Discord's voice spoke softly from nowhere at all, sounding as if he were but a step or two away, if there were steps to be had. Rainbow could hear him despite soaring through the sky. "You know, your friend have been ever so kind to rub every little trouble I've had in my face until I caught on. It's time to return the favor."
Rainbow swiveled her ears around, but couldn't pinpoint the exact origin of Discord's voice. "What, like I'm supposed to be happy to be suddenly zapped into a stallion?"
"Oh, not that. That's just a symptom." Suddenly Rainbow was laying in a couch that zipped along her original path. Discord appeared in a doctor's garb, adjusting his new glasses. "Everything a stallion can do, a mare can do better, do I have that right?"
Rainbow jumped into the air, lashing out her back hooves and knocking the sofa away to crash to the ground below. "It's so true. Don't get me wrong, I got plenty of stallion friends and they're good ponies, but they aren't mares."
"I should hope not." He leaned closer to her, still 'standing' despite keeping pace with her energetic flight. "Ponykind would be in serious trouble if that were the case. Your team, what was it, the vunderdolts?"
"Wonderbolts!" corrected Rainbow with an angry snort. "What about them?"
"They aren't just mares, are they?" He cocked a brow, his glasses lifting with the gesture as if attached to his face.
"Well, no." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "But let's do the rundown. One of the only members given the boot in recent history? That was a stallion." She banked to the left, skimming a few clouds on the way. "Then we have Soarin, nice guy, really, sweet as Pinkie's Pies, uck, but is he the best flyer? Not by far. Then there's Silver Zoom, also a nice pony, but deathly afraid of the same crowd we perform for, barely says a word out in the open. We have stallions, sure, but as good as the mares?" She leaned in towards Discord who had kept up with her with distressing ease. "You tell me."
"I see..." He scribbled nonsense in a pad that hadn't been there moments before. "And those adoring eyes you used to level at him?"
Rainbow came to a sudden halt, hovering in the sky. "One, I wasn't a wonderbolt yet and he was. Two, he's a good flyer, just not the best. Three, I was being a fangirl, so shut up!" She stomped, or at least made a stomping motion. The empty air made a poor platform for the attempt. "What's it to you, anyway? I just wanna be what I am, a mare. I don't care if I'm a sneaky mare or even an egghead mare or maybe a big bruiser mare, but a mare." She thrust a hoof at Discord. "That isn't too hard, right?"
Discord lifted his shoulders. "And if a stallion wanted to be as great as a mare, what would he have to do?"
Rainbow squinted at him. "Go beg Twilight or someone to make him a mare?"
"Come now, surely it's not entirely a matter of biology." He tapped his pen against his pad. "I should imagine that, with the right training, you could get a stallion on the right path." He leaned forward a little, but was above Rainbow suddenly, leaning downwards. "For instance, even if you didn't like it, you were obviously the most awesome stallion, for at least a moment."
Rainbow reached up to ward away the chaotic being above her, succeeding in shooing him back to floating beside her. "I can't argue that. As if I could somehow avoid being awesome, whatever I was." She raised her brows together. "Seriously though, what's with you and stallions?" A smirk touched her lips. "Afraid of a mare's company? Think we're not 'up' for your 'macho' game?"
Discord sat up from the couch he was laying across. "Wait a second, when did I become the patient?!" He floated over it and the couch faded away in a shower of sparkles. "Now see here--"
"--Tree."
Discord turned just in time for a tree to get right in the way of his trajectory. He wrapped around several branches in a display that would have looked painful on any other creature on the planet. "Hey, no fair!"
Rainbow shook her head slowly as she ascended towards her house. "Nutter..." She landed gently just in front of her home and trotted inside, ready to chillax after a long day's work. She settled down and grabbed the newest Daring Do book from her shelf to get cozy with. She was just at the best part, or so she had decided. Daring Do was creeping down a dark corridor. There were mad cultists chanting in the next room up ahead. If they heard her, she was toast!
The diagram of Daring Do suddenly turned to look at Rainbow. "We weren't done," she said sternly.
Rainbow squeaked and threw the book across the room in surprise. It flumped to the ground and all was still. "What the..." She rose to her hooves and approached carefully. "Whatever you are, I'm ready for ya!" There was no reply, so she carefully brushed open the book with a hoof.
Inside, there was Daring Do, glaring at her. "That was rude." She had her forelegs crossed and was seated up on her haunches. "We were talking and you just run away?"
"Discord?" Rainbow hiked a brow. "Why are you pretending to be Daring Do?" She leaned in a little, tail swaying. "It's a better look, but it's not 'you', ya know?"
Discord, as Daring Do, rolled her eyes. "Unlike you, some of us aren't bound by strict gender roles. I'm not afraid to see things from the other side."
Rainbow scowled at that. "I'm not afraid of anything! It's just stupid!" She moved to slap the book shut, but it barely got halfway closed when a hoof caught the paper.
