Captain Shining Armor stood outside the ceremonial room, smoothing down his Royal Guard regalia with magic. It took painful effort—he still had one Tartarus of a migraine—but his hooves were shaking, so it was the only way to keep himself occupied.
Despite his recent ordeal, he had just enough sanity and presence of mind to go through the ceremony a second time. He'd do anything for Princess Cadance, after all. The wedding was scheduled to begin in less than an hour, and the other guards would start filtering guests back in any minute. The cleanup crew had recently finished with the room. Currently, it was empty except for Cadance and her adoptive 'Aunt' Celestia.
At the edge of his hearing came a familiar motherly voice, "Before we begin with the ceremony, I need to know something. Are you certain you still wish to proceed with this life commitment?"
Shining Armor felt his heart skip a beat, but not in the thrilling way.
"Auntie! How can you say such a thing after what just happened?" said Princess Cadance. "Didn't you witness how powerful our bond is? We just saved all of Canterlot using nothing more than our love for each other!"
Princess Celestia sighed deeply. "As you wish. But do not forget: forever is a long time, Mi Amore Cadenza," she said, and then walked briskly out of the room. Shining Armor made certain not to make eye contact with her as she left.
In the century that followed, Shining never repeated to Princess Cadance what he'd overheard on his wedding day. But for their first few anniversaries, before the scene mercifully faded into hazy memory, his wife's shocked response would echo through his mind...
How could Celestia say such a thing?
Sunspots carefully pressed a tiny stipple brush against the corner of her Prince's eye, jerking her hoof away when he squinted.
"Eyes are always the hardest thing to get right," she said. "This will only take a moment."
He snorted, the frown on his muzzle only deepening the creases his squire was dutifully trying to mask. "Give me a break. I can't exactly suppress a blink reflex," he said.
"I'm sorry, Sire," Sunspots replied in a whisper. Pursing her lips together tightly, she lifted her hoof again as her patient held his breath. One lightning-quick flick of the pastern, and the smudge was corrected. "There! All done." She followed up with a quick dash of loose powder to set the makeup in place.
Prince Shining Armor exhaled in relief and bowed his head for a brief moment. "I'm sorry for snapping at you, Sunspots," he said. "You're amazing at pretty much every task I throw at you. This one is just the most, well... emotionally—"
"Say no more," said Sunspots, with a bright smile on her face. The fine detail work now completed, she dropped the brush from her hoof into her magic and levitated it into place with the others in her kit. "The mane dye has had more than enough time to set, so you can put your jacket on now."
Shining Armor nodded as he donned his formal clothing. "You do incredible work, not that this is news. I've always been surprised by how much better you are with your hooves than with magic," he said.
"Dad was an earth pony. One of few in the Kingdom," she said, with a shrug. "I've always worried that being a squire who isn't a crystal pony furthers the perception that the Royal Family are a class apart from the citizens at large, but your people seem to love you all nonetheless."
"That they do. Our closest staff have always been non-crystal, yet I've never heard a whisper of discontent," said Shining Armor. "But you already know you're 'lecturing to the wizards'. I'd love it if Flurry Heart would marry a crystal pony, but nopony can control matters of the heart. Not even Cadance." The unicorn prince turned his head to the to stare at the wall, and momentarily bit at his lower lip.
"We love who we love," said Sunspots, as she carefully cleaned the area around the sink. "I'm too old for romance, myself. Perhaps Princess Flurry will have need of a Crystaller before I pass on, in which case I would be honored, if I still have her favor then. That's about as close as I'm going to get to impacting future generations, and I've made peace with that."
"Don't say that, Sunspots. Someday you might find somepony you really like. We could even help you conceive, if you wanted to," said Shining. Then his eyes widened and he added, "I mean, um, we could use magic to make you fertile again, of course. Nothing, like, weird or anything."
Sunspots laughed. "Of course. Believe me, I have no desire to re-live my twenties. I might take you up on the temporary fertility, but I seriously doubt I'm due for a romance anytime soon."
