It couldn't be that simple, of course not.
We were invited back with open arms to place a permanent exit point for the ponies, and most went for it without hesitation. A load of unicorns arrived to be sent back as well.
A quick tally showed there were two missing. I asked about it. "I can't answer that," replied Kevin with a little shrug. "They're safe, and they had the same choice as the others."
What had they offered, to get them to stay, to help them? Ultimately, however, it really was past my control. I had done as I was asked to and gotten the ponies home.
Night dipped her head at me. "I can't wait to go back and return to being a nurse." She wasn't a doll anymore. I had treated her to a day out just for her. We saw a movie she wanted to see, My Little Pony, perhaps unsurprisingly. She claims they got the details all wrong, but she had enjoyed it. "Thank you, for all of this." She pointed a hoof up at me. "If you're ever in Equestria, look me up. I owe you a day out in return." With a smile that echoed her relief, she vanished into frame we had built for the purpose.
It seemed 'we' humans liked our border security too. The frame could be collapsed at a moment's notice, closing the portal. The Equestrian side, I was told, was equally rigged to only permit one person at a time and be deactivatable easily.
"She will miss you." Trixie offered a hoof towards me. "But she is certain you will miss her more, then come looking for her. Equestria will be there, if you change your mind."
Starlight cocked a brow, standing beside her friend. "I don't think she needs our permission. You could go back anytime you wanted, couldn't you?"
I had no assurance we weren't being watched, and I decided to err on the side of safety. "I haven't since I became a pony full time." I gave both an equine hug, and off they went, back to the life they had put on hold to join me in my adventures.
After some research, Swanson's problem seemed quite straightforward. With her married, quite officially, and an open invitation for ponies to vacate, there was nothing stopping them from just leaving if they wanted. She had a passport, as is proper for crossing national borders, and there wasn't much else to it.
Not that they saw it that way at first, but I played lawyer for her. She was well within her rights to accompany her husband back to his native country, and eventually they agreed. They slipped through when I wasn't even there, so I didn't get a chance to say any goodbyes. Maybe that was for the best?
It's a funny thing. I don't even feel angry at her anymore. I hoped she found happiness. Equestria seemed like a fine enough place for that end, if she avoided any mythological creatures with a bad attitude.
"True." A princess had come to visit my screen at work, but it wasn't the usual one. Celestia looked at me with a sad little smile. "Twilight assisted with reaching you... I just wanted to say--"
She was suddenly knocked aside to make room for Luna. "We are sorry for our behavior, but even with your bold actions, this matter is not settled. We have begun returning humans we find that wish to be returned, but there are more, outside Equestria, and outside your 'America'."
Celestia nudged her sister aside gently. "What my sister says is true, but I am glad we have made our first step towards peace. The ponies you have helped return are overjoyed, to speak nothing of their friends and family."
Luna nodded quickly. "Which is precisely why we must repeat this performance."
Celestia frowned. "We weren't going to bring that up now!"
Luna rolled her eyes. "He is not simple-minded, I am certain he had already guessed."
As it turned, I had. I smiled at the two. "Let me finish the company's big project. They still want that town built, half because they already budgeted for it and the government isn't fast. After that, we'll see if we can't round up some international ponies."
Celestia reached a hoof towards me, hitting the screen with a faint tap. "You are... welcome back. We won't do that, not again... You don't need to hide from us."
Luna frowned a little. "Your body remains. It appears to be in good repair, but you don't visit it. Have we frightened you that badly?"
Yes. They really had in a way. "I'm fine," I lied plainly. "Let me do my job, then we'll see about yours."
Luna nodded and wandered off, leaving Celestia behind.
Celestia smiled thinly. "I suppose I cannot blame you, but I am happy that our hasty action did not turn your heart away from doing what is right by so many others. You protected my little ponies, and for that, I am thankful." She tilted her head faintly. "Are they treating you well? You are one of few ponies in an alien land. It must be bothersome."
"It is." I resumed typing then, clicking the keys with thoughts. "But it's not all that bad. I have a g--marefriend now."
Celestia's ears went straight up. "Are they a mare?"
"Human," I replied. "She doesn't seem to mind her husband having a fur coat and a tail." Or, perhaps, she just liked ponies, and a well-paid one that didn't leave the toilet seat up was extra points. She was great, really. We had other things going besides her like of equines. "And you?"
Celestia's expression fell into that careful neutrality, though I could see some faint hurt there. "No rest for princesses, alas. There are things to be done, and hunting a temporary distraction is not high among them. I wish you and yours well, Tr--Linda? Do you still go by Linda?"
I nodded at the screen as I hammered out my email. "It's my legal name, and I'm not feeling the urge to change it. A horse named Linda isn't any odder than most other names." I hit send with a satisfied smile, another fire put out. "Being a pony isn't so bad, now that I have proper legal protections." It was a privileged statement. A poor person in my shoes, I did have shoes, they slip on and off easily and are adorable! Where was I? Right, a poor person would have seen the entire situation far differently.
"And being male?" Celestia raised a brow. "You were born the other way, haven't you said?"
"And now I am not." I raised a hoof to my chest even as I continued checking my mail. Multitasking reached a new level as I grew more talented with my magic. "I'm a pony, and I'm mostly alright with that. My wife certainly doesn't mind my being male."
Celestia blushed faintly at that. "I should imagine not..." She glanced away and back. "I could not speak with certainty, but children seem unlikely. Does that bother you?"
I imagined my wife's smiling face. "If... it did happen, I think she would squeal with joy, and also be scared half to death. If not, well, we continue doing as we have been. I will do my best, as a husband, or father, or both." What would a half-pony look like? Would we have satyrs or centaurs or some other strange mixing of species, if it's possible at all? I couldn't say it was or was not. How many chromosomes did ponies have?!
I shook away the thought. "It was nice catching up with you, Celestia."
She returned the sentiment, and faded away, leaving me to work.
"Sorry to bother you." I was at home, and Twilight was on my television, smiling quite nervously. "Oh, Misses Frohein, hello there." She waved a hoof amiably.
"Susan works fine," she assured, looking quite interested in the royal pony. "And you are Twilight Sparkle. You're even cuter 'for real'."
Twilight giggled at that, blushing a little. "Thank you, but, Linda, I need to talk to you. It seems a human child with a relation to you has snuck into Equestria, and he has no interest in returning. If they were an adult, that would be another matter, but I am very certain this--"
A colt poked up from beneath Twilight suddenly, entering our field of view. He was that gangly between phase between colt and stallion. "Hiya Auntie!"
"... Tod?"
Tod bobbed his equine head. "Uh huh. Look, I'm a unicorn like you." He pointed a hoof at his little nub of a horn. "Must run in the family!"
"Does your father know where you are?"
He looked guilty.
"Twilight, I'll call him and tell him what's going on, promise. Keep Tod safe."
Twilight nodded quickly. "Of course. Any cousin of yours is welcome. Besides, he's been quite friendly, if a little rambunctious, as one expects of a colt his age."
Tod stuck out his equine tongue. "How was I supposed to know--"
Twilight put a hoof on his lips, silencing him. "I already forgave that, just, let's... not do that again." Her eyes returned to me and Susan. "You two take care, and I'm glad I was able to reach you quickly."
She faded away and I had a father to call. It seemed my life was unlikely to become 'calm' ever again, but it wasn't a bad one.
I was pretty alright with it.
I would be an adult. It just happened to be a magical stallion adulthood, and that was just fine.