//------------------------------// // 19 - Anxiety // Story: Reflections // by RQK //------------------------------// Chrysalis beat her wings together as she surveyed the clearing. A few clouds overhead cast the whole area in shadow, which she felt appropriate. The countless papers all hung from the clotheslines like before. There were easels and tables spread about but, at the moment, none of them were in use. The collection of saddlebags sitting near the edge of the pavilion had yet to be unpacked. She couldn’t bother herself to unpack them. She couldn’t bother any of the others to unpack them. Pictures of a city being torn apart brick-by-brick flashed through her mind. Images of reality itself dissolving joined them. Every image was a lancing pain through her head. She had just seen that. She had just felt it. Chrysalis shuddered. She imagined objects, living and non, whole and unwhole, appearing and disappearing on a whim. Her hoof trailed down to her thigh; she felt a white-hot pain that she knew wasn’t there. She felt like her insides were twisting; she felt like she had been violated. A drop of sweat formed on her brow and she had to spend a few moments getting her breath back under control. Sunset Shimmer sat with Starlight Glimmer by the unlit fire pit in the center of the pavilion and spoke at length with Queen Adamantine. While one spoke, the other quietly munched on a sandwich. The two took turns while Adamantine, who only asked the occasional question, listened in silence. Twilight Sparkle sat on her cot by her lonesome. She held her head in her hooves and sat there in silence. Chrysalis was sure that she had been quietly sobbing to herself at one point, but whether or not that was still true was something outside her capacity to care. At least, that was what she told herself. She looked around again. She still wasn’t sure where Crystal Faire had run off to. Adamantine glanced over in Twilight’s direction, sighed, and then stood up. She gave Starlight and Sunset a nod and then exited the pavilion, now trotting in Chrysalis’ direction. Chrysalis straightened herself. “What do you want?” “I want to talk. I’m trying to gather everypony’s stories, you see.” Chrysalis looked at Adamantine down her nose. “And?” “And I was hoping that you could furnish me with yours.” “I am not sure that I am in a talking mood.” “I would be most appreciative if you would indulge me.” Adamantine glanced toward the ponies in the pavilion and then added, “And perhaps it will give you some time away from them. I am aware that you are looking for excuses.” Chrysalis thought about it once, twice, and then hummed to herself. “Well, you are not wrong about that. So, lead the way.” Adamantine nodded and motioned for Chrysalis to follow. The two exited the clearing and made their way into the village proper. “Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer explained most of what happened,” Adamantine began. “Seeing what you saw must have been a shock.” Chrysalis narrowed her eyes. “I would suppose that it was. I don’t fathom all of it, but I can gather enough.” “To see an entire reality collapse; to cease to exist… I would imagine that that is one thing. But… you have similarly lost yours.” “My home timeline is still there,” Chrysalis cut in. Adamantine raised an eyebrow. “As is my understanding. But it has been thoroughly ravaged, yes?” A pair of unponies, one the size of a foal, sat in the entryway of one of the huts. They perked up and waved as Adamantine and Chrysalis passed by. Adamantine waved back and exchanged wide smiles with them. “You might say that,” Chrysalis replied as her eyes briefly lingered on those unponies. “This… complete and utter destruction… on this scale…” Adamantine’s smile faded. “You have certainly dealt with it before.” Chrysalis turned her head away. “And I ponder on any difficulties that you might have had with what just happened,” Adamantine finished. “I do not need reminding of what happened to me,” Chrysalis curtly replied. “Ah, and yet, a reminder is exactly what you have received,” Adamantine countered. “Twilight Sparkle, for certain, but also you.” A rubber ball bounced across the path with a gaggle of foals in pursuit, giggling and shouting all the while. Chrysalis followed them with her eyes, licked her lips once, and then turned back to Adamantine. She then forced herself to look away again. “Don’t think that I’m having a hard time with it. And besides, what’s it to you?” Adamantine’s muzzle twitched from side to side. “I am… trying to get some perspective on the situation. I suppose that the question I have for you is… how are you feeling?” Chrysalis turned even further away. She couldn’t let Adamantine see her face. But she could feel her cold sweat returning. She wanted to hide it at all costs, but