"I'd rather not return to my youth either, to be completely honest." said Shining Armor, and then he shook his head. "It's still hard to believe you're as old as you are. The last time you went with us to a nightclub, I recall them magically age-checking you."
While washing her hooves, the middle-aged mare looked into the bathroom mirror so she could meet her boss eye-to-eye. "Really? I can't even remember," she said. "I don't usually do my own makeup, so I'm sure it was just the dim lighting."
"Hmm. Well, maybe it's your infectious personality. Plus, you're the spitting image of your great-grandfather," said Shining Armor. "He was quite the looker, before he and Starlight Glimmer left this timeline together. I never did understand what he saw in her... er, not that there was anything wrong with her, mind you. She just wasn't the easiest pony to get to know."
"Very true from what I've read of her, and complement accepted. Though I believe the last time we went out together was, what... more than a decade ago?" asked Sunspots. "That might have something to do with it, too."
Shining Armor's brow furrowed in thought. "Wow. Was it that long ago?"
"Time flies, doesn't it? However, you're going to be late if we keep reminiscing. Last I checked, the train your sister was scheduled to be on was due to arrive a half-hour early," said Sunspots, finally turning to face him directly.
"It was? When's that?" asked Shining Armor.
Sunspots narrowed her eyes and looked up at the clock on the wall. "Oh, about three minutes ago."
"Oh no. Twily hates it when I'm not punctual!" said Shining Armor. He quickly stood up and straightened the shoulders of his royal ceremonial jacket. "How do I look?" he asked, facing her without even bothering to look into the mirror.
"You look like a very attractive and dedicated husband, father, and royal pain in the butt. Now get going already," she said.
Shining Armor turned and cantered out of the bathroom.
Princess Cadance's sitting room was a small, cozy nook with plush chairs and a bookcase filled with her favorite reading material—textbooks, mostly. The princesses were already doing their foalish childhood dance in the middle of the room when Shining Armor arrived.
"...and do a little shake!" they both sang, wagging their rumps in a way that made him blush.
Shining Armor loudly cleared his throat, then said, "Oh hay, Twily! Sorry I'm late."
Twilight Sparkle giggled with Cadance, then looked over at her brother. For a fraction of a second, her face registered surprise. It was quickly replaced by a smile as she trotted over and hugged him.
"It's fine. My train was really early," she said, backing up a step. "I'm just happy to see you again. It's been too long." Twilight stared down at her brother with an oddly wistful look in her eyes. It had been this way for many years now, but Shining still hadn't gotten used to his little sister standing taller than him.
"Twilight, I need to take care of some Kingdom business for about an hour. I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about, so I'll catch up with you both later," said Princess Cadance. She kissed Shining on the cheek, walked out of the room, and shut the door behind her.
Twilight took a seat, and her brother followed suit. "So," she said, "I know I have no right to pry, but I guess things are still a little rough?" The young princess wore a nervous-looking smile as she let one leg awkwardly slip free from the chair to dangle over the edge.
Shining placed a hoof over his face. "Damn it. I thought Sunspots did a good job hiding it this time," he said.
"No, she did! I mean, she always does. I'm just perceptive, and well, I know you. You're my brother, for crying out loud," said Twilight, no longer making any effort to hide the look of deep concern on her muzzle. "Even if I couldn't see the crow's feet—which I wouldn't be able to if I didn't know exactly what to look for, by the way—I can tell from how you hold yourself."
"Stars above. Do I shake, or something? Do I have a hunch? I swear I'm just as athletic as ever—"
"No, you're still a total beefcake. I mean your voluntary posture. You look... well, you used to stand tall, and seem so proud and sure of yourself," said Twilight, her voice dropping to a whisper, "but now...? Not so much."
"Fine, I'm chronically depressed. Happens to half the population, practically," he said. "We're still trying different medications."
Twilight Sparkle said nothing, but her eyes were watery.
