’s fine!” Love Tap said. “I’m not going to hurt you! I’m not even going to stop you!” All four foals simultaneously murmured a surprised “You’re not?” “No!” Love Tap exclaimed. “If this is some sort harrowing, life-defining event, why would I- an experienced and responsible adult, even attempt to help you through it?” Slowly, forelegs detached themselves from other pony’s flanks as the four foals circles up and exchanged confused glances. Scootaloo shrugged. “Well that would be par for the—” “Scootaloo,” Love Tap growled out. “Don’t push it.” “Right, quiet time…” Scootaloo meeped.  “So… That’s it?” Sweetie Belle asked, surprise clearly at the forefront of her tone. “You really think we should run away from Ponyville?” Love Tap shrugged. “Well, that does seem to be the way to handle these things. But why not skip right to the end?!” The four foals exchanged confused murmurs as they looked at each other. Love Tap pointed a forehoof out into the distance at a particularly obvious Ponyville landmark. “Twilight’s castle is right there! Why not bypass all the drama and hardship of living by yourselves in the wilderness and just go straight to being villains! I mean… I’m sure after a heated overthrow, the Princess of Friendship will undoubtedly try to talk you out of evil and thus offer you a chance at redemption. You can get it done and all be back for a ‘totally redeemed’ dinner!” The four foals once again looked at each other, tiny smiles appearing on their faces. “Now just wait a cotton pickin’ minute here!” Apple Bloom interrupted. “A’int like… living away from Ponyville supposed ta like… harden us and harden our hearts so we can be better villains?” Love Tap shrugged. “Maybe…” She pulled a disgusted face. “But the Everfree Forest is full of icky stuff and things that’ll eat your faces right off your skulls.” Sweetie Belle shuddered. “But I need my face to sing!” she wailed. “And to look pretty!” Button added. “Awww…” Sweetie Belle swooned as she leaned her head against Button’s. Love Tap continued, “Anyways, Twilight’s castle is full of electricity and probably awesome princess candy and cookies!” Button threw a forehoof in the air. “Electricity!” Sweetie Belle also tossed a forehoof into the air. “Princess candy!” Apple Bloom joined in. “Cookies!” Scootaloo tossed both forehooves into the air. “Anarchy!” The other three ponies present all turned and stared at Scootaloo. “What?” Scootaloo replied. “You three have the things you like and I have mine! What I like just happens to be a complete disestablishment of the existing government and accompanying régime!”   Sweetie Belle spoke up. “Well now I’m mostly surprised you got all those words into the sentence without verbally tripping over anything.” Scootaloo smirked as she lowered herself back down to all four hooves. “Eh, Like I said… Everypony has their own interests and hobbies.” She extended one foreleg towards the group. “So… Assault on Twilight’s castle?” Three small hooves joined Scootaloo’s. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS—” “—and Button Mash—” “—REVOLUTIONIONARIES, YAY!” With that, the four foals broke off into a gallop, heading directly for the castle. “Remember that I’ll have dinner for all of you when you’re done with your coup!”  Love Tap called out. “Have fun storming the castle!”  A satisfied and oddly dark smile on her face, Love Tap turned and walked back into her home. Minutes later, the smile only grew as she heard the tell-tale sounds of fireworks exploding from inside the large crystalline structure. - - As the rhythmic sound of a knife repeatedly coming into contact with a cutting board filled the kitchen, Love Tap looked down at the carrot she had already chopped, minced, and was now apparently turning into carrot paste, her steel blue eyes clearly focused elsewhere than the task at hoof.   Once again, she had undoubtedly let her anger get the better of her. Usually, this manifested into her giving whoever was responsible a piece of her mind and maybe once or twice participating in some antics that weren’t exactly on the safe or legal side. However, this time she had thought four little messengers would be better suited to air her grievances rather than for her to do it herself. Love Tap looked outside. It was already getting dark… She had said the four should try to wrap it up ‘before dinner’ but, truthfully, she expected them back hours before now. Twilight usually encountered these sort of issues, defused them, then explained why those actions were wrong, yet explaining how she herself also learned a valuable lesson in roughly 22 minutes by Love Tap’s count!  It shouldn’t take that long to wrap things up… the castle was full of powerful unicorns who could easily overcome a situation involving four misguided children and some fireworks. A thought suddenly occurred to Love Tap. A thought that entered her brain then stole the breath from her lungs like a thief in the night. She had just pointed out to the children that Twilight surrounded herself with potentially dangerous unicorns, and instead of steering them away or talking to Twilight herself, she had essentially suggested the children go play in shark infested water, but only after the kids throw in a few buckets of chum to get the sharks super excited. In fact, she’d might even have been better off letting them march into the Everfree Forest unsupervised... Love Tap let go of her knife and wheeled around. ‘KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!’ Love Tap’s ears perked up from the sound of some pony either knocking or trying to beat down her front door. Love Tap gasped for air as she feared the worst, galloping out of the kitchen and down the hallway. Who would be at the door?! Had her son or her his friends been hurt?! Did Love Tap herself play party to killing a foal?! She’d never forgive herself as it was at this point, but if there was actually blood on her hooves, she might never be able to look herself in the mirror again! Love Tap threw open the door and tried to exclaim, ‘What happened! Where are the children!’ but got out something more like. “Whahappen!?Wherethechiden?!” It was Twilight Sparkle’s scowling face is what greeted her, the mare’s mane and feathers clearly on the receiving end of some temperatures that were higher what many ponies would be considered safe. Oddly enough, this was something of a relief to Love Tap. Even if Twilight had reason to suspect that she was the reason the Princess got an unexpected visit with an explosive entrance, she was far from heartless and would likely be crushed if anything serious happened. “Hello, Love Tap,” Twilight greeted coldly. “Button and the CMC are…” Twilight let out a sigh. “Well, they’re physically fine.” Somehow the qualifier brought Love Tap more concern than relief. “Physically?! Did… Did they get hit by some sort of horrible mind altering spell or something?!” “What?! No why would…” Twilight trailed off and seemed to send a worried glance towards something behind her. “No! Their minds and bodies are intact…” Love Tap frowned. “Are they in a dungeon of some sort?” Twilight sighed. “I wish…” From behind Twilight, a mare cleared her throat, causing the purple alicorn to freeze up like a foal with its hoof stuck in a cookie jar. Twilight quickly collected herself. “May we come in?” “Uh… Of course!” Love Tap said. Twilight walked in followed by a sight Love Tap almost could not believe. A long, white pointed horn suddenly entered Love Tap’s doorway, followed by a flowing mane of sparkling pastel colors like an aurora borealis made from hair, and a golden crown with a diamond-shaped amethyst set in the center. Of course, horn, hair, and head-accessory all belonged to Princess Celestia, who was now standing in Love Tap’s home and looking passively down at the light-tan mare. Love Tap silently praised the fact that her ceilings were mostly tall enough to accommodate the county's tallest ruler as she attempted to work her mouth and lips to get out anything resembling basic speech. With a face that would make an expert card player green with envy, the tall mare said, “Hello, my little pony. May we have a seat? It seems we three have much to discuss.”