the images that swam through her head arrested her concentration. She decided to use the old and familiar diplomatic trick of passing the buck. “How about you ask Twilight Sparkle about it?” Chrysalis said. “I wish to ask Twilight Sparkle about it, but she does not seem to be in any sort of state to speak. To have to relive the death of her reality like that, I would imagine, must be extraordinarily difficult for her.” Chrysalis snorted. “And what if it is?” “I feel… that the both of you are equally qualified to speak of it.” There was a loud bang in the distance which made the both of them stop. Adamantine flinched while Chrysalis cocked her head in its direction. “Was that…?” Adamantine gasped. “Crystal Faire, most likely,” Chrysalis replied. Adamantine nodded. “But, nonetheless, I am curious to know. I implore you to give me a recounting.” Chrysalis groaned. “Fine. I’ll talk. This is what happened…” * * * Crystal Faire’s world was a blur. She lay in the sand, staring at the waves as they encroached on the land and eventually retreated. The rest of the island stretched upward behind her. She could see the central mountain from her position, even under the shady trees. There hadn’t been any mistaking it. That had been Cadance’s magic. That had been her mother’s. How…? she mentally asked. How can this be? I don’t believe it. I just don’t believe it. Crystal couldn’t even find the strength to stand up. Her mind’s eye wandered through the timelines. It eventually centered on a familiar one which had crystallized from top to bottom over a number of years. She scanned it, watching her past self live a life she once knew. And she watched a Cadance from her past living and breathing alongside her past self. It can’t be her, can it? A particularly strong wave made its way up the beach and reached her position. The water swam around her. She didn’t pay it any mind. She touched another timeline with her mind’s eye. Her world folded together and back out again and she landed on a cloud. An infinite night sky stretched in every direction above her head. She stumbled toward the edge of the cloud. She could see the depressions in the cloud from where Twilight and her had once sat. She now stood in that same spot overlooking the Crystal Empire. She stared down at the festivities. Ponies looked like dots weaving around each other and occasionally stopping to mingle. The sounds, while dispersed and unclear, gave hints of a smooth and melodic tone. Her eyes then drew toward the castle itself. Her mind’s eye could see within, where she watched as mother and father held each other close, speaking in hushed tones whilst wearing warm smiles. She turned her mental sights toward the later parts of her home timeline. She watched as she entered the world, as she grew up, and as she was officially crowned. Crystal then watched as the Crystal Empire shot an energetic beam into the air just like it always had. And then, immediately after that shot, the timeline ended. You… you couldn’t have possibly survived that, right? She looked at the end of the timeline more closely. She set her mind’s eye to zoom in on it. The timeline itself filled her view. She could see the spans of minutes and the spans of kilometers. She could see herself, much younger and much fairer, hovering above the castle whilst looking down at it. She could see a good score of ponies below, all gathered around the Crystal Heart. She could see the crystal ponies all throughout the surrounding streets with their heads bowed. She could see the internal energies within the Crystal Heart. She could see the purple and green flashes arcing through it. She could see the reddish tint to it that everypony else was blind to. She kept going. Crystal watched as the Crystal Heart spun and spun at greater frequencies and then finally coursed all the built-up energy into the castle itself. The castle glowed white hot and then a powerful beam of energy shot upward. Crystal touched a hoof to her chest. Her younger self was right in its path. She watched her younger self steel herself in those split seconds before it reached her. The beam connected. It reached her chest and then, as she could see in the timeline, phased into her body. She saw it reach her own beating heart, and then the timeline abruptly ended. Crystal wheezed. She had to take a moment to turn her senses away, and even then, that did nothing to stop the stinging sensation within her chest. She knew it wasn’t actually there. It hadn’t been there for a very long time. She knew her mind was playing a trick on her. She turned her eyes toward the real world and settled on the area under the castle. The Crystal Heart lay idle underneath; it glowed with a radiant energy but did nothing beyond that. It looked so pure. And she knew that it was, as