Shining Armor let out a deep sigh. "Buck it. Cadance knew this would happen if she left us alone. She probably doesn't even have anything to attend to," he grumbled. "Did she put you up to this?"
"What? No! I just, I haven't seen you in so long. You never visit anymore," said Twilight. "I've heard you've been hiding in the castle for the past few years. I guess now I understand why."
"Oh. So she hasn't told you?" he asked, then nodded to himself. "Right, that makes sense. I guess it's best if it comes from me."
"If what comes...?" said Twilight. Her dangling rear hoof started rapidly tapping the base of the chair.
The prince closed his eyes. "We're waiting until our hundredth anniversary, which is in eight months, as you know. At the end of the ceremonies, we'll announce our divorce to the public."
His little sister's face froze. Her mouth was half-open, but no words came out.
"Twily?" Shining Armor waved a hoof at her.
"What?! You can't divorce! That's impossible!" said Twilight, slamming one forehoof against the chair's legrest. "You're, you're perfect for each other!"
Shining's voice dropped to a ginger tone. "I know this is hard for you to accept, Twilight—"
"No, you don't, BBBFF," she said, jaw quivering as she frowned and clenched her teeth. "And that last 'F' is for 'Forever', in case you've forgotten!"
"Twily—"
"It just isn't logical! The two of you are perfect together, totally compatible in every way. What in Equestria happened? If there was a friendship problem in your relationship, the Map should have alerted us!" Her forelegs gripped the legrests of the chair so tightly her ankles began to whiten.
Shining Armor craned his head back far enough to stare up at the ceiling. "There isn't a problem, Twilight. We're just, 'done'," he said. "This happens all the time. It's normal."
"Not for you! You defeated the changelings with your love, for goodness' sake!"
"Ponies change, Twilight," said Shining Armor.
Twilight snorted. "You both made a royal vow, brother. 'Forsaking all others, as long as—'"
"'—you both shall live,' yes. I know the words, Sis," he said. "I've played them over in my mind a thousand times. Do you think this is something either of us wanted to happen? And I'm not forsaking her. Neither one of us is in a relationship with anypony else."
Shining lowered his head back down and winced as he saw his little sister staving off tears.
"Whose idea was this?" said Twilight, softly.
"Mine more than hers," said Shining. "She knows it's for the best, but it's been hard for her to let go."
"I can't understand this. Don't you love her anymore?" asked Twilight, wearing a mournful grimace.
Shining Armor smiled weakly. "Of course I love her. It's impossible not to," he said. "But we're different ponies now. I love her as a friend. My best, closest friend... but just a friend."
"I can't believe you would just give up like this. This isn't the Big Brother I know," she said, sniffling. "Marriage is supposed to be happily ever after."
"Marriage isn't supposed to last forever, okay? It's supposed to last a normal lifespan," said Shining Armor. "There's a way out for normal ponies: you get old, and you die. There isn't an escape for alicorns... or their husbands."
"But, but, you..."
"Sis, we've been married a hundred years! It's a world record, already! How can you expect more than that? I'm not an idealistic concept, I'm a pony!" shouted Shining Armor. He recoiled after Twilight began to cry. "Twily, I'm so sorry..."
"It's... it's okay," choked Twilight Sparkle, grabbing some tissues from the sitting table. "I mean, it's not, really."
Somepony knocked on the door, but opened it before either pony could respond. "Um, I hate to intrude," said Princess Cadance, "but I heard things getting a little maudlin in here."
"You should have stayed here with us," said Shining Armor, frowning.
"D-don't yell at her," said Twilight. "Please, don't fight. P-please."
Cadance sighed. "No, he's right, I should have been here. Look... Twilight, this wasn't going to be easy no matter how we broke the news to you," she said. "I think it might be best if you spent a little time to yourself. When you feel better, knock on the door and a guard will show you to your room. The three of us can talk this over at dinner tonight, okay?"
Twilight dabbed her eyes and nodded.
Shining Armor walked over and hugged his sister. "I still love you Twily. You know that, right?"
