Celestia stood up with her wings flared, "So, Starlight, mind telling me why you thought it would be a good idea to pull a pinkie and pop out of my sweet, sweet cake! I mean I know like, no, love cake but not...ON THE BUCKING WALL!"
Starlight was about to answer when the the throne room's doors were open, "Tia, I thought we talk about this. If you're gonna do your little food-gasm thing then do it...IN THINE OWN BEDROOM AND NOT IN YONDER THRONE ROOM!"
A pitiful looking Celestia blushed at Luna's statement , "Lulu, could we not do this in front of other ponies and shouldn't you be sleeping? Why are you even here?"
"Because we have invited a guest over whose should be arriving soon and we have agreed to meet her in yonder throne room before we are to take court," said Luna.
"Umm...sorry to interrupt but what's a food-gasm?", queried Starlight as she raised her hoof like she was still in school.
Luna looking at a disapproving Celestia with a smirked, "Well since you're the hero of Equestria, I guess I can tell you. Now, it not really a secrets how much Tia enjoys her eating. But there are times when Tia whilst enjoying certain types of food, mainly cake, to a point it cause her to have an orgasm, literally and that why we called it a food-gasm."
"And here I thought Trixie was being ridiculous about Twilight losing her virginity to a book but that...that...hah hah...pretty funny," howled Starlight as she bowled over in laughter.
"Well Twilight does know the Haycart's method, which allowed one to enter inside a book. So, we place our bet on her visiting a book that has a younger version of Starswirl the Bearded. But yeah...hah hah...it is pretty funny, in fact that how pound cake was invented," Luna said matter-of-factly.
"what...about...pound...cake?", gasp Starlight.
"LUNA, I FORBID YOU FROM TALKING ABOUT THAT!", screamed a red-faced Celestia.
Ignoring Celestia, Luna continued, "She kept asking the royal baker to make a sponge cake that soft but firm and to bake it in the shape of a cucumber."
Starlight paused while Celestia buried her face in her hooves, "Wait! So you're saying that Celestia, the ponies' precious white virgin goddess, invented cake dildo?"
"Indeed, you should've seen the baker's face when his wife made him realize what Tia was doing with her special order. Originally it was known as the princess's pound cake because the princess was pounding herself with cake. Once they figured out what she was doing, they started baking and selling pound cake by the cart load and for a few extra bits more a mare could have it made specially for her need," said Luna while holding back her laughter.
Starlight wondered while imitating Twilight, "So whatever happen to the baker? Did Celestia sent them to a dungeon, banish them, or send them to a dungeon where they were banish to?"
"Hah hah...that's a good imitation of Twilight. Well once Tia found out what they were doing, she banned them from calling it the princess's pound cake then she gave them honorary knighthood for keeping their silence. In fact Donut Joe right here in Canterlot is a direct descendant of their," informed Luna.
Looking out from her wings, Celestia said, "Can we stop telling embarrassing story about me and talk about something else, please?"
As Luna was going to answered, a thunderous sound follow by a fillish scream and a ball of fire was seen and heard coming from the balcony, "I AM EMBER, DAUGHTER OF TORCH, WINNER OF THE GAUNLET OF FIRE, FRIEND OF SPIKE, AND LORD OF ALL DRAGONS!"
"Umm...please tell me you're not going to be telling our fillyhood memories to Ember as well, are you? That would be so embarrassing," facehoofed a red-faced Celestia.
Ember looking perplexed as she enter the throne room, "is this part of the whole friendship is magic thing, telling embarrassing stories about each other?"
"We have not though of that but tis a good idea. Mayhap we shall do that later? But no, we didn't asked Ember here to trade embarrassing secrets but to seek her take on the inquiry of Spike's age. Since ponies are sorely lacking information when it come to dragon's biology, we though it prudent to asked a reliable source. And we thought noponies would be more reliable than the Lord of dragons," said Luna
"Why would you summon me here for a trivial thing like that? I thought Spike's age would be pretty obvious. I mean, he did participated in the Gaunlet of Fire," said an annoyed Ember.