she had seen an unpure Heart. The hubbub below continued on unabated. Crystal took a deep breath and turned her mind’s eye back to that final moment. She turned her attention to the land below where her mother stood with the Crystal Heart. Cadance looked frozen in time in that last moment much like everypony else. You didn’t survive that. Crystal kept zooming in. She could only see the span of a second now. You didn’t, right? Nothing survived that. Crystal scratched her head. Even… if I did… you… didn’t... right? She kept zooming in. She could only see a hundred kilometers in every direction. The end of the timeline, Crystal knew, was flat. Everything had ended at that moment in time. Crystal kept zooming into smaller and smaller timescales, and then, finally, she saw something which made her pause. The end of the timeline was supposed to be flat. But here there was a bump. …What? Even the voice of her thoughts couldn’t find its strength. Her mind’s eye zoomed in on it. It was more than a bump; it was a structure. It was a pointed structure lying across a flat-ish land. She could see several more structures that more resembled bumps. Crystal lost every bit of strength in her body as she realized what she was, in fact, looking at. There, within the vastness of interversal space, very much outside any reality she could fathom, the Crystal Empire and its surrounding lands sat atop a dead timeline. * * * “Cadance is Winter Amore’s mother,” Chrysalis explained. She then paused. A small grin spread across her muzzle. “Well, Winter Amore, Crystal Faire, Flurry Heart, you can call her whatever you like. It makes no difference to me.” “They’re all one and the same, I suppose,” Adamantine said. “And… what exactly is your relationship to this… Cadance?” Chrysalis growled. “I despise her. I despise all of them.” Adamantine raised an eyebrow. “Why so?” “Once upon a time, I disguised myself as Cadance. I took her place and then fed off her groom Shining Armor. I planned to launch an invasion with that power. The day that we were to ‘wed’ was meant to be perfect. And they ruined it,” she hissed. “I see. I was, in fact, somewhat aware of the circumstances surrounding that. Twilight has, at least, talked about your background.” Chrysalis rolled her yes. “Just as I would expect from her. She’s just as filthy.” “She told me that you did so in order to provide nourishment for your subjects.” “Of course. Everything that I did was for the good of the hive.” Chrysalis’ features contorted into a pained snarl. “And those ungrateful good-for-nothings spit in my face and abandoned me.” Adamantine hummed to herself but said nothing in response. She turned her eyes toward the street ahead as the two of them trotted through another collection of huts. An earth unpony mare emerged from one of the side streets, glanced in their direction, and then trotted over to them. She had drops of sweat on her brow and wore a concerned frown across her features. “Queen Mom, do you have a moment?” Adamantine grinned. “Always, Gabbro. What is on your mind?” “Something weird’s happened. I heard a loud bang inside my house, and now—” she pointed in a direction behind her, “—there’s something strange sitting in the middle of my room.” Adamantine blinked. She briefly cast her glance on Chrysalis and then nodded. “Well, I suppose that I should go take a look at it.” Chrysalis motioned Adamantine on and then followed as Gabbro led the way. As they walked, she studied Adamantine’s calm and composed expression. Her eyes discerned how Adamantine’s gait was collected and tall and characteristic of a regal mare. Chrysalis turned her gaze toward the villagers as they passed by and noted how they lit up in Adamantine’s presence. Adamantine, in turn, gave them warm smiles and occasionally a vocal greeting. Chrysalis couldn’t recall ever seeing that sort of thing when she strode through the hive. “Adamantine,” Chrysalis began, “there is something I want to know.” “Yes?” Chrysalis watched as another pair of unponies traded smiles with Adamantine and then said, “I will admit that you seem to do very well for yourself as a queen. You command the adoration of your subjects.” Adamantine chuckled. “I try my best.” “And they do not fear you at all. I have seen how they look at you. How is it that you keep your power in this way? Why is it that they have not attempted to overthrow you?” Adamantine raised an eyebrow and turned her head just enough to see Chrysalis out of the corner of her eye. She hummed after a few moments. “That is a good question, although I would suppose that I have an answer for it.” “Tell me,” Chrysalis growled. “Well, I would suppose that they know that I want what’s best for them. They know that I know what’s best for them. I like to think that I’ve consistently shown