"I don't know anything anymore," she sobbed into his shoulder.
The dining table was too large for twelve ponies, let alone four. Prince Shining Armor and his wife sat on opposite ends, and Twilight and Flurry Heart sat on the same side of the table. Twilight sat closer to her brother, and Flurry to her mother, but nopony was within hoof-passing distance of anypony else.
Unicorns didn't need to be adjacent to pass the salt cube, but the space between everypony was still tangible.
"So. I hear there's about to be a lot of drama. Sorry in advance, Aunt Twilight. You don't deserve it," said Princess Flurry Heart. She glared back and forth at her parents. "Neither of us do."
Shining Armor set down his silverware and placed a hoof over his face. "Flurry, you don't need to be here if you don't want to," he said.
"No, I do want to. I'm sure my concerns mirror Twilight's," she responded.
"Twilight, did you tell Flurry Heart about this in advance?" asked Princess Cadance.
Twilight shook her head. "I didn't talk to anypony. I can still barely believe it. I don't want to believe it."
"Flurry Heart, your Mother and I..." started Shining Armor.
Flurry Heart rolled her eyes. "I already know, Dad. It's not exactly a secret to anypony with eyes. You're not in love anymore and you're breaking up."
"It's not your fault, Flurry," said Princess Cadance.
"Mom, I'm ninety-eight years old. I know it's not my fault," she replied, taking an angry bite of salad.
"So, I guess you thought it would be a great idea to broach the subject with your sister and your daughter at the same time?" asked Twilight, idly stirring her salad with a fork. "Bold move."
"We didn't plan this meeting out very well," said Shining Armor. "But at least now it's out in the open."
"At the very least, you two could do it more often. I don't like seeing my father like this," said Flurry.
"It's not that simple," said Shining Armor.
"We're going to do it again before our 100th, naturally," said Cadance. "We'll break up officially after the ceremony."
"I don't see why we need to bother," said Shining Armor. "Ponies are going to know at the end of the ceremony anyway."
Twilight sighed and looked down at her plate. "You have to force things just to be with each other? Haven't you tried couples' therapy?"
"We've tried everything, Twilight," said Cadance. "And yes, Shiny, we have to. One last time, shortly before the ceremony. I want you to look your best—"
"Wait, one LAST time?" said Flurry Heart, standing up and kicking her chair back into the wall. "What the buck is that supposed to mean?"
"They're kidding," said Twilight, with a laugh. "You're kidding, right? I mean, you're breaking up, which already makes no sense, but you're not going to stop..."
"I'm not going to be immortal anymore, Twily. I'm going to age gracefully and pass on, like everypony else does," said Shining Armor.
Everypony froze in place. For the better part of a minute, the only noise was a soft choking sound coming from the back of Flurry Heart's throat.
"You can't be serious," said Twilight Sparkle.
Flurry Heart sat down on the floor and stared into space, her muzzle open and twitching at the edges.
"It's my decision," said Shining Armor.
"I don't agree with it, just to be clear," said Princess Cadance. "But it's his life, Twilight, and it's his right to make that decision."
"Yes, it is! It's his LIFE!" shouted Flurry Heart. "You, you're nothing more than a murderer!" she pointed at her mother, her hoof shaking in midair.
"Flurry, I don't want to live forever," said Shining Armor.
"Tough horse apples. You're going to," she said, frowning. "You shouldn't get a choice. You mean too much to the Kingdom, and you mean too much to me!"
"I don't need to live forever. Nopony does, except for alicorns," said Shining Armor.
Twilight shook her head. "BBBFF, you're only saying that because you're suffering from major depression!" she said. "We need to get you a second opinion from a good psychiatrist. This whole thing is—it's just insane."
Princess Cadance's expression hardened. "Twilight, I want your brother to live forever, but it is normal for ponies to die. You've never spoken to me about it, but I'm sure Princess Celestia has lectured you on this already," she said. "She obviously made exceptions for your five closest friends as the Bearers, but I have no doubt you wanted to include Applejack's family..."
