//------------------------------// // Uncomfortable Confrontations // Story: The Guard And His Sword // by Himntor //------------------------------// I awoke the next morning in cold sweat, my heart pounding. It was two days before the Summer Sun Celebration, and everything was going to go wrong. I could feel it. Bang, bang, bang. I yelped and jumped out of bed, instinctively teleporting my sword to me and taking an aggressive stance. Wait, that was the door. I put my sword back and walked out of my room and to the front door, opening it a crack only for it to slam into my face and knock me to the ground as somepony barged right in. “What the hay is wrong with you?” Katana demanded. “Don’t you realize what you did yesterday?” I rubbed my face with a frown. “I-” “You didn’t even say goodbye, you just show up out of nowhere, and then poof! No explanation. I’d never do that to even somepony I’m hardly acquainted with, and you did it to your grieving mother and I.” I managed to stand up and face her. “Katana, it wasn’t-” “It wasn’t the right thing to do, you’re bucking right. Aren’t you even a little bit ashamed? I’ve half a mind to kick your flank back down for what you put Aunt Sacred through.” I grimaced. “I’m sorry.” Katana scoffed. “Yeah? Go tell it to the mare that matters.” “I can’t.” “Oh, you don’t say? What excuse is it this time? Is work that much more important to you than family? What a load of horsefeathers, Swordulan. I used to think you were a stallion with some integrity, you know. Like how Royal Guards are supposed to be.” “It’s not like that, Katana. You-” “Not like that?” Katana sneered. “Well excuse me, I’ll just mosey on out of here, all is well in Equestria, no family backstabber to see here, because it’s not like that.” “Katana stop,” I said, using magic to seal her mouth shut and bind her legs and wings. It wasn’t like she could get any more upset with me. “Listen, it’s not because of work that I can’t go back, it’s because I can’t bring myself to be there right now. I can’t deal with it. My dad is dead and I don’t care! What am I supposed to do about that? How am I supposed to talk to my mom? I can’t bear the thought of what that might do to her. There’s no way I can bring myself to face her. I don’t want to hurt her any more than I already have. If you want to kick my flank for that, fine. I’m pretty sure I deserve it. But I’m not going back to Manehattan, not yet anyway. I need time, and she needs time.” I took a deep breath and released my magic. Katana just stood there, glaring at me without a word. I met her eyes without wavering. “You don’t care that your dad died?” she finally asked softly. I pursed my lips. “I wish I did.” “Why don’t you?” My ears drooped and I looked away. “Because he never really loved or cared about me.” Katana again stared at me without a word. She opened her mouth as if she were going to say something more, but then turned around and walked out, closing the door behind her with her wing. I kept my eyes on the door a while longer, my mind trying to process everything that had just happened, everything that had been said. I shouldn’t have said that. Not half of it, at least. I… I’m an idiot. Oh, Celestia, help me, I wish that had gone differently. I could have shown more consideration or something. Maybe have made a promise, but, would that have even mattered? Katana’s trust in me had already been shattered, it seemed. It would’ve been hollow and meaningless to her. Ponyfeathers. Guess I’ll prepare for work. Breakfast, some short stretches, and then… well, there wasn’t anything else to do, so off to Canterlot I flew. I was a bit magic-fatigued by the time I got there. Using magic to fly was exhausting now. I could have simply teleported the sword and then myself, that was hardly a strain so long as I could focus, but I needed to test out my new limits. I don’t think I’d use it to fly long distances anymore, nor would I win any more races, but at least it didn’t feel like I was dragging around a brick like a normal sword would feel like. I landed at the barracks and checked in with Justice before heading to the walls. The day passed slowly, but I wasn’t exactly in a rush. The Summer Sun Celebration preparations were already getting underway, and something was undoubtedly going to go terribly wrong. How or what I didn’t know, but surely something would. While patrolling the walls I spotted Twilight practicing