it.” Chrysalis could feel her eye twitch. “Yes. I have done exactly the same.” “Everything that I do, I do for the good of the unponies. That is my primary focus in life.” Chrysalis narrowed her eyes even more. “Yes, yes.” “And, if it really came down to it… I would give up everything in a heartbeat for them.” Adamantine straightened herself and said, “If I had to lay down my life for them… I would.” Now Chrysalis actually paused. Give up everything? “You must be joking,” she said. Adamantine shook her head. “No, not at all.” After a few moments of staring Adamantine down, Chrysalis asked, “Now why in the world would you do that?” Adamantine frowned, “Well, they are my world. So it just seems like the natural choice...” “Ridiculous. If I were to throw my life away, there would be no one to lead the changelings. You would not be here to lead the unponies.” Gabbro trotted up to one of the huts and parted the straw curtain hanging within the doorway. The hut, made out of wood and straw, was nothing impressive. Nothing seemed out of place at first glance. Adamantine followed but stopped just before the doorway and she turned to face Chrysalis. “I would not be, you are right. But I am not the society. I am not more important than the whole. So, if my life is the cost of their survival… I will gladly pay it.” Chrysalis remained silent. That gave Adamantine just enough opportunity to duck inside the hut. You’d really do that? Chrysalis thought. That’s… absurd. She shook her head and ducked inside the hut herself. There were a few effects here and there; mostly books and some cooking utensils on the side. A single wooden pillar in the center of the room held up the entire structure. Sitting on top of a bed on the far side of the room sat a large, heart-shaped, crystalline object. The heart pulsated with energy, so much so that nopony dared to approach it. Strangely enough, it looked a little transparent, almost as if it was unwhole. “What in the world…?” Adamantine wheezed. Chrysalis nudged her way through them to get a good look at it, and then she narrowed her eyes. “I know what this is. It’s an artifact that is supposed to be in the Crystal Empire.” “And what is it doing here?” Gabbro asked. There was another loud bang some distance away, and the three of them perked up. After a few moments of looking around in confusion, they glanced at each other. Chrysalis’ muzzle twitched. “What is that Crystal Faire up to now?” * * * “Oh goodness…” Twilight wheezed. She shook from mane to tail and didn’t even have the strength to lift herself from the cot. “To think that there could be stuff out there,” Starlight said as she scratched her head. She sat on the cot right next to Twilight. “It’s pretty bizarre.” Sunset, on the other hoof, stood right at Twilight’s side. “…Yeah.” The three of them jumped as they heard another bang from somewhere within the village. They briefly looked in its direction. “You don’t think that was just some random Cadance, right?” Starlight asked. Sunset shook her head. “Not from the way Crystal reacted.” They heard another bang from much closer by this time and they looked up just in time to watch a book fall out of the sky. Said book, which looked slightly translucent, thumped against the ground and splayed itself out with the pages lying in the dirt. A blood vein looked like it popped in Starlight’s head and she shook her head. “Okay, seriously, what is Crystal doing? Like, I know she’s probably in shock right now, maybe…?” Sunset frowned. “I dunno. Finding out that your people might still be alive out there’s gotta be pretty tough.” Twilight shuddered. “I’m…” The two glanced down with concerned frowns. “I just… I wonder… If there are things out there… if there are ponies out there…” Twilight croaked, “I wonder… what about my—” There was another bang somewhere in the distance. A third bang followed closely behind that. Starlight grumbled and stood up. “Okay, I think I’m going to say it: something’s wrong.” Sunset narrowed her eyes and turned toward the edge of the pavilion. “Yeah, I think you might be right.” There was another bang in the middle of the clearing and they all turned to find Crystal standing over the book that had fallen from the sky. Crystal scooped up the book with her magic and flipped through the pages with an increasingly blank expression. Starlight growled and stormed out of the pavilion in a huff. “Crystal!” Crystal blinked and glanced up. “Starlight…?” “What are you doing? What’s with all this stuff?” Crystal frowned. “You mean… this?” she asked as she held up the book. “Yeah!” Starlight exclaimed. “Where did that come from?” At that moment, two more ponies walked into the clearing. Adamantine floated a crystal heart in her magic grasp whilst eyeing Crystal closely. “Look at what we found in one of the