Luna giving a sly glance to Starlight, "Tis because we believe one of our subject, a mare, may have fallen in love with the aforementioned Spike."
"Why do ponies keeping thinking I'm in love with Spike. Just because of one accidentally kiss at Heartwarming's Eve and suddenly me and Spike are supposed to be all lovey-dovey," snorted Starlight.
"Hmm...funny you said that, Starlight, for we do not remembered accused you of being the aforementioned mare,"chuckled Luna.
Starlight blushed, "But...I...Spike...heh heh...umm, sorry for interrupting. As you were."
"But back to our story, we believe she may wishes to be with Spike in a romantic setting. But alast, another mare has come to blocked her from doing so. The second mare denied the first by saying Spike is but a child and is too young to be engaging in an adult relationship," said Luna.
Ember exploded in giggle, "Spike's a child...that's the most ridiculous thing...I ever heard...I know he a runt...but that...that...just stupid."
"So you disagreed with that mare's assessment, then?", questioned a relieved Celestia as she thanks the stars for Ember's interruption.
"Pfft...show how dumb someponies are especially when they don't know the first thing about dragons. Look, I know I might be the Lord of Dragons but in truth it not for all dragon, just the teenage ones. Adult dragons don't really need a ruler since they tend to keep to themselves just as long as you don't bother them. But teenage dragons are a different story. They're like volcanoes, highly volatile. If they didn't have a ruler like the Lord of dragons to keep them in check they could cause massive damages. There is an unwritten rule when it come to the qualification of becoming the Lord of Dragons and that is you must be a teenager and capable of producing an heir," scoffed Ember.
"So since Spike was allow not only to participate in the Gaunlet of Fire but become the Dragonlord as well than that mean he is of breeding age. So that mare Luna was talking of may then without worries pursue a relationship with Spike," espoused Celestia.
"If that what Spike want...yeah, whatever...it not like I care about him in that way, hmpf. Stupid ponies, keeping all the good drakes to themselves," huffed Ember as she crossed her arms.
Luna chuckled, "Why but of course, Ember, we would never think of such a thing. Which bring us to our little Starlight here. So why have you grace us with thine own presence, Starlight?"
Starlight explained what happen earlier this morning, "And that why I'm here. I was hoping Celestia could help me find the perfect gift for Spike. I mean Spike have been such a great friend to me from forgiving me to helping me renew my friendship with Sunburst. Not to mention he intelligence, brave, strong, witty, funny, dependable, have great cooking skills and is quite adorable in his apron."
Ember rolled her eyes, "This is what wrong with you ponies, too much thinking and not enough action. Just give him a bowl of gems. Give dragons some gems and you'll never goes wrong. You'll get me a picture of him in this adorable apron you speak of, right?"
"Yes, we being the Princess of Nights and Dreams have dealt with the unborned. Tis a fate we would wish not on our worst enemy," stated Luna.
"Seem at time ponies like to think of me as Spike's mother. Although I helped him with controlling his magic, like his fire breath, in truth I was more like a godmother to him," said Celestia.
A sad-looking Starlight sighed, "So that mean you won't be able to help me, then. What am I going to do now? You were really my last hope. Now I won't be able to get Spike the perfect gift for his birthday."
"Now, now, I didn't say I couldn't help you. Although, I'm glad you came to me but the ones you should really be talking with are Twilight's parents; Twilight Velvet and Night Light. Come with me to the balcony here. Now do you see that observatory on the hill down there. That's Twilight's childhood home and that's where you will find them.", said Celestia being followed by the other.
Starlight with thanked to Ember and the princess left the castle heading to the observatory where she would find Twilight's parents.
"So this mare you're talking about, the one you said was in love with Spike, it's her, rights?", asked Ember pointed her thumb in Starlight's direction.
Celestia and Luna sharing glances and giggles, "yes."
