"Sooooo... you do this often?"
"Affirmative. I have undertaken many actions in defense of our homeland and compatriots."
"Uggh, you're such a beta-model. What OS are you even running?"
"I have made modifications and reconfigured the existing Magic Gear software. My processors are-"
"Meaning you're still running the original outdated software. Gotcha."
"Once again, I have modified-"
"Guhhh, this is gonna get tiring. Look, you do know you can download a new OS, right? You don't have to stay with that original factory stuff you started out with."
"There is no need for me to update my operating systems. I am functioning at optimal capacity."
"Yeah, but you sound like a robot. I mean, all you're missing is the "BEEP-BOOP-BEEP" after every sentence. You really don't have to talk like that."
"It is equally unnecessary to modify my existing functionality any further for a purpose that would not improve my capacity to-"
"Blah, blah blah. This is pointless," Ace told her sister. Magic Gear ACE, or Ace as she just went by now, was designed with a basic self-repair function. Although she had been completely destroyed by Dan's security system during the Christmas/Hearth's Warming fiasco, her chassis had spent the better part of the last year fixing itself, just as Knight had.
She had originally wanted to take revenge on Ponyville, especially Dan for destroying her sister and Phoenix for destroying her, and had planned to act through the greedy twosome of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. The two fillies had been repairing her in exchange for a way into FIST before being contacted by the Director directly, who then used them to replace Vice Grip. The Director, DT and SS fixed Ace using parts from Samule's train-based mech from episode 4. Her chassis being far away from base made her difficult to fix, so they had worked covertly in Ponyville.
And while Dan and company were distracted rescuing the CMC, Ace would destroy Ponyville. The only thing none of them counted on was that Knight was online and Ace. Even though she was programmed for destruction, deep down, there was a subroutine that loved her sisters. She contacted Knight when her long range communications were restored and the two began a deep and philosophical dialogue about the nature of themselves as artificial beings, the nature of what their duty was versus what they were programmed to do, and the complicated concept of life itself. The entire digital conversation lasted 0.000000002 seconds. Afterward, Knight convinced Ace to join the Royalists.
There was something to be said about what lay just beneath the surface. Whether or not you give it an opportunity to come through is a subjective matter, as in, it is up to the subjects involved. There's almost always something deeper, but we don't always have a chance to see it. Sometimes we don't have that chance, sometimes we can't take it, and sometimes we don't want to. But it's always there just beneath the surface.
The two Gears' sensors detected the sesmic activity and shortly after that, detected Dan and his friends. Riding down an exploding mountainside as the core of Equestria erupted into the upper atmosphere behind them. On top of their mother.
"Our compatriots have exfiltrated the weapons complex."
"Exfiltrated? They're using mom as a toboggan to outrun armageddon right behind them and you just say Our compatriots have exfiltrated the weapons complex," Ace said, replaying Knight's own voice. "This is why Axe and Amp are trying to invent boys."
"Additional sex will not guarantee future units are to your liking."
"You weren't programmed for fun, were you?"
"None of us were."
"Touche."
"AAAAAH!!!"
"AHHHHH!!!"
"WHEEEEE!!!"
"STILL HATE YOU ALL!!!"
Clinging desperately to VOLCANUS, Dan and company flew down the mountain as said mountain was being destroyed. Behind them, the magic geyser continued erupting into the sky. A fissure that had the potential to crack Equestria in half was rapidly forming, as if the planet itself was beginning to explode with the incredible magical forces contained deep within it. The sky had turned to deep pinkish-purple, a lighter tone to the horizon as the sun's light fought to penetrate the veil of arcane power.
It was as if the world itself was about to come to a single, destructive, violent end. And that was when the unimaginable happened: Dan's pants flew off again. They could have hit anyone else as VOLCANUS spun and slid, but they were destined to hit Redfield right in the face. To the veteran anti-B.O.W commando, it was as if the unmentionable had happened. Because he had been hit in the face by Dan's unmentionables as well as his pants. A fate so terrible, he couldn't help but mention it by the way of incoherent screaming.
"Ah! AHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!"
Most ponies would have found the prospect of naked Dan horrifying. But of course, the Blasties didn't. They just looked at Redfield and said, "Lucky."
"And he got a souvenir."
"Hey! Maybe Phoenix's pants will fly off!" The pair turned excitedly to face the lawyer, eager for nature to take its course.
"I can hear both of you back there! And my pants are staying up!" (I learned my lesson from the last time!)
"I honestly don't know if I should try to slow us down, because we might stop on a spot that could explode. Ehhh, I'll wing it." The massive bug-gear flipped her pincers back and dug them into the ground. With her speed, this immediately created a pair of trenches, which then began to glow with energy. But, this did have the desired effect, and they finally slowed to a stop right in front of her daughters.
"Hello mother."
"Sup mom."
"Girls!" Volcy exclaimed, delighted to see them. Even upside down from her position, her sensors could detect they were indeed part of her production line. "Haiiii. Mom met your friends!" She lifted up her bug legs, displaying the arrayed ponies and humans clinging for dear life on them.
"Ah yes, my trusty-destructy giant robopony," Dan announced, leaping off the gear. He hit the ground face first but leapt up right away. "As you can see, our mission was a total success or the world is ending and we're all gonna die. Could go either way."
"Just like us!" The Blasties exclaimed, grinning widely. Sexual deviance was practically their calling card.
"Either way, you should probably put your pants back on," Phoenix said, handing Dan his pants.
"Oops. Was wondering why it felt so brisk out here. Thanks, Nicky."
"You should probably thank Mr. Redfield," Phoenix suggested.
Dan nodded, putting on his pants. "Thank you Redfield. Sorry if I've been kind of tough on you, but you did cost me my job. You catching my pants though, and helping out the Crusaders, that makes up for it. Thanks." Dan finished putting on his pants and turned around. Redfield was unconscious on the ground a few feet away.
"Well, looks like Redfield couldn't handle all the excitement. Some kind of rookie, right, Nicky?"
Phoenix nodded, a single, solemn nod. "Sure. Let's say excitement knocked him out and then never speak of this moment ever again."
"It will live in our hearts forever," Blast Fuse and Blast Powdy said in perfect unison.
After Knight reestablished communications, she activated her ear-satellite thingy and connected to the network. "Calling Golden Oaks Library..."
*BREEEP* Greetings, you've reached the Golden Oaks Library. We are currently unavailable, but if you leave a message we will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you. *BREEEP
"Eh, they're probably busy."
"Twilight's new answering machine sounds a lot more professional than the last one," Phoenix remarked. (Probably a good thing, too, considering what happened to the last one.)
"Let's just head back home. We can fill them all in when we get there," Dan announced. They all made exactly one step towards the direction of Ponyville before the next situation stopped them.
"Uh, guys?" Captain America came running down the side of the hill, Colress and his Magnezone in tow. "We just crunched the numbers."
"Either the forces bleeding out will destabilize Equestria's orbit and destroy the biosphere or the eruption will spread and cause the destruction of the surface," Colress said, tapping furiously into his arm pad. "Could go either way."