huts,” Chrysalis said as she motioned toward the heart. “You’ve been busy, Crystal Faire!” Some bits of color drained from Starlight’s face. “Is that the Crystal Heart?” “That it is,” Chrysalis replied. “Seriously? Crystal, what is with all of this stuff?” “What are you doing teleporting all of this in?” Crystal backpedaled. The book in her magical grasp dropped to the ground. “I-I’m not…” There was another bang. Everyone whirled as another object, a pink-colored flip phone, dropped out of the sky and clattered against the dirt. It, like the previous objects before it, looked slightly translucent. Sunset floated the phone over with her magic and pushed a button on it. The screen lit up, showing pictures of some Crystal Preppers whom she only vaguely recognized. “What the hay…?” “I don’t know what’s going on. None of this is my doing,” Crystal said. After a moment of silence, Adamantine set the Crystal Heart on the ground and stepped forward. “Well, if you are not behind these strange happenings, then what is? What is the meaning behind all of this?” Crystal scratched her head. “I don’t know. I’ve been in another timeline up until now. These things are all appearing out of nowhere—really.” “We… This timeline didn’t just get shredded by debris, did it?” Starlight tremulously asked. “Not that I’m aware of. But I can say this… These… things, whatever they are…” Crystal swallowed, “everything before the moment they enter the timeline crystallizes. It’s… it’s like what happened with Starlight’s figurine. It’s like what happens with me.” There was another bang a short distance away from them. Everypony turned around to find something large now laying in the middle of the clearing. Everypony stared in complete silence. Nopony dared to move. Said something looked organic with a white coat and a long, ethereal, and prismatic mane and tail. Said something (a pony, by the looks of it) stirred, groaned, and then rolled over. The lack of golden regalia stopped nopony from gasping in surprise. Twilight sprang to her hooves and galloped over, nearly kicking her cot over in the process. “Princess Celestia!” she exclaimed. Celestia’s eyes popped open and she rolled over. She looked even more translucent than everything else which had recently appeared, but she was mostly there. Her eyes wandered over the clearing, passing over Twilight in the process. Her stare was blank, and she blinked several times as she looked from place to place. “Where am I?” she slurred. “I-impossible…” Chrysalis growled. Crystal’s jaw all but dropped to the ground. “Princess! Are you okay?” Twilight asked. She slid through the dirt and came to a stop right in front of Celestia and gave her several top-to-bottom examinations. Celestia blinked again and finally centered her gaze on Twilight. “Twilight? Is that you?” Twilight met Celestia’s gaze and nodded. “Yes. It’s me.” Chrysalis, who still stood next to Adamantine, clenched her teeth together and then backed away. Sunset scratched her head and drifted in Starlight’s direction. “What in the…?” she muttered. Crystal swallowed and straightened herself before walking forward. “Princess Celestia. You no doubt have some questions…” Celestia rubbed her face and then tentatively turned her eyes to Crystal. She then paused and sat up straight. She considered Crystal in full as her eyes ran over Crystal’s wings, her mane, and then the scar on her right eye. “You…” Celestia slurred as she planted her hooves onto the ground, “Yes, I remember you…” Crystal raised an eyebrow. Celestia nodded. “Your name is Crystal… Faire? Did I get that correct?” Crystal went as white as a sheet. The rest of the clearing held their breaths. Twilight forced herself to breathe and then leaned in close. “Princess… how… How do you know her?” Celestia’s hooves slipped and she lost her precious footing, but she soon tried again. After a moment, she shakily climbed to her hooves. She then frowned and looked Crystal in the eye and said, “Well… goodness… When I last saw you, you had just saved us from that dastardly Miasmus and—” Twilight’s heart just about stopped. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It all sounded so familiar. It was way too familiar. “—and then…” Celestia shook her head with disbelief, “our reality broke down, and…” Crystal stumbled backward and onto her haunches. “Oh my stars…” Twilight’s world spun and her body seemed to move by itself. She too stood up with her eyes fixed onto her mentor’s face. There were infinitely many Celestias out there, this much Twilight knew. But there were none that could speak as this Celestia had just spoken. None save one. Twilight knew that one all too well. There was not a doubt in her mind exactly which Celestia this was. “Princess… My P-princess…” Twilight stammered, “you… you’re alive.”