A grin appear on Ember's face, "She certainly has the heart of a dragon. I like her and Spike could use somepony like her."
"They'll face some hurdles in the future but it good they have your support and approval, Dragonlord Ember. I wonder what Twilight's parents will think of her...heh heh...she is like Twilight Velvet in a way. But enough of that. Now back to you, Luna. You should never tell other ponies about our past, got it," glared Celestia.
As she was bowing, Luna chuckled, "But of course whatever you said, Mother Dearest."
"O'Tartarus no, we are not starting that again. You know how long it took me to get ponies to stopped thinking you're my daughter," facehoofed a annoyed Celestia.
Outside, Luna flew about the castle with Celestia hot on her trail, "LUNA, GET THINE FLANK BACK HERE AND APOLOGIZE AT ONCE!"
"No way, mom," giggled Luna as she kept dodging Celestia.
"LUNA!!! THOU SHALT DESIST FROM CALLING THEE THY MOTHER!!!", raged Celestia in the royal caterlot voice.
"Al'right, now this is my kind of diplomacy. Hey, wait for me," cheered Ember as she raced after Celestia and Luna.
Some castle's guards look up at the sparing match between Ember and the princess. They look to their captain, "Umm...should we like stopped them or something?"
The captain shooked his head, "No, it like my grandpa always said: the quickest way for a stallion to end up in the hospital is a straight line between two mare set on duking it out."
After what seem like hours, Luna grabbed both Celestia and Ember in her magic. She teleported them back inside to the throne room. Luna, now sitting upon her throne, "As much as we'd like to continue our fun, we're afraid we'll have to end it here."
"You can't quit now. I was about to win," pouted both Celestia and Ember.
"Hah hah...but alast, all good things must come to an end. A part of friendship is knowing when not to interfered with thine friend's duties. Ember, while we enjoyed greatly having thee over but we must take court and our dear sister have a party to host," said Luna as she hoofshake Ember's hand.
"Guess I too have my duties as Dragonlord but you will call me when you and your sister need to relieved stress?" hoped Ember.
Luna and Celestia saying their goodbye, "But of course, we wishes thee safe travels home, our sister from another mother."
Waving a final goodbye, Celestia asked, "So what's this party I am to be hosting?"
"Cause of Rarity's actions, we thought tis prudence to distracted the elements. So thou throwing them a party of slumber or a celebration of their cutie marks shalt keeps them from interfering with Starlight and Spike," answered Luna as Celestia agreed with her.
Meanwhile, feeling like she was in the Running of the Leaves, Starlight has reached the hill where sat Twilight's childhood home. Calling it a home might be a reach as it look like someone took a house and an observatory then squoosh them together. Starlight stopped right in front to catch her breathe. After a minute, Starlight raised her hoof knocking on the door. As the door was opening, Starlight, in a perfect imitation of Pinkie Pie, "UmmhelloMr.NightLightI'mTwilight'sstudent,StarlightGlimmer,andIwaswonderingif
youcouldhelpmefindtheperfectgifttogivetoSpikeforhisbirthday,please."
"Whose that at the door, Honey?"-looking behind him while Starlight laid gasping for air, Night Light said-"It's a mare. I believe it's the one that Twilight was telling us about. You know the one she said was wanting to buck Spike's world."
As a ear-spliting scream rend the air, before she knew it Starlight was caught up in a bone-crushing hug that could rival Pinkie's, "Oh why hello there, I'm Twilight Velvet. So you're the little mare that Twilight said has her eyes set on our precious little gem, Spike. Night Light, could you be a sweetie and get some refreshment for guest. Oh, and get Spike's baby book too. Well enough dilly-dalling, lets go inside everyponies so I can tell embarrassing stories about Spike to his marefriend."
Night Light hugging a bewildered Starlight, "Hah hah...my wife is certainly a firecracker. unfortunately for you, I think she mighta took a liking. Well come on, let go inside. Oh, and welcome to the family, Starlight."