"Shining Armor is one pony, Cadance. And he's your husband," said Twilight Sparkle. "I can't believe this. You used to mean everything to each other."
Flurry Heart started to cry, but even as she did, she scowled daggers at her mother. "You're just... you're just incompetent, do you realize that? You have one job as a wife, and you can't even do that right!" She spat the words out like venom, then stood up and galloped out the door, taking the entire bottle of wine with her.
"Flurry, wait!" shouted Shining Armor. He stood up, but Cadance grabbed him with magic and pushed him back into his chair.
"No. Let her go. She needs time to deal with this, and an alicorn can't injure her constitution with alcohol," said Cadance. "It's good if she hates me, at least for now. It will help her to cope. Besides, Flurry was born an alicorn—given her slow rate of maturation, she's still practically a teenager. We can't expect her to be sensible the moment she learns her father will die someday."
Twilight held her face in both hooves. "I don't understand. Can't you at least try to make love again?"
"Of course we've tried, but it's not that simple, Twilight," said Cadance.
"It's simple enough! You don't love my brother enough to keep him alive."
"She does love me, Twily. It's just... it's so awkward. When we try to be intimate, we know we're doing it just to do it, and there isn't any love in a situation like that," said Shining Armor. "And I don't want it to be fake, even if it's the only way to stay alive. Cadance is still my best friend, but we're just friends these days, and it's time to move on."
Cadance nodded, and drank her entire glass of wine in a single gulp. "The last time we did it, Shining drank so much he made himself sick afterwards. He was able to relax enough to do it, but it wasn't easy. That was almost thirty years ago."
"I still feel guilty about the last time, to be honest," said Shining Armor, staring down at the salad he hadn't even touched.
"How do you and your friends do it, Twilight?" asked Cadance, setting the empty glass back down.
"Cadence!" said Twilight, blushing.
"What? Oh! I don't mean like that," said Cadance, returning the blush. "I mean, psychologically, how do you manage it?"
Twilight shrugged. "Well... it's easy. It doesn't require them to love me back, but even if it did, they do love me," she said. "It's just, I love them and I want them to be with me. So we all look forward to it. We do it on the evening of the Summer Sun Celebration every year."
"The anniversary of you moving to Ponyville," said Shining. "That's kind of sweet."
"Exactly. And they do it for each other, too. Rarity does it for Spike, and Applejack does it for Rarity. It's romantic, to be perfectly honest. They don't look at me very much while it happens. The three of them just look at each other," she said.
Shining Armor took a page from his wife and polished off his wine. "Wow," he said, and coughed.
"Interested in something like that?" asked Cadance, raising a brow. "We could bring Sunspots into the bedroom."
"What? No. For the last time, Cadance, I'm not attracted to her. Moon above me, I'm not attracted to anypony anymore," he said. "I don't know if it's the depression, or what."
"I believe you, but it would be okay if you were," said Cadance.
Shining Armor laughed dryly. "I wish you would be attracted to other ponies."
"I am, I just don't... I don't want to repeat what we had with anypony else," explained Cadance. "I still care about you."
"Like I said, you don't even need to love her back!" said Twilight. "She just needs to love you enough to share that love with you. Just, close your eyes and zone out, or something."
"I would, but it isn't right to do that to him if he doesn't want me to," said Cadance. "I'm in an impossible situation, Twilight. If you can talk some sense into him, please do."
"No, don't. Stop trying to convince me to have sex with my wife," said Shining, a deep-set frown on his face. "None of this conversation is right. I shouldn't be here listening to my sister's love life like some kind of sick pervert."
"No, it's okay. I want you to know what true love is like, BBBFF. Maybe you can remember again," said Twilight. "Um, what else? Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash engage me more than Rarity and AJ, but it took a few years to convince Rainbow Dash that it was okay. And Pinkie Pie's already an alicorn, so she pretty much does it just to do it, but everypony loves her so it's fine. One year I was sick and she took over for the whole event. It took at least a week to get all the confetti out of everypony's... okay, that much is probably TMI."