flying with Rainbow Dash. Weren’t they worried about the Celebration? Didn’t they think something might go wrong? I almost wanted to fly up there myself and ask them, but, well… Twilight was a Princess now. Maybe asking such questions wasn’t a good idea. I wasn’t even sure how to approach her. At least nothing went wrong today. Another star had returned in my cutie mark, the bottom right one. I sent a letter to Shining Armor about it and what had happened to my sword. The Celebration preparations were going as smooth as they could be. All was right in Equestria, as far as anypony could tell. Maybe nothing would go wrong. I mean, the switched cutie mark madness in Ponyville had been solved, and that was only a couple days ago. We shouldn’t be in for another disaster for a while. Yeah, things were gonna be fine. Except… they weren’t, were they? My family had seemingly fallen apart in a matter of hours. Katana might never want to see me again, and probably Mom too. Stonehenge was Celestia-knows-where. Dad was just… gone. I didn’t really have relations with my Aunt and Uncle. Was my family simply doomed to be broken like this? How were things ever going to heal? Did I need to heal from everything that happened? I… I don’t know. I was watching the dimming horizon over Ponyville as I thought about it when I heard Justice’s voice. “How we doing, Lieutenant?” he asked. I looked to him. “I don’t know.” Justice raised an eyebrow. “You don’t know? What do you mean? Do you see something out there?” “Huh? Oh, no, everything out there looks fine. I thought you meant how I was doing.” Justice gave a short laugh. “Alright then, why don’t you know how you’re doing?” I shrugged. “It’s… complicated. Captain, I’m not sure how to ask this, but… well I don’t even know if I should ask.” “If there’s something bothering you, Swordulan, I’m all ears. What’s wrong?” I hesitated, looking to Ponyville then back at Justice with a grimace. “Is… is it normal for me to not care that my father died?” Justice frowned. “You don’t…? Does that bother you?” “Yes and no? That’s why I said I don’t know. I’m not sure what to feel. For the most part, I don’t feel anything.” “Well… hmm. I’m not the sort of pony to say anything about that, Lieutenant. I’m a Captain, not a social counselor. Who am I to say what’s normal or not? But if you really want my opinion, then no, I don’t think it’s normal. Now I’m not saying it’s wrong, because I at least know everypony is different. Maybe you have sound reasons to not care. I never met your father, but if who you are today has anything to do with him, I would congratulate him for raising such a fine young stallion. Knowing you, I am sad to hear he has passed and that I never got the opportunity to meet him.” I nodded slowly. “I see. I guess that makes sense. It just feels wrong for me to not care. I want to, but for some reason I just can’t. Why can’t I care?” Justice sighed. “I don’t have an answer to that. Maybe it’s the way you’re grieving, or how you’re coping. You should talk to somepony more knowledgeable about this though, I’m sure they’d be more help than me.” “Do you think Princess Cadance might be able to help?” Justice chuckled. “Frankly I can think of no better pony to speak to.” “I guess I’ll go see her tomorrow then, unless you need me here more for the Summer Sun Celebration preparations.” “Don’t you worry, we’ll be fine without you for a while. Check with me in the morning before you leave though.” I nodded and gave a salute. “Yes, Sir.” Justice returned the salute. “Have a good night, Lieutenant.” He trotted off, and I shortly left the walls to one of the Night Guard officers and caught a train to Ponyville, too tired to fly and too distracted teleport. It felt like a long ride, especially so as anxiety welled within me for the day of the Celebration. I pushed the fearful thoughts to the back of my mind as best I could, repeating to myself that everything would be fine and that there was no way disaster would strike on the same day two years in a row, or so soon after the last disaster. I arrived home after dark and guzzled a glass of pineapple juice before taking off my armor and finding my way into bed. “Everything is okay,” I said to myself. “My cutie mark is coming back, I’m back to my regular duties, and Cadance will be able to help me. Yeah. Everything is gonna be fine.” Sleep finally took me away to the only place I felt at peace.