The drawing of Daring Do stepped free of her book, becoming the full size on her idol pegasus adventurer, though she still looked drawn, just in three dimensions. "That's quite enough of that. So, here I am, improved, you would say?" She smiled at Rainbow Dash and spread her wings. "Not only a mare, but a pegasus. I've gotten the full package!"
Rainbow rolled a hoof before bringing it to her head. "You still think like a stallion, because you are one." She suddenly frowned. "I'm pretty sure you are one, and kindly don't prove it either way."
"Your loss." Discord as Daring Do stepped towards Rainbow. "Did you know this was based on a spell Twilight loves to pieces?"
Rainbow's brows raised together. "Really? Figures that egghead would like a spell that puts you in a book." She prodded the artistic rendition of one of her heroes. "I'll play your stupid game, but I want to be a mare, that shouldn't even be something I have to argue."
Her painted eyes rolled as she turned away. "I suppose not. I still think you're being harsh on the other half of ponykind, but maybe it's not up to me to decide."
"It isn't," Rainbow flatly agreed.
Discord looked over her shoulder at Rainbow. "Just meant you'll be the only mare in the team. At least we can trust Pinkie won't make any unwarranted moves, like getting drunk and 'getting some mares', mmm?"
Rainbow stuck out her tongue in disgust. "Pinkie can do whatever she wants, but if she creeps on me, she'll learn to not make the mistake more than once." She leveled a hoof at the feminine Discord. "What about you? Is this just a cheap chance to chase fantasy tail, or are we gonna kick some rumps around like I saw you guys doing the first time?"
"Why would I do that?" She unfolded, falling to several flat planes of paper from which Discord emerged. "I can already have whatever I want."
Rainbow rolled a hoof at him. "I'm already way over that. You can have whatever you want, but as soon as it becomes whoever you want, it gets trickier, and it isn't fun playing with yourself." He quirked a brow at her. "You know what I mean."
"Fine fine, we have an agreement. You will remain just as much a mare as your mother made you." He nodded lightly. "You're still a sneaky sort, mmm?"
"Oh yeah, I'm down for that." She bobbed her head quickly. "But when do I get my big sword?"
"I offered you one of those, that's why we're here," he noted with a deadpan.
Rainbow laughed in a dry, unamused, tone. "Har har, very funny. I want something big and deadly!"
He shook his head lightly. "A sword like Big Mac's would not serve a stealthy character. You need--"
"--I need you to pay attention more and stop assuming things." She trotted over to her bookshelf and looked over the spines before pulling free another Daring Do classic. "See, right here." She flipped it open with her wings until she came across the desired page. "Daring Do jumped backwards just in time as a massive blade came down where she had been standing. Wielding it was an exotic guardian of the night, loyal of the lost Order of the Eclipse. She was narrow and lithe, as if every movement was calculated, but the sword she wielded was larger than herself. The contrast was startling, but Daring Do barely had time to appreciate it before she was forced to jump away from the next cruel slice."
Discord clapped his mismatched hands together. "And you want to be like that, a delicate dancer with a blade that looks ready to cut mountains in half?"
"Yes!" shouted Rainbow, bouncing in place. "Yes, that, yes, please? Hook a sister up!"
Discord put his hands on his hips. "What's the fun in having everything you want out of the gate? You will, within the world, want that sword, but you don't have it. Maybe that's why you've joined this party."
Rainbow tilted her head a little. "Huh, are you saying that stupid Squid Wizard guy went and took my awesome sword?" She lifted into the air and clopped her hooves. "Then we'll just pummel him and take it back!"
"Now that's more the spirit." Discord quirked a smile. "Allow me to say, it's been a real treat getting this settled, even if we didn't see eye-to-eye."
"We still don't." Rainbow smirked softly. "But yeah, see you at the game?" She waggled her brows suddenly. "I'm a bit surprised you aren't trying to talk Fluttershy into this."
He crossed his arms at the idea. "It wouldn't be fun to her. Adventure is a thing she'd rather avoid if the option's open, and I'm not trying to force her, darling that she is. She faces enough adventure just being who she is, and that's more than enough for her." He nudged Rainbow with an elbow. "Not like us, right?"
Rainbow snorted loudly. "On this, I'll agree. We'll meet at Twilight's next time Spike calls a game and we'll kick some bad guys around for fun. Even if I don't have my awesome sword of awesome, I can get a replacement for now, right?"
"You'll have to take that up with the guy in charge, which isn't me for a change!"
Rainbow tilted her head. "How does that work, exactly, if you're the one making all the things we fight and stuff?"
"Easy." Discord looked quite pleased with himself. "I talk to him and he will quite happily ramble about his plans. When I feel the need, I can even pull directly from his scaly little head on the fly. It's not like he guards it well."
Rainbow blinked slowly. "Wait, you can do that?"
"I try not to make a habit of it." He shook a hand. "Life gets terribly boring when you know what everyone else is thinking. Wouldn't recommend it. 0/10."