Princess Cadance laughed. "Oh my gosh. I know that's inappropriate, but... it just fits so perfectly. You and your friends really have something special, Twilight," said Cadance.
"I guess we do. I suppose it's why Celestia told me never to fall in love," said Twilight. "I always wondered why she and Princess Luna never married. It just doesn't seem right that they're all alone. I don't understand why other ponies can't have what we have. It's just love, you know? You of all ponies should have enough to spare, Cadence."
"It can't be that simple. None of your friends ever expressed regrets?" asked Shining Armor.
Twilight scrunched up her muzzle for a moment. "Well... It did take a while to convince Applejack. She agreed to do it for the 'greater good' and all, but... it was harder on her than anypony, at first anyway. She quit for a few years after Apple Bloom died, but eventually she agreed to come back into the herd," said Twilight. "She's a family pony, and she doesn't think an older pony should ever have to bury a younger one. She didn't blink an eye when Big Macintosh passed away, but he died when he was very old and I think she'd come to terms with it by then. If it were up to her, she probably wouldn't want to live forever anyway, but she wouldn't do that to Rarity or Spike."
"Okay then," said Shining Armor. "You might not understand, but at least you can see it isn't crazy to not want to live forever. I just want a chance at a normal life, whether it's twenty more years, or another seventy. It doesn't even matter to me at this point."
"Well, it'll be seventy at least. We'll find a way," said Princess Cadance. "Like Twilight said, you don't even have to love me back. I know I care enough about you to make you well again."
"I'm not sure I can handle another seventy years, but at this point I'll go along with whatever. But this is the last time. We need to move on," said Shining. "Now I have to get some sleep. Twily, we can talk more in the morning, but please, try to think about it from my point of view?"
Twilight Sparkle said nothing as her brother walked out of the room.
As Twilight entered the suite bathroom, she saw Princess Cadance holding her husband's mane back while he vomited into the toilet.
"I heard the telltale sounds of emesis," said Twilight. "Let me guess: this is the room where he usually sleeps now, and you got my brother so upset last night that he drank himself sick?"
"I don't remember drinking anything after that glass of wine," said Shining Armor. "It was on an empty stomach, but it wasn't much... er, huurp...!" Another surge of wine-colored stomach acid splattered into the toilet.
Cadence's face showed a deep look of concern. "Shiny, I love you. I don't want to see you hurting like this," she said.
"What? You did this," he said, looking up to her with bleary, but noticeably young-looking eyes. "Ugh. I should have known. You couldn't get me comfortable, so you just got me drunk and had your way with me."
"No, I didn't!" said Cadance. "I love you, Shining Armor. I would never do something like this to you without your consent, even to extend your life! I have no idea how you've rejuvenated."
"It's okay," said Shining Armor, wiping the sick from his chin with a fetlock and standing up on unsteady hooves. "At least it's finally over, and we don't have to do it ever again. And this way, I don't even need to remember what you did to me." He frowned, keeping his gaze low and away from his wife's watering eyes.
"If you're willing to violate your own husband, I guess this explains why you're not in love anymore," growled Twilight. The hoof she held against the bathroom door was shaking, and her eyes burned with a slight red aura.
"Twilight, I didn't do this!" said Cadance. "You have to believe me! I don't need to knock my husband out cold to make love to him. We just have to try, and we haven't been willing to—"
The sound of hooves entering the suite drew all three ponies' attention. Standing at the bedroom entrance was Flurry Heart. The look on her face was entirely vacant.
"Flurry?" said Cadance, and then her mouth dropped open. "No... there's no possible way."
"What? What's going on?" asked Twilight, her brow furrowed in confusion.
Shining Armor recoiled backwards, leaning into his wife. "Baby, w-what did you do...?"
"Her job," Flurry Heart said dispassionately, pointing at her mother. Then she turned and walked away.